Desperate for help. When did losing weight start to click fo
missxlaur
Posts: 286
Hi MFP friends,
I'm in a bit of a bind here and I'm hoping that your wisdom can help me out.
I feel like I am constantly in this up and down roller coaster of eating and weight loss. I've been on MFP for probably over a year now and my net weight loss in that time definitely isn't what I need. I lost 20 lbs pretty quickly, and I've been stagnant for close to a year.
I eat really well during the week. Being on a schedule at work, working out, coming home, having a light dinner is all really easy for me during the week. The structure makes it easy. On weekends though, I self-sabotage. I eat and eat and eat and probably eat so much that I'm counter-acting all the great work I did all week. The worst part is, I go into every weekend telling myself I'm going to change. I tell myself that this weekend I will eat well. I almost feel like if I have one weekend where I eat well that it will be easier for me to continue to do so. Even as I eat poorly on weekends, I'm telling myself that I know it's bad for me, that it's not aligned with my goals.
When will my weight loss be more important than weekend eating and drinking? What helped you decide to have it be more important? When did your weight loss click for you? How did it click for you? When did your healthy lifestyle become the most important thing in your life, and not take a backseat to social eating and drinking and unstructured weekend binges? I'm just looking for some guidance here, so any advice any of you have about how you finally took hold of your weight loss and healthy lifestyle would be much appreciated.
Thanks everyone,
Lauren
I'm in a bit of a bind here and I'm hoping that your wisdom can help me out.
I feel like I am constantly in this up and down roller coaster of eating and weight loss. I've been on MFP for probably over a year now and my net weight loss in that time definitely isn't what I need. I lost 20 lbs pretty quickly, and I've been stagnant for close to a year.
I eat really well during the week. Being on a schedule at work, working out, coming home, having a light dinner is all really easy for me during the week. The structure makes it easy. On weekends though, I self-sabotage. I eat and eat and eat and probably eat so much that I'm counter-acting all the great work I did all week. The worst part is, I go into every weekend telling myself I'm going to change. I tell myself that this weekend I will eat well. I almost feel like if I have one weekend where I eat well that it will be easier for me to continue to do so. Even as I eat poorly on weekends, I'm telling myself that I know it's bad for me, that it's not aligned with my goals.
When will my weight loss be more important than weekend eating and drinking? What helped you decide to have it be more important? When did your weight loss click for you? How did it click for you? When did your healthy lifestyle become the most important thing in your life, and not take a backseat to social eating and drinking and unstructured weekend binges? I'm just looking for some guidance here, so any advice any of you have about how you finally took hold of your weight loss and healthy lifestyle would be much appreciated.
Thanks everyone,
Lauren
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Replies
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When will my weight loss be more important than weekend eating and drinking? What helped you decide to have it be more important?
I won't be of any help, but I think you are asking the right questions, so in that regard, good for you.
I think that in some situations, people fail because of improper dieting techniques or poor strategy, but in some cases I think they fail simply because they "don't want it badly enough".
Maybe you just don't want it badly enough?0 -
It has never just "clicked" for me. I had to move my weigh in date to Sunday so I don't over eat ALL weekend...because I would do the same thing as you! Now, I am on week 2. I eat great all week and then Sunday morning, I weigh in and use Sunday as my "cheat day" then am back on track Monday. Eating always has been...and always will be an everyday struggle for me. good luck to you.0
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Nutrition is key to everything in this field. You can run and run and run and lift weights but at the end of the week if you are eating trash, it is basically not doing you any favors. I know this as I have a once a week trash day and I know that even that one day a week can hold me back from any benefits... it's just that I actively choose to do it because I love food (that's how I got to be fat in the first place)
You have to ask yourself what you want more.0 -
Have you considered putting more 'structure' into your weekends. Structure appears to be why you are successful and on track through the week.0
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Sidesteal really? it has nothing to do with "wanting it badly" it has to do with self control....Plan your meals on friday night when u get home from work for the weekend i find that helps me though the weekend.....pre prepared meals help me alot0
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Sidesteal really? it has nothing to do with "wanting it badly" it has to do with self control....Plan your meals on friday night when u get home from work for the weekend i find that helps me though the weekend.....pre prepared meals help me alot
I am not accusing, I am asking a question. It "may" have to do with wanting it badly enough. It may be an issue of self control, it may be a combination of both.0 -
The reason it never clicked for me before was because I never thought I could lose weight. I moved to a new country, got a new job, just the life style alone changed so much. I hopped on a scale and I was down 7 pounds in 2 weeks! I realised I can lose weight, I just never REALLY tried. That was 3 months ago, I'm now down 30 pounds and I'm never going back.0
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I kind of know where you're at (I lost a similar amount of weight, have been stagant for ages, am careful during the week).
