Negative Feedback in the home life

bassett8807
bassett8807 Posts: 96 Member
edited October 4 in Introduce Yourself
I am only into the second week of really working out but I have been getting absolutely no encouragement from my family or friends. In my first week I lost 3 lbs and 2 1/4" over all and I didn't even get a good job or anything when I told my mom. She didn't even acknowledge it. I don't have any active friends on MFP either. I need some encouragement! I don't like that I have to do this all on my own.

Replies

  • neon8919
    neon8919 Posts: 46
    Keep up the good work!! Just think you keep working on it!

    MOTIVATION!!
  • malibuollie
    malibuollie Posts: 2
    I just joined and I know I will will need the encouagement also. This seems to be a good place to get that. Keep your chin up and way to go!
  • janet5432
    janet5432 Posts: 39 Member
    I know it is rough but your better off not telling anyone till they notice. Some will even try to sabotage you. Whether we do it subconscienously or on purpose many will try and bring you down. I have some tell me great job and then bring a box of donuts in.

    I found some friends on here (don't have a ton). What really helps me is going to the success stories and reading them. Eventually your family will notice. My DH just looked at me today and said I think you are losing weight.

    If you want to add me as a friend feel free. I try to comment on posts when I am on. Sometimes I get busy but do my best.
    Good luck and just keep going and ignoring the rest.
  • Briteblu
    Briteblu Posts: 71
    Hi! I feel ya! It's hard to do it alone!
    My fiance is some what supportive but he smokes and doesnt work out with me or eat right or anything. Luckily My BFF and MFP friends are there to motivate me! You just have to remember to keep your focus if you really want this! And we are here to support and motivate you!
    Feel free to add me as a friend if you like!! :-)
  • macpatti
    macpatti Posts: 4,280 Member
    I am only into the second week of really working out but I have been getting absolutely no encouragement from my family or friends. In my first week I lost 3 lbs and 2 1/4" over all and I didn't even get a good job or anything when I told my mom. She didn't even acknowledge it. I don't have any active friends on MFP either. I need some encouragement! I don't like that I have to do this all on my own.

    That's what this site is about......NOT doing it alone. We're all sharing in this journey. Tell your accomplishments to those who support you, and don't let the others bring you down.
  • dancingj2
    dancingj2 Posts: 4,572 Member
    It is hard when people around are not supportive. However there are lots of people here than can help.

    You can add me as a friend.
  • czechsmate
    czechsmate Posts: 556 Member
    This is the right place to be, we all help eachother! Sending friend request :flowerforyou:
  • mma1987
    mma1987 Posts: 3
    it's all about how you feel, you have to be your own motivator because bottom line is that without that discipline you will fail. say to yourself this is for me! i don't need anyone else's praise because i know what i am capable of and i am determined to get into the best shape of my life!
  • remle07
    remle07 Posts: 1 Member
    Let all the Haters be your Motivators!
    Keep up the great work! I bet when they all see you slimming down, they'll be asking you for advice.
  • Sidesteal
    Sidesteal Posts: 5,510 Member
    Are your family and friends overweight and/or out of shape? If so, this is probably why they aren't supportive.

    I certainly hope you don't let that drive any of your decisions about your fitness level or health.

    Good luck with your goals!
  • pocomama
    pocomama Posts: 93 Member
    I remember when I hit the 20 pound loss my mum said "are you sure you've lost 20 pounds, I wouldn't have thought it was that much." LMAO. I know she didnt mean it how it sounded. Also she is 5'4"...if she loses 20 pounds it is likely a lot more obvious than when I do as I am 5'11". By the time I hit the 40 pound mark she was making a huge deal about it, taking me shopping, etc. I think maybe some people just dont know what to say. My husband isnt exactly supportive. I mean, if he can he will leave for work 30 minutes later so I can get a run in in the mornings, but that is about it. He doesn't ever say anything. I am so glad I have this website and some awesome facebook friends who are taking this journey with me. It is the support and encouragement that keep me going.
  • JoAnn73
    JoAnn73 Posts: 161 Member
    Dont let anyone steer you away from you goal. Once you hit your goal it will all be worth it!
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,794 Member
    You are doing great! Sorry that the people in your life either don't notice or don't know that you need them to acknowledge and encourage you. Please don't let that discourage you! Continue exercising and monitoring what you eat. Before long they won't be able to ignore the changes in you.
  • Skittlebrew
    Skittlebrew Posts: 9
    I wouldn't be too hard on your moms at this point. Maybe it's different for women but for men, losing 2 to 3 pounds is pretty much a visit to the the can for a daily squat
  • secostley
    secostley Posts: 409 Member
    The people who see you everyday are always the last ones to say anything. Weight loss/weight change is so gradual that they really won't notice for some time--unless those friends you have who may only see you once every few weeks or months.

    To add, some family members/friends are simply unsupportive--especially when they can stand a few pounds to lose themselves. It's easier for them to pull you down to their standards than it is for them to rise to your new standards for nutrition and fitness.

    The remedy: Focus on the fact that you're not doing this for them or for their approval. It's for your own self-preservation. Next, lock into some other friends at the gym and on MFP to keep you motivated and educated!

    You can do this--without THEM!

    God bless!


    Shawn
  • bregalad5
    bregalad5 Posts: 3,965 Member
    You have to be selfish in this. Do it for yourself, and don't worry about what others think. People here are going to likely be the most supportive, because we understand your day-to-day struggles: being overweight, getting the motivation to work out when you feel like crap, and your joys: hitting the 10, 20, 30 pound marks, running your first mile.

