Ok my MFP peeps, I really need your help...
cappydos
Posts: 24 Member
So, I have been on MFP for about 5 months now. One of my favorite things about it is reading the posts that people write because they get so much support from the community and this support has been infectious enough for me that I have almost felt like I was getting the support to, so I have never felt the need to write a post looking for support for myself....until now.
I'll try to make a long story short--The first three months of getting back into the habit of a healthy lifestyle were fairly easy. Don't get me wrong, getting the motivation to work out 6 days a week and eat within a 1200-1500 calorie budget was never really "easy", but my motivation and determination were so high during those first few months that, looking back on it now compared to what I am currently struggling through, it was "easy."
So here's the deal now. About four months into my weight loss journey (just over a month ago) I started to get a bit more liberal with my food choices. This was ok, since I was only eating over my calories once or twice a week and I was still exercising regularly. Well, then it spiraled from there. Each week since I let myself splurge a bit for the first time, has gotten exponentially worse. I have gone from eating right everyday and working out 5-6 times a week, to binging (and when I say "binge", I mean going over my calories by at least a couple thousand
) everyday and not working out at all. I'm very frustrated with myself, especially since even when I find myself sitting on my couch with an ice cream bar and a bag of chips (or a Wendy's burger and fries, taco bell, cookies, etc, etc.) there's a voice in my head that is asking "what the hell are you doing?! You have worked so hard and now you're eating like this? You're going to ruin all the progress you've made!" But, even with that little voice in my head questioning every bite I take, I can't seem to make myself stop. Then, the guilt from binging and the subsequent feeling of "fatness" that inevitably comes after eating so much food, makes me feel horrible, and I find myself turning to--you guessed it--more food to make myself feel better. It's a vicious little cycle and it's this same cycle that got me to my highest weight.
It took me a long time to work my way out of the unhealthy lifestyle that got me to my obese weight, but it seems like it has only taken me a few short weeks to fall back into the same habits. I'm just getting really worried that I'm not going to be able to get back on track and actually realize my goal of getting down to a healthy 124 lbs (I started at 194 and got down to 157 a few weeks ago, but with the way I've been eating lately, I am most likely up a few lbs from there). I feel like hitting the halfway mark should have made me even more motivated, but it's the complete opposite and I just can't figure out why!
I would really love any kind of support, advice, suggestions for how other people have overcome bumps in the road like this. I didn't work this hard to give up now. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!
I'll try to make a long story short--The first three months of getting back into the habit of a healthy lifestyle were fairly easy. Don't get me wrong, getting the motivation to work out 6 days a week and eat within a 1200-1500 calorie budget was never really "easy", but my motivation and determination were so high during those first few months that, looking back on it now compared to what I am currently struggling through, it was "easy."
So here's the deal now. About four months into my weight loss journey (just over a month ago) I started to get a bit more liberal with my food choices. This was ok, since I was only eating over my calories once or twice a week and I was still exercising regularly. Well, then it spiraled from there. Each week since I let myself splurge a bit for the first time, has gotten exponentially worse. I have gone from eating right everyday and working out 5-6 times a week, to binging (and when I say "binge", I mean going over my calories by at least a couple thousand
) everyday and not working out at all. I'm very frustrated with myself, especially since even when I find myself sitting on my couch with an ice cream bar and a bag of chips (or a Wendy's burger and fries, taco bell, cookies, etc, etc.) there's a voice in my head that is asking "what the hell are you doing?! You have worked so hard and now you're eating like this? You're going to ruin all the progress you've made!" But, even with that little voice in my head questioning every bite I take, I can't seem to make myself stop. Then, the guilt from binging and the subsequent feeling of "fatness" that inevitably comes after eating so much food, makes me feel horrible, and I find myself turning to--you guessed it--more food to make myself feel better. It's a vicious little cycle and it's this same cycle that got me to my highest weight.It took me a long time to work my way out of the unhealthy lifestyle that got me to my obese weight, but it seems like it has only taken me a few short weeks to fall back into the same habits. I'm just getting really worried that I'm not going to be able to get back on track and actually realize my goal of getting down to a healthy 124 lbs (I started at 194 and got down to 157 a few weeks ago, but with the way I've been eating lately, I am most likely up a few lbs from there). I feel like hitting the halfway mark should have made me even more motivated, but it's the complete opposite and I just can't figure out why!
I would really love any kind of support, advice, suggestions for how other people have overcome bumps in the road like this. I didn't work this hard to give up now. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!
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Replies
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Hi- We have something in common... the bingeing... I'm sending you a message
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I think we all go through times like you have expressed, I'm still trying to figure it out as well why we sabbotage ourselves especially when we have succeeded, and struggled so much to lose the little headway that we've made. I do know that when you eat sugar and fat, the more sugar and fat you want to eat. My suggestion is to get off the foods that make you want to eat more of them, ice cream, candy, pastry, etc. When you want to eat them more and more it's because your body can't handle them so stay off it for awhile. Just a suggestion, but you are woth it, and that ice cream is not!0
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I think every single one of us can say that we were super motivated at the beginning and as we started to see success? Well, we got kinda lazy. We started thinking "It's okay if I don't workout today or if I go ahead and eat 2 servings of ice cream! Look how far I've come!".