I think when I lost the weight originally I was *super* motivated. Now I'm close to goal I've probably 'relaxed' a bit, and it's hard to turn down the social events at the weekend, that usually come with food and drink. That said I don't go crazy, and I'm much more sensible than I used to be – but at such a small deficit it's easy for me to undo the week's work with one meal.
I try and simply do more exercise at the weekend so that the extra food doesn't impact so much. Can you do that? Fit in an extra hour each day to exercise?0 -
Thanks everyone for the great advice. It's really making me feel more confident already.
Maggieq87: I too feel like I'll never be able to really lose weight. Maybe believing that I can will be the first real step.
Sidesteal: I know you weren't accusing, and I think on some level you're right. Maybe I don't want it bad enough if I can't sacrifice for it.
lynzyn: I really like your idea of planning my weekend meals out on Friday night. That will definitely help add structure to my weekends, which is what I really feel is lacking.
dunkirk: I think you're really hitting the nail on the head about weekend structure.0 -
It has never just "clicked" for me. I had to move my weigh in date to Sunday so I don't over eat ALL weekend...because I would do the same thing as you! Now, I am on week 2. I eat great all week and then Sunday morning, I weigh in and use Sunday as my "cheat day" then am back on track Monday. Eating always has been...and always will be an everyday struggle for me. good luck to you.
This is exactly what I was going to say! I use Monday morning as my weigh-in time. Since I know I always have and always will have an every day struggle with food, this helps me stay on track over the weekend. I also weigh myself on Friday morning. Since I pretty consistantly eat well during the week, typically my weight is good on Friday. This also helps motivate me to do well over the weekend. Good luck :flowerforyou:0 -
Hey Lauren,
I am totally where you are and i thank you for bringing up some great questions that i have not yet asked myself.
It is all great advice that you have received so far. It definitely seems like structure in your weekend would help. My worst time seems to be the evening snacking especially on weekends. Im a bit too relaxed with it and especially when me and my son have movie time, which we do every week, the healthy eating goes straight out the window.
I wish you luck and hope you find the advice you need. This is a very useful post for me also. Oh and weigh ins on a Sunday what a great idea!
:happy:0 -
I find that when I can structure my dieting and my eating around my day i find it much easier. When i get to work at 8.40 that is just enough time to eat my breakfast and then start working, my 15 minutes break at 11a.m. is just enough time to eat a yoghurt and some fruit, my hour for lunch is just enough time to eat my salad, drink 2 pint glasses of water and catch up on emails etc, I grab a quick 10 minutes in the afternoon usually around 3 and have a smoothie and a piece of fruit or some crackers and hummus, then I finish work, head straight to the gym, then I get home wrecked from my day and have just enough time to eat my dinner. At the weekends I find I have more time than I know what to do with and while I might be busy sometimes I found I was too busy to eat structured meals and ended up stuffing my face at one point during the day or I'd be having such a quiet weekend that I'd be gobbling food just because I was bored.
I don't go to the gym at the weekend unless I miss a weekday (I go everyday Monday-Friday). I know this will sound so cliched but I found structuring my weekend helped me a lot. What I mean by this is that I make sure I get up at the same time on Saturday and Sunday and eat breakfast because I think this gets my body going along the same track that it's on during the week when i eat like clockwork.
About an hour before I'm schedule to eat my lunch/dinner or have a snack I do something, like go out and run around with my dog for a while or go for a walk or sort the washing and i put on a timer on my phone so that when the timer goes off I get myself straight in the kitchen and make something to eat and I am feeling that bit hungrier because I've been doing something rather than just lounging around. The timer thing really helps though. It snaps me out of my weekend buzz and reminds me i have to keep up my good work.
If I'm staying in on a Saturday i do find that I'll be planning on nachos or something bold so I take time on saturday and chop up carrots to have with hummus and have them ready in the fridge so I can't moan about how preparing a healthy snack will take time because it's just there ready.
Part of my Sunday is taken up with preparing my salad veg and my soup veg for the week so not only does that take up time where I could be stuffing my face, it also puts all this healthy food right in front of me and makes it hard to think about chocolate when you're facing with loads of chopped up veggies.0 -
I try and simply do more exercise at the weekend so that the extra food doesn't impact so much. Can you do that? Fit in an extra hour each day to exercise?
