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Needing major support

miss_sarcastic
miss_sarcastic Posts: 131
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
Tuesday night my boyfriend broke up with me. I know it happens and everyone says "I know how you feel," but it's so much more. He wasn't just that. He was my best friend. My soul-mate when I originally didn't believe in such thing. We were supposed to get married. We talked about it all. We had that relationship where all of our friends looked at us and would say we "were the perfect couple." 100% and more compatible and deeply in love.

And out of nowhere, he spun a 180 and broke up with me the other night (Tuesday). Everything was fine the day or two before.

The point of starting this post, is that I can't eat. I was nauseous all day yesterday and even threw up at work and they sent me home. Since Tuesday afternoon (so over 48 hours) I've had a 40 calorie popsicle that a nice group gave me when going between my classes at college today. I can't even drink anything. and I KNOW better... I'm taking anatomy and physiology and I know I need to fuel my body for a billion reasons. But... I can't :( I'm not as nauseous now, but the thought of intaking anything is just not doing it for me. Uhg.

Replies

  • tikikris
    tikikris Posts: 81 Member
    Breathe. Chew on some crushed ice and make a pot of herbal tea.
  • melissabee31
    melissabee31 Posts: 134
    I am really sorry to hear about your relationship ending :( I do know how hard that is in so many ways. If you're a believer, I urge you to rely on God through this one. If you're not, I still encourage it all the same.

    Two years ago, my fiance at the time died suddenly. I did not eat for about a week straight. After passing out and being hospitalized, I realized I forgot to eat - literally. I was too busy grieving. Obviously, your break up is not that extreme. But a break up can resemble the signs of great loss. You need time to grieve. Cry. Write. Take a warm bath. Light your favorite candle. Do something for yourself, because you are worth it.
  • Helenatrandom
    Helenatrandom Posts: 1,166 Member
    Herbal tea is a good idea. Maybe some toast or crackers. Give yourself a little tlc. You deserve it.
    I obviously don't know your former boyfriend, but it sounds as if you are in college. Maybe he just wasn't mature enough to have such an important relationship yet. It doesn't make him a bad person, but you are not at fault then either. Don't play the blame game and wonder why (I'm assuming that is stressing you out and making you ill). Just be kind to yourself now.
  • SarahBeeMe
    SarahBeeMe Posts: 91 Member
    So sorry to hear about your loss... and that's totally what it is.
    Try to think 'fuel' and not food. Nibble on something bland like a cracker every now and then so you don't feel full and in turn, sick. Similarly.... little sips of water just to keep you at least a little hydrated. It will all help you cope (which I am sure you're fully aware). Most of all, look after yourself xx
  • Eleanorjanethinner
    Eleanorjanethinner Posts: 563 Member
    Poor you! That must've been a horrific shock.

    Yes, you're grieving and grief affect the whole person, body, mind and spirit. Google the effects of grief - it's quite normal not to want to eat or to eat too much, to be exhausted or hyperactive, to be sleepless or sleep all the time etc. It affects different people differently, but there are a range of normal effects.

    I agree with those saying 'nurture yourself' in whatever way works for you - gentle walk, bath, yoga, massage, talk with friends and family, etc. Get some real people around you to support you - ask for what you need and clearly tell them how you're feeling.

    Look after yourself!
  • LFDBabs
    LFDBabs Posts: 297 Member
    What the hell was in the air on Tuesday?? My boyfriend of three years broke up with me out of the blue too. He was my first serious relationship post-divorce. We also spoke of marriage and a fantastic future together...then whammo! He wants to just be friends. I am familiar with not being able to eat. I went through that when I found out my ex-husband was having an affair. I lost 52lbs in 3 months....NOT the way to do it!!

    You actually need to force yourself to eat. Start light. Toast, an egg, a single slice of deli meat, an apple. Herbal tea is fantastic. If you have trouble sleeping, like I did, go to the drug store and look for "Hyland's Insomnia" remedy. It's a great holistic non rx sleep aid and works fantastic!!

    I'm so sorry. Another word of advice....DO NOT CONTACT HIM!!! I know, believe me, it;s hard. But he needs to see you willing and able to move on. Sometimes, every once in a great while, that is what will make them curious and lure them back....if you decide to take him back.

    Take care sweetie. It will get better. You will be happy again, maybe even happier....eventually.
  • Jaytee79
    Jaytee79 Posts: 237 Member
    Try to force something in...so that you don't end up collapsing. But stress is hard on the body...if you feel sick or like you can't eat thaen you can't force it. Try to put some kind of fuel into yourself, take a few days to grieve your loss, and then start working on picking yourself back up and moving forward. One breath at a time, one day at a time, one foot in fron of the other. Keep yourself busy...even if you have to embark on some serious fall cleaning in your home. Don't sit and think....you'll make yourself crazy.
  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
    Wow, you're like the third gal on MFP that I've read that broke up with their Significant other. I'm so sorry to hear this!

    Honestly, if you don't feel like eating, don't. Let yourself cope however you can, and then come back to MFP when you're ready.
  • miss_sarcastic
    miss_sarcastic Posts: 131
    Thank you all. I've managed to finally down a glass of water. I hadn't even been able to drink until then. Now my stomach is acting kind of funny, though :/. I weighed ~205 pre-Tuesday. I weighed 200.8 this morning. Not good :/

    Today (well, yesterday now that it's past midnight) was his birthday, and that made it extra hard. I had all of this stuff planned. Things purchased. I haven't even been able to remove them from my kitchen table. They're all just sitting there in plastic bags. :/

    I was supposed to go see him this weekend (he's an hour 1/2 away). I already had work off. So, instead, I'm driving the 3.5 hours home to be with family and friends. I really am going to try and eat something between now and the drive because that's probably not too safe a drive when my body is how it is right now.
  • icandothistrish85
    icandothistrish85 Posts: 116
    I am really sorry to hear about your relationship ending :( I do know how hard that is in so many ways. If you're a believer, I urge you to rely on God through this one. If you're not, I still encourage it all the same.

    Two years ago, my fiance at the time died suddenly. I did not eat for about a week straight. After passing out and being hospitalized, I realized I forgot to eat - literally. I was too busy grieving. Obviously, your break up is not that extreme. But a break up can resemble the signs of great loss. You need time to grieve. Cry. Write. Take a warm bath. Light your favorite candle. Do something for yourself, because you are worth it.

    This. I agree whole-heartedly. :0)
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