My sister wants to get Gastric Bypass

urnewbuddee
urnewbuddee Posts: 53 Member
edited October 3 in Health and Weight Loss
Last night, I overheard my sister talking with my mother. They were discussing a time to meet up with my mother's coworker who had gastric bypass almost 2 years ago. My sister is 21 years old, weighs around 260 lbs, has never changed her bad eating habits, consumes at least 2 fast food meals a day (mostly McDonald's and Wendy's), does not exercise at all, and smokes around a pack a day. She is also per-diabetic and has back problems.

Knowing all of her issues, her age, her diet and exercise habits...I know she will most likely be turned down for the surgery. I have tried to get her to eat healthier and work out with me. I ask if she wants to go on walks, or if she wants to start eating the food I cook. I even signed her up for MFP and she used it for about 2 hours, then forgot it existed.

What can I do to help convince her to get herself healthy in a natural way? Please, anything would be helpful.

Replies

  • marquesajen
    marquesajen Posts: 641
    Unfortunately, there is nothing you can do to make her change. I wish there was, so I could change the unhealthy habits in the people I love too. Maybe talking to this coworker or a doctor will knock reality into place for her, that she has to change her habits to lose weight first and foremost. Maybe seeing you succeed will inspire her. For me, I wanted to lose weight, but I was never really invested in it until now. Everything built up and finally hit me.

    I wish you both good luck with your health, hang in there :)
  • dlyeates
    dlyeates Posts: 875 Member
    If you think she will listen to you then tell her all the things you just told us.

    If not, then let the doctor's do the explaining because she could just see you as a nag.

    It's a really hard position to be in knowing what the real answer is, offering your advice and having people just disregard it because they don't want to change. I deal with this a LOT with a friend who is having financial issues and doesn't change a thing.....and I've given her the tools we used to get out of debt!!!

    Good luck!!!
  • MIMITIME
    MIMITIME Posts: 405 Member
    Sounds like you have done all you can do. Most likely, your sister will only do those things when she decides she wants to. The Gastric Bypass is extreme. Wonder if she would consider the Lap Band instead? Based on what I have read, the Lap Band can be undone. It would be great if she would try MFP. I was considering the Lap Band befoe finding this site. This site is working for me and I could not be happier. Good Luck
  • Larius
    Larius Posts: 507 Member
    Someone hurting themselves with no interest in improvement may be suffering from depression. If so, help is available for that too.

    *I am not really a doctor, but I play one on MFP forums.
  • KMSForLife
    KMSForLife Posts: 577 Member
    I agree - not much you can do. You can certainly try but at the end of the day, she will go in the direction she wants. I know for me, no matter how much my husband and family encourage me to lose weight - I just couldn't do it until I was ready. I am one of those people that never felt as big as I look. She won't qualify for gastric bypass at 260 lbs (well, i guess that depends on how tall she is - bmi).

    Anyway - nag or not - continue to nag because you love her. Hopefully she will come around.
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
    If the doctor she goes to is any good, he'll tell her straight up what she will have to do after surgery. Hopefully he'll tell her it isn't a quick fix and that she will have to change her eating habits. When people have the bypass surgery, they can only eat small amounts at a time. She won't be able to just eat whatever she wants.

    I had a friend years ago who had had the surgery. Her metabolism slowed WAY down, and some other health problems caused her to have to have the bypass reversed. However, the initial surgery and lifestyle change caused her metabolism to be PERMANENTLY slowed down, and she will never be able to lose weight at all. She will be heavy the rest of her life. Now, I think her situation was a rare complication, but still, it seems so risky to me.

    At this point, I'd pray for a doctor that will tell her the straight-up truth. I think some counseling and working with a nutritionist is required as part of the process (if it's not, it should be!). At 260, some doctors probably wouldn't even do the surgery until she had made good, monitored attempts to lose the weight on her own. 260 is heavy, but not so heavy that she couldn't do this on her own. In the end, though, you may have to just step back and let her make her own choices. It sounds like you've done everything you can to try to get her to do it the right way. It sure is hard, though, to watch someone you love self-destruct.
  • Ruby11222
    Ruby11222 Posts: 114
    That is really sad. I am in pretty much the same situation, except my sister refuses to do anything, including surgery.

