I am going to save your life....

kapeluza
kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
REPENT!!!!!












I kid.. I kid... No really though, when something bad is chasing you, bear in mind that when you try to start your car, no matter how reliable the vehicle is normally, you'll have to crank the engine over many times before it will fire up.


Never, EVER go in/out there (There being the attic, closet, barn, basement, dark alley, dark anywhere else, the all-concealing shadows, the woods or the lake)
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Replies

  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Also when running from a zombie or monster If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable.
  • GymRatRaceRunner
    GymRatRaceRunner Posts: 160 Member
    If you find yourself on a horror film cast, never have sex. Everyone who has sex in horror films dies...
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Rule 24: No Drinking. This one should be pretty plain obvious. Escaping zombies is tough enough as it is. How well do you think you will do after downing a couple shots of Jack Daniels? Drinking is not a good survival tactic.

    So basically, no fun if you want to survive.
  • YukonJoy
    YukonJoy Posts: 1,271 Member
    I'll go check if it's safe....
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    I am the one that will be waiting in the dark corner of the attic......
  • Bearface115
    Bearface115 Posts: 574 Member
    If you find yourself on a horror film cast, never have sex. Everyone who has sex in horror films dies...

    hahah thats soo true!
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,301 Member
    I ain`t skeered of zombies.
  • p0pr0cksnc0ke
    p0pr0cksnc0ke Posts: 1,282 Member
    ALWAYS double tap.
  • jenbit
    jenbit Posts: 4,251 Member
    Never say Ill be right back. And if people are acting wierd and telling you to leave LEAVE you Idiot LOL:laugh:
  • brattyworm
    brattyworm Posts: 2,137 Member
    I am the one that will be waiting in the dark corner of the attic......

    *goes to the attic... waiting for Fae to attack*
  • maab_connor
    maab_connor Posts: 3,927 Member
    I'll be right back.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    If you are a child, don't panic! Monsters only attack overly horny teenagers. Children can NOT be killed in a movie, only possessed or absorbed.
  • ♥Faerie♥
    ♥Faerie♥ Posts: 14,053 Member
    I am the one that will be waiting in the dark corner of the attic......

    *goes to the attic... waiting for Fae to attack*

    *Que scary weird you are about to be killed in a strange and unusually violent way music*
  • audigal2008
    audigal2008 Posts: 1,129 Member
    I ain`t skeered of zombies.
    LMAO!!!!
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Seriously...and when there's a psycho killer on the loose, for Heavens sake...put on your comfortable jeans and running shoes....not a mini-dress and heels!! Nobody EVER gets away from the ax-weilding masked pyscho in heels!!
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    Seriously...and when there's a psycho killer on the loose, for Heavens sake...put on your comfortable jeans and running shoes....not a mini-dress and heels!! Nobody EVER gets away from the ax-weilding masked pyscho in heels!!

    True, but if you are single/white/female and look remarkably like Bridget Fonda, a good stiletto can be used as a weapon.
  • Bahet
    Bahet Posts: 1,254 Member
    Most important of all - NEVER, EVER walk backwards!!
  • bikermike5094
    bikermike5094 Posts: 1,752 Member
    If you ever find yourself on a mission with Capt Kirk and Spock from Star Trek the original series, and they put you in the red uniform... DONT leave the ship!!!! You will be eaten by some some slime monster or phasered into vapors.. but you WILL die!!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,482 Spam Moderator
    Don't work in a Cutlery shop if you are taking blood thinners for medication.
  • anewattitude
    anewattitude Posts: 483 Member
    Never meddle in the affairs of dragons for you are crunchy and go well with ketchup!
  • xo_jewel_xo
    xo_jewel_xo Posts: 696 Member
    Cardio cardio cardio!
  • fitaliciag
    fitaliciag Posts: 373 Member
    Don't forget that even hiding under the covers isn't safe
  • Carl01
    Carl01 Posts: 9,301 Member
    Just remember one thing...

    get-to-the-choppa2.jpg
  • lemonadem
    lemonadem Posts: 398 Member
    Never say Ill be right back. And if people are acting wierd and telling you to leave LEAVE you Idiot LOL:laugh:

    I'm with you! People always seem to get warned and then never listen.
  • ZachyABaby
    ZachyABaby Posts: 235 Member
    Just remember one thing...

    get-to-the-choppa2.jpg

    hahaha
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    As a general rule, don't solve puzzles that open portals to Hell.
  • agwilker
    agwilker Posts: 104 Member
    If your friend trips while running and hurts their ankle, just keep running. They will tell you to leave them behind anyways and save yourself.
  • Johnnyswife
    Johnnyswife Posts: 1,447 Member
    I'll go check if it's safe....
    Annd your the first to die.:laugh:
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Riiiing, riiiing! Riiing, riiiing! Trust us, that's not your mother phoning to wish you happy birthday. It's Death - and he's calling collect. If it's a local call, he's outside or in the next room. If he's calling long distance - from Japan, say - things might be even worse!
  • meerkat70
    meerkat70 Posts: 4,605 Member
    Also when running from a zombie or monster If you are a female, never show your breasts, easy women are expendable.

    Realistically, I'm already screwed. The fat chick is *always* expendable. So I might as well die flashing.
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