If you can't say nothin nice, don't say nothin at all. (Thum

aiyana1228
aiyana1228 Posts: 100 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
OK folks. This is the motivation section of a web site meant to be encouraging and motivating for a healthy lifestyle which for most of us means weight loss. The journey is hard. Life is hard. This should be a safe place where we encourage one another.

I am reading way too many argumentative threads and downright personal slams. Yes-Sometimes we miss spell or miss a word while typing. There is really no reason to point it out. Yes, there are differing opinions on what to eat and when and what exercise to do for optimal health. It’s not your job to set anyone straight.

We all have bad days. If you start to react negatively to someone’s personal opinion-please just move to a different post. Apparently it was not what you needed for encouragement at the moment. There are hundreds of other posts for you to check out. Remember the tone you get from what is written is often your own interpretation. Be careful about judgment and jumping to conclusions.

If someone is calling names or attacking you or another person, report them. It’s really not ok.

I try to use Thumpers dads philosophy in all of my dealings with other people. Its makes for a kinder, gentler world... If you can't say nothin nice, don't say nothin at all. (This is a quote from a movie-poor grammar is intentional)

If someone is calling names or attacking you or another person-report them. Its really not ok.

I try to use Thumpers dads phylosophy in all of my dealings with other people. Its makes for a kinder, gentler world... If you can't say nothin nice, don't say nothin at all. (This is a quote from a movie-poor grammer is intentional)

Replies

  • Uerzer
    Uerzer Posts: 273
    Thumbs up! :flowerforyou:
  • godroxmysox
    godroxmysox Posts: 1,491 Member
    Well said =)
  • mmellor
    mmellor Posts: 146
    I agree! Thanks for taking a stand!
  • Gigi_licious
    Gigi_licious Posts: 1,185 Member
    Oh yay! An early morning lecture. :yawn:

    Next thread....
  • albali
    albali Posts: 225 Member
    Nice one! I totally agree. And for those that dismiss or belittle the thread, IT IS AIMED AT YOU!! xxx
  • Suzanne106
    Suzanne106 Posts: 149 Member
    I couldn't agree more but I haven't experienced that. Then again I really don't use the message board much I just use the site for caloric count and tracking. Good Luck!
  • NicolCook
    NicolCook Posts: 489 Member
    :flowerforyou: :happy:
  • flimflamfloz
    flimflamfloz Posts: 1,980 Member
    I agree...

    That being said, I have given up on trying to change the entire population of the world, so the best strategy here to live by is:
    Don't waste your breath on your enemies, every second you spent talking to them is a second you could have spent with someone you love.

    Or in simpler words: just ignore them, and don't reply to them.
  • darlalu00
    darlalu00 Posts: 187 Member
    I agree!!!
  • meeperoon
    meeperoon Posts: 270 Member
    b67846cc.jpg

    It was animated but never mind! I agree completely!
  • carebear7951
    carebear7951 Posts: 404 Member
    That's a good word for today-especially early in the morning before anyone has a chance to say anything hurtful! :)
  • Lula16
    Lula16 Posts: 628 Member
    i totally agree! its kinda why i dont like posting topics or commenting too much.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but what inevitably happens with these threads is not what you have intended. People on this site will not give unconditional support for weight-loss strategies that they feel are unhealthy or dangerous. Nor should they.

    I agree that name-calling and arguing isn't appropriate, but people will disagree. There is nothing wrong with people expressing differing opinions, especially when they have been actively solicited.
  • Jorra
    Jorra Posts: 3,338 Member
    I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but what inevitably happens with these threads is not what you have intended. People on this site will not give unconditional support for weight-loss strategies that they feel are unhealthy or dangerous. Nor should they.

    I agree that name-calling and arguing isn't appropriate, but people will disagree. There is nothing wrong with people expressing differing opinions, especially when they have been actively solicited.
  • ilookthetype
    ilookthetype Posts: 3,021 Member
    No one taught Thumper's dad the rules of double negatives. :(
  • kayemac
    kayemac Posts: 10 Member
    I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but what inevitably happens with these threads is not what you have intended. People on this site will not give unconditional support for weight-loss strategies that they feel are unhealthy or dangerous. Nor should they.

    I agree that name-calling and arguing isn't appropriate, but people will disagree. There is nothing wrong with people expressing differing opinions, especially when they have been actively solicited.

    I certainly wouldn't hesitate to share my opinion if I feel something is wrong, but in the short time I've been looking at the boards here, I recognize a really mean spirit that often surfaces. There are nice, respectful ways to say things without belittling the person you're addressing. If I can't figure out a way to accomplish that, I'll keep my mouth shut. Like a previous poster said, it makes me very hesitant to post here at all. In fact, I probably won't. Who needs extra discouragement? Not me.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    "Can't say nothing" and "don't say nothing" are double negatives. :wink: Thumper's Dad was terrible at grammar.