    Keep your chin up, and don't let them get to you! :smile:
  • Eric0388
    Eric0388 Posts: 20
    Same here. I am always told that I'm "obsessed". I call it "effort". Whatever..right?
  • bassett8807
    bassett8807 Posts: 96 Member
    Thank you very much everyone!
  • ColoradoRobin
    ColoradoRobin Posts: 510 Member
    My family supports me, but my friends never say a word. Most of them are more overweight than I was, so I understand that it can be hard to see someone else losing weight. It makes it harder to accept the excuses that we make for ourselves. My MFP friends are here for me, and this really is a personal journey.
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member
    I am only into the second week of really working out but I have been getting absolutely no encouragement from my family or friends. In my first week I lost 3 lbs and 2 1/4" over all and I didn't even get a good job or anything when I told my mom. She didn't even acknowledge it. I don't have any active friends on MFP either. I need some encouragement! I don't like that I have to do this all on my own.

    That's what this site is about......NOT doing it alone. We're all sharing in this journey. Tell your accomplishments to those who support you, and don't let the others bring you down.

    And - do yourself a favor - do NOT, I repeat DO NOT feel like you are still required to take crap from your family and RL friends both speechless and full of words from them with regard to your weight loss journey - just because they are your family. If they cant say anything nice, you dont ever have to put up with that. I dropped most of my family like a ton of bricks REAL fast. Got a mouth-full from my mother with all the "you arent living", "having one isnt gonna hurt you THAT much", and the ever classic "Your doctors ought to be ashamed trying to limit you like that, and SHAME ON YOU for listening!"....... and to think, this is a person who never listens to her doctors, drinks heavily while taking medications that state she CANT drink alcohol, and has a good 75lbs to lose herself but refuses to listen to her doctors (she is a post-stroke/ARDS patient). Nope, I shut my mother out of my life because I dont need that type of toxic chemistry disturbing my efforts. She isnt worth having in my life and I wont put up with her negativity.

    The only person who has been supportive in my efforts is my husband. If he brings something home, he always does offer some to me (he brought home a Dominos Extravaganza), but, when I go to MFP to research it before I have any, I bring him over with me to show him ... well, maybe its not a good idea for me to have it... He about DIED when he read the calorie/carb/fat/protein for one slice of a large hand tossed pizza... And you know what, smelling that pizza actually turned me off... he laughed and said "sorry hun", and I tell him its perfectly fine.. I mean hell, I had a good laugh at myself... Ive been eating clean for a very long time and to be at that point where a pizza made me gag, SAYS ALOT! But, he never makes me feel like I HAVE to have it.. he is just being the sweety that he is... and hopefully as more pounds come off, it starts to show and hopefully he will see that... (not counting on it, LOL!)


    Ive also run into some great people here who are in my friend's list - we have alot in common besides the weight-loss goal and its nice to be able to gab and not feel like you are being s*** on...

    Take this thread as your 'tackling fuel' and run like hell with it. Keep your chin up, your heart strong, and dont let anyone talk trash, related or not!
  • curvygirl512
    curvygirl512 Posts: 423 Member
    Not only do I not get any support from my husband or mother, but they try to sabbotage my efforts by waving less than healthy food right in front of my face. I'd be lost without the support I've found on MFP! Go ahead and add me as a friend.
  • gail16
    gail16 Posts: 94
    My other half is kind of supportive in that he will push me to run harder and faster but then suggests take aways all the time and that is really hard as I have no willpower at all!!

    My best friend came to see me today and she brought over a huge box of cookies as she said I deserved a reward for doing so well. She didn't mean any harm and as she is skinny she didn't think anything was wrong with eating the cookies. I told her I couldn't eat them because I am trying to lose weight and she said that life was to short and I deserved a treat. She meant well and ended up leaving some of them at my house as I refused to eat any while she was there. I'll give them to my other half later. I am determined to lose this weight this time round and have the support of my MFP friends.

    The reason for me being so determined to lose the weight is actually because of my mother-in-law. I overhead her laughing at how fat I was recently and it really hurt. She is two sizes larger than me and we are going on a family holiday in March so I want to lose most of weight by then so I can be the one laughing!
  • caitindabx
    caitindabx Posts: 41
    Congratulations!! Sounds like you're doing really well. I give you a lot of credit for working out. I'm too lazy!!!

    I'm sorry your family/friends aren't as supportive as you'd like. I have experienced that before too and it can be discouraging. Maybe you should tell them how it makes you feel when they don't support you? Perhaps they don't even realize how it's affecting you.

    Keep up the good work. :)
  • cramernh
    cramernh Posts: 3,335 Member

    My best friend came to see me today and she brought over a huge box of cookies as she said I deserved a reward for doing so well. She didn't mean any harm and as she is skinny she didn't think anything was wrong with eating the cookies. I told her I couldn't eat them because I am trying to lose weight and she said that life was to short and I deserved a treat.


    The reason for me being so determined to lose the weight is actually because of my mother-in-law. I overhead her laughing at how fat I was recently and it really hurt. She is two sizes larger than me and we are going on a family holiday in March so I want to lose most of weight by then so I can be the one laughing!

    As far as your friend goes, you can tell her "Thats right life is too short, so I am making the right choices for me and that means not eating those cookies". Your friend needs to be a little bit more understanding because this is about YOU, not what she thinks is ok for you.

    As far as your mother-in-law - Im sorry but Im the type to confront people who love to try sticking a damn knife in my back and turning the blade. My MIL is HORRIBLE... never can understand how a human being could be so nasty and negative. There are times her son (my husband) has told her "youre insulting my wife" or when it comes to my cooking which is ALL healthy, "if you dont like my wife's cooking, the door is right there, no need to take leftovers with you at this point".

    If your MIL were mine, I would be telling her point-blank "you can sit there and laugh at how fat you think I am, but in all seriousness lady, you yourself look alot worse off than I do. Perhaps I could recommend a diet that completely ELIMINATES YOU?"

    Dont let that witch get away with it...
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