Anyone Else Keeping Weight Loss Efforts a Secret?
galaxyhearts
Posts: 258 Member
True Confession: My family doesn't know I'm trying to lose weight. Neither do most of my friends.
Are there any other "secret losers" out there?? How has it affected you?
Personally I'm really too ashamed to tell my family. I don't want to be asked about it or talk about it with them, nor do I want to be treated differently or talked about.
If they never found out - aside from me actually losing the weight - I'd be really happy.
Are there any other "secret losers" out there?? How has it affected you?
Personally I'm really too ashamed to tell my family. I don't want to be asked about it or talk about it with them, nor do I want to be treated differently or talked about.
If they never found out - aside from me actually losing the weight - I'd be really happy.
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i only tell certain people about the details. its obvious im doing something. if they ask i tell them.0
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I didn't tell anyone but my husband for quite awhile. I didn't want to face people if I "failed" again. So until it became obvious to others I didn't say a darn thing. Once I had lost 25 or 30lbs I felt good that I could keep doing it and then when people started to notice I could say "oh yeah I've been working hard".0
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I haven't told anyone besides my mom that I'm really trying to drop lbs. I posted on facebook about not drinking due to a "health kick" but other than that, no one knows0
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I'm with you, I kind of keep it to myself!0
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Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!0 -
My family/friends can tell that im losing weight at this point. BUT, I do not tell them how much I want to lose or give details of my diet. Its not that I have anything to hid but I dont need them critizing me.
Most would say:
" You will look sick if you lose that much"
"You can't continue this "diet" forever...and you will just gain it back"
Can you say sabatoge?0 -
For the first several months I didn't tell anyone but my husband. Even with my sister constantly asking I wouldn't admit to anything. It wasn't until I actually felt like I had figured out what I was doing and what worked for me that I would be vocal about it. I didn't want to be slammed with "You should do this or that". I wanted to figure out what worked for me and make sure it worked for me before I had to defend it. MFP allowed me to do that. I got the suppport I needed here and the tools I needed to succeed. Until you are ready to tell there is nothing wrong with keeping it to yourself. We'll all be here to be as supportive as you need us to be.
Good luck! 0 -
I don't announce it when I enter a room, but some people know I'm back at the gym and others I've told about MFP, more as a "this great website has already helped me lose 15 pounds!" kind of way. so plenty of people know, most don't know what i've lost so far and I doubt anyone knows how much I really have to lose.....but no one else matters, it's all about me!0
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I'm not advertizing it, but if someone asks I tell. I do try to spread the word about MFP though. I was not doing so well at losing weight before finding this site.0
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I PERSONALLY feel like when people know you are trying to lose weight (whatever your reasons may be) that they tend to watch everything single you do, and eat. Then I hate when I feel like I have to justify if I eat this or that, that someone may not think I should since I am trying to lose weight. I keep it quiet, and if someone asks me, I will be happy to tell them what I am doing. Good luck0
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Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!
While I do agree with this sort of, I also knew early on I couldn't tell someone else what my starting weight was or HOW much I had to lose. It was simply WAAAY to scary a number. I had to focus on smaller things and mini-goals and not have people asking me "can you have this?" Or "oh you're having another?" etc because when you're "on a diet" the whole world starts paying attention to what you're eating. So telling only my SUPPORTIVE! husband helped me get the ball rolling. I did take before pictures at his instance even though I thought I'd never share them, but I have because I can be proud of how far I have come and I can show people that 242lbs is what I weighed but that is 76 lbs more than I weigh today. I'm proud of how far I have come but if I had been mocked, talked about, annoyed, worried, etc early on I don't think I would have been successful.0 -
Yep! I am more successful when I keep it a secret because I don't get all of the negative feedback. Most of my family and friends have no idea. They'll find out eventually when they see me, but for now I'm happy as it is (I live in a different state than all of them and don't see them very often, so it's quite easy to keep it a secret) :laugh:0
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I try to keep it to myself as much as possible. Only my Mum knows and a few of my work mates have noticed my diet change which have made them ask if I'm on a diet which I've replied 'No'. With my past track of diets, I always fail!!
My Mum is the only one that has noticed the change in my shape because she is always the first that can tell when I'm putting on weight which is awesome cause she will tell me and I can stop myself from going any further! My bf said he doesnt care what size I am so doesn't really get into the weight issue LOL!0 -
I moved out of state from most of my fam and friends.