    I don't want or expect unconditional support. When I'm wrong, I want to be corrected. That said, one should be able to correct or disagree with someone while being respectful, supportive and courteous.
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
    *damn double post*
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but what inevitably happens with these threads is not what you have intended. People on this site will not give unconditional support for weight-loss strategies that they feel are unhealthy or dangerous. Nor should they.

    I agree that name-calling and arguing isn't appropriate, but people will disagree. There is nothing wrong with people expressing differing opinions, especially when they have been actively solicited.

    I certainly wouldn't hesitate to share my opinion if I feel something is wrong, but in the short time I've been looking at the boards here, I recognize a really mean spirit that often surfaces. There are nice, respectful ways to say things without belittling the person you're addressing. If I can't figure out a way to accomplish that, I'll keep my mouth shut. Like a previous poster said, it makes me very hesitant to post here at all. In fact, I probably won't. Who needs extra discouragement? Not me.

    I don't disagree with you.
  • FearAnLoathing
    FearAnLoathing Posts: 4,852 Member
    Heres my problem with that quote,all thumper said was "he dont walk very well does he" and thumpers was right the stupid deer didnt walk very well. He was just telling the truth
  • aiyana1228
    aiyana1228 Posts: 100 Member
    I appreciate what you are trying to do here, but what inevitably happens with these threads is not what you have intended. People on this site will not give unconditional support for weight-loss strategies that they feel are unhealthy or dangerous. Nor should they.

    I agree that name-calling and arguing isn't appropriate, but people will disagree. There is nothing wrong with people expressing differing opinions, especially when they have been actively solicited.

    I agree. My intention was not to say don't give opinions. I guess It sounded like that to you. Sorry about that. My post is mostly aimed at the name callers. If someone is asking for others opinion then opinion is appropriate. When someone is saying I am having a hard day or this is not working or I need some encouragement then its not the time to tell them they screwed up. They probably already know that. I have seen some very hateful things this week.
  • Grimmerick
    Grimmerick Posts: 3,342 Member
    I have seen some very hateful things this week.

    and unfortunately you will continue to see these things, these crusade posts don't really do anything because the people that are negative and mean know they are and it amuses them. It's a nice thought but you unfortunately aren't the first to give this post a go. Good luck to you and just stay on the sunny side of the street.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    Similar to calling someone out for being judgmental, telling someone "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" goes against the very nature of the well-meaning quip. The advice, however well-meaning, is elitist admonishing given in the context of an audience. Thumper wasn't on the Internet.

    I agree that mean people suck, name-calling isn't good, and ridicule doesn't foster positive feelings. However, the kind of support and advice that *I PERSONALLY* would like to see a LOT more of is the pragmatic kind that focuses on improvement rather than admonishing others. There are jerks on the Internet. There are jerks on MFP. There are jerks in my office. There is a jerk sitting in my chair typing this right now. ;)

    How about, instead of focusing on people who are offensive/mean/unfair/not nice, we actually focus on the people we intend to support. Like maybe a post that says: "Be strong in the face of criticism." Or "Keep trying, even after making mistakes, getting corrected, or even getting made fun of." Or "Don't let the Internet hurt your feelings. Take criticism for what it is - an opportunity to learn something. If there is nothing of value, ignore it and move on."
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,419 Member
    These never end well. We all agree.

    On this site, as in life, you will not be able to control anyone else's behavior. Good luck with this attitude.
  • IronmanPanda
    IronmanPanda Posts: 2,083 Member
    okusa.jpg
  • shanolap
    shanolap Posts: 1,204 Member
    Similar to calling someone out for being judgmental, telling someone "if you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all" goes against the very nature of the well-meaning quip. The advice, however well-meaning, is elitist admonishing given in the context of an audience. Thumper wasn't on the Internet.

    I agree that mean people suck, name-calling isn't good, and ridicule doesn't foster positive feelings. However, the kind of support and advice that *I PERSONALLY* would like to see a LOT more of is the pragmatic kind that focuses on improvement rather than admonishing others. There are jerks on the Internet. There are jerks on MFP. There are jerks in my office. There is a jerk sitting in my chair typing this right now. ;)

    How about, instead of focusing on people who are offensive/mean/unfair/not nice, we actually focus on the people we intend to support. Like maybe a post that says: "Be strong in the face of criticism." Or "Keep trying, even after making mistakes, getting corrected, or even getting made fun of." Or "Don't let the Internet hurt your feelings. Take criticism for what it is - an opportunity to learn something. If there is nothing of value, ignore it and move on."

    ^^^THIS!
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
    You know, you're right ... life is tough... so wear a helmet.


    That's what I always say. No double negatives needed.




    Also, 'mean people' don't hurt peoples' feelings - we all choose how to feel. Choose to not get your feelings hurt over something a stranger on the internet said, and you'll be all set.
  • killagb
    killagb Posts: 3,280 Member
    tumblr_lep3up5K2E1qe91fco1_500.jpg
This discussion has been closed.

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