Annoyed at my "main support" person....

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abrantner
abrantner Posts: 90
in Motivation and Support
Aka, my husband.. Love him dearly, but I don't know if he is trying to undermine my weight loss or not. And after what happened at the gym today, I have lost perspective of the issue. Background.. He is a BIG man.. 380lbs plus, and he's okay with that. When we me he used to go to the gym all the time with his guy friends. When I moved in, I joined the gym (in an effort to get back into shape myself). Well, over the last year the gym has become a battle ground so to speak. His guy friends have stopped going for various reasons.. I am not one of them. I never worked out with them, always with a personal trainer and doing my own cardio. Since they have stopped going, he has pretty must stopped going and if I ask him if he wants to go with me, it's a sigh and a I guess. I don'[t ask very often. .. Well today, we went together, he did his thing, about 40 mins of weights and I did my thing.. 2 hours. (He knew what I was going to do before we went.) For the majority of my time there he stood around making me feel really self consious. I asked him if he wanted to go to the snack bar, do a ittle cardio (four letter word in his dictionary) go get some lunch and come back for me. Well he got pissy and sat in the car. I know I need to lose another 40-50 lbs FOR ME.. He believes I am the hottest thing on the planet and I love him for that. He doesn't think I need to watch what I eat or go to the gym. How do I get him to see I am doing this for me and not for him. .and I love that he thinks that way about me. sooo gosh darn frustrating...... Thanks for letting me rant. <3 ya'll Allison

Replies

  • auntdeedee87
    auntdeedee87 Posts: 706 Member
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    I think he needs a reminder that you're glad he loves you the way you are, bur you don't. You're doing this to feel better, for yourself. For your health.
  • TheDoctor90
    TheDoctor90 Posts: 461 Member
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    Perhaps he's terrified that if you lose the weight, your new looks and added confidence will bring you lots more male attention?
  • eureka1951
    eureka1951 Posts: 13 Member
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    I think your man knows he needs to be there with you and he's probably feeling convicted about going. My hubby is 6' 4" and 190 lbs. Never had a weight issue and is my biggest supporter as well. That said he still doesn't get that I really want to lose more weight. He says I'm heart healthy and that's what should count, not the scale. I would love to lose about 40 yet and it's tough. Hang in there and know you are doing it for yourself. Men just don't get us! LOL!
  • blink1021
    blink1021 Posts: 1,118 Member
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    He is probably afraid that if you get too in shape he will lose you especially if he has quite a bit of weight on himself. Men can be just as self conscious as woman can. I would just stop asking him to go with you.
  • Tegan74
    Tegan74 Posts: 202
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    Perhaps he's terrified that if you lose the weight, your new looks and added confidence will bring you lots more male attention?

    ^^^This^^^ I've gotten remarks from other people along those lines. Thankfully the guy I'm with is sane enough to realize thats not the case.

    I'd sit him down and have an honest open convo about it with him. Tell him how you feel and get his reaction. Its also possible he thinks you were going just to spend time with him (or he thinks you were going to horn in on his 'guy time' but I'll give him the benefit of the doubt)

    Either way good luck and dont let him de-rail you :)
  • malloriewebb
    malloriewebb Posts: 81
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    you just described what happens when my husband and I go to the gym together. LOL

    We dont go together anymore or we drive seperate. I do 2 hrs and he likes 1hr or less.
  • abrantner
    abrantner Posts: 90
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    We have one car so that's kinda difficult.. Normally things are okay.. this morning just annoyed the stuffing out of me. He knows I love him and he knows I don't have my eye on any other guys.. If he did he would have a MAJOR prob with my job.. Only two of us women in an office full of big burly men. (I work in a Union Hall).. So,, we shall just work out.. Love the compromises of marriage. :)

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