parents of boys & grossness....
So, I'm having an issue with my oldest boy (almost 7) and my husband seems to think this is a "boy thing" and happens a lot. Being an only child, and having only one male cousin younger than me, I haven't had much exposure to boys growing up to be able to dispute this fact.
If you are grossed out easily, stop reading now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I warned you.....
My son is having issues making it to the toilet on time to take a dump. At least twice a week, he comes home from school and give excuses as to why this is happening (at recess & they wouldn't let him in, in class & teacher was out, on the bus, etc...) that seem plausible. However, what bothers me the most is that he doesn't come home and get out of the nasty underwear right away! EWWW!!! He seems embarassed by it, which is good. However, I'm trying to teach him the hygiene side of it, and that doesn't seem to be sinking in.
I make him rinse out his own underwear and wash his hands after, putting the responsibility in his own hands. Plus, I'm sure it disgusts him to have to clean it himself, so helping reinforce not doing it. The frequency has decreased, but the fact that he still does it and doesn't come home & get cleaned up right away is what infuriates me!
So, parents of boys.... is this a "boy thing"? Am I over reacting? Up to how old have you seen this happen?
Yep, I know, fun subject first thing in the am....
If you are grossed out easily, stop reading now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I warned you.....
My son is having issues making it to the toilet on time to take a dump. At least twice a week, he comes home from school and give excuses as to why this is happening (at recess & they wouldn't let him in, in class & teacher was out, on the bus, etc...) that seem plausible. However, what bothers me the most is that he doesn't come home and get out of the nasty underwear right away! EWWW!!! He seems embarassed by it, which is good. However, I'm trying to teach him the hygiene side of it, and that doesn't seem to be sinking in.
I make him rinse out his own underwear and wash his hands after, putting the responsibility in his own hands. Plus, I'm sure it disgusts him to have to clean it himself, so helping reinforce not doing it. The frequency has decreased, but the fact that he still does it and doesn't come home & get cleaned up right away is what infuriates me!
So, parents of boys.... is this a "boy thing"? Am I over reacting? Up to how old have you seen this happen?
Yep, I know, fun subject first thing in the am....
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Replies
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nope my daughter used to do that too...then hide her dirty undies..i dont think its a boy thing0
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My boys have never done that. My nephew is 8 and does though. His dr says he's just lazy. I'm sorry, but if my boys did that I would be livid!!! There would definatly be consequences and I think your doing a good job at making him clean up his own "mess". If it continued (after checking with the dr to make sure there were no other issues causing is) then there would continue to be more severe consequences.0
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I have a 10 year old that won't shower unless I physically push him in the bathroom, thinks farts are awesome, and doesn't flush...so no, not grossed out at all by your post.
Have you spoken with his teacher? I remember being in preschool and the teacher not letting me out to go and well....you can imagine.
I make my son clean up the pee drips on the back of the toilet though. That's cut down on the pissy toilets. Good job on making him clean up!!
On that subject, why can't men aim???0 -
My oldest went through a phase at 7 where he would have quite soiled underwear... tossing him into the shower eachtime and making him wash them out seemed to help. It would happen when he was having too much fun to take a break and use the BR...
Still he hates to shower though...0 -
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I have a daughter that does the same thing. I don't think it is a boy thing I think it is a kid thing. I think they just get so engrossed in playing and they don't want the complications of changing. I will say that my daughter is 5, her excuse is she just didn't want to go to the bathroom. She doesn't seem to understand, there really is no choice in that matter.
I think you might want to talk to the priciple or the school nurse if this is only happening at school. I say that not to open whole other can of worms for you, but if he needed to go to the bathroom that bad and they wouldn't let him into the school at recess to go???? That doesn't make sense. Did he ask to go before and they wouldn't let him? How long was the teacher out of the class room that he couldn't ask her for permission in time to make it to the bathroom? I'm just thinking that if you talk to the principle and the nurse, they should be able to accomodate his need to toilet right away when he says he needs to go. I for one am a person, that when I need to go, I need to go. I don't get a 20 minute warning.
The other thing is he may be holding it in until he gets home, because he doesn't like going to bathroom at school. My oldest daughter does not go to the bathroom in public places if she can avoid it at all. She does hold it in all day at school. You might want to talk to him about that, to see it that is the issue.
Best wishes, I know it's hard.0 -
On that subject, why can't men aim???
Cause we don't care... maybe put a target in the bowl.. I know several bars that have done that in the urinals... less pee on the floor. :smokin:0 -
I'm a so sorry you are going through this. My stinky boy was 13 when I got him so I have not experenced you rexacat situation. But I do think that boys don't really care much about how they smell or how dirty their cloths are. Finally at 18 my step son recongnizes he "must" shower each time he runs. Even if he runs 3 times a day. This is reinforced b/c he does his own laundry now and dislikes the way his nasty clothes makes his room smell. But I am still sad to report that despite his efforts his room still smells like a locker room.
