My first "failure" day. :(

tseecka
tseecka Posts: 90 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
I'm a lot more upset about this than I would have expected, but today is going to be my first day in "negative" calories. I've been so good up to this point, but it started with being unable to get up to go to the gym this morning and has gone downhill from there. That, plus a combination of "there are seriously THAT many calories in that???" moments have me feeling like utter CRAP and I could use a bit of support.

I'm hoping that the meal I had for lunch actually works out to be less than what I guesstimated and ups my count at least a little, and I do plan on going to the gym tonight since I missed this morning, but if I want to eat dinner tonight I'm still going to end up more than 200 calories over what I should be.

It really makes me angry at myself for not being able to curb my snacking. I have terrible will power, and when I walk into work to see Hallowe'en candy left by well-meaning co-workers on my desk, I'm going to eat it. Not to mention that work has a bi-weekly "donut day" and let me just say that while I knew it would be high, I wasn't expecting THAT high...ugh.

I guess this is a learning opportunity, but at the moment, all I feel like is utter crap, frustrated and tired and ready to cry. I don't even want to THINK about dinner yet, the thought of how much over my goal I'm going to be is painful.

Replies

  • sangelic
    sangelic Posts: 207
    You just have to brush it off. Tomorrow is a whole new day :happy:
  • AnninStPaul
    AnninStPaul Posts: 1,372 Member
    You just have to brush it off. Tomorrow is a whole new day :happy:

    Tomorrow is another day. And if going over tonight is going to bug you so much, spend 1/2 hour on a treadmill to offset.
  • HonkyTonks
    HonkyTonks Posts: 1,193 Member
    Completely agree with above! Don't stress at all over it, it's only one day!
  • tseecka
    tseecka Posts: 90 Member
    You just have to brush it off. Tomorrow is a whole new day :happy:

    Tomorrow is another day. And if going over tonight is going to bug you so much, spend 1/2 hour on a treadmill to offset.

    Heh...even a half hour on the treadmill/elliptical won't be enough to offset :( I'm trying not to let this set me back too much but it's really affecting my mental state, which is a common problem for me.
  • msmayor
    msmayor Posts: 362 Member
    Hey pat yourself on the back for the first over calorie day - it could have been 3,4 or even 5 ... and just think about before you began your journey it didn't even matter how many calories you ate right right - with that said give yourself a big hug for working hard and losing 6lbs :flowerforyou: and like Sangelic said tomorrow is a new day:wink:
  • CashierCantin
    CashierCantin Posts: 206 Member
    Don't let this upset the rest of your day. I know how easy it is to just say "Forget it" and just totally blow it because you already did so and start fresh. The damage is done, you learned how wonderful donuts taste but how bad they are for us and now you move on.

    Tonight, if you feel like eating, go light. If you don't, then I think it's ok if you don't. You can snack on a piece of fruit or some carrots or something if you don't wanna go too overboard on calories. Heck, I've even had a bowl of cereal for dinner or a cup of cheerios dry to just eat something and be done with it.

    Just brush yourself off and wake up tomorrow with the new determination that it won't happen again.

    When I found out how many calories my favorite Dunkin Donuts chocolate cake donuts had (even before counting calories) it made me sick to my stomach and I have not had one since (its been about 3 years now).

    Whatever you do, don't let this derail you on your journey to fit. Everyone has their day and today was yours.

    {{{hugs}}}
  • ChristinaStang
    ChristinaStang Posts: 5
    I agree - brush it off! We are all human. We all give into temptation. The key is to not let that temptation take over your life and give into everyday. Eat dinner tonight and enjoy it. Tomorrow start new. We have all been there!!!!
  • lornathewizzard
    lornathewizzard Posts: 165 Member
    You're gonna have days like this. Losing weight properly is a lifestyle change. You're not realistically going to be under your calories every day of your life. And that doesn't make it a disaster. You realise this is not good, thats a step in the right direction, but also don't beat yourself up. Dust yourself off and you'll be fine tomorrow. "Over" is not something to beat yourself up about, just don't do it every day! And don't get down, we are all human. Keep on keeping on!
  • mleipe
    mleipe Posts: 54
    If you're trying to lose a pound a week, MFP will give you something like a 500 calorie deficit per day. That means that if you're recording everything - exercise and food - accurately and you are at or below your MFP limit, you'll lose a pound a week.

