Whats your routine? Put yourself first? The kids first?

judkinsjenny
judkinsjenny Posts: 220
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
What do you all do for your daily routine? I have three kids, DD10, DS2, and DD 5 months. I get up in the morning and put myself last first. So by the time husband is home, I still have not had a shower. I look like crap. Again. The kids are taken care of, but not me. Ever. I'd like to be like a T.V. mom (or like my ex-husband's wife) who gets up and looks great and does it all too. Her laundry is always done her shopping is always done, she always looks great. So does she get herself ready first? I need to exercise everyday so that has to come before the bath. So that means we have to all go out and go for a walk, than come back and get bathed, but the kids are hungry and me too, so we eat, well then theres a mess to clean, then theres the house to clean, then there lunch, and so now its 12:19 and im still not showered or dressed. the baby is asleep so shes not dressed or bathed. The two year old is bathed and ready for a nap. so now i can't shower or he won't nap. So now what? when do you all shower? How do you juggle it all?

Replies

  • McKayMachina
    McKayMachina Posts: 2,670 Member
    I don't have kids. I have two dogs and they are more than I can handle.

    It's the ME show.
  • adjones5
    adjones5 Posts: 938 Member
    I have no kids, no significant other, and no pets. Best idea I've ever had.
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    I am sure it is tough when you have kids that young; I have none. But I do remember my mom always waking up before us and taking a shower and cleaning her room, then she was ready for her day and ours. She usually ate breakfast with us and did everything with us instead of us first and her last. But once again, your kids are very young so I am not sure.
  • A_New_Horizon
    A_New_Horizon Posts: 1,555 Member
    First of all, breathe. It isn't easy having kids (I know I am a single mother of 2 babies - 2.5 and 16 mo). Plus, I work full-time on top of that. Make sure to make time for yourself - it is important for your own sanity. I work Mon thru Fri (9 to 5) then I have to feed my babies and myself - they are in bed by 8 at the latest then I do my workout. It is either going for a walk while my mom listens for them, running (when it doesn't get dark early), or doing a dvd at home (usually Jillian). Believe me, it isn't easy juggling everything, but appearance isn't everything - believe me I know. I don't do my hair and I don't put makeup on except for special occasions. BUT my boyfriend accepts me the way I am - my ex didn't (hence why he is an ex). My kids come first, but I always give myself "me time" or I drive myself nuts. It is important - take time for yourself even if it is only 15 mins.
  • melaniecheeks
    melaniecheeks Posts: 6,349 Member
    When they're that young it IS difficult to find time fro yourself. But it will get easier as they get older and are off to school (my 2 are now 20 and 18 - and those years fly by!)
  • aimelee
    aimelee Posts: 216 Member
    haha, well, i do have kids (2yo son). and pets. and a full time job. and a husband. so i know how you feel. on days i work my schedule is wake up and get myself ready before my son is up, hubby gets him ready while i walk the dog, drive son to daycare, drive to work, work all day, come home, make dinner, feed son, bathe son, put son to bed, do my workout, have 1 hour to myself and go to bed. My hubby works on weekends, so i have to get up super early before my son so i can shower before he is up, or i will never do it all day until his nap. that way we can run our errands or do whatever needs to be done, and i can try to squeeze in a workout (or the million chores that dont get done during the week) during his nap. its tough, i know. No idea how i'm going to do it when we have another. sigh.

    good luck!!!
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
    I usually shower 2x a day when I work out....I refuse to leave the house all greasy. SOOOOOO....when we wake up I get in the shower and oldest (6) gets dressed and "watches" baby (10months) I get a 2 minute shower....get dressed, pit stick, vitamins, brush teeth in shower to save time.....comb hair and slap on mascara so I don't look dead.....change baby and wipe her down so she does'nt smell like pee and dress her.....we head out to drop kid off at school then come home and do breakfast, oldest grabs something quick before we leave ( granola bar, fruit, string cheese) then when baby FINALLY lays down for an hour( if I am lucky) then I do laundry and tidy up. Sometimes I may get my 25-30minute workout dvd in then shower again but normally I have to work out at night after kids go to bed. Your kids come first but you still must have time for yourself!! You will get into a routine that will work for you, Jenny!!
  • icandoitgood
    icandoitgood Posts: 13
    I wish I could be like those moms on tv! I do put myself first though, I wake up in the morning before my two year old wakes up so I can get myself ready for the day. I am a stary at home mom and taking college classes online full time. It is hard to juggle motherhood, being a wife and I deal with school. but it is possible, I often find myself taking a couple breaks throughout the week whether its just a simple cup of hot cocoa outside on my doorstep while my husband watches my little girl. I have noticed when I take time for myself first in the morning, I am more relaxed and happier as a mom when I go to get my little one out of bed in the morning.
  • megz4987
    megz4987 Posts: 1,008 Member
    I have a 7 month old.
    Get up in the morning, feed her, bathe her, I eat, play with her, put her down for a nap and cross my fingers she stays down for 2hrs. Clean up, exercise (if she stayed asleep), she wakes up she eats, I eat, clean up, play. Nap time... I clean the house, she wakes up, eats, plays, bed at 7:30. Then I shower.