I think you are doing the right thing by making him clean up after himself.0 -
So its a good thing none of my family members are on here as this would embarrass them.
My brother did that. Seriously. I think his was more rebellion then anything and it was all the way up through the 3rd grade. I dont know what age that is as he is only a year older then me and that was few years ago.
He had to clean out his out underwear and stuff too. I dont recall what my parents did to get him to quit but I know they tried everything.
It did stop when we finally switched schools, but I dont think thats an option for you as moving is kind of extensive to stop something like that
maybe he's embarrassed to ask to go to the bathroom.. you might see if you can create like a secret signal between him and the teacher so he doesn't have to ask in front of everyone and can just kinda get up and leave.0 -
I don't know if it's a "boy thing" but I had the same problem with my son, only worse. He would poop and sit in it. He would hide his poopy underwear in his room. It was awful. The way we finally got him through it was setting specific "sit" times. He could bring in a book or something to read but he had to sit until he went. That got him on a schedule. He was never punished for having accidents, but like you, he had to wash his own underwear and take a shower. We even did butt checks.0
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I have two boys they are 14 and 11yrs old I have not had this problem however my 11yr old used to have the slight dirty underwear due to wet farts (sorry for the mental image) LOL!!! I would say do talk to your teach try to see if there is something going on at school. If not and he just dosent want to go during play time then maybe talk to him. I know in some instances (not for the dirty underwear but for other things) I have told my son if he continues acting like a baby Im going to put him in a carseat like a baby next to his 2yr sister and pull up to school to drop him off like that and hold his hand as I walk him in that usually straightens him up LOL!! (Im mean mommy).....0
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I have 4 boys and work at an all boys' school, so I'm not grossed out at all. My 11 year old used to do that, but has outgrown it now. I think they do it for different reasons, though. He was embarrassed or afraid he'd get in trouble sometimes, but other times, he'd just be too lazy to change his clothes and shower. I guess after sitting in it all day, what's another few hours after you get home?0
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I have 2 8yr olds and a 4yr old.... Can't say that's happened on any type of frequent basis, so I wouldn't say it was a boy thing. Just try and get him in the habit of sitting down before he goes places and tries to pass something. That may help with the accidents...0
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My gross boys are only 3 and 2....and potty training, we've had a few poop-on-the-floor incidents and one poop-in-the-pants....they don't seem to care or feel embarrassed, but then again, they're still very young. My oldest, 7, is a girl and she throws away any underwear that get poop on them for any reason (mostly not wiping well enough, I'd suppose) because she's very much anti-icky...but none of them like to bathe. If I don't actually monitor my 7 year old's bath, she'll pretend like she took one and go like a week without actually stepping foot in the tub...so we've become the hygiene nazis at our house. After playing outside, going to school, dance, gymnastics, swimming, etc., kids stink!0
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I have two boys they are 14 and 11yrs old I have not had this problem however my 11yr old used to have the slight dirty underwear due to wet farts (sorry for the mental image) LOL!!! I would say do talk to your teach try to see if there is something going on at school. If not and he just dosent want to go during play time then maybe talk to him. I know in some instances (not for the dirty underwear but for other things) I have told my son if he continues acting like a baby Im going to put him in a carseat like a baby next to his 2yr sister and pull up to school to drop him off like that and hold his hand as I walk him in that usually straightens him up LOL!! (Im mean mommy).....
I don't think that's mean at all! If more moms did this kind of thing, we'd have a lot less issues with kids.
To the OP--you should definitely talk to your child's teacher. My son was not going to the bathroom at all at school and the teacher let me know. Turns out he was embarrassed because he thought someone was going to walk in on him (same child who didn't mind streaking through the house...go figure).
On the flip side, I taught school for a number of years, and it can be difficult when a child is asking to go to the bathroom in the middle of a test or something. Ask the teacher if there are regular classroom bathroom breaks. When I was teaching I had specific times when the whole class went to the restroom and I made each child at least go in there so there were no excuses. If they didn't go while in there, that was their problem. I also had times designated when they could go if they needed to; for example, while they were working on seatwork and I was calling reading groups, they could request to go during that time (I taught them the sign for bathroom so they could just raise their hand and make the sign and I just had to nod at them). The only times I would NOT allow them to go was when we were taking a test (most of the tests had an oral component, plus you have to guard against a child looking up answers from a paper in their pocket while in the bathroom) or I was presenting new material. I rarely had a problem with kids trying to go at those times; most got into a routine of going at the class bathroom times and it wasn't an issue.
If your child's teacher is having class bathroom times, make sure your child is taking advantage of those times. If not, find out why. There may be a kid picking on him, so he doesn't want to go. If all else fails, have him checked by a doctor to make sure there's not an underlying condition causing it.