    Now if you exceed your MFP calorie limit by 500 calories every day, that doesn't mean you're going to gain weight, it just means that you won't lose weight.

    And, a pound of body works out to about 3500 calories. So to gain a pound in a week, you need to consume 500 calories per day every day of the week more than you expend. Which means that technically you need to be 1000 calories over your MFP limit every day for a week to gain a pound.

    So don't sweat it of you're over by a few hundred calories for one day every couple of weeks, it's not the end of the world.
  • Pocket_Pixi
    Pocket_Pixi Posts: 1,167 Member
    I wouldn't call this a failure. I would call this life. Suck it up, accept it for what it is and move on. Tomorrow is a new day. If it bugs you this much go for a walk/run w/e for a bit and try to offset it.
  • udallmom101
    udallmom101 Posts: 564 Member
    We are ALL only HUMAN! We have our days that just don't go well. We all have our disappointments. It's going to be okay. It's not "failure" as I see it. I look at this journey as a LIFESTYLE change, and with that comes error. We have to just learn from that and move on. You shouldn't be so disappointed in yourself. Just brush it off and know that tomorrow will be better.
  • fuhrmeister
    fuhrmeister Posts: 1,796 Member
    I don't believe in failure days until you given up completely. As long as you are still here you are doing the right thing. I believe you must have a good realationship with yourself and your food to be sucessful. Don't punish yourself or starve yourself this evening. shake it off and do better tomorrow. I believe you can do this!!!!
  • adnorri
    adnorri Posts: 20
    I feel your pain!!! I have been going over quite a bit here lately and it sucks! And then I'm mad that I went over the past couple of days so I just kinda quit caring:( It is really hard to beat that fail and youre a failure attitude, but I know that you can turn it around just like I can! We just need to focus on all the good that we have done and not that one failure and then move on. Hope this helps
  • alise_lmx
    alise_lmx Posts: 292 Member
    I don't think that in order to get to your goal, EVERY day has to be perfect. That would be insane. You just want to have more good days than bad. Maybe if you think of your diary in terms of weeks instead of days it might help you. You can still be under on calories for the week if you eat well the next couple days and maybe try to exercise a little extra.

    Also, you don't have to be perfect, just persistent. You'll be fine if you learn to brush off the bad days and move on. In fact I think that's the main reason people give up - they have a few bad days or maybe weeks and then think ALL of their progress is gone. Just keep on keepin' on :)
  • Dootzy1
    Dootzy1 Posts: 2,345 Member
    Shake it off. The "all-or-none" mentality is what has defeated some of us in the past. Divide up those calories mentally over a week's time, and see how unimportant they are in the long haul. Be encouraged by the strength you have shown to this point....... I remember the first time I ever went into the red. It should be attention-getting. But do not overemphasize its power --- you are still in control----if you take your control BACK!!!!
  • jbug100
    jbug100 Posts: 406 Member
    You hit the nail on the head! Learning opportunity! This is a long term project. There will be many "over " days. As long as the overall habits change, it's all good. One of the best things I've learned is self forgiveness and the ability to choose to get back on the wagon right now. Don't let a few extra calories ruin your whole day, but if the whole day is bad, back to it tomorrow. Personally, I have found that more than 2 days in carb overload, the carb cravings rear their ugly heads and it gets harder to stay on track. Not a failure day, a personal growth day! This approach has made all the difference for me. Good luck!
  • jbug100
    jbug100 Posts: 406 Member
    You hit the nail on the head! Learning opportunity! This is a long term project. There will be many "over " days. As long as the overall habits change, it's all good. One of the best things I've learned is self forgiveness and the ability to choose to get back on the wagon right now. Don't let a few extra calories ruin your whole day, but if the whole day is bad, back to it tomorrow. Personally, I have found that more than 2 days in carb overload, the carb cravings rear their ugly heads and it gets harder to stay on track. Not a failure day, a personal growth day! This approach has made all the difference for me. Good luck!
  • flabulous4
    flabulous4 Posts: 599 Member
    I succumb to temptation all the time (drinking a beer right now as it's Friday evening) and I am still losing weight - the difference is that I'm so much fitter now than when I started that I can burn it off and enjoy it. So you go over a bit today - fit in an extra workout this weekend if you can, and maybe you need to have a chat with your work colleagues to say that you could use some support to try and get healthier. Probably some of them will welcome a healthy option too!

