Why do you need friends

dls06
dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
I don't, but feel guilty when someone post that they are new and looking for or need friends. I notice that when people ask for friends almost no one responds to them. But when I asked before everyone jumped on me like I was wrong. ( Go down the post and look at how many post ask for friends and how many people replied to them).
Why do you feel you need other people besides the community to lose weight? And do you really care if you don't get a lot of replys?
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Replies

  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    I personally do not NEED friends to do what I am doing or get where I am. I did all of this and got here all by my little ole self. The friends are not NEEDED, they are WANTED. They are here to help me remember to laugh and stay positive, for support, encouragement, pick me up on my bad days (and the experience I am going through - there have been a few), inspire me motivate me, cheer me on - regardless if they are close or far away.

    So, no. I didn't NEED them, but I sure am GLAD I have them.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I've wondered this too. I don't have any friends on here because I really just don't understand the concept. My diary is open but I don't care if anyone looks at it or what they think of it. And anyone can post to these boards so I just don't get the concept of an MFP "friend". What can a friend do that everyone else can't?
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    I personally do not NEED friends to do what I am doing or get where I am. I did all of this and got here all by my little ole self. The friends are not NEEDED, they are WANTED. They are here to help me remember to laugh and stay positive, for support, encouragement, pick me up on my bad days (and the experience I am going through - there have been a few), inspire me motivate me, cheer me on - regardless if they are close or far away.

    So, no. I didn't NEED them, but I sure am GLAD I have them.

    Ditto Bry -- I don't NEED friends ... but they sure do help me get through this fitness thing.
  • cominupmilhouse
    cominupmilhouse Posts: 257 Member
    Personally I like having friends because it's nice to hear encouraging comments from others, and nice to hear when others are doing well too. Plus sometimes I have a question or something to say but I don't think it's something to address an entire community for, so I post it on my wall for my friends, who I know are going to be supportive.

    As for people asking for friends and not getting many posts, I usually send them a message in my friend request instead of posting a response. I think a lot of other people do this too.
  • ThePhoenixRose
    ThePhoenixRose Posts: 1,978 Member
    I personally do not NEED friends to do what I am doing or get where I am. I did all of this and got here all by my little ole self. The friends are not NEEDED, they are WANTED. They are here to help me remember to laugh and stay positive, for support, encouragement, pick me up on my bad days (and the experience I am going through - there have been a few), inspire me motivate me, cheer me on - regardless if they are close or far away.

    So, no. I didn't NEED them, but I sure am GLAD I have them.

    well said, bry! :heart:
  • ShellBell4281
    ShellBell4281 Posts: 127 Member
    Friends just make this whole process a lot more fun. We cheer each other on, give a pep talk if needed, and celebrate victories.
  • Luandanielle1979
    Luandanielle1979 Posts: 747 Member
    Because Its nice for people to be supported. I have loads of friends that I see every week but that doesnt mean that they are as supportive as the people I have met on here.
    These are the ones who give me support when I need it and advice. Most of the people on here that I speak to are all on the same road as me. Would I come on here as often if they wern't a part of my profile. I doubt it.

    You must be very motivated and commited if you can do it on your own. I personally like the idea of helping other people aswell. Its called kindness and compasion and this world lacks buckets of it. Here there's thousands of people ready to help and guide others. Humantity is a wonderful thing you know :O)
  • lloydrt
    lloydrt Posts: 1,121 Member
    why do I need friends?

    I love to gossip about others to them..........

    only kidding...........they are a great support role in my life..........I keep them in mind when I killing myself at the gym, or staying focused when Im in the grocery..............I like em..........Lloyd
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    I've wondered this too. I don't have any friends on here because I really just don't understand the concept. My diary is open but I don't care if anyone looks at it or what they think of it. And anyone can post to these boards so I just don't get the concept of an MFP "friend". What can a friend do that everyone else can't?
    I feel the same way. I guess a lot of people do too because I have noticed, not too many people answers the call for friends. Yet everytime someone brings it up they usually get blasted.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Because Its nice for people to be supported. I have loads of friends that I see every week but that doesnt mean that they are as supportive as the people I have met on here.
    These are the ones who give me support when I need it and advice. Most of the people on here that I speak to are all on the same road as me. Would I come on here as often if they wern't a part of my profile. I doubt it.