My Mom has always been super thin naturally- and has struggled with having a "bigger" daughter. I have not told her- because it will be a surprise! Also haven't told my best friend from childhood, because she's super competitive and always gets mad if I'm thinner than her (not often!). I can't wait to piss her off! heehee0 -
My boyfriend knows I'm keep track of everything I am eating and trying to eat healthier, but does not know that I am actually trying to lose a significant amount of weigth... No one in my family has any clue... I have a friend who is holding me accountable and working out with me and I have been working out with my roommate as well. My roommate actually said she can see it in my stomach the other day... Which I have as well.. I also have noticed it in my calves... I figure when I see people if they notice they notice... if not no biggie... It's for me not for them. 0
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I used to be ilke that. but now i pretty much tell everyone. And now i feel much more accountable which helps me. Nobody judges me (in fact i know quite a few people who recently lost a lot of weight using weight watchers), and also it is then easier in social situations to organise to have healthier meals if meeting up with people. id rather say have a dinner party where i can cook healthy food for everyone than go to a restaurant where it is all very calorie rich (lucky i ilke cooking).
It has also got me out of some noncompulsary work social things as i really don't want be be forced to eat that food and everyone understands that (i hope)
In fact you are more likely to find other people in your (real) life who are going through or have been through the same thing and it is great to get extra ideas from them and give each other support. I've been swapping diet cookbooks with girls at work!
You'll feel so much better about yourself. You have no reason to feel ashamed!0 -
I'm the opposite. I've become an MFP missionary. LOL.... I have recruit dozens of friends/corworkers.
I did see a post on here about a lady that was hiding her heavy weightloss from her husband who was in Afghanistan. Bet that will be a shocker when he comes home!0 -
I'm the opposite.. I tell EVERYONE. This way I feel like I won't fail because I've told too many people. I am going to work harder because I don't want to have them ask me what happened. Why didn't I lose weight. Plus people I know are pushers... "Eat this! It's yummy!" "Have a treat with me!" If I didn't tell them right off the bat, I'd be having to fight with them all the time. They know, so they don't ask me. The guys at work know because they invite me to lunch every day and try to get me to eat treats. When they push, I google the treats and tell them how many calories are in them. No one wants to know how many calories are in a donut hole when they just ate 7 of them, so they stopped! But this is just me. You should do what you are comfortable with. That is the only way you are going to stick with it. As long as you are honest with yourself, you can accomplish anything. 0
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My husband knows, but I haven't discussed it with anyone else. Talking about it just messes with my head. I don't want to make a big deal about it or have anyone else do the same. I am trying to make small, incremental changes that can become long-term habits instead of making drastic, obvious changes that I won't be able to stick with. So, it hasn't been a noticeable enough difference to alert anyone's attention.0
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Yeah I'm keeping it quiet for two main reasons. The first, and most important reason, is that my mother is a lifelong yoyo / fad dieter who has nothing to say about weight loss that isn't stupid, unhelpful, insensitive or wrong. As far as I'm aware she's never gone about this in a sensible and evidence based way. I just do not want to have the conversations which will inevitably ensue if she discovers I'm doing this. She's currently on a starvation diet which will do her no good in the long run but I know she'd try to go all competitive with me. Because obviously the only thing that matters is how quickly you manage to shift pounds *rolleyes*
The second reason is that I've met many women who've been on diets and become spectacularly boring people as a direct result. When diet talk is the only conversation someone wants to have it's very difficult to maintain a friendship if you're not also on a diet. I have to spend a lot of time thinking about calories and exercise - that's fine. I just don't think that every single person around me should also have to do so.0 -
My close family and friends know I'm trying to lose weight. I cringe when any of them ask 'what kind of diet I'm on'. I have to keep telling them I'm not 'on a diet', I'm making better choices. Grilled chicken instead of fried. Vegetables and fruits instead of french fries. Yogurt instead of ice cream. Better choices. But still with the ability to indulge in treats as long as they fit into my plan for the day.0
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I said something to my immediate family, and my close friends... and haven't mentioned it since. everynow and then I have a status on FB or something that leans toward the fact that I am losing weight but nothing major. I just don't want weight loss to become the ONLY thing everyone talks about when I am around.0
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By now pretty much everyone I know is aware of it except my parents. My mother is very nasty so we (husband, myself, and kids) have all agreed it's a top secret. She is the one that will gloat if she thinks she weighs even an ounce less than me and if I look smaller she gets this look on her face. Best way to describe "the look"? Looks like she sucked on a lemon while smelling dog *kitten*. sigh.
