Divorce and weight loss...

MistyJ2011
MistyJ2011 Posts: 13
edited October 3 in Motivation and Support
Just wanted to maybe hear from some who have recenlty or may be going through a divorce along with the journey of weight loss. It is very hard some days to keep focus when you're going through a sad phase. Each day definitly gets better but just wanted to hear positive outcomes from any who may have already been there and came out of it with the sunshining bright and still having success. I have been separated since July and my divorce is finalized this month so this month seems most sad since it is finally ending but I should be really happy since he was a lying, cheating scum bag! Thanks to all, hope everyone is having a blessed day.

Replies

  • ayellvee
    ayellvee Posts: 1
    Good luck!

    Sidenote: do you have kids? I'm shocked that your divorce is finalized so quickly!
  • Jennypins
    Jennypins Posts: 90 Member
    I got divorced almost 10 years ago. Wow. I feel WAY too young to be divorced for 10 years!!

    It does suck - even if he was a scumbag. No one feels good while they're going through a divorce. I can't really comment on the weight loss/gain during divorce - mine happened different. I gained it all before, and lost it all after. I think I lost the weight when I realized I lost the sadness of being in a lonely relationship. I decided it was time to be happy again, and in order to do that I needed to like how I looked. I lost 30 lbs back then doing Weight Watchers.

    It found me again, though. No big deal. I'll lose it.

    I just wanted to tell you to hang in there. It does get better in time. It does. There is no other way for it to happen. You get out of bed, breathe, take care of yourself and your daughter, and everything else falls into place.

    Hugs to you. You're beautiful, strong, and sweet. You deserve to be happy.
  • Jconner30
    Jconner30 Posts: 311
    Hahaha, I lost 600 pounds since I walked out the door - and that was just her *kitten* !!!
  • Jconner30
    Jconner30 Posts: 311
    Dont know why it posted this twice...
  • Jennypins
    Jennypins Posts: 90 Member
    Oh - I assumed that the profile pic is you and your daughter. If I'm wrong, I'm sorry!
  • auntied
    auntied Posts: 113 Member
    I've been there and then sum. Remember you are not alone. This is not a race to see who can lose the most the fastest. It's a live style change. If you have a good day or bad day it doesn't matter. Find the strength that's within you and those around you. Be grateful for what you DO have right now at this moment. You are NEVER ALONE! God Bless. d
  • sixxbaby
    sixxbaby Posts: 543
    The day I decided to change my lifestyle of unhealthy eating was the same day I asked my husband to move out, that was over 18 months ago. I started this journey with the intention of losing weight so that our marriage would get better and he would "want" me again, well that was a ridiculous thing to think he loved me for who I was and hated me for who I was NOT my weight. Anyway though it was a good motivation to kick start my weight loss.

    Well here I am 18 months later, 85 pounds lighter, happier than ever. On the other hand my husband got his third DUI, went to rehab for 90 days, is currently living in sober living and has one year sober on the 19th. We get along better than ever, and our number one priority is our children. So all resentment, anger and pettiness is in the past. Are we going to rekindle our marriage and live happily ever after?? Nope don't think so, but we are in a good place mentally and physically....

    So in response to your post, I have my good days and my bad, but life always gets better if you want it to.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    Hahaha, I lost 600 pounds since I walked out the door - and that was just her *kitten* !!!

    Ok ... that made me laugh out loud.
  • Sam22pope
    Sam22pope Posts: 4 Member
    I understand the feeling. I filed in November of last year and just got it over with except for the property. I am was planning to give u the advise that it gets easier each day but i think that will be the lamest advise to give u. For myself, I i gained weight thru this process due to am emotional eater, and like u it sounds like we have been married to relatives. lol BUT, i noticed if i get mad at something he did, i seem to walk longer or zumba little longer. The anger phase is helping me not to cry and eat my house down. Once, i forgave him for his behavior, i can stay focused little longer but i admitt i am really struggling espec. w/ holiday knkocking at my door. I just tell myself, that God will never put more on my shoulder than I can handle and that he has a plan for me, just might be taking longer than I want it to. Good luck, i truely know the pain and comfort you have lost but BE PROUD OF YOURSELF FOR TAKING YOURSELF BACK<even if you feel like ur heart being ripped out. WE ARE WORTH IT! GOOD LUCK
  • Kaimana94
    Kaimana94 Posts: 165 Member
    Well from the guys side and no I didn't cheat or anything like that. I started myfitnesspal the day I moved out (12 Aug 2011) and have lost 25 pounds. I'm hoping to lose another 20 pounds and this would put me in the top part of a healthy BMI.

    You are not lone and if you truely want it you can do it. I know this is a lonely time right now, but I have been told that will change. Good luck.

