My ego just got kicked in the shins!

Lauren882
Lauren882 Posts: 102
edited September 19 in Motivation and Support
So, just a little back story. I started going to a trainer at my gym back in September and it's actually been great. Recently, my boss asked if he could go with me to the gym sometime and eventually signed up with my trainer too. Great, right? Perfect.

BUT! I go out to dinner with my trainer and my boss last night and while he and I are waiting on our food, I'm telling him how I'm horrible at balancing in yoga. He says to me, in a nonchalant way, "Well, that's because you're like me. We both have too much hanging over the sides."

Umm, I'm sorry? I worked hard to get to this size 14, I've lost 43lbs! I'm still at it! Does he just think that because he tags along to the gym with me that he can just say whatever he wants and it doesn't matter????? That it won't hurt really bad! Well it did!

Now, I have to pretend like it totally didn't matter & of all people MY BOSS said it. Nobody should say that, even a workout partner! What in the world!?!?!

Replies

  • Lauren882
    Lauren882 Posts: 102
    So, just a little back story. I started going to a trainer at my gym back in September and it's actually been great. Recently, my boss asked if he could go with me to the gym sometime and eventually signed up with my trainer too. Great, right? Perfect.

    BUT! I go out to dinner with my trainer and my boss last night and while he and I are waiting on our food, I'm telling him how I'm horrible at balancing in yoga. He says to me, in a nonchalant way, "Well, that's because you're like me. We both have too much hanging over the sides."

    Umm, I'm sorry? I worked hard to get to this size 14, I've lost 43lbs! I'm still at it! Does he just think that because he tags along to the gym with me that he can just say whatever he wants and it doesn't matter????? That it won't hurt really bad! Well it did!

    Now, I have to pretend like it totally didn't matter & of all people MY BOSS said it. Nobody should say that, even a workout partner! What in the world!?!?!
  • JasonArmbruster
    JasonArmbruster Posts: 52
    geesh... what a thing to say...
  • aprilvet
    aprilvet Posts: 724 Member
    I feel for you!:noway: :flowerforyou: That kind of thing can be really hard to deal with. However, out to dinner with your trainer and boss sounds entirely social, so those personal/professional boundaries are blurred. If that kind of personal level is uncomfortable, maybe avoid social situations with your boss.
  • fishernd
    fishernd Posts: 140 Member
    Wow. What an insensitive thing to say! Foot in mouth for sure! My boss goes to the same gym as me and I see him there all the time. He's really supportive (he recently lost about 30 pounds) and also I think flexible in letting me leave work early to make it to my bootcamp sessions! Wishing you best of luck with yours!
  • paddlemom
    paddlemom Posts: 682 Member
    It's amazing how people can say stuff that just cuts to the quick, without even realizing they did it.

    I'm not defending your boss, but here's some thoughts that might help you feel less hurt....

    1) I'm pretty sure your boss has noticed how well working with your trainer has been going, which is why he wanted to join you!
    2) "Misery loves company" so comment on BOTH of your weights was probably easier to acknowledge. Buddying up at the gym has raised the level of closeness in your friendship where he probably more comfortable with a "nudge-nudge-wink-wink" type of comment and didn't think anything of it
    3) I can never think of the right come back in the moment, but I would like to think I would have said something like "Yep, and if you keep working with our trainer, you can be like me and have FAR LESS hanging over in 6 months!"
    4)If he has never seriously worked at this, he has NO idea yet just how hard you have worked and what a big accomplishment you have made.

    Having been a "fat kid" all my life, part of my work-in-progress is learning how to desensitize myself from those weight related comments that really aren't meant to be demeaning. We give ourselves enough grief without letting others do it too, so, I'm hoping that putting a positive spin on this will help boost your ego back up to where it belongs. BIG YAY for the size 14!!! Don't let anyone kill your buzz:drinker:
  • OneMission
    OneMission Posts: 160 Member
    That certainly wasn't an appropriate thing to say...insert foot in mouth is right!

    I'm thinking he was feeling bad about himself and needed to put someone else down to feel better :noway:

    To heck with him...you are doing a great job! Keep it up!!! :drinker:
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