he left

laurenpence
laurenpence Posts: 147
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
2 weeks ago my husband after almost 6 years decided he didnt want to be married to me anymore. That me and our two little girls and the house we made a home was not what he wanted. So now I am having touble finding my hardcore motivation to get into shape. Life is so stressful right now, I dont eat or sleep and now I am falling behind on my workouts and school work. I am dropping weight because I cant eat, but it doesnt feel healthy so I am just down in the dumps. It just seems like everything is falling apart on me. I dont know how to get motivated with all thats going on. I love to run and tried to this morning but it lasted about 5 minutes, not my usual 60 minute run thats for sure. I feel hurt and numb all at the same time. Its hard to explain i guess. Just had to vent a little
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Replies

  • SarahMorganP
    SarahMorganP Posts: 921 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear this. :( You might want to look into getting some therapy, or at least talk with your doctor.
  • Hbartels
    Hbartels Posts: 19 Member
    Don't be hard on yourself for not putting fitness on your priority list during difficult times. You're emotional health should be number one now, because it is far more fragile. I cannot recommend a good therapist highly enough to get you through these trying times.

    Best wishes.
  • Misiaxcore
    Misiaxcore Posts: 659 Member
    Just remember it's his loss. Things will reach a new 'normal' soon enough. Just trying to establish a healthy routine and try your best to stick to it.
  • LivLovLrn
    LivLovLrn Posts: 580 Member
    I agree, you need to talk to some one. So sorry for your pain...praying for you and your little ones
  • Mrsbelch
    Mrsbelch Posts: 6
    Thats really awful and I'm so sorry to hear it. For me, when I'm down, I know that exercise is the best thing for me. It's hard to do but I push myself and use that time to work out a lot of the frustrations that might be going on in my head. I would just do a little each day until it just becomes routine. Same with the eating. I guess one way to look at it is you need to be healthy for your kids so try to concentrate on that.
  • LadyGhostDuchess
    LadyGhostDuchess Posts: 894 Member
    It is heartbreaking to read this.
    I am truly sorry that he left you, it is his loss I assure you. You seem like you have a good head on your shoulder, you just need to find yourself a strong support system. I am willing to be a support system to you, send me a friends request!
    I will gladly help you get your motivation in gear. I know what it is like to go through an emotional trauma like this and I know it is hard but with the right friends you can get through it. I really want to help you get through this.
    You are beautiful
    You are strong
    You can do anything and I assure you of that!
  • Puffins1958
    Puffins1958 Posts: 614 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear this. :( You might want to look into getting some therapy, or at least talk with your doctor.
    I agree, I think you should get some help. I think it's the best thing for you right now. Your daughters need you right now, even if there father doesn't appear to want them. They need someone to be strong for them right now, that's you. I wish you the best of everything during this difficult time in your life.
  • mrmarius
    mrmarius Posts: 1,802 Member
    sorry to hear that, take a day or two to not worry about working out as you have to deal with the emotional blow that came with that, then as you get back into working out use it as a form of catharsis but certainly dont get too worried about your workout
  • timothyjkiser
    timothyjkiser Posts: 85 Member
    Sorry to hear about your troubles. I'd talk to a Dr to get to a therapist. This is something that you are not dealing with very well on your own and you may need a crutch (person) to get you moving in the right direction. Hell, I don't know who would deal with this very well on their own...I'd see one for sure. Hour by hour, dayd by day, time will settle you and hopefully your girls too. Be sure to engage them and keep a watchful eye on them too.
  • CarolJo59
    CarolJo59 Posts: 5
    It's times like this that can be the hardest. Just work on you and taking care of your little girls. Therapy can definately help get things back on track, emotionally. Losing weight from not eating is very unhealthy. That was how I had lost weight with my last drop and everyone told me I looked sickly. I could just tell I wasn't healtyh, but at the time didn't care. You'll get through this and be happy and healthy again someday.
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
    I'd be the same way.. don't be so hard on yourself. Get yourself a good support system of friends, relatives, etc to help you through. I'd get into therapy too.

    Take care of yourself and your little girls. I'm sure even the basic everyday things are hard right now but do them for your little girls. (((HUGS)))
  • alexandradeyl
    alexandradeyl Posts: 67 Member
    Boys are stupid...Dont beat yourself up. Try to eat as healthy as you can, and definitely reach out to your supports. Im sorry youre going through such a difficult time
  • h82bfat
    h82bfat Posts: 77
    I'm sorry.
  • slickracer
    slickracer Posts: 63
    I can only imagine how things suck right now and I hope you can find a happy place soon.