    Wish I had some advice for you, unfortunately nothing i've tried works either. I think they just have to be ready, and hopefully it's soon!
  • microwoman999
    microwoman999 Posts: 545 Member
    Tell her that it is a horrible change! My Sister and her Husband both did it! They have gained most of there weight back and they can not take certain medicines like Ibuprofen or anti inflammatorys. For example: My back is pretty bad and if I had that surgery I could not take an anti inflammatory for the swelling in my back which GREATLY reduces my pain! My Sister is also going through some serious mal nutrition! She has neropothy (don't know how to spell it) Because her vitamins were to low for so long! Which means her nerves are dieing in her feet! And until she can get her b12 and iron back up she is going to be in extreme pain!(which can take up to 18 months) Can barely walk or stand sometimes! Now we also know of someone else who had these problems and technically died for a few moments and was brought back! Because of vitamin deficiency. Her doctor was so confident that it was from Gastric Bypass that they did a reversal for the surgery and she is doing well now! Please DON'T LET HER DO IT!! She can loose the weight the hard way!! Did I mention my Sister gained back weight and her husband! My Sister got down to 175 which is about me 5 lbs smaller and she is now back to 220! Which is still less than she was before but I started loosing weight at 241!
  • emy10284
    emy10284 Posts: 171 Member
    honestly she has to want to do it herself. i went to high school with a girl was the same way she is like 5'1 and over 100 lbs overweight . she always talked about wanting to lose weight but was still eating horribly always talked about working out but never did it. she actually needed up actually getting gastric and is still unhealthy more so now then ever because she still does not eat right and ended up with a ton of loose skin because she didn't try to work out as she lost weight .
  • ber3023
    ber3023 Posts: 146 Member
    My mom had gastric bypass about 8yrs ago. It worked really well for her and she hasn't regretted it one day. However, with friends she's made during this journey, we've noticed that generally the ones that refused to change their bad habits before surgery, will continue those bad habits after surgery, which will cause it to fail. Sure in the beginning they lose tons of weight and fast, but eventually they're able to stretch their new pouch out and consume the old foods, which will cause weight gain.
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    Unfortunately, it is sooooo easy to get approved for the surgery. With many insurance companies a plan like WW for six months counts as their "Supervised diet program" that is needed for approval. So, she could easily sign up for WW, log whatever she feels like while eating things that are completely different than what she logs and so long as she passes the mental exam and the blood test they do to make sure the liver and heart are all functioning okay, she will be approved.

    The other unfortunate factor is that this is something she will have to decide on her own. There is nothing anyone can do or say to talk her out of it if her mind is made up. You can talk to her and tell her that even with surgery, she CAN regain the weight. I've seen it with my own eyes. So unless she drastically changes her eating habits post surgery, it will only be a short term fix....and if she's going to change them post surgery, why not just go ahead and change them pre surgery, save a ton of money, and spare herself from the pain and misery she will have if she eats bread, beef, or ends up throwing up from eating too much? I seriously looked into lap band. Went to my first 4 consultation appointments, passed the mental exam (not sure how I pulled that one off. ;-) ) all I had left to do was 2 more "weight loss" visits, the blood work, and the EKG. But once I really started thinking about it I asked myself "What if my body rejects having a foreign object in my body? Do I really want to go my whole life being in severe pain if I eat tortillas or bread? Do I really want to throw up every time I drink alcohol?" The answer was NO!!!!! So even if it takes me 10 yrs, I'm doing this the natural way! Ultimately though, it's her choice to make.
  • MrsWibbly
    MrsWibbly Posts: 415 Member
    A couple of days ago I saw a posting under the success stories about someone who considered the surgery, but then managed to lose all of the weight without surgery. Sorry I can't remember any more details. If I find it I'll post a link to it.
  • d2footballJRC
    d2footballJRC Posts: 2,684 Member
    My mom had gastric bypass about 8yrs ago. It worked really well for her and she hasn't regretted it one day. However, with friends she's made during this journey, we've noticed that generally the ones that refused to change their bad habits before surgery, will continue those bad habits after surgery, which will cause it to fail. Sure in the beginning they lose tons of weight and fast, but eventually they're able to stretch their new pouch out and consume the old foods, which will cause weight gain.