    You must be very motivated and commited if you can do it on your own. I personally like the idea of helping other people aswell. Its called kindness and compasion and this world lacks buckets of it. Here there's thousands of people ready to help and guide others. Humantity is a wonderful thing you know :O)

    Do you answer the call for friends everytime you see one posted?
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    For those that have friends on here, do you also have support in real life. By which I mean family, friends not on this site, etc.? I come from a very big family that is very supportive so maybe that's why I can't grasp the online friends thing.

    Maybe working in IT and constantly being reminded that people online are not necessarily who/what they claim makes me more wary too.

    Or maybe I'm just weird.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    Personally I like having friends because it's nice to hear encouraging comments from others, and nice to hear when others are doing well too. Plus sometimes I have a question or something to say but I don't think it's something to address an entire community for, so I post it on my wall for my friends, who I know are going to be supportive.

    As for people asking for friends and not getting many posts, I usually send them a message in my friend request instead of posting a response. I think a lot of other people do this too.
    I hope you are right because I feel bad when no one responds to them.
  • taso42
    taso42 Posts: 8,980 Member
    Maybe the threads have few replies because most of the replies come in the form of a friend request.
  • flabulous4
    flabulous4 Posts: 599 Member
    I suppose it depends on how much support you have directly around you...and how much you respond to or are guided by outside stimuli.

    I do post about running on Facebook, which is something that I have started as a result of trying to lose weight - but most of the people I see most aren't very interested in putting in some effort to lose weight (although 3 have started couch25K since I did it!).

    I figure that if I spend time on here I can learn from a lot of people who are all trying to do the same as me...and I'm learning from their good examples and ideas...and maybe I can help other people too. What's not to like?
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    For those that have friends on here, do you also have support in real life. By which I mean family, friends not on this site, etc.? I come from a very big family that is very supportive so maybe that's why I can't grasp the online friends thing.

    Maybe working in IT and constantly being reminded that people online are not necessarily who/what they claim makes me more wary too.

    Or maybe I'm just weird.

    You are not weird!:wink:
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I need people to laugh at my jokes or I will cease to exist.
  • cominupmilhouse
    cominupmilhouse Posts: 257 Member
    For those that have friends on here, do you also have support in real life. By which I mean family, friends not on this site, etc.? I come from a very big family that is very supportive so maybe that's why I can't grasp the online friends thing.

    Maybe working in IT and constantly being reminded that people online are not necessarily who/what they claim makes me more wary too.

    Or maybe I'm just weird.


    Yes I have very supportive friends and family whom I love and also couldn't do this without!! But no matter how supportive they are, it goes a lot farther coming from people with the same struggles, dealing with the same stuff and knowing what works.

    As for the trust thing and people not being who they claim to be, that's another reason for having friends over just the community! The community is the entire MFP population, and accessible by anyone. You can really get to know your own personal MFP friends and understand what their goals are and their determination and progress. I think it's pretty safe to say that everyone on my friends list are clearly here to lose weight and gain health!
  • 123456654321
    123456654321 Posts: 1,311 Member
    Maybe the threads have few replies because most of the replies come in the form of a friend request.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    I personally do not NEED friends to do what I am doing or get where I am. I did all of this and got here all by my little ole self. The friends are not NEEDED, they are WANTED. They are here to help me remember to laugh and stay positive, for support, encouragement, pick me up on my bad days (and the experience I am going through - there have been a few), inspire me motivate me, cheer me on - regardless if they are close or far away.

    So, no. I didn't NEED them, but I sure am GLAD I have them.

    Ditto Bry -- I don't NEED friends ... but they sure do help me get through this fitness thing.