I'll have to make myself do that. I'm vowing to workout 4 times this week, and both days on the weekends. I feel like i have to. Also, if I know I have to workout on the weekends I feel like I'm more likely not to drink heavily. No one wants to workout hungover or dehydrated0 -
I agree with Dunkirk. One thing that has really helped with my weekends is trying to plan as well as I can. If I know I'm going out with my friends later, I try to eat light and got some exericse in. Also, when I go out, I try to make good choices with food and not overdo it with the drinking (being DD helps with this - gives you an excuse to be good if your friends pressure you). It's acutally something I learned while on WW. Just because you're not the one doing the cooking and cleaning doesn't mean you can eat and drink like there's no tomorrow. It's just another meal in the grand scheme of things and should be treated as such. You can still have fun and enjoy an evening out without going completely overboard.
And actually I do agree with sidesteal a little too. It may be harsh but if you want it badly enough, you will make the necessary changes. That doesn't mean you have to change your whole life, just make little tweaks and changes so you can be healthy and still enjoy everything.0 -
Without seeing your diary this advice may be null and void...but is it possible you are being too super strict on the week days which is causing you to rebel on the weekends? Maybe, if you ease up on the gas a little during the week, you won't take your foot completely off the pedal on the weekends?0
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Thanks everyone for the great advice. It's really making me feel more confident already.
Maggieq87: I too feel like I'll never be able to really lose weight. Maybe believing that I can will be the first real step.
Sidesteal: I know you weren't accusing, and I think on some level you're right. Maybe I don't want it bad enough if I can't sacrifice for it.
lynzyn: I really like your idea of planning my weekend meals out on Friday night. That will definitely help add structure to my weekends, which is what I really feel is lacking.
dunkirk: I think you're really hitting the nail on the head about weekend structure.
The point I am dancing around is for you to evaluate why losing weight, or getting in shape, is valuable to you and you need to decide HOW valuable it is. I think this will help drive you to make better choices, or at the very least, give you some clarity on what's important in your life. You may conclude that your weekend activities are more valuable to you right now, and if you do, then good for you as this is your choice to make.0 -
To add to the great ideas already posted here, do you have your diary open for your friends? That bit of accountability could also really help. Let your friends know to get on your back if you overeat. And, if you don't log everything, you might get a nasty guilty feeling that you're lying to everyone (at least that's how I feel if I realize I failed to log that one snack)0
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One day I woke up and I realized I was killing my body. I realized that every processed, fast food, junk, pizza, chocolate, garbage the I was putting my my mouth was showing up in my apperance.... I realized that I was dying from the inside from the fuel I was putting in.... So I did research and I basically scared myself in to eating healthy. Look up things about processed foods or what ever it is that you over indulge in. It really helped for me to become educated on health and nutrition to realize that I needed to treat my body better.0
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Thanks so much everyone. I do have my diary open but I'm not always good about logging on weekends (usually because I'm so embarrassed about how I'm eating). I should just realize that if I'm embarrassed about how I'm eating, I'm not eating well enough to lose weight! I definitely need to evaluate how important this weight loss really is for me. And if I decide it's the most important thing in my life right now, I need to treat it that way and act accordingly. Saying that weight loss is super important and then treating my body like crap does not line up, and it only makes me feel worse. It makes me feel like I'm lying to myself. I want to take pride in my body and my lifestyle. I just need to take the first hard steps on the weekends and learn to say no, to myself and to others.
Thanks again everyone0 -
Maybe you're a downtime eater and you don't want to be "aware" during your downtime. Maybe you want to escape? Is there a way to escape without food? Maybe you can think of lots of ways to give yourself treats (massages,"guilty-pleasure" movies, time set aside for an absorbing, beloved hobby) without food, so you can escape and fill your soul instead of your stomach.
You also seem a bit obsessed with the thought that if only you could conquer the weekend, you would be good. Why not try breaking the weekend up into smaller bits of time? Then you can extend your good times gradually. For example, one weekend you might be able to add Saturday Morning to the good week. The next weekend you might be able to add all of Saturday until supper. And if you mess up Saturday, you have all of Sunday to be good and start off your next healthy week. You might find that you are really only eating poorly for six hours every Saturday. Then be extra-vigilant during those tempting hours.
Also, what about promising yourself a little reward on Sunday evening if you do a good job? (It could even be a food reward. Eating a well-earned plate of Nachos or Hot Fudge Sundae is better than eating ALL weekend. Then maybe later you could switch it to a non-food reward.)