    Check out Southernsister's blog if you want to see someone that has truely come thru a divorce on top. http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/350547-my-story-at-a-second-chance-at-life-photos
  • jend114
    jend114 Posts: 1,058 Member
    I've lost 30 lbs since learning my ex wanted a divorce. You just have to take each day, one at a time. If you want someone to talk to, I'm here feel free to message me. I know what your going through and it sucks but you'll get through it stronger than ever.
  • momof8munchkins
    momof8munchkins Posts: 1,167 Member
    I am so sorry you are going through this.. divorce is hard, even when you are the one that wants it.. when I was divorcing my 1st husband. also a lying, cheating sack of scum. this was over a decade ago- I went on the protein power plan.. high fat and protein/ low carb.. today it would be more like the primal blueprint/paleo diet is today.. I dropped weight very very quickly. I went from a size 22 to a size 14 in 6 months. But I also think it has a lot to do with your health, age and how you deal with stress.. are you a stress eater? if so you may need to find something that comforts and takes the focus off food when you are feeling sad and lonely.. or are you the type that stops eating altogether when you get stressed.. I am the latter.. I would go days on end with nothing but coffee and water, constantly on the go and little to no sleep.. not a good plan either.. I lost weight but really did damage to my health.
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
    Oh, my .... yep went through the Big D and couldn't be happier. I lost quite a bit of weight. Funny thing though, it found its way back on me, but it'll come back off.

    I feel more peace now than I ever have. I'm more relaxed and can breathe in my own home. I do things I never thought I'd do. (Check out my signature.)

    I do have children and they were at a very vunerable age when we split - high school. They were fed with so many untruths that it took EVERY ounce of restraint I had to not come unglued. I held it together and today - three and a half to four years later they see things much differently. And .... I WIN! They come to me with their joys and sorrows and problems. They talk with their dad, too, but not like they talk with me. But it took FOREVER for them to filter the lies from the truth.

    I was training for a marathon when I was married. When I told my then husband my goal the first words out of his mouth were, "Why would you want to do that." Ummmm...yeah, thanks for the support. Anyway, I could not do it. Everytime I got to mile 15ish I'd hurt too much to complete the training. Neck pains, etc. I got a divorce and the neck pains vanished. It had to be stress. My Jeep boasts a 26.2 decal on the back window!!

    Everyone has their own story and reasons for getting a divorce, but for me it was the right decision - physically, mentally, emotionally, and spiriturally.

    Godspeed through the difficult times ahead!
  • brnsgrsbody
    brnsgrsbody Posts: 254 Member
    I don't know if I am in the same situation because my life has become a fairytale almost lately and I guess this would be the sun shining on the brightside.
    Well my divorce is final this month too but I have been trying to get out of the marriage as long as I had been in it (three years). I married him because I was pregnant and come to find out I didn't know A TON of things that I didn't know about him foundationally because he lied. HE was a compulsive liar as well but I don't know about cheating. Then he turned into an abuser after marriage, both physically and mentally.
    Well I put all my trust in God and I have been continuing to let my relationship with him grow. In that he has coninuted to bless me and my children over and over in the past few months.
    He let a man that works with me begin to show me so much respect that I have been in amazement that he could even make such a man. Next he let me drive past a house for about two weeks before deciding to go take a look at it. I fell in love with it and now I will close on Nov 7th with no money down, no closing costs....
    I have continued to work out hard and not gain any weight because the new man that has been placed in my life loves to workout to and I have been a personal trainer to him. It keeps me motivated.
    There are so many things that can happen when you get divorced but I continue to pray for your stength to press your way through.

    Be Blessed:flowerforyou:
  • MistyJ2011
    MistyJ2011 Posts: 13
    Thanks so much for making me laugh!
  • MistyJ2011
    MistyJ2011 Posts: 13
    Thanks everyone for the words of encouragmet, I know it will get better, it is just going to take some time. I do have a daughter but she is not his so I we did not have anything to fight over, no kids together, no property or anything so in that sense it has gone smoothly. I am ready for the happy days to begin..... hope they hurry up and get here.
  • goaliema
    goaliema Posts: 150 Member
    bump
  • Shannonigans84
    Shannonigans84 Posts: 693 Member
    When I finally got the courage to leave my ex husband, I also made my health a priority. I started losing weight and feeling good. I knew I had to build myself back up if I was ever going to pack up the car and drive myself and my daughter 1800 miles home. (He was active duty Army) I had such low self esteem from the abuse and it was up to me to make things happen. We separated February of 2010, he was deployed at the time. I knew if I was going to get out safely I had to do it while he was gone. But then I felt bad he wouldn't be able to see his daughter before we left. So I stayed until he got back the end of March. We had already tried counseling but I agreed to stay one more month so he could "show me he changed." Well he hadn't, and we left the end of April. It was hard and I didn't know what the future held, but I pushed on. He met someone a month after I left so even though he was begging me to come back, this confirmed he really was a jerk. I continued to lose weight, I moved out of my mom's house and got a good job, and I met the man of my dreams. I'm happier and healthier than I've ever been! I know things are tough, but know your new life will be so much better. :smile:
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