The only one who can stop it is - YOU. I can give you encouragement, I can give you a virtual kick in the *kitten*, but really... at the end of the day -- YOU are the only one who can refuse the Wendy's, ice cream sandwich, etc. YOU. You are in control of this journey - NOT the food. Stop allowing the food to have control.
You've done a great job losing the weight and I know you can lose the rest - so, shake off the binge habits and get back on the wagon.
One thing that really did help me? Finding clothes that were "goal clothes". I had a dress my sister gave me and I was determined to fit in it. In August of 2010, I was finally able to wear it.
Good Luck.0 -
I read a really interesting blog about this a while ago. Here it is http://youarenotsosmart.com/2010/07/07/extinction-burst/
Read the first few paragraphs and I think you'll see exactly what you just described.
It's a bit long, but the summary is:
"The Misconception: If you stop engaging in a bad habit, the habit will gradually diminish until it disappears from your life.
The Truth: Any time you quit something cold turkey, your brain will make a last-ditch effort to return you to your habit."
and another bit quoted right from that same post:
"You eliminate a reward from your life: awesome and delicious high-calorie foods. Right as you are ready to give it up forever, an extinction burst threatens to demolish your willpower.
You become like a two-year-old in a conniption fit, and like the child, if you give in to the demands, the behavior will be strengthened.
Compulsive overeating is a frenzied state of mind, food addiction under pressure until it bursts.
Diets fail for many reasons, much of them associated with your body trying to survive in a situation where surviving starvation is much less of an issue.
To give up overeating, or smoking, or gambling, or “World of Warcraft,” or any bad habit which was formed through conditioning, you must be prepared to weather the secret weapon of your unconscious – the extinction burst.
Become your own Supernanny, your own Dog Whisperer. Look for alternative rewards and positive reinforcement. Set goals, and when you achieve them, shower yourself with garlands of your choosing.
Don’t freak out when it turns out to be difficult. Habits form because you are not so smart, and they cease under the same conditions."
It's a great blog, and worth a read to help you get through this tough spot. Good luck!0 -
I think that is normal to do that after working so hard. Sometimes I get a little food lazy, but then guess what? I was at the mall, saw someone who weighed what I did earlier this year (280), and I remembered the awful way I felt and the despair inside. My brain sobered up right away! Do you have older pics of you that you can put up to remind yourself of what you do not want to feel like again? Or maybe an inspiring message that you can hang up somewhere? I am embarrassed to say this, but there is this super motivational sign on the front door of my gym. When I see it, it fills me with hope and I work out really hard.0
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I had a massive bowl of milo cereal last night. It was awesome.0
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I know how you feel (I've been in a slump recently too, after being pretty motivated the past few months) - it's definitely tough! The thing I try to remind myself of is to try not to get caught in a guilt cycle; for me, it never helps anything. I suppose for the right person guilt could BE the motivator, but with me it just encourages a sense of self-pity/indulgence/hopelessness. Instead, I try to roll with the punches and take it a day at a time, and remember that this is a lifestyle change! Years from now, I'm sure you'll look back and there will have been bad days, good days, bad weeks, good weeks, bad months and good months and so on - but as long as you stay focused on being healthy, I can't help but feel it'll all come out in the wash!0
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It sounds like you are at a level of binge eating that qualifies as an eating disorder, and counseling would be very helpful and appropriate. Food is the hardest addiction to deal with because you CAN'T walk away from it like you can drugs or alcohol. Imagine an alcoholic trying to stay clean and sober while REQUIRED to consume 2 beers a day.0
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So, I have been on MFP for about 5 months now. One of my favorite things about it is reading the posts that people write because they get so much support from the community and this support has been infectious enough for me that I have almost felt like I was getting the support to, so I have never felt the need to write a post looking for support for myself....until now.
I'll try to make a long story short--The first three months of getting back into the habit of a healthy lifestyle were fairly easy. Don't get me wrong, getting the motivation to work out 6 days a week and eat within a 1200-1500 calorie budget was never really "easy", but my motivation and determination were so high during those first few months that, looking back on it now compared to what I am currently struggling through, it was "easy."
So here's the deal now. About four months into my weight loss journey (just over a month ago) I started to get a bit more liberal with my food choices. This was ok, since I was only eating over my calories once or twice a week and I was still exercising regularly. Well, then it spiraled from there. Each week since I let myself splurge a bit for the first time, has gotten exponentially worse. I have gone from eating right everyday and working out 5-6 times a week, to binging (and when I say "binge", I mean going over my calories by at least a couple thousand ) everyday and not working out at all. I'm very frustrated with myself, especially since even when I find myself sitting on my couch with an ice cream bar and a bag of chips (or a Wendy's burger and fries, taco bell, cookies, etc, etc.) there's a voice in my head that is asking "what the hell are you doing?! You have worked so hard and now you're eating like this? You're going to ruin all the progress you've made!" But, even with that little voice in my head questioning every bite I take, I can't seem to make myself stop. Then, the guilt from binging and the subsequent feeling of "fatness" that inevitably comes after eating so much food, makes me feel horrible, and I find myself turning to--you guessed it--more food to make myself feel better. It's a vicious little cycle and it's this same cycle that got me to my highest weight.
