Will I Ever Really Make It?

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I have tried this weight loss thing so many times!! Each time I start back up, I think this is it, this is the time I'm going to really do it, this time I will conquer my weight and get healthy....but then something starts to hurt when I'm exercising and I start skipping workouts, or my eating goes off track and then that becomes the norm again. And before I know it, I'm back to not exercising and not eating healthy and not caring. I haven't exercised since Wednesday. And I don't miss it! Today I completely blew it with my food. In fact, I really didn't even consider healthy choices, I just wanted to eat what I wanted. What the hell is wrong with me? Why do I continually sabatoge myself? Why can't I make the choices that I know I need to make. Why am I so lax with exercise? Why am I so pathetic? I just wish something would click inside my brain to make this real for me. I just wonder if I will ever really make it. So many people on here have such incredible stories of weight loss I just want that to happen for me. I want a change, but I really have doubts if I will ever really achieve it. :cry: What should I do differently?

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  • whisperingdragon
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    Don't look back. Look forward. You know what you need to do. Now is the time to do it. Everyone falls off the wagon, it's not the end of the world. Jump back on it and keep hanging on. The ride will be bumpy but you will make it.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    First, lose the doubt. You are in control of your actions. Whether or not you can do this is completely up to you.
  • PennyNickel14
    PennyNickel14 Posts: 749 Member
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    You just keep going! Some days you are going to do great! Some days you are not going to do great! Keep going and tracking!

    Some days you are going to love the exercise. Some days you are going to think it's TORTURE! You just keep doing it!

    Some days you will feel light happy and energetic! Some days you are going to feel tired, burnt out and sad! You just keep going!

    You are worth it!

    Ps - just profile peeked :). You have four kids. You could have a zillion grandchildren in the world to chase (in the future). I can tell by your smile you want to be a grandchild toddler chaser :)
  • sarahsmom1
    sarahsmom1 Posts: 1,501 Member
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    everybody does or will do it were all human if you don't make mistakes you can not have successes
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
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    Go to your doctor. Ask him how long you have to live.

    Thats what my husbands mother did. When he told her she most likely wouldnt be around to see her youngest graduate from college she realized that being there for her children was more important than being able to eat whatever she wanted.

    She lost 125 pounds and is going strong now at 130lbs. :)

    You *can* do this. I am positive that food is probably not on the top of your priority list.

    Edit: And she is indeed chasing her grandchildren, much to her delight!
  • H_Factor
    H_Factor Posts: 1,722 Member
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    you haven't expressed strong enough reasons for being on a healthy lifestyle journey....reasons that would compel you to stay on track. try the activity in my will power blog below and see if you can find powerful enough reasons to keep you on track.
  • peaceinside
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    Make a commitment to yourself first and realize that if you were making that commitment to anyone else for anything you wouldn't break it because that's what a commitment is! Keep coming back here as much as it takes, the support is wonderful and the success stories are inspiring! So first make the commitment, 2nd, keep the commitment! Good luck and we are all here for you!
  • fitzie63
    fitzie63 Posts: 508 Member
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    It's obvious that your mind-set is that you're not totally committed to becoming healthy yet. Perhaps what I will post below might help you. It's what I send to new MFP friends. Read on:


    Welcome to my Heart Healthy World
    The Making of the New You


    Welcome to the beginning of your new, healthier lifestyle. You have embarked on a great program where you are the only one “in charge” of your own personally developed nutrition and exercise program on My Fitness Pal (MFP).

    From my age of 18 until the present, more than a 55 year adult life span, I have lost and re-gained from between 30 to 75 pounds in my life so many times (the yo-yo dieting syndrome), if I had not done that I would weigh over 800 pounds (IF I was still alive).

    On 15 November 2010, a good friend and I were visiting ladies in our church and I was telling her how depressed I was over my frustration in trying to stop being overweight. She told me how one of her adult sons (she & her husband raised 10 children) had lost a whole lot of weight using this free online food and exercise diary program. I went home that afternoon and checked the web site carefully and said, “YES”! I started the program the next morning.

