smarter than this

mylifex2
mylifex2 Posts: 19
edited October 4 in Introduce Yourself
so it started when I lost 20 lbs over the course of like a year...keep in mind, I needed to lose about 150 lbs to have a normal BMI....so then I started seeing pics of myself...really looking at them, and decided that I needed to step this up....over the summer I lost about 30 more lbs...I was cutting back but not going crazy...weighed my self once or twice a week....but the scales definitely dictated my mood...people were noticing by now...about a month ago I started eating very very little...I joined this site to keep track of what i eat, calories and such...over the past 3 weeks I have dropped another 20 lbs...I eat very little...I have started feeling very guilting when I eat...but lately I am actually not even hungry most of the time...I can't seem to allow myself to eat over 800 calories a day...usually around 650... i am only comfortable eating something if I know exactly how many calories are in the food I am eating. I don't know how this happened, except I am very self critical...I did have an eating disorder back in my 20's for several years, so I guess I am predisposed to this type of thing...but I am afraid I am gonna go crazy over this....yet I am afraid to give it up. I know its a control thing...things are quite out of control in many areas of my life right now (lots of stress I can't control)...anyone else strugging like this? I feel like I should ask for help, but part of me feels that a professional would just think that I shouldn't be eating much because I am still so overweight.......just struggling...

Replies

  • kimmysue
    kimmysue Posts: 20 Member
    I would really encourage you to talk to a professional. I just don't think eating 650-800 calories a day is healthy, no matter what your weight is. Especially since you mentioned having an eating disorder before. Good luck!!
  • Jeannelin
    Jeannelin Posts: 35
    It sounds a lot to me like OCD. talk to your doctor Monday and get it taken care of.
  • chubiD
    chubiD Posts: 260
    I totally understand what you say! I think that going to counseling sessions with someone that specializes in nutrition/eating disorders and such could be helpful for you.

    MPF has been a great help for me, because it helped me open my eyes; some years ago I lost ~25 lbs by eating too little, and at some point I got "scared" of food. Now I'm learning how to do this in a healthy way, and it feels great. Still, I have a hard time sleeping tight the night before my weigh in (I weigh myself every Friday morning)

    The take-home lesson here is: you are not alone!!

    Good luck :)
  • Chunky_As_Charged
    Chunky_As_Charged Posts: 64
    Based off of what you've said, in my humble opinion, I think you should seek help of some sort - even if it's going to see a therapist about how to better cope with the non-food related stress in your life. But you NEED to tell that person that you are slipping back into having an eating disorder. Even people who are overweight can have them, and it's okay to admit that you have one when you're getting help. It's really not healthy to eat any less than 1200 calories in a day. Your body will eventually not be able to function with less for long periods of time.

    Please seek out some professional help. You might have to go through a therapist or two to find the person that you feel comfortable with, but it will be worth it. You have to take care of yourself - excess fat and all.

    Best of luck. Feel free to add me or message me if you ever need any more support from someone on here.
  • MlleDee
    MlleDee Posts: 90 Member
    Here is some good advice I got. Weight loss doesn't solve everything.

    Most people gain weight for a reason, emotional eating, depression, mental issues, trauma, hormonal fluxes, etc.

    Even if you lose the weight, you will still have to eventually take care of the underlying problem. It sounds like you're at that point now.

    Trust me, a good health professional, won't blow you off just because your still heavy. Anyone should be concerned with the amount of calories you are taking in.

    Once again to me it sounds like you have the weight loss down, now you need to take care of the root problem. Don't stress, their are a lot of other people, myself included, in a similar situation.

    You can do it, but you probably will need help.
    Best of luck!
  • mylifex2
    mylifex2 Posts: 19
    thank you
  • mylifex2
    mylifex2 Posts: 19
    Tonight I ate dinner with my kids. I ate from all the food groups. I actually allowed myself to enjoy my dinner even though I went a little over my calorie goal for this meal. I am still restricting, but today I actually allowed myself to be more nourished. I did compensate with some excercise, but nothing stringent. Overall a good day for me.
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