Building Confidence?

Broken_
Broken_ Posts: 172 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
So I've lost a good amount of weight, I'm in fairly good shape, but my self confidence hasn't improved.

I kind of went through a lot awhile back and thought getting back into it and hitting my fitness goals would help bolster my confidence, self worth, and face value. Unfortunately, I still am unable to talk to girls (or ask them to dance) if I don't already know them.

I'm just curious if anyone might have a suggestion or two for building self confidence, getting over fears, and trying to work into having a social life again. I've been alone for quite awhile now and the truth is I'm lonely.

Replies

  • SunshineKisses_2012
    SunshineKisses_2012 Posts: 471 Member
    I have lost some weight. Certainly not everything I want to lose, but I'm still working on it. Something that has given me confidence in myself is by looking at myself every day in the mirror and telling myself that I AM beautiful and I AM worth it. Sometimes I don't sound as convinced as other days, but it helps me to see that I truly am someone that's pretty cool and worth talking to.

    Other things that have bolstered my ability to talk to people is one simple fact: The worst that anyone can say to you is no. They can't take away from your own self worth unless you give them the power to do so. A no doesn't say, "You will never find someone", it simply means "there is someone better out there for you." That doesn't mean that the person saying "no" is a bad person, or less of a person, but each no gets you closer to a yes.

    Self confidence and self worth comes from yourself. What is holding you back. Why don't YOU like yourself? If weight is clearly not the issue any longer, then what is it? Sometimes we have to deal with our past demons in order to grow. Sometimes that growth hurts and takes people out of our lives. Frankly, I have lost friends since losing weight. I've only lost 27 pounds. What will happen when I lose the next 30? And the next? People will come and go. They may be jealous of your success, or just insecure about where they are and by you getting better, they feel like their flaws are that much more amplified.

    I hope some of the above helped.
  • Cait_Sidhe
    Cait_Sidhe Posts: 3,150 Member
    I'm not sure what to tell you. I'd like to give advice, but my own self esteem is horribly low. I thought at this point I'd be way happier with the way I look. But whenever I see a picture of myself all I can focus on is the minutest flaw. Like the profile pic I'm using now. All I can see is FLAWS.

    I also have trouble talking to people, but that's never had anything to do with looks. I've just always been horribly shy. The only thing that helps (at clubs) is a little alcohol. I don't necessarily recommend that approach though.

    I can tell you that being quiet gives an impression of being aloof which is desirable. Unfortunately, it also gives the impression of snootiness.

    As far as rebuilding a social life, I'm trying to do the same having relocated to the opposite side of the country. Just get out there. Go to the places where the people you'd like to meet are, and eventually you'll meet people and even make friends. Become a familiar face. It'll make you more approachable.

    Then again. I kind of suck at giving advice.
  • bonniejo
    bonniejo Posts: 787 Member
    I'm feeling the same way. Logically, at 20% body fat, and 35-26-35 measurements, I should be happy, but I'm not. I don't know why either.
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