    That's on the days we don't go to my fiancés where we leave after her first nap in which case I clean the house and don't get the time to exercise unless we all go for a walk.
  • kaits108
    kaits108 Posts: 305 Member
    I only have one child so I have NO clue how you do it with three LOL! BUT, I'll take my son to the gym with me, and he plays in the child care area, and LOVES it. Or we'll go on a walk or whatever. He's at the age now where he can play in my room while I shower in the bathroom attached to my room. I just shut the door to the hallway so he doesn't go out there. When he was younger, I'd bring his toys in the bathroom with me and he's play in there while I showered. Can your 10 year old keep an eye on the little ones while you shower? Why won't the 2 year old nap? Does he only nap when you nap with him? Nap time is the BEST time to get chores done I've found :)

    Otherwise, you might have to get up earlier and exercise before they wake up, or stay up a bit later and get your stuff done once they go to bed. I think at 10 your daughter could help with the laundry, and house cleaning chores. Or watch the kids while you do that stuff in the afternoon. Can you schedule out your day the night before, and try not to overwhelm yourself by trying to do EVERYTHING in one day. Good luck, I know it's a constant give and take when trying to be the best parent you can be, but also making sure not to forget about yourself in the process :)
  • EmilyV80
    EmilyV80 Posts: 60 Member
    When my youngest was as young as your youngest, I would usually work out at night after the kids are in bed. I'm not saying that I was like your ex's wife though. Ha. It is just usually the house work that suffers. Now that my two are a little older, I will sometimes workout while they play and shower while my youngest naps and my oldest plays in the other room.
  • mrsmotherof3
    mrsmotherof3 Posts: 14 Member
    I beleive everything is equally important. I have 3 children and they are young. I work full time, and I am a wife. However, nothing gives me more pleasure than taking care of everyone including myself in a day.

    In order to balance, I have to be prepared for the day. I cook healthy meals on weekends and freeze them for our busy week. When its time for me to workout whichis after dinner, I make sure the children have something constructive to do or they kinda are just in the area with me- soe times they participate.

    I beleive it is important for them to see me exercise and participate so they will grow and do the same!!!
  • kristen11joy
    kristen11joy Posts: 114 Member
    I never got ANYTHING done when my kids were as little as yours! If it's any comfort, it does get easier. I used to put the baby in the exersaucer outside the shower door just to fit that in. I always bathed the kids at night, and I lay out their clothes once they are old enough to dress themselves (or even just to avoid decision-making in the morning! I'm not a morning person) Two is a hard age: big enough to get into all kinds of trouble, and not old enough to know better! When my oldest two were this age I joined a gym that had childcare, and showered there after my workout. A friend of mine was able to hire a teenager to come in the morning before school for an hour (for her, it was becasue she worked nights and her husband worked days) Maybe something like that would help?
  • darsh11
    darsh11 Posts: 98
    When I started this journey I decided that I had to put myself first. I felt really guilty at first, but then I realized that if I don't make time for myself I will never get to where I want to be. My routine is I get up at 4:30 in the morning and go to the gym. I claim that until 6:00 am Mom does not exist and that I get to do what I need to do. At 6:00 am I make lunches for my husband and son and get my 4 year old dressed and ready to go so that my husband can drop her off at pre-K on his way to work. I then log into work myself and get my son down to the bus stop. I come home take a quick shower and work 7-4. At 4:00 my mom duties start again with swim team, gymnastics, and other activites. I come home make dinner, get the kids bathed and ready for bed and then crash at 9:30 or so. I have great admiration for stay at home Moms because juggling 3 kids and trying to find time to do everything is nearly impossible. Especially when one of the three kids is under 1.
  • lijparsons
    lijparsons Posts: 258
    Man, I can totally relate. When my two kids were small and I was home on maternity leave, my days were much the same as yours sound. In hindsight, I now see that I could have made it work, if only I had made it a priority. My suggestion is, get up in the morning, get breakfast for everyone, see your 10 yr old off to school, and immediately get the little ones out in the stroller for a walk. Take some snacks for the kiddos if you need to in order to maximize the amount of time you can spend out there before anyone "needs" something. Even pack a diaper bag so you can do a quick change if need be. Once this walk is out of the way, you can worry about all the other things, like cleaning the house, and making lunch....and you'll have a lot more energy to do it too.

    I often put my little ones in the bouncy chair or jumperoo right in the bathroom with me while I took a shower, so I could see them and knew they were safe. I couldn't shower while my son was napping (who am I kidding, the kid didn't nap), because it woke him up every time.

    I truly wish I had done this back then, but didn't, and feel like I wasted 6 years being fat and unhappy, and tired all the time. Don't let that happen to you! Good luck to you! :flowerforyou:
  • Sonchie
    Sonchie Posts: 259 Member
    When mine were little I'd get dressed before I got them up, but mine are 7 years apart so they were small at different times and it wasnt too bad. They are 13 and 20 now, so they dont require my undivided attention anymore.


