unsatisfied after achieving UGW

skinnylove00
skinnylove00 Posts: 662 Member
edited October 3 in Success Stories
i remember the exact conversation i had with my roommate last year when we talked about how much weight we wanted to lose for the summer. it was in the cafeteria and it went like this:

me- i really want to get down to 115, i am 120 now
her- me too! 115 would be awesome.
me-maybe even 110....
her-omg i would DIE if i got to 110.

now here i am at 108 pounds, and i am still unhappy with my body. i have dealt with eating disorder issues in the past and maybe some residual issues that i am still dealing with now. MY question for YOU is, have you ever felt this way? what are you doing to fix it? do i just work on my self esteem or should i continue to work my *kitten* off till i get the body i want??

Replies

  • avarielle1215
    avarielle1215 Posts: 59 Member
    Do you ever get a different haircut and have a little freakout because you no longer look like you? I'd imagine having a new body will be similar. It takes time to adjust to the new you. I would give yourself some time (At least a month) at maintenance and see how it goes.

    Working on your self-esteem can NEVER hurt and, think of this way...you can ALWAYS lose more weight later if you decide that's what is best for you emotionally and physically. What concerns mean is the ED history combined with some info on your profile: You said your lowest weight was 100 and you were too thin and didn't feel like a woman. 108 is a pretty short hop from that.

    You have worked hard to build muscle...gotta feed those girl!
  • ktfitzgerald
    ktfitzgerald Posts: 369 Member
    I sincerely hope this answer won't upset you. I know exectly how you feel - I'm 105 lbs and my body still isn't perfect. Point is, it never will be. There will always be something that could look better. But anything lower would be an unhealthy weight. So I am working out and sticking between 105 and 110.

    You look absolutely fabulous! I don't think your body is the problem here. I think the body you think you want would be terribly unhealthy. Cut yourself some slack and appreciate the fabulous body you've worked so hard for!
  • Jeff92se
    Jeff92se Posts: 3,369 Member
    you look damn good to me.
  • lizzybethclaire
    lizzybethclaire Posts: 849 Member
    I would see a doctor to make sure that you are at a healthy weight. What works for one might not work for another, but you also don't want to be too skinny. It can be unhealthy.
  • I have found a little work with a counselor has helped me in my new quest for health and beauty - maybe the same would benefit you, and if there are any self-esteem issues lurking, you can figure out where they come from...

    I would move into maintenance mode and try to eat really clean. Find a sport or dance class that you enjoy - try not to count calories or log your exercise time. If you are enjoying what you are doing, your body with get stronger and your mind lighter.

    Good luck!
  • Soulierl
    Soulierl Posts: 18 Member
    I certainly agree that speaking to a counselor may help your body image. I certainly understand about body image!!!! I hope this comment doesn't offend anyone!!! I used to think that I must be like a "reverse anorexic" -- people with anorexia look in the mirror and believe they look fat - and they are usually skin and bones -- I was 218 pounds, and I would look in the mirror and think, "well, you don't look all that bad, suck in here - tan here...." I never had photos taken of me at that size -- until the day my husband deployed to Iraq... (my before photo in the white shirt)... I cried my eyes out when I saw that photo.... My brother is about 500 pounds.... my sister has always been large, around 340... I couldn't believe that I had done that to myself, and that I couldn't see it....

    Well, I vowed the day I saw that photo of me to lose weight and get healthy (was on cholestoral meds)... that was March 2010 -- I have lost down to 155 (I'm 5'7 med build). NOW I look in the mirror and am still not happy -- I would like to get down to 140 or 145 - as the doc says that should be my healthy weight.... Why am I not happy with ALL this fat (63 pounds was 65 pounds - gone!!)

    I am, however, off cholestoral medication!!! But I still don't have the body I want --- My husband says I will never be satisfied -- and he's probably right.... I try to make sure I work out and do something at least one hour a day. But I'm learning that I'm never going to look like those women on the fitness videos -- And I'm learning to accept that .....

    Since my husband returned from Iraq - it's been SOOO hard to keep this weight off --- for the past 12 years, my husband has equated my happiness with chocolate!!! If he wanted to make me happy -- he would just treat me to something chocolate!! I have to change his mindset completely... and that's been hard.... since allllll I want to do alllll day long is eat chocolate!!! But I know I can't! :O)

    I know I've just rambled on in this post --- I guess I could just sum it up like a couple of the other posters --- understand that you are probably never going to get the body that you "think" you want -- and learn to be happy about the body that you have -- you are beautiful!!!! You are successful!!! You have accomplished so much.... Talk to someone about body image - and perspective... see if that helps.... don't allow yourself to hurt yourself for an image in your head..... Just know you are BEAUTIFUL!!! :flowerforyou:
  • rfarinha
    rfarinha Posts: 388 Member
    I have to agree with Shringlily.... Especially given your history of eating disorder. Not that you are exhibiting any eating disorders now, but the psychological issues that may not have been fully resolved. You deserve to be HEALTHY in every aspect of the word. You are definitely thin, but you also exhibit strength in your photos, which is great!
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    Well, I see 2 different issues here. First of all, let me say I know how you feel. I hit my original goal of 140 2 weeks ago, but I don't look nothing like I thought I would. Now, I do have 2 children, and I still have my "pouch". I was almost in tears because I wasn't as small/flat as I thought I would be. I carry all my weight in my stomach - it is annoying. So, I have set a new goal weight of 135, and I have decided I will go as low as I want until I am happy with myself.