For my own emotional well being I have no intentions of telling her. I have no idea how much longer I can avoid her but I have gotten through all the kids birthdays without having to see her.0 -
Yep! I hate when pple constantly ask me how it's going, or ask me if I really think I should eat such and such (if I happen to be allowing myself a treat). I really hate it when someone knows I am trying to lose weight, and constantly monitors what I eat, tells me how I could get more excersise, and critiques my style, etc. My sister knows, and one or two of my really close friends (some of them are doing this with me) but that's all. Once I lose a signifigant amount, it will be obvious enough that I will talk about it then. I dunno, weightloss is an extremely personal thing, and I hate have people talk about it a lot.0
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Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!
I think some people just don't want to be "called out" so to speak or have eyes watching them through this for fear of failure.
I personally don't care. When I first started this my husband and I went to his friends house for a Bbq and of course they had beer. When asked if I wanted one I simply said No I'm watching my calories and trying to lose weight.
I saw this friend again for the first time in 4 months and he was like Wow you look great, good job. These comments really keep me motivated.
To each their own 0 -
Same for me. When I lost weight before joining here, people knew I had (obviously) been doing something different, but I'm not freely talking about how I'm still continuing on. My body is still a 'work in progress' for me.I'm not advertizing it, but if someone asks I tell.0 -
This is why I don't tell anyone I'm loosing weight...because they set expectations for you subconsciously!I PERSONALLY feel like when people know you are trying to lose weight (whatever your reasons may be) that they tend to watch everything single you do, and eat. Then I hate when I feel like I have to justify if I eat this or that, that someone may not think I should since I am trying to lose weight. I keep it quiet, and if someone asks me, I will be happy to tell them what I am doing. Good luck0 -
Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!
While I do agree with this sort of, I also knew early on I couldn't tell someone else what my starting weight was or HOW much I had to lose. It was simply WAAAY to scary a number.
Personally...What are you afraid of? it's a number. jsut like your age. It is, in a manner mindset, just a number. You know what want. GET IT. And use everything you can to remind you of what/where you are and where you to be. Embrace it and move forward.
With that in mind, other than a doctor, who needs to know? So you have a Goal of 150+ pounds to lose. By having it in front of you, then it is a reminder of what you want to achieve. Remember, the world is full of people who think they know what perfection is....but in reality, there is no perfection. Perfection is the interpretation of what one wishes they had. Be proud that you recognize and are acting upon what YOU want. This is a GREAT community and full of supportive people. Anyone who cannot support another in their journey to being a healthier person, on this site or not is a selfish asshat.
I am proud of what you have acomplished!!!!!! Seeing where you have come from, you are inspiration!
(good lord, I still can't spell)0 -
Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!
I think some people just don't want to be "called out" so to speak or have eyes watching them through this for fear of failure.
It's called accountability. If you friend someone on here, it is, most likely, because you want them to support you and help you...and in return you do the same. Being called out on a Social Network for how much you have to lose or gain?? I have yet to see that here. Being called out for the AMAZING results people are getting here....AWESOMENESS IN ACTION!
Failure is a Choice. and I will say again...IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT.0 -
Do you see all these great TICKERS? No one needs to know your weight...just your goals. And by that, only for the pure fact of being able to support and motivate you.
If you are hiding the facts, then the fact is you are making excuses to make the change you want.
Man Up! Woman UP! IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT!
I think some people just don't want to be "called out" so to speak or have eyes watching them through this for fear of failure.
It's called accountability. If you friend someone on here, it is, most likely, because you want them to support you and help you...and in return you do the same. Being called out on a Social Network for how much you have to lose or gain?? I have yet to see that here. Being called out for the AMAZING results people are getting here....AWESOMENESS IN ACTION!
Failure is a Choice. and I will say again...IF YOU WANT IT...GET IT.
I thought the OP was saying away from the Social Network/MFP, or at least that's how I took it *shrugs*. While I don't disagree with you in that Failure is a choice some people don't get much support away from this site.0
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