Difficult Husbands???

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CNParker
CNParker Posts: 108 Member
in Motivation and Support
Anyone else get alot of crap from there husband about having a few extra lbs? I constantly hear stories about 'when I was hot...". Or get dirty looks if I drink a soda, wine, have a piece of cake, ect. I'm completely sick of it. Some days it motivates me, other days I just want to pig out. How do you deal with it? What is your response?

Replies

  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,464 Member
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    Yah, and now he is someone else's difficult husband!
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
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    Yep. Dirty looks. Eating the food so that I can't eat it. Refusing to take me out to dinner "because you'll pick the worst thing on the menu".

    So what did I do? Went and ate whatever I wanted when he wasnt looking.

    Did that make me feel better? For awhile. Until I realized I'd put on twenty pounds and I was severely unhappy with myself.

    Now I'm exercising regularly and eating better and losing weight. I'm much happier.

    He seemed to think that he was "helping" me. No. That was not help. It wasn't even constructive criticism. It was hurtful.

    But now I'm counting my calories so carefully I don't go for the most awful thing on the menu and I'm not sneaking in fast food. So he has nothing to complain about anymore. And if I want a bite of brownie? I'm eating that bite no matter what he says because I've been doing a good job and I know it!
  • wbgolden
    wbgolden Posts: 2,071 Member
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    Yah, and now he is someone else's difficult husband!

    ha!
  • fionat29
    fionat29 Posts: 717 Member
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    I'm so lucky that my husband has honestly loved me fat, thin, enormous and thinner! Lol! At my biggest he'd make little comments but not in a nasty way, just trying to nudge me in the right direction. Right now, I've been doing so well with MFP that he's joined me and has now lost 18lbs himself. We are both happy MFPers! Lol!! Plus I've just got my mum into it as well!
  • Fitnin6280
    Fitnin6280 Posts: 618 Member
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    Never! My husband has always been the most loving supportive person in my life. He has always made me feel like the most sexy woman in the world, while still supporting my need to lose weight. I am a very lucky woman!
  • kelceystevens73
    kelceystevens73 Posts: 36 Member
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    He sounds like an *kitten* and could use a lesson or two on how to motivate someone, especially someone you love! For every dirty look you should trade him a flick in the nads.
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
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    Yah, and now he is someone else's difficult husband!

    LMFAO!!! love it
  • Jessicaruby
    Jessicaruby Posts: 881 Member
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    Yah, and now he is someone else's difficult husband!

    LMFAO!!! love it
  • LisaKyle11
    LisaKyle11 Posts: 662 Member
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    don't put up with that sh$t... seriously. your husband, of all people, should not disrespect you like that. you deserve to be treated better! .....think hard about it.
  • Mios3
    Mios3 Posts: 530 Member
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    I don't understand this at all. I am soo thankful to have a supportive husband.

    Idk what I WOULD do since I don't have this problem, but I would hope I would give him a piece of my mind after I eat that slice of chocolate cake with chocolate frosting and ice cream. :laugh:
  • feefu1988
    feefu1988 Posts: 1
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    give him a kick up the *kitten*!
  • manderson27
    manderson27 Posts: 3,510 Member
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    My previous husband said some very hurtful things and so I lost a ton of weight and then I divorced him.

    My present hubby met me when I was quite slim and even though my weight has gone up he never makes comments. However I am aware that he has a "weight limit" So I know that if I reach a certain size (admittedly I haven't reached it yet) He would find it difficult to find me physically attractive. That doesn't mean he wouldn't love me but our sex life would suffer I think. I don't think this is nasty on his part because I wouldn't find him physically attractive if he put on a ton of weight ether.

    I know you are supposed to love unconditionally but If you fell in love with a reasonabley thin person then they baloon up to 30stone I think that it would be reasonable not to find that attractive no matter how much you loved them.
  • kerrylou45
    kerrylou45 Posts: 60 Member
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    My husband "helps" me in the same ways!! Makes you feel **** about putting anything in your mouth just makes you want it more! I'm currently into week 4 of MFP and in the first week he went to our "corner" store 10 min drive away and brought back lunch - nice yes but what did he bring me back.........a family sized packet of kettle fried chips! I asked him why he had to get me those and he said I didn't know what to get! so I ate them with intentions of only eating 1/4 of them ( but ate the whole thing :( ). He has sort of improved been strangle supportive for the first time in the 13 years together I don't know if I should be happy or worried about it.
  • judkinsjenny
    judkinsjenny Posts: 220
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    Yeah, so i got rid of the effer! now i have a fabulous husband cuz he doesnt DARE to be otherwise! Your husband needs to be told to shuv it up his *kitten*! need any help? thats not love. you dont deserve that!! you r beaytiful and precious! FFFFFFFFFFFFFF HIIIIIM!!!
  • judkinsjenny
    judkinsjenny Posts: 220
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    OOOOO OH IM SO MAD. YOU NEED TO MOVE BACK w your mom and dad. cut him off!
  • BrewerGeorge
    BrewerGeorge Posts: 397 Member
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    What the hell? You ladies are married to some jerks. I would NEVER say anything like that. I may occasionally think "WTF is she eating that, we just had dinner?" or some such, but I would never EVER say anything out loud. That's just hurtful. Your spouse is supposed to be on your side no matter what.

    The only excuse I can come up with for these guys not to be total jerks is if he THINKS he's joking (to honestly be funny, not to be passive-aggressive). If you suspect that's the case, just tell him you don't think those comments are funny and ask him to stop. If he still doesn't kick him to the curb!
  • judkinsjenny
    judkinsjenny Posts: 220
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    Right on! See?, even men think thats horrid!
  • shawnscott5
    shawnscott5 Posts: 295 Member
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    He sounds like an *kitten* and could use a lesson or two on how to motivate someone, especially someone you love! For every dirty look you should trade him a flick in the nads.

    This totally cracked me up! My husband has been so supportive, now he is even drinking my Shakeology and losing weight too!!
  • ADobs
    ADobs Posts: 160 Member
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    I think it's all in the way it's said as it can cross that line and become mentally abusive and instead of helping you, it only drives you to eat more in spite. At the same time, and I'm NOT defending men, but they honestly don't realize that what they say sometimes or how they say it comes off completely wrong and is actually hurtful to us ladies, who are much more sensitive.

    I do agree with another post here about not being attractive physically to your significant other if they doubled in size. When I met my hubby he was fit and muscular and I was about 130 lbs. After we got married 4 years ago, I went up to 150 lbs and he was still pretty fit but not as muscular, yet we still found each other attractice. HOWEVER, if he went up to 300-400 pounds and I went up to 200 lbs, I would have a hard time finding him physically attractive.

    I don't think that's shallow or superficial at all, because I would still love my husband no matter what, but physical attraction is also important. I don't care if gains 5, 10 or 15 pounds, but there is a limit and more imporantly I want him/me to be healthy.

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