    Ditto.

    Also, I come with a warning, I don't friend people I haven't seen around on my friends' feeds.
  • Qarol
    Qarol Posts: 6,171 Member
    I think it's sad when people start a thread, looking for friends on the internetz.

    I don't need friends. But I need ilookthetype.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused
    Sublimely_Self_Righteousreused Posts: 935 Member
    My friends have been nothing but awesome. It's their humor that keeps me coming back to this site. While I'm here, I might as well track what I eat. It helps me keep on track. Though, it's not helping they are suspended on the forum for two weeks now.
  • bcattoes
    bcattoes Posts: 17,299 Member
    I need people to laugh at my jokes or I will cease to exist.

    Well that made me laugh.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    I think it's sad when people start a thread, looking for friends on the internetz.

    I don't need friends. But I need ilookthetype.

    You got me, Baby. Never doubt that.
  • dls06
    dls06 Posts: 6,774 Member
    My friends have been nothing but awesome. It's their humor that keeps me coming back to this site. While I'm here, I might as well track what I eat. It helps me keep on track. Though, it's not helping they are suspended on the forum for two weeks now.

    :huh: :noway: :laugh:
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
    I think it's sad when people start a thread, looking for friends on the internetz.

    I don't need friends. But I need ilookthetype.

    And I need Bry and Q.
  • cominupmilhouse
    cominupmilhouse Posts: 257 Member
    I think it's sad when people start a thread, looking for friends on the internetz.

    I don't need friends. But I need ilookthetype.


    No, its not sad at all! Don't think of it that way. When I was new to this site I posted an introduction topic hoping to gain some friends with similar goals and stats. I ended up meeting many very supportive people who have helped me immeasurably already and continue to do so daily! They constantly motivate me, inspire me, and give me amazing advice whenever I'm in need. I have lots of friends in real life, of course, but nowhere else would I be able to address some of the issues I need to talk about and get so many responses so fast! It's like my own 24/7 support group! And I also love contributing and helping others when I can!

    There are absolutely major benefits for most people to have MFP friends, I don't really think you can deny that, maybe it just doesn't necessarily appeal to you personally
  • foodcraver
    foodcraver Posts: 16 Member
    Wow, It must be so great not to need the support! Although, sometimes its about giving support too. But... the journey is for you and not others...
    For me personally, I like to see how others are doing. I don't need to keep in contact all the time. I just like the community of everyone striving for a common goal. My "local" friends are not really into fitness, weight loss or eating healthy.
  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    For those that have friends on here, do you also have support in real life. By which I mean family, friends not on this site, etc.? I come from a very big family that is very supportive so maybe that's why I can't grasp the online friends thing.

    Maybe working in IT and constantly being reminded that people online are not necessarily who/what they claim makes me more wary too.

    Or maybe I'm just weird.


    I have a HUGE support system away from here, BUT since those friends and family do not know what it is for me to go through,mentally, emotionally, etc. I have my friends here who understand and GET that part of it. Plus, they all laugh at me and call me a brat, so its like home away from home. I love it.
  • Hellbent_Heidi
    Hellbent_Heidi Posts: 3,669 Member
    One big benefit is that you can kinda brag on here when someone compliments you, or you buy a smaller pair of pants....

    My 'real life' friends that I talk to regularly aren't necessary interested in hearing this all the time, and in one case, I think it pisses her off because she's not losing (not using MFP either....coincidence?). My husband is TOTALLY supportive, and I can brag to him, but this adds another dimension.

    Anyway...since we're all like minded, we LOVE to hear about someone's smaller pants, or new cool food find, or how they caught someone checking them out.....
  • msamcoates
    msamcoates Posts: 261 Member
    Really I need motivation ... and if it is in the form of a friend request then by all means, lets do this ....

    What i need is a workout buddy right here in my own city who doesn't flake out ... NOW THAT IS WHAT I NEED ... and have been having the hardest time finding.
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