    From that first day, 16 November 2010, I started accurately weighing or measuring (depending upon the food/fluid item), leveling off all excess quantities & recording it all on MFP. You may look at my photos and statistics and scoff while thinking that I didn’t have very much weight to lose. Please consider this, 35 extra pounds on my short, very small body frame is not much different than 75 or even 100 extra pounds on a taller person with a larger body frame. It has taken me more than nine very long, very slow months to shed all but the last 1.1 pounds.

    To begin, you should have the proper tools for accuracy and ease of staying with your program. Those are:

    A digital food scale
    An individual set of 4 measuring cups: ¼ c, 1/3 c, ½ c, 1 c
    An individual set of measuring spoons: ¼ tsp., ½ tsp., 1 tsp., 1 tblsp.
    A small, straight blade spatula or knife for leveling off all excess quantities

    START THINKING DIFFERENTLY but do NOT think “diet”. Use the lighter, lower calorie mayonnaise (that has olive oil). Look at the various brands of lower calorie margarine spreads that also have olive oil. SHOP DIFFERENTLY in the SUPERMARKET. Allow a lot more time when you shop. Do NOT pick up items and put them in the shopping cart until you have carefully READ every single label. REMEMBER THIS: All ingredients are listed in order of highest quantity to lowest. If the first 4 items on the ingredients say: salt, sodium, corn syrup or any form of sugar, dextrose, maltose, or other sugar forms, buy something else. High sodium contents will prevent you from losing weight well & can cause water retention as well as cardiac overload. When we’re packing around all those extra pounds, our hearts are already over-worked. All our body systems work as a team so when one organ system is out of whack, so is everything else. Prepared or frozen foods are nearly always overloaded with sodium and fats. Low calorie is not always low sugar nor low fat. “Healthy” is not always labeled correctly. Once you become an avid “label reading shopper”, you will learn which items work best for you and which ones to avoid.

    Beware of well-meaning family members, friends or even co-workers who think they know what is best for you. You are the only person who knows how you feel and what will help you become successful in achieving your personal healthy goal. I believe in your unique ability to be successful. You can and will succeed if you keep following your program faithfully by taking things one meal at a time/one day at a time on a continuous basis. I have had some former MFP users complain about “too much counting”. It does not take me any more extra time to take the proper measuring spoon to level off my single PORTION of mayonnaise or mustard that it used to by just dipping the spoon in the jar and dumping a lump of stuff on the plate, the food or the bread. Then we have, what I call, the “enablers”. Those are the people who consciously or even sub-consciously, are out to keep you from being successful. They’re the “Oh, just one little piece of this dessert I made just for you won’t hurt you”. Or, I made all your favorite recipes for your birthday, Christmas dinner, etc. Just tell them that you’ve developed some difficult ALLERGIES and are under medical supervision (do not tell them anything more than that). You don’t have to tell them that the “allergies” make you “break out in FAT”. Then we have the proverbial, “You’re getting so thin, you’re going to get sick and end up in the hospital” types. They may even try to carry on by telling medical horror stories how someone they knew who ended up dying because of blah, blah, etc. Change the subject quickly and keep the conversation light and comfortable.

    MFP tells us how much of each items chosen is ONE PORTION. It is up to us to tell the computer how much of the portion we plan to have or did have. I call this program a “no brainer” because the computer does all the work for me. All I have to do is look up the item in the database and select the correct product. Watch out for all the idiots who’ve monkeyed around with the database by putting in their own screwball versions of many items. As you first begin, keep that product label handy as you do your food diary recording so you can check before you add that item to your diary. As time goes on, you’ll understand how this works better.

    You will soon get into the mode of thinking of “eat this…not that” of the items that you enjoy having that are working to help you reach your successful heart healthy ultimate goal.

    GOAL SETTING: Please be extra kind to yourself and not set impossible goals. Think in terms of short-term, reachable goals for now. I started by using Dr. Mehmet Oz’s “Just 10” program, i.e. thinking in terms of just reaching the next set of 10 pounds off short-term goal.

    I’m personally in this for the “long haul”. That means, I will be doing this for the rest of my life as long as the program is available and I have the capability of using it. If I stop keeping a daily food diary or stop weighing, measuring, etc., I know that I’ll end up piling the fat pounds right back on and never get them off again. Last November, I was in a full-blown DIABETES state and was sick all the time. I refuse to put my body through that ever again.

