Marriage Counseling

WarriorMom2012
WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
edited October 2024 in Chit-Chat
Worth the money or waste of time? And go...

Replies

  • bry_all01
    bry_all01 Posts: 3,100 Member
    mine was 4 sessions free with my company's insurance policy, but still worth it to me. If it is between walking away or giving it a shot, I'd say its definitely worth it, if there is any little shred of hope left....
  • chevy88grl
    chevy88grl Posts: 3,937 Member
    Well.. for me, by the time counseling was brought up -- it was too far gone. It would have been a waste of our time, our money and the counselor's time.
  • garlic7girl
    garlic7girl Posts: 2,236 Member
    One of my friends: she and her husband do marriage counseling at their church...24 hour access too. She told us it is hard work but they have not lost a couple yet. I guess my thing is we work HARD to lose weight and stay healthy, for our careers, to get material things so why not a marriage?!
  • amymeenieminymo
    amymeenieminymo Posts: 2,394 Member
    It depends how badly the parties involved want to make it work. If both people are not on board, it can be a waste of time, but then again when it comes to the possibility of ending something like a marriage, I would try anything and everything before I gave up.

    Also kind of depends on the counselor. I once saw a counselor who clearly did not like my significant other, and made it clear that she thought I was stupid for staying with him. NOT a good counselor and she was basically not doing her job at all.
  • rockerbabyy
    rockerbabyy Posts: 2,258 Member
    i would say it depends on a few things. do both parties agree to it? are both willing to work on the relationship (or even admit theyre doing something wrong). its a lot of hard work and it takes time..if both people arent willing to try then it would be a waste ot time and money.
  • pain_is_weakness
    pain_is_weakness Posts: 798 Member
    It can never make things worse, it will only bring the truth about your marriage to light. If it fails you can walk away knowing you did everything! If it works, well, you can never put any amount of money on that. I might suggest going to individual couseling also, doing both makes everything more rounded
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    hubby and i took dance lessons together and we needed therapy afterward. lol. it would have been a good investment.
  • Jade_Butterfly
    Jade_Butterfly Posts: 2,963 Member
    I say it is worthy trying to save your marriage. . The best of luck to you!
  • _Timmeh_
    _Timmeh_ Posts: 2,096 Member
    Divorce is more expensive and harder than the counseling...so yes.
  • Cooriander
    Cooriander Posts: 2,848 Member
    Definitely worth it, even if you don't think there is hope. AND be picky with picking a good one - you know at once if it is a good one, then stick with it for several months.

    Some would say that divorce is easier, and that marriage is hard. Counseling can put it back on track and make that the easier option in the end... but you have to do the work.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    i say do all you can to make it work.... if it doesnt work you know you did everything you could
  • whisperingdragon
    whisperingdragon Posts: 334
    It depends upon the couple. It's a case by case basis. It may be worth it for some, and for others it may be just a huge waste of time.
  • juliecat1
    juliecat1 Posts: 3,450 Member
    its worth a shot. If you walk away from the marriage, youd feel better knowing you at least tried everything you could. If nothing else, get individual counseling. Trust me on that one, you wont regret it.
  • i_love_vinegar
    i_love_vinegar Posts: 2,092 Member
    I think it depends on WHY you are considering divorce (Im assuming).

    If he or she:
    -is physically abusive
    -is involved in illegal activity (and not something small like smoking some marijuana)
    -has mental issues (ex is watching extremely disturbed porn)

    etc...

    I dont think it is even worth spending the TIME on this person...it is too dangerous ^^

    If it is for relatively normal reasons, I would suggest going, however, unless you hate this person so much...
    Because if it works out, Yay!
    And if it doesn't work out, you dont have to think back, "What if...?"


    Good luck~ :)
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Worth the money or waste of time? And go...
    Great feedback here. I agree that it really helps if both people are committed to counseling. It's tough when only one person is into it and/or one person is identified as "the problem."

    Also, make sure you interview counselors when possible. People fall into this mindset with certain professions (doctors and counselors especially) that because someone has a degree or title, they are right - or the right fit. But there are bad counselors out there. Just like bad doctors.

    Make sure you and your partner are on board with the idea of counseling. Then be willing to interview three or more counselors if you can. I suggest allowing whomever is least interested in counseling have the final say on the counselor.

    Also, I highly recommend NOT using an individual counselor as a marriage counselor. That is, Bob is seeing counselor Janet individually. Bob and his partner/wife decide on couples counseling. Janet can recommend someone, but don't go see Janet as a couple.

    You are asking if counseling is worth the money or a waste of time. You don't give much context to go on. Answering your question as you've written it, I'd say yes, counseling is worth the money. Having a trained, impartial third party to facilitate communication between two people that may be having some communication difficulties can be a great tool for a relationship.

    Whether counseling is worth the money or a waste of time for you is another question altogether. Often individual counseling is a better solution - especially at first. Good luck with whatever you decide.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    If you're interested in having someone educated and trained to understand common relationship issues to give you advice about working through your individual issues so that your relationship can function better, yes it's worth it. If you already feel like you should be moving on from this relationship, then no - it's not worth it. It's better to just move on. I'm not an advocate for marriage period, but I am an advocate for healthy people in healthy relationships.
  • ABetterBalance
    ABetterBalance Posts: 298
    I have been told that, if both couples are open to counseling and willing to work hard, it can be 100% worth it.

    My husband and I went once. I had to drag him there and, needless to say, that wasn't very productive. Counseling isn't the answer for us, as long as he is so resistant to the idea.
  • livnlite
    livnlite Posts: 520
    It depends how badly the parties involved want to make it work. If both people are not on board, it can be a waste of time, but then again when it comes to the possibility of ending something like a marriage, I would try anything and everything before I gave up.

    Also kind of depends on the counselor. I once saw a counselor who clearly did not like my significant other, and made it clear that she thought I was stupid for staying with him. NOT a good counselor and she was basically not doing her job at all.

    Wow .. THAT is an understatement. If I'm not mistaken, a counselor is not supposed to react and become judgemental. They are SUPPOSED to bring you both down to a common ground, where communication is opened up. If your counselor becomes judgemental ... your case hasn't got a chance. I'm glad to hear you recognized that she may just be a bad counselor (and given your description, I use that term loosely). Some people choose careers for all the wrong reasons, and some choose careers they just simply are not cut out for.

    Problem is .. when someone reluctantly enters into counseling .. and has an experience like THAT .. It can further lend evidence that therapy is good for nothing. THAT experience can be more damaging than the original problem. I hope you were able to find a better 'go between'.
  • frmeital
    frmeital Posts: 36
    Actually I recently saw a survey made to answer this excact question, and this is where you can find it:

    www.how-to-save-marriage.org/marriage-counseling-does-it-work/
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    It's only worth it, if both parties want to work it out. If one person is dragging the other person to the counseling in the hopes of changing behavioral problems, you're just adding debt to your list of problems.

    Making a relationship is hard work. It takes the 100% cooperation of both persons involved. Anything less and you're just bullsh*tting yourself.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I think it depends on the individuals. How far gone are things? Are both parties going to be honest?

    Myself I didn't go. Because I knew I was done, and my manipulative ex was only going to make things worse.

    If there is love left, and I mean any. I'd go.
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