Ok I need help-plz!

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cwglosin4vaca
cwglosin4vaca Posts: 63 Member
in Motivation and Support
Let me start off by saying that last year, I had a BFF/workout buddy. I got from 165 down to 138. I had alot of issues with that friend over jealousy. She was on Phentermine(nothing wrong with it but I dont agree with it) anyway, she wasnt losing weight. We had a falling out and instead of things going away(it was a stressful 4 months)-she added fuel to the fire and ended up(months down the road) bringing 2 of her friends to jump me. Not the most mature way for a 41yo to be but it is what it is. So after that, it left me crushed mentally and I ended up needing an anti anxiety medications w/ an antihistimine in it. Needless to say it had steriods in it and I gained all the way back up to 189.8. Thats where I started this journey with MFP. I took myself off of the medicine on July 27th and decided to change my life for the better.

I let that lady go(mentally) in my head and have even forgiven her(something I needed to do for me) and fast wrward to today. Another good friend of mine is also trying to lose weight. Her dr put her on phentermine 30mg/1x day. She wasnt losing weight while I was using exercise and my diet to bring the pounds down. I was eating so much food while on the medicine-I know I was losing a decent amount each week. It started out as .4 lb/day now almost 3 months into it, I have lost 35 pounds and am now losing a pound or so a week. I have been busting my butt running each night( which I have started to love) for 25-40 minutes burning 340-500 cal 6days a week. Now my friend got her phentermine upped to 37.5mg and weight is dropping off of her and she is so happy. It almost makes me sick. Im not jealous because I KNOW I am doing mine the right way(while I know some ppl do need help), she on the other hand isnt eating alot (like 400 cals a day) and not exercising. I just cant help but think about thngs that question my drive or my ambition. Its hard, Im trying not to let it get to me and just be happy for her but thats why I have turned here for support. DH doesnt understand why I let her get to me and all I can say to him is your not on that treadmill everyday-you dont know how hard its been. After I w/o yes I feel great and most of the time feel great doing it but mentally its a struggle. I think she is just taking the easy way out. IMHO. I need advice I dont want to fall into old eating habits. I thought for awhile she could be a w/o buddy. I even went to her gym one time. She wrked out for 15min started to sweat and asked if I done. Its not worth my time to w/o with her. I prefer to w/o at home by myself without destractions.

Replies

  • cwglosin4vaca
    cwglosin4vaca Posts: 63 Member
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    OOPS sorry its so long!
  • galvestongal
    galvestongal Posts: 186 Member
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    I have done the Phentermine thing. She is causing herself more health problems in the future by doing it that way. I still have irregular heartbeats and times when it pounds even though I have been off it for over a year now, its very scary. And as soon as you are off the meds the appetite returns and you gain again because you never learned to exercise and eat right to keep it off. Since I have only done diet and exercise, and while it is harder I know that its really the only way to go. And it certainly helps you to feel better than those pills do.
  • rbryntes
    rbryntes Posts: 710 Member
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    wait. you're doing successfully on your own, and someone else is doing successfully, through whatever means possible, and in a manner that isn't right for you. Why would you let this person take up free rental space in your head?
  • evans72002
    evans72002 Posts: 89 Member
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    Who cares if she is dropping weight? You are, too, but you are doing it the right way. You are making muscle and leading a healthy lifestyle. We could all smoke, not eat, take meds, but where would that get us in the end? Skinny, but unhealthy. Keep up the good work! You having met your goals is amazing! Do what you have to do and let her do what she thinks she needs to do! Being a friend doesn't mean you have to be workout buddies. Do things together that don't have anything to do with health, like shop or see a movie!
  • Jewels211
    Jewels211 Posts: 184 Member
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    First, congratulations on your achievement! You're really working off those lbs, and you should be proud of that! :flowerforyou:

