Is anyone else resentful?

Shannonigans84
Shannonigans84 Posts: 693 Member
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
I have many friends who eat whatever they want, rarely exercise, and stay thin. Then there's me, struggling to keep off the 30 pounds that will creep in if I don't focus. Sometimes I let that resentment take over and I stop trying, which leads to yo-yo'ing. I shouldn't have to work harder than everyone else! Are these feelings normal? What do you do to accept this is the way it is?

Replies

  • nekosimba
    nekosimba Posts: 239 Member
    I totally understand where you are coming from. My boyfriend is a snack-a-holic and can eat whatever he wants. He's got a bit of a belly, but not as big as I would have if I ate as much as he did. He sometimes has to get up in the middle of the night to have a sandwich because he is hungry.

    Then I have a friend and co-worker who can't keep weight on. She's 90lbs soaking wet and has to eat all the time.

    It's very frustrating and it's hard not to be resentful. I just have to accept that's not the way my body works. I have to try harder than everyone else.
  • TXBlockhead
    TXBlockhead Posts: 169 Member
    You know, just because they are thin doesn't mean that they are healthy. If you are eating right and working out then you might be healthier than they are.
  • kassied09
    kassied09 Posts: 397
    Unfortunately, yes. Both my closest friend and boyfriend are lucky enough to be able to eat what they want and do nothing and stay thin. A few other in my life are the same way. I am constantly trying not to- but it is so difficult. Going out to eat with them all eating chicken tenders and fries and I am eating a salad and working it off afterwards. They try to be supportive, but I feel like whatever they say I get a bit offended by almost. I just think that they don't know how it feels to have to work so hard at something. They have never had this problem, they just get to stay thin. Ugh.
  • Pandorian
    Pandorian Posts: 2,055 Member
    My brother is like that, he eats basically nothing but junk and stays rail thin.... but when we go on a walk even though I'm carrying around these extra pounds I've got almost limitless stamina compared to him, I can hike circles around him, go much farther before breaks etc. He may be thin but he's far from healthy
  • TerraGirl17
    TerraGirl17 Posts: 275 Member
    I know how you feel I am the same way, my husband gets 2500 cals before exercise and he is ALWAYS eating and I struggle daily to stay within my 1400 cals
  • timadotcom
    timadotcom Posts: 653 Member
    All of my cousins are like, they eat whatever they want and don't gain weight. In fact, if they skip a meal they complain about their weight dropping and here I am I can't loose 2 lbs for the life of me!!
  • piexcore
    piexcore Posts: 85 Member
    Uh, I am totally resentful of my sister and my dad, who do NOTHING and eat EVERYTHING and are still thin. Then there's my mom and I- the chubby gym rats, and now that shes gone through "the change" she is forced to subsist on basically yogurt and air. Such is genetics.

    Of course then there are the friends that you THINK are naturally thin and eat whatever they want- and then you figure out they're just way better at hiding the diet and exercise thing than you are.
  • lexximan
    lexximan Posts: 322 Member
    My best friend of 6 years is the same way, she has to try to GAIN weight. Come on. We all know you look great at 96lbs. Woah.
    Resentment yes. Her mother is the same way.

    I on the other hand have only gone down hill in the past 6 years haha
  • kklemencic
    kklemencic Posts: 45
    I always think, I am who I am and I love me the way I am. Just because someone can do all that doesn't make them healthy and we eat well and exercise to keep our bodies healthy. That is my goal to be a healthier me because i am important and the weight I have lost is icing on the cake so to speak. Anyway it will catch up to them someday, somehow but you will be ahead of the game by taking control of you and your health now.
  • JConstine
    JConstine Posts: 69
    I don't feel that way with weight, but I do with other things so I can understand where it comes from. I just try to perceive my struggles as something different...like something that I would be proud to conquer for myself. That way, other people's habits don't effect mine.
  • shaj316
    shaj316 Posts: 161
    Resentful is probably a stronger word than I was...maybe slightly bothered...but I realized three things. First, there are things I can do that they can't. All this means is everyone is different and we all can embrace our strengths and lament our weaknesses. Second, these guys are skinny but not really fit. Last, SOME of those a*holes were actually exercising a lot more than I thought (like it was some big secret!). :wink:

    Now that I'm on to them, ITS ON!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
    I get resentful, envious, jealous, and slightly mentally disturbed by thin people who eat what ever they like. If my friend Mary drops a couple of pounds her doctor reccomends she eats more cream cakes LOL I still love her though.