    You WILL be successful because you’re a WINNER. I strongly believe that and believe in your ability to keep on winning.

    Remember, you are in charge~~~no one else can ever take your place!"
  • tish30930
    tish30930 Posts: 77 Member
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    Don't give up! I've been trying to lose X amount of pounds on and off for 10 years now (losing some and gaining it back, never getting to my goal). I keep starting and stopping. But if I don't keep trying I'll NEVER get there. If I keep trying, even when I fail, I still have the chance to get there! The way I sabbotage myself is that I think, well I blew it for today, so I blow the whole day! Thinking I'll start again tomorrow, but it never happens. So I will try to say when I eat all the oreos...(and trust me, I can eat ALL the oreos). That wasn't a good choice. But right now (not tomorrow, not next Monday, not after the party in 3 weeks), RIGHT NOW I will make better choices. Please try! Please try with me! I know we have different goals and different obstacles, but we can try together!
  • karyngrace
    karyngrace Posts: 105 Member
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    what should you different??? stop thinking so negatively, have a bit of faith and challenge yourself! yes...it will be hard.......but aren't all the things worth doing in life done the hard way? weight loss is a slow process and a steep learning curve!!!! but totally achievable!!

    you can do this, I know you can........but you won't loose an ounce without some self belief !! I believe that weight loss starts in the mind, after all the only person that is stopping you from being happy is yourself!

    so hang in there and stick to it......it might just change your life :)
  • Laces_0ut
    Laces_0ut Posts: 3,750 Member
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    ive spent the last 10 years like you described. ill start to lose weight then ill get sick, or go on vacation and never go back to working out. i would start out gung ho and eat very healthy, exercise 6 days a week etc.. but i would begin to burn out and then use one of those excuses to "take a break for a while" and never start back up.

    so THIS time i started just with 3 days of weight lifting. i kept eating fast food/unhealthy food, kept drinking alcohol etc.. then i added in cardio a couple days a week, then i started paying attention to my diet and stop eating fast food..etc..etc.. so after about a month i was doing everything right but since i didnt do it all at once it didnt shock my body like it used to. now i'm 4 months in and i really feel like im in the groove and its going to work this time.

    it helps that i turned 40 this year too. i'm single and i feel like this is my last chance to get in shape, find a girlfriend etc...
  • Leola2011
    Leola2011 Posts: 192
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    I hate to see you talking so badly to yourself. You're saying things to yourself that I bet you'd NEVER say to your children! And I bet you wouldn't stand for anyone else to talk to your babies the way you're talking to yourself. You're feeling sad right now, fair enough. I think that's something most of us can relate to at some point on this journey.

    I've often thought like you in that I have wished something would just click in my mind to make me change once and for all. Here's what I've learned....That "click" has to happen every day. It's not just a one-time event and you're off and running forever. Every single day of the week the decision has to be made to live a healthy life, however you choose to do it for you.

    For some people, they choose to eat whatever they want, when they want, in reasonable portions. Some choose to eliminate certain things from their diet altogether and never turn back to them. Others, like myself, count meticulously for 6 days out of the week and choose a spike day once a week in which they chuck the numbers completely. But whatever you choose, it's a one day at a time thing. And some days are simply easier than others. No harm, no foul.

    But I hope that you quickly realize how great it is for you to keep stepping up to the plate (double entendre not intended). You keep going up to bat. There's something to be said for that. This is the longest I've ever stuck with a weight loss and fitness plan. I can't say that it's because I had this grand "light bulb" moment go off in my head. It is truly a matter of putting one foot in front of the other and pressing forward, sometimes on an hour to hour basis.

    Write yourself a permission slip every now and again, and allow yourself to speak life over your endeavor.
  • meex
    meex Posts: 135 Member
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    I put a motivational message on my fridge and cupboard and everytime i go to get something out of boredum i read them and it helps. one says something along the lines of; the only time it's too late to change yourself is when your dead and the other says it comes down to what you really want in life and what you are willing to do to get it.

    Be harsh on yourself because the only person you are lying and cheating on is yourself.