Newbie: Going for 40+

Hello! I am new today. I'm not exactly new to the site though. I have used it before and had some success. However, like an idiot I thought I could do it on my own so I got off and gained all my weight and then some back. I'm probably an even bigger idiot for wanting to start this before the holidays start with all the food that will be going around but I just can't bare the thought of facing another new year without losing some weight.
Recently, I realized that I have given up the fight and I'm trying to get myself back up off the floor from being knocked down...again. What I realized this evening is that I can get knocked down from time to time as long as I get right back up. Here lately I've gotten knocked down and I have stayed down. I don't want to do that anymore.
So, I am looking for real support here. I need people who are in this to really make positive changes in their lives. I'm looking for people to call me on my bull**** and not get to upset when I call them on theirs. So, Ladies if you are really here for the long haul and aren't going to quit on me after a few days then please send me a friend request.
I also realize this sounds mean but out of respect for my husband I do not accept friend request from men. I'm sure all you married men out there understand this. Thank you.