    Now, I get up, dress in gym clothes and a hat since I know a workout will come sometimes during the day.. I usually wear that until I shower at night. The only days I actually get dressed and do my hair and makeup are weekends!

    In my life, its God first, others, then myself.

    It helps that I try to buy matching gym clothes and hats. Its acceptable attire for regular errands...and people actually tell me I look cute. (maybe they're just being nice). LOL
    Your day will come.
  • PlanetVelma
    PlanetVelma Posts: 1,223 Member
    I was a single parent before I met my current fiance...trying to find ME time is tough! You just gotta find a routine that works for you. I've always been really big on keeping my kids schedule oriented, granted they are older now but they still know that at 8pm it's time to shower and get ready for bed.

    I have always got up before my kids, I am showered and dressed before my daughter is up. Talk to your husband and see what he can do to help you out, whether it's watching the kids in the evenings or dropping your daughter off on his way to work.

    You just gotta figure out what works best for YOU!

    At the bare minimum, get up a bit earlier and take YOUR shower first. If you are able to squeeze in a workout before the kids get up, or get a walk in during the day great, but don't kill yourself trying to be perfect.

    It'll all fall into place, just find your "groove". :)
  • aclark6818
    aclark6818 Posts: 209 Member
    I have 2 kids, LOTS of pets, a husband and a full time job. It's very difficult to juggle all of it. I usually put the family first--I'm lucky that my children are older and that my husband often does some of the cooking. As a mom, I usually come last and most of the time it stinks. Good Luck & Keep trying.
    :flowerforyou:
  • JoAnn73
    JoAnn73 Posts: 161 Member
    I have four kids, had them all by the age 24 and with the help of God took care of them by myself( including a set of boy girl twins that are 15 months apart from my oldest boy) and let me tell you they have always come first. But know that they are older its time for JOANN. They can cook, clean, wash their own clothes Yea ITS ALL ABOUT ME FOR A CHANGE!!
  • judkinsjenny
    judkinsjenny Posts: 220
    LMAO awesome!
  • lobster888
    lobster888 Posts: 861 Member
    Everyone is making wonderful suggestions. I hope you can find one that is right for you. I found that I had to be very organized and dedicated. I would get up early or stay up late to get things done. I did help a freind of mine with three kids and we actually set up a schedule for her. It works pretty good most days. There are alwasy going to be "those days" when nothing gets done. Hope you find a good balance.

    Good luck.
  • KatFierce
    KatFierce Posts: 252 Member
    I have a DS 2 yrs and DS 1 month, I wake up,get DS2 out of his room and into mine, get myself dressed, get DS2 dressed , head downstairs, get DS1month dressed . Then I turn on a show and get DS2 yrs some breakfast, sit down to nurse the baby.
    Then I brush my teeth,wash face etc. while the coffee is brewing and DS2 is eating.
    Then we play toys, while I have my coffee and instant oatmeal.
    Then DS2 has free play time while I tidy up a bit, and nurse the baby as he needs. We get ready and take a walk , come home for snack time. Then DS2 goes down for nap, I have a salad or something and nurse DS1month, then pop in an excercise dvd or hop on the treadmill while the baby sleeps in the pack and play or goes in his swing.
    I then shower if DS2 isnt up yet and pick up the house alittle. Then its lunch for DS2 while I figure out dinner. Then its outisde play time or a project or we bake something.
    Then I put a show on for DS2 and cook dinner while he watches and plays. We eat and then I give him a tubby(every other day as he has sensitive skin) and get him ready for bed. Once hes in bed I pick up a bit and then pop in a yoga dvd and after that I relzx with the baby. DS1month nurses on demand so thats probably the biggest obstacle to my workouts.
    I steal a few mins here and there to quickly do makeup or change my outfit, before DH comes home.
    Hope this helps. Kiddos always come first but if they are occupied I steal a few minutes for me
  • EpiGaiaRepens
    EpiGaiaRepens Posts: 824 Member
    i think it's possible to make time be both theirs and yours.... like playing with kids at the park *is* getting a work out in. Teaching them to help out in the kitchen *is* play for them if you make it fun.... too often we make it a false dichotomy in our own minds that we have to choose....

    and sometimes we do have to choose...So when you need a shower, plop them down with a tv show! I think that when mothers put themselves last, they teach their children, especially their daughters, to put themselves last. We don't want our children to grow up thinking everyone is more important than them (or alternatively that they are more important than everyone else). I think good parenting is showing them that mom takes care of herself too.
  • AlsDonkBoxSquat
    AlsDonkBoxSquat Posts: 6,128 Member
    I wake up way before my 2 yo and exercise when I exercise in the morning. He's always fed and cared for before I care and feed myself (but "care" include the use of day care, child watch at the gym, and babysitters when necessary to get a work out in), but that's mainly because I like to sit with him while he eats and then eat at my own pace in the peace and quiet after he goes to bed at night.
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