    All I can give about motivation is to just get out there and do it anyway. It won't feel right for a long time but the endorphins will help you feel better and pick you up a tiny bit.
  • 05saleengirl
    05saleengirl Posts: 549
    I'm so sorry. I can't image what you and your little ones are going through. Emotional stress is far worse than physical, it just drains you. This year my family has been hit with various bombs...most recent was finding out my Dad who is only 56 has leukemia, and incurable kind that he will always have. So, even though my stress is far different than yours, on an emotional level I can relate. I've been going through it all summer, the inability to eat, feeling down feelings like no matter what you do, nothing seems like it is or will ever go right. And I was the same way until this week with having NO motivation to work out or eat right. In the past few weeks I have gotten my appetitte back. I think its going to definately take time for you, and I really do wish you and your little ones all the best. If you ever need to vent, I sure will listen! :flowerforyou:
  • Southernsister
    Southernsister Posts: 198 Member
    .http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/350547-my-story-at-a-second-chance-at-life-photos here i my -story....you can do it. Im here for you any time.I hope this helps. You can't make him love you..love your-self and the girls. DO it for you.
  • bandj75
    bandj75 Posts: 4
    Having been through this about 3 years ago I may understand a bit of what you are going through. You will lose weight from losing your appetite, but you're right... its not healthy. The best way I found to get through it was by really moderate exercise. Because you're not eating, you won't have your normal energy levels, so a 60 min run is probably asking way too much of yourself! But a 30-45 minute walk will do you wonders. It helps to clear the head, helps to release all those hormones to combat depression, and will also help to improve your appetite. I also took natural sleep aids, Blackmores does a good one, which helped to stop my brain running around in circles at night. It is a really tough thing to go through and I feel for you. Make sure you find an understanding ear.
  • Yakisoba
    Yakisoba Posts: 719 Member
    Need motivation? Turn to your little girls.
  • jyc1
    jyc1 Posts: 15 Member
    How are you feeling now? Any better? You and your are in my thoughts and prayers
  • jyc1
    jyc1 Posts: 15 Member
    How are you feeling now? Any better? You and your are in my thoughts and prayers
  • bigdaddycowgill
    bigdaddycowgill Posts: 120 Member
    Thats really awful and I'm so sorry to hear it. For me, when I'm down, I know that exercise is the best thing for me. It's hard to do but I push myself and use that time to work out a lot of the frustrations that might be going on in my head. I would just do a little each day until it just becomes routine. Same with the eating. I guess one way to look at it is you need to be healthy for your kids so try to concentrate on that.

    I'm sorry to hear that. I agree with what she said about keeping motivated for your girls. I'm a good listener & would like to offer my support. FR me if you want to talk.
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    Need motivation? Turn to your little girls.

    This. You walk away with the best stuff and he took the crap with him. You'll build a new life very sure of yourself and your priorities. He will always have reason to question. Your feelings right now, this second, are a blip. Hang on to the true stuff.
  • rachdlew
    rachdlew Posts: 108
    You will get better I knwo everything feels like it is coming apart at the seams but its not because you are a strong woman and will hold it all together if for nothing else for your girls. We never know how strong we are until we have to be stronger than we have ever been. Good luck and when you feel overwhealmed hug those girls tight they will bring things back to perspective.
  • fordster99
    fordster99 Posts: 181 Member
    You are dealing with a loss. You may not have had him die but its still a loss none the less. You are probably just running on autopilot and everything around you is a blur. This is totally normal. It will get better and with time you will see the light at the end of the tunnel but right now you just have to make decisions on what is best for you and your girls. Set an example for them. Show them that you don't need a man in your life to conquer the world. It would also be nice to rub it in his face that he didn't break you. Good luck.
  • ktfitzgerald
    ktfitzgerald Posts: 369 Member
    So sorry to hear this! You are a beautiful and strong person who has great things to do with her life. You will get through this and continue raising healthy, beautiful kids.
  • crittytn
    crittytn Posts: 34
    Going through this myself currently, but I have a great support system. Mine is not much of a surprise, so that's helpful a little bit. I fell off my exercise for about a week, then have been forcing myself to keep it up. It's okay to mourn the loss, but try to gradually force yourself back into your old routines. It really helps ease the anxiety, I found.

    If you don't have a good support system, start finding one--either a doctor, friends, family, something like that. Feel free to friend me or send me a message if you need to talk.
  • taglientep
    taglientep Posts: 297 Member
    Im so sorry to hear this. Its ok to give yourself a little break and give yourself a little slack. Maybe try to focus on small things, winsome small battles and build up. You will get motivated again, just give it a little time
  • DawnJanette
    DawnJanette Posts: 36 Member
    I think I might be revealing too much but this is one way I have coped with things in the past......

    I used to time how long it took me to think about the ex in a morning from when I woke up.......first time it was as soon as I got to the toilet (there must be a connection there lol) but slowly more time past before I thought about him. This does get more and more and it helped me knowing this as to be begin with I couldn't image life without him. Eventually there were days and weeks when I didnt think about him and now i'm completely over him.

    Things will get better, it just takes time. So don't beat yourself up about not doing the diet or eating healthily, there will be a time soon that it becomes much easier to stay on track.

    Good luck
  • Harkins86
    Harkins86 Posts: 58 Member
    I am so sorry this happened to you. My advice ... take it one day at a time. Do what you can and make sure you are not too hard on yourself. Good luck!
  • shakemybooty
    shakemybooty Posts: 681 Member
    I've been through it as well. Taking care of your emotional health and your girls is your first priority. Just do your best to get through each day. Eventually each one gets easier. One of the things that helped me the most was figuring out what I was going to do for me. Ok the path has changed...where do we live, how am I going to take care of my child, what's visitation going to be like, and the all important-what's going to happen with my finances.

    Be proactive. You'll feel better. Talk to a counselor, talk to a lawyer, make copies of all your financial documents (tax returns, retirement accounts, pay stubs etc). Put yourself in control of your life. Don't let his wants/needs make the decisions for you.

    The pain goes away. It feels like it never will but it does. Sometimes you even wake up one day and thank the person for leaving because you're in a happier place and you wouldn't be if they wouldn't have left.

    I wouldn't wish this kind of pain on anyone. Big hugs and prayers for you and your girls.
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