    It's totally understandable to be frustrated when someone is popping pills and losing weight when you're working your butt off (literally! :bigsmile: ) yourself. But just keep in mind that you're getting so much more healthy and that your way of doing it is sustainable, whereas if/when your friend goes off, she's going to probably be right back in the same boat she was in before *and* she won't be toned as you are/will be. Try to concentrate on the good you're doing, and if anything, just feel concern for her. Maybe if you keep it up and she sees how great you continue to do and look, she'll come around. If not, you know you've chosen the healthier route that will do you a BUNCH more good than taking pills. Hang in there!
  • PeachyKeene
    PeachyKeene Posts: 1,645 Member
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    Adipex or Phentermine can make some people hateful and mean. It did me when I took it a long time ago and as soon as she is done taking the meds, she will most likely gain it all and more back. I did. You are doing it the right way, the way that is a lifestyle change. You know this is how it needs to be for the rest of your life. She will have to learn that in time, hopefully. I certainly wouldn't worry to much with working out with her. 15 minutes does nothing to help, if you ask me. I am going to send you a friend request because we are about the same current weight and we were about the same starting weight. I am a runner too. I do it outside though, I hate the threadmill.
  • kimbk1
    kimbk1 Posts: 38 Member
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    first of all, youre doing AMAZING!! KUDOS TO YOU GIRL!! Second of all, yes, she is losing fast but in the end, she doesnt have the drive to workout and soon all of her weight (if not more) will come back because she did it the fast easy way. Since she does not have the drive to work out, she will always try to turn to toward the phentermine and it will end up causing major problems if she is not careful. You on the other hand have the drive... you have the fire and are doing this for a healthy lifestyle change. you are beyond the getting started phase which is the hardest phase. you are doing this for a lifetime commitment, try to keep that in mind. Really, what your goal should be is to get focused on your lifestyle change and not just the weight. the weight can come off of anyone. the lifestyle change, not everyone can achieve. so, the next time that you see your friends doing this to lose weight, smile on the inside because what you have inside of you is not what they will ever have. they are the ones that try to take the easy way out. you win
  • slimkitty
    slimkitty Posts: 418
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    I am sorry about your ordel with your former friend. You are very strong to be able to get over it, let her go and forgive her. I give you a lot of credit for that.
    I am having trouble understanding what you are worried about with your current friend? Are you worried about the potential impact to your friends health, by taking the phentermine, undernourishing herself and not working out? ...or are you upset that you have been working so hard every day to lose the weight while it seems to be easy for her?
    What your friends is doing and her method of weight loss is out of your hands. Let it go. You can only control what you do to yourself. You are working out and eating healthfully and doing everything right. Congratulations on getting back into it after your horrible experience with your former weight loss buddy. Also congratulations on sticking with it for so long and all your weight loss. Keep at it, it is a lifelong journey. Being healthy, strong and active is so much more important than just being thin. Your friend is going to do, what she is going to do. Keep doing what you are doing and be there for each other when you need support.
    Good luck.
  • Thinwithin2010
    Thinwithin2010 Posts: 166 Member
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    Dont let them get to you girl! You are doing it the way it should be and you are definatly going to feel better and be in shape in the end. They will someday go off the meds and be shocked they gain it back as the did not change their lifestyle habits. They will not be strong like you. Keep up your good work. One of the biggest problems in this world is jealousy. Its very sad people cannot be happy for others. Keep your head up and if they are losing faster its ok, remember the end result is what counts and it only needs to count for you in your heart.! Best wishes:flowerforyou:
  • Lisa_222
    Lisa_222 Posts: 301 Member
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    You need to cut her loose for your own sanity. Her path is not of self improvement and its doing you no good. First off, she is going to lose weight fast and easy and when she goes off the meds, she won't know what hit her because the pounds will pack on faster than she can believe. Once you're off the meds, you cannot stop eating until you've gained all your weight back, plus some. Trust me, I did it and I know. You end up fatter and with a screwed up metabolism.

    What you are doing is improvement of yourself, your body, your mind, your lifestyle. Be happy and proud of yourself and quit comparing your progress. I know its easy to be jealous of someone getting thinner faster, but there will always be somebody thinner, richer and prettier, anyway, so what's the point of worrying about it. What I'm trying to say is lose that activity of comparing yourself to another. You are doing great and should be proud of your accomplishment.
  • SandraLD
    SandraLD Posts: 2
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    I have to agree with galvestongal. Using meds may make the job easier at first but meds always have side effects. And if your friend is not eating much of course the weight will drop quickly but when she is off the meds she will have to deal with the appetite returning and the fact that because she never exercised and tonned her body she will be dealing with extra skin every where. Not to mention the side effects of the meds which could be a lot of things and the side effects of not enough nutrition. You can actually eat a lot when you are eating right because you need to reve up your metabolisim.

    The changing your lifestyle by eating better and exercising is the hardest route to go but the best one. I know for me when I walk 30 minutes twice a day, eat right, get enough sleep, drink 8 glasses of water a day, and don't eat anything after 7pm that I lose about 1-2 pounds per week. And this is sustainable in the long run.

    Don't give up you are doing wonderful!

    :happy:
  • cwglosin4vaca
    cwglosin4vaca Posts: 63 Member
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    Thanks for the support. I know this is th right way but at the same time, its just a little discouraging but a part of me just feels like getting on the treadmill and running.

    I have to run on the treadmill or on a track at a High school. I have shin splints (sp) and they hurt unless I am running on something other than pavement. Believe me if I could run in the park I would :)
  • TammyTopaz
    TammyTopaz Posts: 20
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    Jealousy is human nature my dear. But u should not let the successes of others get to u. Some pesons will choose to take the "easy" way out because they are too lazy or not mentally incapable of handling the responsibility of hard work to accomplish the same goal. However, in the end, the ultimate winner will be the person who did it the hard way as their success will be that much sweeter. In this life, I've learned that, though victory feels good, the journey getting there, especially if it was hard work, makes it that much better.

    So, don't despair. U r doing great so far; don't ever give up. Just keep on working hard, believe in urself, set ur sights on ur goal and press on. Keep away from negative persons and focus on being happier and healthier.

    Have a fab day. Cheers :)

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