    For you though being 108, it sounds like a self-esteem issue (which I also have) thanks to my ex. I would highly recommend seeing a counselor - they work wonders. I have/am seeing on myself. I was always a very confident person until my ex ripped my self-esteem from me. I don't view myself like others do. I get comments all the time about how I don't need to lose anymore weight or I am getting too thin, but I see what I still need to do. I would definitely recommend not losing anymore especially since you have dealt with an ED in the past. I would seek professional help.
  • shaj316
    shaj316 Posts: 161
    you look damn good to me.

    this.
  • I look at old pictures of myself, put on old clothes and realize how far I have come.
  • teri1956
    teri1956 Posts: 221 Member
    Do you ever get a different haircut and have a little freakout because you no longer look like you? I'd imagine having a new body will be similar. It takes time to adjust to the new you. I would give yourself some time (At least a month) at maintenance and see how it goes.

    Working on your self-esteem can NEVER hurt and, think of this way...you can ALWAYS lose more weight later if you decide that's what is best for you emotionally and physically. What concerns mean is the ED history combined with some info on your profile: You said your lowest weight was 100 and you were too thin and didn't feel like a woman. 108 is a pretty short hop from that.

    You have worked hard to build muscle...gotta feed those girl!

    This is such a good perspective - solid!
  • morkiemama
    morkiemama Posts: 894 Member
    I'd like to point out for the various posters who are unhappy at their GW that losing more weight might not fix the problem. You may have reached your goal weight by losing some muscle along with the fat and now you're what trainers like to call "a smaller fat person." You don't have the tone, tightness, or look that you want. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WEIGHT.

    You might not have to lose any more weight at all! In fact, you might put ON weight to get the desired look (but healthy weight, not fat). I'd say up the exercise and NOT just cardio, add a weight training schedule now that you are at goal. Stick with your new routine *at maintenance* (meaning eat those weight training calories back!) for a few months and see if that helps. :)

    I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but it is something to think about. Good luck!
  • agthorn
    agthorn Posts: 1,844 Member
    I'd like to point out for the various posters who are unhappy at their GW that losing more weight might not fix the problem. You may have reached your goal weight by losing some muscle along with the fat and now you're what trainers like to call "a smaller fat person." You don't have the tone, tightness, or look that you want. THIS HAS NOTHING TO DO WITH WEIGHT.

    You might not have to lose any more weight at all! In fact, you might put ON weight to get the desired look (but healthy weight, not fat). I'd say up the exercise and NOT just cardio, add a weight training schedule now that you are at goal. Stick with your new routine *at maintenance* (meaning eat those weight training calories back!) for a few months and see if that helps. :)

    I'm not saying this applies to everyone, but it is something to think about. Good luck!

    I was going to say this, but you beat me to it. The number on the scale is not everything!
  • lolainlondon
    lolainlondon Posts: 160 Member
    You look amazing. All the dieting in the world won't help if the problem is with how you see yourself. Maybe find a counsellor to talk to about it before considering any more weight loss? That way if you decide you need to lose more, or do more toning, you'll know that it's not coming from an unhealthy place inside.
  • Jenh714
    Jenh714 Posts: 14
    I am so afraid the same will happen to me. I feel like I'm not losing weight fast enough or I am not tone enough. I also have a history of an ED and am currently seeking a counselor to help ease my fears so that I am able to become proud of myself for my accomplishments.
  • silvergurl518
    silvergurl518 Posts: 4,123 Member
    i sincerely applaud you for having the courage to tell us that you're unhappy even after far surpassing your goal weight. what someone said about adjusting to your new body like you would a haircut is very true. however, i don't know your frame or height....but i believe you're skating on thin ice, and it would be helpful to see a counselor to resolve some of your issues. the last thing you'd want is to become unhealthy and weak. please get help if you're still unhappy, because you look great, and in my eyes, you could stand to actually gain some....

    /soapbox
  • crozierb
    crozierb Posts: 61 Member
    I have also been here before, and I know that it can seem like the number on the scale you once saw (when you were way too thin) can seem like it was your will power at it's best- but it helps to think of your body in overall health terms rather than a number.

    For example when I was way underweight but very "health-conscious" my doctor had me get a bone scan, and as she predicted I was not getting enough calcium in my diet and my lower than normal spine density was showing it! Not good! If you track things like getting enough protien, calcium, and iron to really fuel your body, that can help you focus on overall health rather than getting any lower on the scale.
    Another thing I found helps self esteem and being proud of all that hard work is putting it into something competitive. Maybe if you signed up for a road race, bike race, or other physical competition (i do broomball in the winter) it would be validation of just how awesome your body is! Hope this helps, go easy on yourself :)
  • Lmaxwell
    Lmaxwell Posts: 42 Member
    Aside from getting counseling, my only suggestion is to seperate your head & your body. Take pics of yourself & replace your face with someone else. Look at yourself in the mirror from the neck down. Maybe you'll appreciate your body when you see it on someone else.
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