    Another big thing to worry about with gastric is if you eat too much once it's done you can actually tear the area and that causes a LOT of health problems.
  • DannyMussels
    DannyMussels Posts: 1,842 Member
    Not 100% sure, but someone had a post on here with some horror story about it. I think. They were advising someone against it for whatever reasons.
  • MsFitnFabulous
    MsFitnFabulous Posts: 432 Member
    Unfortunately you can't want for someone else what they don't want for themselves. If that were the case I would so do it for my mom who has to take 4 blood pressure meds and was just diagnosed as a diabetic earlier this year. I pray continually for her.

    I give her advice and educate her on what she's eating. It's up to them to decide what goes in their bodies.

    All of my friends & family say how fit I look (true), that I look content (true), I've made amazing progress (true) , I glow with health (true), and that I inspire them. All we can do is set the best example we can and hope they get it together!!!
  • geri1955
    geri1955 Posts: 106
    Actually, with her pre diabetes she WILL be able to qualify for the surgery! That and hbp ,her weight, her age all is a go for her! Except they will want her to quit smoking and also do a psycological examination! I had gastric bypass in 2001 and here I am today(mfp) ! I did lose 114 lbs in 18 months but I also gained back 40 in the past 4 years..so Know I'm on mfp learning the tricks of the trade! If ur sister thinks its the easy way out she is DEAD wrong, it was a long painful recovery, and I still cant eat certain foods that make me sick since the surgery, nor can I drink milk or ice cream as now I am lactose intolerant after surgery!MFP is ten x's easier then doing the gastric bypass surgery, but if thats what she wants there is no changing her mind and I hope she is tolerable to pain!! also a friend of mine had it done and only lost 50 + lbs so she is still 60+ over weight KEEP IN MIND IT DOES NOT ALWAYS WORK FOR EVERYONE, sometimes they only lose half of what they needed to lose and get discouraged after the 18month losing period and start eating more and more til' the stomach pouch is stretched out again!!!!!!! again I say IT IS NOT AN EASY WAY OUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TY geri p.s. if this is what she wants all you can do is be there for her and support her discision! Would I do it again? NO!!! I have more control on MFP then anything cuz I thought it was a easy way out tooo!!!:: :smile:
  • carolanne6
    carolanne6 Posts: 2 Member
    Wow! I didn't know there was still so much hate for this surgery.

    I had it and it was the best decision I have ever made. I only wish I had done it years ago. There are changes that have to be made, but you kind of have no choice. She will have to quit smoking. If she insists on going for it, the best thing you can do is be a support. Learn all you can (the good as well as the bad), also encourage her to get counseling with someone knowledgeable about weight loss surgery. As the guy who did my psych eval said, this surgery changes your hardware, but for it to work, you have to change your software. I will tell you, I couldn't exercise before surgery. Now, I can and I even enjoy it!
  • Raf702
    Raf702 Posts: 196 Member
    She's still young, convince her through your actions. Seeing is believing and that's how people become influenced or motivated. I would only consider it if a person just has no self-control on eating habits. And the older a person get's the harder it is to make drastic changes in their lives, as they've become so accustomed to their comfortable ways. She's still has plenty of time before going under the knife for a surgery like this. I would look into the Lap-band before doing gastric bypass, just a thought to think about.
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