Eating disorder extremes

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healthy4self
healthy4self Posts: 198
in Motivation and Support
I suffered with anorexia and over exercising from the time I was 20-22. This past year I started grad school and have jumped to the other extreme of binging. I'm at a healthy weight now, but I know if I keep binging I will just gain and gain. I can't do this anymore. I am sick of crying, feeling guilty, and overall obsessing about food. I want to see a therapist because I am not strong enough to do this alone. I want to ask my mom to live with me for the rest of grad school to watch over me, but I know I can't put that on her. I want to be normal so badly. Have any of you been in my shoes? I need support. I feel so alone.

Please help

Replies

  • ABIGgirl
    ABIGgirl Posts: 29
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    If your starting grad school then they probably have a campus counselor for mental health! I have been in your shoes (to a point) and I know that ANY addiction is NOT capable of being handled alone. Go see your school health and wellness counselor, its no pressure, anonymous and helpful. You get the help you need, ok?
  • healthy4self
    healthy4self Posts: 198
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    If your starting grad school then they probably have a campus counselor for mental health! I have been in your shoes (to a point) and I know that ANY addiction is NOT capable of being handled alone. Go see your school health and wellness counselor, its no pressure, anonymous and helpful. You get the help you need, ok?

    I think that's a good idea. I only have 8 more weeks of school then I'm moving home
  • ABIGgirl
    ABIGgirl Posts: 29
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    I also took advantage of free counseling offered by the pastor of the church I grew up in....It's an idea.
  • cleigh86
    cleigh86 Posts: 25
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    I have not been in your shoes, but I have a cousin who is currently in a treatment program for both Anorexia and Bulimia. The fact that you recognize this patterned behavior, and that you want to get help, is great. You should definitely see a counselor or therapist as soon as you can. And even though you feel that asking your mom to stay with you is too much of a burden, maybe it would help to at least speak with her about it. Maybe she can stay with you for at least a little while. And above all else, you need to know that YOU ARE NOT ALONE. I hope you get the support and help you need! xoxo
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
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    From the forum rules:

    "MyFitnessPal does not permit the endorsement of any ED behavior, and strongly recommends that anyone suffering from the symptoms of Anorexia Nervosa, Bulimia, or Compulsive eating make use of the resources offered by the National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. You may reach the ANAD hotline by phone in the US: 847-831-3438 (Monday-Friday, 9am-5pm, Central Time) or on the web at http://www.anad.org/site/anadweb/ "


    That may help you out a bit.
  • sarahliftsUP
    sarahliftsUP Posts: 752 Member
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    I've definitely struggled with binging. I reached my goal weight about six months ago but then eating just got way out of control and I gained 10 pounds.. Like you, I'm worried if I don't get control over this I'm going to keep gaining weight. I just take it one day at a time and try to stop self sabotaging myself.
  • SanFranRunner
    SanFranRunner Posts: 33
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    I also struggle with binge eating. It's a huge source of frustration for me and I have yet to figure out a way to stop! I think that a large part of it, for me, is mental. I have somehow trained myself to react to certain situations by binge eating. And even though I hate myself while I'm doing it (and even more the next day) sometimes I even plan binges in advance! Nuts, I know.

    In any case, good luck with visiting a therapist at your school. I think the sooner you can get a handle on this problem, the better. And also, kudos to you for recognizing it and trying to get better!
  • andreabball
    andreabball Posts: 90 Member
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    There is a ton of help out there I've been in treatment many, many times and have been in recovery for about 6 yrs now. I'm not exactly sure where you are, but you may need help blocking symptoms as they come up. Inpatient treatment is great to help you stop acting on symptoms. Check out www.eatingdisorders.org. This site will provide you with a lot of information about EDs and treatment options available. Good luck!
  • mfpseven
    mfpseven Posts: 421 Member
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    I don't know how many times I broke down in my husbands or mothers lap because I felt like total crap. I got it in my head that I should be able to eat whatever I wanted and be ok, well I couldn't. I'm finally (on paper) considered in the healthy weight range and it feels good but I'm so scared that I will just do it again and put all the weight back on. But I feel like I'm in a good place right now and the biggest part of that was learning how to refrain from the mountain of sweets and make overall healthier eating decisions. I just hope it all becomes habit before I get tired of it.
  • jmruef
    jmruef Posts: 824 Member
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    I suffered with anorexia and over exercising from the time I was 20-22. This past year I started grad school and have jumped to the other extreme of binging. I'm at a healthy weight now, but I know if I keep binging I will just gain and gain. I can't do this anymore. I am sick of crying, feeling guilty, and overall obsessing about food. I want to see a therapist because I am not strong enough to do this alone. I want to ask my mom to live with me for the rest of grad school to watch over me, but I know I can't put that on her. I want to be normal so badly. Have any of you been in my shoes? I need support. I feel so alone.

    Please help

    Hugs. And more hugs.

    Yup, I've been there. You're not alone, not by a long shot. I have a blog post about what works for me when I feel the need to binge: http://www.myfitnesspal.com/blog/jmruef

    I think seeing a therapist is a really good idea. Someone who can help you channel the "I'm at a healthy weight" and "I want to stop obsessing" stuff into positive, good-for-yourself actions. You're so stressed out now - sounds like you need a healthier outlet than bingeing. A therapist can help with that.

    Take really good care of yourself, okay? You can beat this.

    Hugs again.

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