It took me a long time to work my way out of the unhealthy lifestyle that got me to my obese weight, but it seems like it has only taken me a few short weeks to fall back into the same habits. I'm just getting really worried that I'm not going to be able to get back on track and actually realize my goal of getting down to a healthy 124 lbs (I started at 194 and got down to 157 a few weeks ago, but with the way I've been eating lately, I am most likely up a few lbs from there). I feel like hitting the halfway mark should have made me even more motivated, but it's the complete opposite and I just can't figure out why!
I would really love any kind of support, advice, suggestions for how other people have overcome bumps in the road like this. I didn't work this hard to give up now. Any input would be greatly appreciated!!
Based on your post, I think you just got complacent - at the beginning you knew you had to change something right away!! and you did -and when you got to somewhere that wasn't so bad, you lost that fiery determination. meh- it happens to most of us. What can really make a difference, set you apart from the masses is what you do from this point forward!!!
Make some obtainable daily goals like xyz number of calories a day, or exercising for xyz number of days and then really stick to it. Make a calendar and color it up
Only set goals of things that you can control. (no pounds, no inches, those are just benefits reaped)
Good luck!!0 -
Ooh, sounds like you're getting into a bad place. I suggest you urgently undertake some soul searching - either alone with a pad and pen or with a close friend or even a counsellor.
Why are you acting this way? What is pushing you towards this behaviour, what is your motivation to be healthy and eat well?
What can you do to comfort yourself that doesn't involve food? Or can you just be unhappy for a bit? (That's what I'm having to do as I've mostly stopped comfort eating. I'm a bit sadder, but the world isn't ending).
It sounds to me like you've got some strong feelings pushing you back towards being heavier. Do you feel safer/ more comfortable heavier? How's your self esteem? Your stress levels? Are you getting enough nurture from others?
Good luck with your journey and remember not to ever beat yourself up! Getting down on yourself just encourages the behaviour you'd like to change.0 -
I looked at your food diary and it doesn't look like you're logging consistently anymore. I think even if you're not eating right, not exercise, just start logging again (EVERYTHING, no "quick calories") and naturally you will start being more careful, it might take a few days or more but it will come back. Just try it! I started to slow down the last couple of weeks and gained a few pounds, but kept logging, and it made me start to be careful again, just by seeing it in my diary. Good luck, you definitely can do it!0
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I totaly understand, a few years ago I hired a life coach and went from 170 lbs down to 149 lbs, I was realy feeling good about my self and my progress, some how meeting up with a new friend who was an amazing cook and a trip to Disney World put me on an eating binge also. It did not take long for me to be right back to square one. The good thing is that you realize what your doing and your asking for support. Stop it !!! Just stop the binge and start over in your present moment and try to find your way back to healthy choices again. I think every one does go through rough spots at some point especialy if you've been doing this for a few months. I know you can dust your self off and get back on the path of healthy heating and excercise. I wish you all tings good.0
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I will offer my opinion, but you may not like it. I have been where you are several times in my life, losing a great deal of weight and then putting it back on after all that hard work and almost watching myself passively eat the pounds back on. After therapy, I have learned that I have always approached losing weight as a competitive (with myself) process where I am able to deprive myself or push myself to lose as much weight as possible in as short a period of time for a while. But, it is not sustainable and I give up and go back to the bad habits and comforts in the foods I deprived myself of previously. Setting goals to lose 15 lbs by such and such date or event etc. and then failing or getting complacent with short term success has been my life long pattern. (I am twice your age with 3 teenagers and a full time job). What I have learned is that if I log everything I eat (1400 calories +/- a day), exercise (which doesn't always involve going to the gym - walking, gardening etc) regularly I lose about 1 to 1 1/2 pounds a week consistently. This is a much slower pace than I am used to, but I am finding less of an urge to binge because I am not depriving myself and, if I do overeat, I can get back into control in a couple of days. Having faith that I can get back on track and that the pace at which I am losing is sustainable is hard sometimes, but it is working.
I got on MFP tonight because it has been one of those weeks where I have not exercised much or logged all my food and I was looking for a little encouragement. Your post reminded me of how far I have come with my own struggles and I have faith that tomorrow, I will weigh myself, be honest with where I am and move on to log everything I eat and exercise.
I think if you give yourself permission to take your weight loss journey more slowly and not be so focused on losing X by Y date, you will find the process more sustainable and you will be able to make more permanent changes in your lifestyle.
Good luck.0 -
Wow, you guys are all so amazing. Thank you so much for your thoughts and encouragement. You have no idea how much I needed the support and some of you have definitely given me important things to think about. Thank you again!0
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Thank you so much for being transparent and sharing your struggle. I have been struggling with stopping the binge eating just as you described. Reading what others had to share really helped me STOP this behavior this evening. Rather than eating, I am having a cup of tea and will try to get to bed at a decent time.0
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