Ladies & Venting

sovannac
sovannac Posts: 445 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
Hi Ladies,

I was discussing this the other night with my fiance - when you vent to your friends are you venting and looking for a solution or are you venting just because? Also, how about when you vent to your significant other? Solution or just letting your feelings be known?

Gents, I would love to hear your thoughts as well.

Discuss!

Replies

  • LaPistolaSexola
    LaPistolaSexola Posts: 243 Member
    when i'm asking for advice, i ask for it. otherwise i'm just venting.
  • rml_16
    rml_16 Posts: 16,414 Member
    Most of the time I know the solution or there just isn't one, so just venting to get it out in both cases.

    Sometimes when I vent to my SO, it's because I want him to life the stress a little bit by taking a little responsibility off my shoulders (when possible).
  • lmataloni
    lmataloni Posts: 33 Member
    I vent for sympathy primarily and for validation that my feelings are justified.
  • irunforfun
    irunforfun Posts: 113 Member
    Sometimes I vent to get a solution, other times because I don't need it bottled up inside (I tend to not tell people what's on my mind though, and it only makes the problem worse). Just depends - always hope for a solution though.
  • ILiftHeavyAcrylics
    ILiftHeavyAcrylics Posts: 27,732 Member
    I tell whoever I'm talking to which one I'm doing. LoL I know it sounds ridiculous but if I start with 'I just need to vent' then my hubby knows I'm not really looking for advice, just sympathy. If I say 'I could use some advice' then he usually tries to come up with something.
  • alohabrie
    alohabrie Posts: 204
    I vent for sympathy primarily and for validation that my feelings are justified.

    Yep - that's my vent. I don't need problem solving unless I specifically ask for it.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I am not friends with very many women... My hubby says this is because I think like a man.

    I do want to vent, but that is so I can explain the problem fully in order to come up with a solution.

    Seriously, venting without wanting a solution is the same thing as whining, and if I don't want my child to whine, I need to set the example and not do any whining of my own.
  • Bridge_CG
    Bridge_CG Posts: 429 Member
    It's a lot of word vomit that comes out. I'm looking for a solution, but I'm so stubborn that I just keep telling myself that there is no solution- no matter what my best friend says. :) But it's word vomit that is coming out just because. If there is a solution fine. If there is and I'm too stubborn to listen then fine.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    Sometimes I vent to get a solution, other times because I don't need it bottled up inside (I tend to not tell people what's on my mind though, and it only makes the problem worse). Just depends - always hope for a solution though.
    this
  • LilMissFoodie
    LilMissFoodie Posts: 612 Member
    Well, if I'm venting I guess I want a solution. That doesn't necessarily mean I think you will have the solution but I will be happy to discuss your possible solutions and tell you why all of them are unsuitable :P
  • CaptainGordo
    CaptainGordo Posts: 4,437 Member
    Thanks to "Defending the Caveman", I learned that sometimes women want a man to listen, and not necessarily find a solution to their problem. One of the greatest things I've learned as a husband.
  • ╰☆╮PilatesPOPster╰☆╮
    ╰☆╮PilatesPOPster╰☆╮ Posts: 198
    when i'm asking for advice, i ask for it. otherwise i'm just venting.
    this
  • AtticusFinch
    AtticusFinch Posts: 1,262 Member
    By venting you mean passing wind yes ?
  • LaComadreja14
    LaComadreja14 Posts: 277 Member
    when i'm asking for advice, i ask for it. otherwise i'm just venting.

    ^ That ^
  • california_peach
    california_peach Posts: 1,809 Member
    By venting you mean passing wind yes ?

    I would think so, yes.
  • roebuck1908
    roebuck1908 Posts: 185
    ScrewyChars-5077026
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    I think this is something that has often prevented me from having very close female friends. They usually like to vent. I don’t see the point of complaining about something without wanting a solution. Sometimes they get offended when I offer solutions. I don't understand though. If it's a problem, why wouldn't you want to find a solution?
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    Also, I didn't mean to sound sexist. Some men also like to vent and don't want solutions. I just don't see it as often.
  • CoryIda
    CoryIda Posts: 7,870 Member
    I think this is something that has often prevented me from having very close female friends. They usually like to vent. I don’t see the point of complaining about something without wanting a solution. Sometimes they get offended when I offer solutions. I don't understand though. If it's a problem, why wouldn't you want to find a solution?
    Exactly what I posted earlier. It seems we are in the minority though!
  • _GlaDOS_
    _GlaDOS_ Posts: 1,520 Member
    I think this is something that has often prevented me from having very close female friends. They usually like to vent. I don’t see the point of complaining about something without wanting a solution. Sometimes they get offended when I offer solutions. I don't understand though. If it's a problem, why wouldn't you want to find a solution?
    Exactly what I posted earlier. It seems we are in the minority though!

    Ah, I missed your post. Glad I'm not the only one. :flowerforyou:
  • JStarnes
    JStarnes Posts: 5,576 Member
    when i'm asking for advice, i ask for it. otherwise i'm just venting.
    this.
  • binary_jester
    binary_jester Posts: 3,311 Member
    Thanks to "Defending the Caveman", I learned that sometimes women want a man to listen, and not necessarily find a solution to their problem. One of the greatest things I've learned as a husband.
    Switching off that desire to "fix everything" is really hard though.
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,794 Member
    I vent just to get rid of the emotions! If I want advice, I ask!

    With my husband, when I vent I just want to be heard. I'm not asking him to fix everything!
  • Bonita_Lynne_58
    Bonita_Lynne_58 Posts: 2,794 Member
    Thanks to "Defending the Caveman", I learned that sometimes women want a man to listen, and not necessarily find a solution to their problem. One of the greatest things I've learned as a husband.

    Wise man!
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    most womwn are just looking to express their feelings but men usually are looking for a solution, therefore when a woman vents to a man he almost always offers a solution. its kinda like well if you dont want to fix it why complain about it for me anyhow
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
    It's funny how the act of 'venting' takes on a whole life of it's own dependant upon WHO you vent to.

    When you 'vent' to a friend about another friend or a spouse .. It's considered bonding .. sharing intimate thoughts.

    When you 'vent' to the person who is the object of your 'vent .. it' s considered b!tching.

    There is a fine line between 'b!tching", "venting", "complaining" , "criticizing" or "just sharing'

    I'm thinking is all about technique .. You can criticize with tact and finesse, get your point through and have a conversation that can result in a favourable end.

    or you can have a scream fest .. and the end result is not so favourable.

    I guess you have to choose how you can best achieve the result you'd like.


    This vent is not directed at anyone in particular ... Just say'n!
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