    Any hoo. I have found that thin people still have body issues, I haven't met a woman yet who says "Yep I think I am just about right". They all have bits of themseves they hate, so I comfort myself that they can be just as unhappy if not more unhappy than bigger people.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    Sometimes yes...but then I remember I can kick their @sses at pretty much anything fitness-related, and I feel better :laugh:
  • MinnieInMaine
    MinnieInMaine Posts: 6,400 Member
    I used to be, then I really started paying attention to how the skinnier people in my life ate and their activity levels. I realized that they might seem to eat really badly and get away with it but then I realized it was because most of the time when I saw them, it was when we were going out for a special occassion and they were treating themselves. Most of the time, they'd be eating very healthy foods and were pretty active so it all balanced out.

    Sure I have to be a little more active and a litle more careful than some other people do but that's life. Why be resentful and harbor all that negative energy over something you can't control? Plus, it's just as likely that one of them is envious of you for having bigger boobs or having good hair or whatever...
  • genxrider
    genxrider Posts: 107 Member
    Practice. It's tough. My metabolism has always been "starve for a week, lose a pound, smell a piece of pizza, gain 10".

    Let me once again say that that metabolism has never changed for my whole entire life, regardless of level of activity, diet, etc.

    So it's a real ***** that I'm battling not only things I do have control over, but a ton of stuff I don't have control over.

    So I practice not stressing out over it to much. Fake it 'til you make it, in other words. Good luck! You're not alone.
  • kleinbl00
    kleinbl00 Posts: 1
    Totally and completely. I have friends that can walk 10 minutes, stop eating donuts and lose 3 lbs a day. I ride a bicycle approximately 70 miles a week and run every other day or so and if I drink a beer, I gain two pounds. It's been like this my entire life; ridiculous amounts of exercise just to keep semi-flat have been a part of my life since I was a teenager, when I went from 230 to 130 in 4 months through a brutal application of exercise bulimia (and then stayed there for about 3 years).

    I once went to a doctor complaining of knee pain from running. The doctor, sensitively, said "well, according to your BMI you're obese. Try losing about 70 lbs" and walked off, leaving her aides sitting there gasping. The next time I saw her I brought the pedal I'd broken off the exercise bike at the gym and told her it was the 2nd one in three months and that I'd be perfectly happy to lose 70 lbs if she happened to have any suggestions. She transferred me to someone else's care.

    About two months ago, however, I finally talked to someone who suggested I should get my adrenal function checked. They ran a spit test and a blood test and came back with "not only are your cortisol levels high, they're the highest we've ever *seen.*" They then put me on some vitamins and minerals for adrenal support and the yo-yoing stopped *cold.*

    If you're pregnant, your hormone levels are all over the map. Not only that but "weight loss" and "growing a baby" are two big metabolic tasks that entangle in a very complicated way. You're undoubtedly dealing with all sorts of bizarre metabolic side effects from the little one and will continue to do so for several months after they're born. If you emphasize how important weight loss is to you to your doctor, they should be able to help you out at least a little. If nothing else, remember that stress keeps weight on, and worrying about weight increases stress.

    Good luck.
  • AngelikaLumiere
    AngelikaLumiere Posts: 862 Member
    Life is not fair. The people who expect it to be are doomed to be unhappy. The way I get over the fact that some people are able to graze through the day when I must carefully plan my itty-bitty meals, is: I remember that there are things that come naturally to me that other people struggle with. We all have things that we can do that we think of as no big deal, but other people admire and wish they could do. Comforting a crying baby, singing, writing, designing or making people laugh. I;m sure if you think about it there is something you can look at in your life...
  • LaComadreja14
    LaComadreja14 Posts: 277 Member
    Eat small portions of the items you want. Forget other people. One of the biggest problems (imo, anyway) is that we are constantly comparing ourselves to others, believe me it willl catch up to them.
  • Shannonigans84
    Shannonigans84 Posts: 693 Member
    I'm glad I'm not alone! I'm slowly accepting it because I know I'm doing the right thing, but I can't help but think sometimes how it's not fair. It's harder for me having a boyfriend who eats whatever, and still is fit and lean with no other exercise then what he gets at work. I'm getting there :smile:
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
    You know, just because they are thin doesn't mean that they are healthy. If you are eating right and working out then you might be healthier than they are.

    agree^^
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