Good luck!0 -
Two boys (picured there <
) haven't had any issues like that. There's the occasional toilet spray but heck that can happen to men too0 -
I think boys are just plain gross. I have two of them. One is 14 and went through similar stages but I am happy to report that he is now a very clean kid! The other one is 12 now and while he has grown out of the stage where he doesn't make it to the toilet he still seems to have trouble cleaning himself. I often have to tell him to repeat his shower because he still just isn't clean. I think it will get better in time, persistence is the key.
Oh yeah and the toilet spray...sheesh! Luckily they clean their own bathroom and I just have to check and make sure they did a good job.0 -
I have 4 boys and it doesn't get better when they get older. I haven't had any of my boys, besides my 2 yr old crap on himself though. What is extremely annoying for me is the fact that they - my 17, 16 and 10 yr old will come in from football, basketball or band practice smelling like a funky grown man (there is a difference in that funk) and want to plop down on the couch or go straight to the dining room to eat. I have to call them out in front of everyone at home and tell them to take their stankin *kitten* to the shower first!
And don't get me started on their rooms. Now, I make them keep their doors closed because it stinks so bad. And I NEVER go into their bathroom. I HATE having boys!!0 -
I don't have a boy but I worked with a lady who's son took dumps daily in his underwear and without any real excuses. She's divorced from his dad and they are NOT on friendly terms so she thinks that has somethign to do with it.So, I'm having an issue with my oldest boy (almost 7) and my husband seems to think this is a "boy thing" and happens a lot. Being an only child, and having only one male cousin younger than me, I haven't had much exposure to boys growing up to be able to dispute this fact.
If you are grossed out easily, stop reading now!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OK, I warned you.....
My son is having issues making it to the toilet on time to take a dump. At least twice a week, he comes home from school and give excuses as to why this is happening (at recess & they wouldn't let him in, in class & teacher was out, on the bus, etc...) that seem plausible. However, what bothers me the most is that he doesn't come home and get out of the nasty underwear right away! EWWW!!! He seems embarassed by it, which is good. However, I'm trying to teach him the hygiene side of it, and that doesn't seem to be sinking in.
I make him rinse out his own underwear and wash his hands after, putting the responsibility in his own hands. Plus, I'm sure it disgusts him to have to clean it himself, so helping reinforce not doing it. The frequency has decreased, but the fact that he still does it and doesn't come home & get cleaned up right away is what infuriates me!
So, parents of boys.... is this a "boy thing"? Am I over reacting? Up to how old have you seen this happen?
Yep, I know, fun subject first thing in the am....
My brother never did that once he was potty trained though..not sure what is going on there...0 -
I would defintely talk to the teachers about it and make sure they are allowing your child to go to the restroom when he needs to.
And I agree with most of the posters here that boys are gross...lol. I make my son sit to pee at home. I taught him that when he is at home he should sit but when he is out in public he should stand. I never have pee down the toilet or splashed on my shower curtain or anything else. My SO also sits to pee so he isnt a problem either.
I also had the shower problem starting at about age 12. From about 12 until 15 it was a huge fight to get my son to shower. He would even go in the shower and act like he was showering but not use soap. It was totally ridiculous. Sometimes he would wash his body but just wet his hair, sometime he would wash his hair but not his body. I finally started giving him the sniff test and I actually put him back in the shower and bathed him myself after a few times of making him go back in the shower 2 or 3 times and still not shower after the 3rd time in for the night. I've heard from other parents that they have had the same problem with their boys...not sure what the problem is there, but it is yucky!
I think you are doing a good job of making him clean up after himself though. Have you thought about a reward system for every time he comes home with clean underpants? You could call it something else so that only you two know what it is so that he doesnt get embarrased about it. Or maybe Operation Keep Clean or something.. Maybe he could have a special treat everyday for coming home with clean pants and/or a big one at the end of each week. Something to motivate him to want to pay attention. Maybe its his gameboy or some special toy that he only gets if he comes home with clean underpants. Make a bigger deal out of the clean pants than the dirty pants just in case its driven by attention getting.
Just some ideas..... Im sure I have more.
Good luck0 -
I don't have children-- I have a dog.
BUT, I do have 4 brothers and I am going to agree with the line of thought that they are just way too consumed with playing and having fun to be concerned about ****ty pants.
As far as the pee thing goes, my mom put a bowl of Cheerios next to the toilet and would drop a few of them in so that my brother could play 'target practice' to learn how to aim and get his pee in the toilet.0 -
don't know if its a boy thing i have 2 boys they never did it but my brother did until he was 6 or 7, he would go hide sit indian style and do it... what got him to stop was other kids started making fun of him. so he quit.0
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I've heard of more than one situation where boys were teased or bullied in the bathroom at school (and, admittedly, sitting on the toilet you're pretty vulnerable) - its very possible that's where his reluctance to use the toilet at school comes from, especially if he doesn't appear to have too much of an issue with it at home0
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