Be kind to yourself! If you're eating well all week, and not so well on the weekend, or part of the weekend, then you are eating well over 70% of the time, and that's great!0 -
even though I balooned up to nearly 500 lbs. I never cared till I finally developed diabetes back in 2009. It's been non stop for me. I reversed the diabetes when I lost a little over 100 lbs. I could have stopped. but I figured I came this far, lets see how far I can go!
you need to find the reason for you. for me it was getting diabetes.0 -
For me .. i learned how to make some yummmy but really healthy recipes.. and now that i eat healthier thats what my body craves instead of junk. Just find yummy meals and snacks to make that are good for you. and then the pounds started shedding. Its making me feel so good im automatically focused proud and determined0
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Sidesteal really? it has nothing to do with "wanting it badly" it has to do with self control....Plan your meals on friday night when u get home from work for the weekend i find that helps me though the weekend.....pre prepared meals help me alot
I am not accusing, I am asking a question. It "may" have to do with wanting it badly enough. It may be an issue of self control, it may be a combination of both.
arent self control and 'wanting it' essentially the same thing? if you want it badly enough you will have the self control to get what you want?0 -
It has never "clicked" for me either... I have struggled all my life with my weight. When I would try to loose weight I would never have the support from my husband. He was my worst enemy because I would buy the healthier items for me but STILL HAD to buy the unhealthier things for him and my kids. They just never got how having that food in the house is such a temptation and made it difficult for to be true to myself. I have will power and I can resist lots of things but it makes it so much easier if those items were not ALWAYS around. We have a neighbor that has been doing MFP for a while now and he lost about 55 lbs. My husband took note of this and then HE WANTED TO JOIN. He did and then next week I did (I had to make sure he was commited to this too). So now I buy more healthy items and not all the high calories foods as before. We still have "junk food" in our pantry, with 2 growing boys you gotta have SOME things for them, but I have cut down or switched items they eat as well. Since I now have the support of my husband it is easier to stay on track, although he tends to use the weekends to "eat more". And it has now become a small compitition between me and him on "how much have you lost"? I just wish I could get him to exercise more, but a knee injury is making it difficult for him to do certain things, and also to drink more water. Is there anyone in your family or friends that can you compete against? Who worked out longer on any given day? Who lost more this week? Who drank more water...etc? I am very competitive so this helps me STAY ON TRACK ON WEEKENDS when I see him eating something that he shouldn't. It has helped me and right now I am in the lead with the most weight loss, but barely, but still I am in the lead- Good luck!0
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arent self control and 'wanting it' essentially the same thing? if you want it badly enough you will have the self control to get what you want?
That's a good question.
Here's my opinion on that matter:
I think it depends. I think plenty of people want it bad enough but choose poor dietary methods and end up losing self control despite their best interest. For example, people who try and eliminate too many foods and create massive deficits.
I think there are all kinds of reasons for failure when it comes to weightloss. As of now, I think a lot of them center around poor methodology, but certainly not all of them. "Wanting it" is definitely part of the equation and I absolutely believe it's a very important puzzle-piece.0 -
Sidesteal really? it has nothing to do with "wanting it badly" it has to do with self control....Plan your meals on friday night when u get home from work for the weekend i find that helps me though the weekend.....pre prepared meals help me alot
Exactly. This sounds like a good idea!0 -
I try and simply do more exercise at the weekend so that the extra food doesn't impact so much. Can you do that? Fit in an extra hour each day to exercise?
I'll have to make myself do that. I'm vowing to workout 4 times this week, and both days on the weekends. I feel like i have to. Also, if I know I have to workout on the weekends I feel like I'm more likely not to drink heavily. No one wants to workout hungover or dehydrated
Exactly. I plan a run every sunday and it at least stops me drinking on a saturday, so that's some damage limitation! x0 -
What if you decide to eat healthy on Sundays but you leave Saturday as your "whatever I want" day. Then if that is successful you could limit it to just half the day Saturday. And gradually you could eliminate it altogether.0
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I think it also helps that I am doing my workouts and my food diary on here with a friend. I know that she is working as hard as I am at losing some weight before Christmas and I don't want to let her or myself down. We are trying to stay motivated for each other. So maybe find a good friend to help keep you on track during the weekends-to work out with or to plan your meals with. Also, going out on the weekends is when I wear my "fun" clothes. I HAVE to get back in those cute jeans and tight shirts! So that helps to motivate me not getting too crazy on the weekends. But I agree, you need to have one day a week where you "cheat" one or two meals so you don't crave it so bad during the week and are less likely to cheat then. Good luck and stay strong!0
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