    Must admit I had a doughnut a few weeks ago - work colleague brought them in. Oh it was good but 350 calories?!
  • LesGoodridge
    LesGoodridge Posts: 5
    Don't let one day get you down, there will be days when you go over your calorie allowance and days when you are well under. In the end it will balance itself out.

    Take it steady and don't let the odd "bad" day get you down.
  • diana160
    diana160 Posts: 28
    Every meal we have another choice. Today is not a failure because you are aware of your choices and next time you can make a better choice. I ate over yesterday, but I had two days right on target. Guilt is such a useless emotion. Breathe, repeat after me....I am fearfully and wonderfully made. If you have a wonderful salad tonight, add a little protein. Drink some camomile tea after dinner, helps with getting dopamine and serotine down to where you can sleep, helps curb appetite at night. By the way did I tell you you are fearfully and wonderfully made. Blessings. Diana:love:
  • frycase
    frycase Posts: 43
    You and I seriously had the same freaking day, except that instead of donuts I had Harvey's for lunch. Don't stress it, love. Tomorrow is another day. Look at it this way: that donut (or donuts, if you're like me and sometimes have trouble stopping at one) is going to be a great motivator. Tomorrow you're going to kick the hell out of your calorie count. <3 I'm so proud of you for the progress you've made so far!
  • tseecka
    tseecka Posts: 90 Member
    Thank you, everyone. I KNOW, deep down, that I shouldn't be as upset or beating myself up as much as I am about this...but if you asked me, at any point in my life, what my biggest detriment to being as healthy as I should be is, I would always point to my willpower--or lack thereof. It's tough to sit down and say to myself that I need to be more willful where food is concerned...and then to succeed, so well, for the first few weeks, only to just suddenly come up short so suddenly.

    I know I can come back from this, and I want to, but it's just frustrating to know exactly what the problem is yet somehow lack the conviction to follow through...

    If any of you read Hyperbole and a Half, if you read her latest post, that describes pretty accurately the way I feel about my lack of willpower. (And if you don't you should, it's a BRILLIANT blog :happy:)
  • stubbysticks
    stubbysticks Posts: 1,275 Member
    A day with a calorie surplus will actually stimulate your metabolism & keep your weight loss moving along, assuming you don't do it more than once a week. Works great for me.

    Agree that the willpower thing is much more of an issue...good luck getting that worked out. But rest assured that having a day where you're way over on your calories is a GOOD thing. Don't weigh yourself for at least 3-4 days post though, you'll see some artificial weight gain from the excess carbs & sodium. It'll flush itself after a few days back on plan.
  • Kdingo
    Kdingo Posts: 145 Member
    You gained new knowlage. Nothing wrong with that. You know where you went wrong and you know your weaknesses. One day is a grain of sand in the sahara.:flowerforyou:
  • KiyaK
    KiyaK Posts: 519 Member
    Didn't have time to read others' responses, so maybe someon already said this, but you have to remember: even if you go over your calories on MFP, you still have about 500 calories before you get to maintenance (sp?) or even calorie surplus (depending on your settings). Keeping this in mind always makes me feel better. So even if you're "over" by 200 cal, you're actually still under by 300. So you are actually still doing well!!

    Keep your head up. One day won't make that much difference. It is not a failure, just a challange. And there WILL be many more. You just have to learn not to let them break you.
  • tseecka
    tseecka Posts: 90 Member
    Well, I feel a little bit better still--I just input the actual recipe for the lasagna I had for lunch, rather than going by an estimate based on the food database here...and what I thought was a 581 calorie portion is actually more like 230! I'm still over because of that damn donut and the Hallowe'en candy, but at least not by as much, and I can at least offset the 200 overage with the elliptical tonight--it won't save me from dinner, but I can still EAT dinner and not feel like a total lump.

    Phew. That's a load off of my mind, at least.
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