I just don't get it.

Dexy_
Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
I do not look fat. Whenever I tell people that I am trying to lose weight they respond with "What why??" and they are genuine. I am at least 20kgs overweight and my BMI is 32. But somehow I don't look that big. I have a really flabby tummy thanks to two kids, but that is mostly skin. On the rest of my body there isn't much excess fat hanging about, so where the hell is this weight hiding?

I am trying a healthy approach to get it gone anyway, but it's still annoying to be this overweight but not look it.

Replies

  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    How long ago was that picture taken?
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
    not to be rude, but maybe they are just being nice and see what they what to see. i can tell just by your picture you have some weight on your hips and belly area to lose , but i do agree that weight hides funny in some people and some people are just puportioned well . wish you luck
  • cebliss
    cebliss Posts: 1
    Been there done that. I have the same issue. Until I get extremely overweight, I do not show the weight. Even when in shape and a reasonable size, my BMI is considered obese. If you are eating right and excercising, you will either see a change in your body or you won't. I have learned to respond to my body and not the words of others. I know when I need to loose weight and when things can be left to maintain. You can do the same. The thing you will notice is that you will feel better...
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 49,178 Member
    BMI isn't the most accurate way to estimate being overweight. I'm way overweight according to BMI.
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
    I do agree that I look and AM overweight. I just don't think I look like I'm 20-25kgs overweight, as my mother is nearly TWICE the size of me, and yet is the same weight and height as me.
  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
    I do not look fat. Whenever I tell people that I am trying to lose weight they respond with "What why??" and they are genuine. I am at least 20kgs overweight and my BMI is 32. But somehow I don't look that big. I have a really flabby tummy thanks to two kids, but that is mostly skin. On the rest of my body there isn't much excess fat hanging about, so where the hell is this weight hiding?

    I am trying a healthy approach to get it gone anyway, but it's still annoying to be this overweight but not look it.

    What matters is that you are happy with yourself. You will feel better if you get stronger and healthier. Maybe weight isn't the issue for you, but being strong and healthy is. You can do it! :flowerforyou:
  • darrcn5
    darrcn5 Posts: 495 Member
    OP, I don't mean to sound unkind, but perhaps you and your friends do not know what a healthy body weight actually looks like. Are you smaller perhaps in comparison to the people you are around? At my last job, everyone but me was overweight by anywhere from 75-125 pounds. I was overweight by about 30 pounds, and everyone thought I was "so small" when I most definitely was not. I think we are so used to seeing people overweight and obese that we honestly don't always recognize an unhealthy body.
  • cominupmilhouse
    cominupmilhouse Posts: 257 Member
    That comment above was a bit uncalled for.

    Some people carry their weight better than others, you may be one of them if the scale says one thing and the mirror says another. I would say it's a good thing, but it doesn't mean you're healthy, just because you don't look fat. Trying to get in a normal BMI range for your height is very important for your health. Excess fat around your organs can cause an array of health problems and disorders. Maybe if you googled the kind of damage you could be causing with excess weight that would motivate you to try to get in better shape? I know it certainly works for me!
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
    When most people around us are overweight, overweight is normal, and it's hard to have a good idea of what "healthy" looks like.
    Two resources that might be useful:

    http://www.cockeyed.com/photos/bodies/heightweight.html (Lots of photos of people at various heights and weights, arranged in a grid)

    and

    http://www.halls.md/bmi/figures.htm (sketch figures showing what average (non athlete) people tend to look like at different BMIs).
  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
    I think people tell me I don't need to lose weight because there is a bad history in my family. Basically if you're a female in my family you are either very overweight or very underweight. My sister, 2 diff aunts and a few cousins have suffered bulimia and anorexia. So they probably are just telling me to stay where I am not really badly overweight, but not even close to underweight.
  • 1a1a
    1a1a Posts: 761 Member
    darrcn5 may not have been diplomatic enough in the wording of her post, but I don't think she was trying to be mean. I've lost 7 kilos and don't appear to be any different looking (to my eyes) but the weight must have gone from somewhere, I agree that greater sizes are normalised (and have no feelings about that one way or the other)...

    This is a pretty cool site for getting a feel of body size and shape http://www.mybodygallery.com/

    In other news, I second the sentiment of focusing on good eating and exercise, the body will appreciate.
  • CMmrsfloyd
    CMmrsfloyd Posts: 2,380 Member
    I think people tell me I don't need to lose weight because there is a bad history in my family. Basically if you're a female in my family you are either very overweight or very underweight. My sister, 2 diff aunts and a few cousins have suffered bulimia and anorexia. So they probably are just telling me to stay where I am not really badly overweight, but not even close to underweight.

    I can understand that concern that your family has, but you don't have to take 'losing weight' to the extreme. If you already have a healthy body image, that's a great start. It may be that you carry your weight in a nice proportional way which is why you don't feel you really look overweight. I've always been jealous of people that carry extra weight nicely like that! Not me! LOL Anyway, we can carry weight in outer areas where it 'shows' and then we can carry extra fat kind of packed in around our internal organs. That kind may show on the scale but not so much in the mirror. And it can be very unhealthy, even if we feel we look great in the mirror. I think you're starting in a good place if you already feel you look fine, maybe instead of telling people you are 'trying to lose weight' you could instead say that you are trying to live a healthier lifestyle? Trying to get more physically fit? Something that does not focus on 'weight'. Especially if you don't really feel like 'gosh I'm fat and I need to drop some weight', maybe wording it those other ways would be more genuine to how you really feel about 'losing weight'. I have found that sometimes when you tell people you're 'trying to lose weight' they say things like 'oh well not too much more or you'll be too skinny' but if you say 'I'm trying to exercise more and make healthier food choices' you get 'good for you, that's wonderful!'
  • significance
    significance Posts: 436 Member
    I think people tell me I don't need to lose weight because there is a bad history in my family. Basically if you're a female in my family you are either very overweight or very underweight. My sister, 2 diff aunts and a few cousins have suffered bulimia and anorexia. So they probably are just telling me to stay where I am not really badly overweight, but not even close to underweight.

    With that background, I'd be very careful. Ask your doctor for advice before embarking on weight loss, and check in with them regularly, if you can. Ask your doctor whether a personal trainer, a nutritionist or some other form of personal support might be a good idea.
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