eating because of stress, my son has ADHD

aethompson5507 · October 2011

ive recently been letting my son get the best of me, he has adhd, and apparently i eat when im stressed. him being the way that he is, completely crazy 24-7, im so stressed out. i feel exhausted by the end of the day. i dont feel like cooking, or exercising, or eating healthy or doing housework or anything. its totally taking everything out of me. does anyone have any suggestions for what to do. im sure ive heard everything in the book and actually tried everything in the book, but maybe someone will say something that i havent tried yet. any opinions , advise or ANYTHING that i can get would be so amazing. i cant keep letting myself be like this because ive worked so hard for my weight loss and i cannot let it come back because of this getting the best of me. :frown:

ellefun · October 2011

Im sorry to hear that. Though im only a 5 month old mother but i can understand the pain and fear. i too had a tough time then when my daughter had colic and cried non stop everynight. it wass really hard to even have the time to go to the bathroom. Just Be strong. One thing i learn is that time will pass and he will grow up. Try your best ! perhaps u can grab some Healthy snacks store in cupboards and if u really need to eat. grab the healthy snacks and cheww away. How bout chewing Gums ?

For me is when my Daughter drive me crazy. whenever i can . i Go take a shower and just Breathe.... refresh myself. i too am struggling to loose weight ( likewise. i eat when i stress out) just letting u knoe u are not alone.

alise_lmx · October 2011

My son doesn't have adhd but my neighbor's kid does, he stresses her out a lot too. He takes medicine, that helps, but she also tries to adjust his diet to see if certain things make it worse. Not sure what she does exactly but it's an idea. Maybe you can find some other moms with kids with adhd? Like a support group? Maybe his pediatrician can help.

Rain_Howard · October 2011

I've experienced very similar issues for many many years. I have actually started a blog to write down what I've tried, what's worked and what hasn't. http://www.rainhoward.blogspot.com I personally have found that finding time to meditate helps me greatly. Having high energy children makes life very stressful.

cmriverside · October 2011

ADHD kids are creative, sensitive and fun. They may be a little exhausting, but it's not a reason to let your life go off track. With his boundless energy, maybe you two can find some exercise to do together.

I'm sure a healthy nutritious diet will be the best medicine.

77tes · October 2011

Please do not think I am being judgmental or anything like that. I sincerely sympathize. However, you taking care of yourself will make you better able to care for your son. The organization it takes to make healthy meals and workout may help the overall organization of your whole household and as a result make things better with your son. I know that it is hard to keep motivated when life gets tough, but it is worth it. And try to work in a little down time into your schedule -- you need it! :flowerforyou:

angee1126 · October 2011

I have 4 sons, 1 is ADHD and the other is Autistic ........the best advice i can give you is, you can't let it control you! Your son has ADHD......it isn't the end of the world.....yes, it is stressful, yes it will try your nerves on a daily basis but your kid will mirror off of your emotions, reactions, etc. You have to be strong mentally & physically to keep up with them and help them with their disorder! The way i stopped stressed eating ....i just realized that no one controls my eating BUT ME!!! Good luck & keep your head up! :happy:

naonah · October 2011

Wow. I sympathize with you. I have a teenage daughter who gets under my skin sometimes. Drives me to food too. When you're about to eat for stress try having a warm drink to sip on instead. Go for a walk, chew gum...how about keeping a journal to channel your feelings? Exercising could help too, but I understand that being tired could get in the way of that. When your hand is reaching for a snack to relieve the stress, talk to yourself. Ask yourself if your about to eat because of stress. If yes, get away from the kitchen and do something else.

Not sure if you've heard all of this before....good luck to you and remember that it's temporary (at least I hope for you).

kelcievouk · October 2011

I was a kid with ADHD, I've recently asked my mom how she handled my hyper active childhood without going crazy. Her response was "tired you out!". I was put into every sport and activity imaginable as a kid. Obviously this sort of solution wouldn't work for everyone, sports and activities are expensive! But if you do have the option, it's a tried and true method to maintaining your sanity. Hope this helped

Jorra · October 2011

I would recommend the book "Little Monster" if you haven't already read it. It's written from the perspective of someone who grew up undiagnosed. He's now has a PhD in special education. Besides being an autobiography, it has some tips and suggestions on channeling ADHD energy in positive ways.

lindalou4850 · October 2011

Please don't give up,weight loss is such a strugle. My kids are all grown up,but my 2 boys had adhd.It was a very difficult time.you have to keep telling yourself "I did so good i am not going to quit now."This may sound silly but get a pic of yourself put it on the fridgeand ask yourself "Do i want to do this again" hang in there It does get better.

Pebble321 · October 2011

It sounds like things are tough, but try to make a little bit of time for you and use that time to exercise. It's the best stress-buster I know.

Beezil · October 2011

My son has ADHD and he is in 4th grade, 9 years old. Extremely energetic - and boy does he like to push people's buttons. I understand what you're going through very well. Some things that have helped me over the years to cope with the stress:

Let him run around outside as much as possible, whether it be playing at the park or playing basketball with him, at that point I can usually just sit down and relax, take some me time to unwind and reset.

Small rewards - I personally use television time and video game time as they are his favorite things right now. I know these things aren't the best option, but a limited amount of time given as a reward for good choices and good behaviors is a great way to teach him the right way to conduct himself, and boosts his self-esteem when he earns it. Candy, small toys, money, special time with mommy (where you guys play one of his favorite games together or take a walk to his favorite park or something) are also things I use as rewards.

If all else fails - I set him loose in his room. Sometimes he's simply being uncontrollable, but as long as he's not in danger of hurting himself (or destroying my house) I've found it's best to contain that in his room. If I tell him he has to go to his room because of his behavior, he most always does without much of a fight. That way at least if he's making a ton of noise or breaking things, they are his things, and the noise isn't as bothersome. I also bought myself a bunch of pairs of ear plugs for when I simply cannot take it anymore! I was getting terrible migraines, my blood pressure would go up, and I'd get very stressed out very quickly after dealing with it all day. So yeah, being able to completely tune it out, even for just a few minutes is a HUGE help for me I've found.

Structure, organization, repetition! - These things are very important for a child with ADHD. If he knows what to expect, things will go much more smoothly. It's not easy, but teaching him organization skills will also help him organize his thoughts better, and that can help overall with his behavior. I don't have much else as far as advice, I wish I did. I know how hard it is though, so just hang in there and try your best not to let things get to you!

Good luck!

harleigh67 · October 2011

First thing I would do is check your area for a very patient but strict martial arts instructor and let them meet your son and enroll him for a trial, When I did tae kwon do we had several kids in the classes who had ADHD, it teaches them discipline and also lets them burn up some energy, My daughter was his youngest student at 3(adhd),my other daughter was 5 and I (adhd)all did it together to start. My kids would practice with me at home when we didn;t go to the dojo, Second there are some diets that are recommended to help with ADHD, If you choose to look into it, the classes helped me loose 16 pounds the first month I did it and about 35 within 6 months and it tuckered my little one down and helped her focus, it taught us to patience, discipline, and got us into shape. It was the biggest STRESS releiver I ever found.

aethompson5507 · October 2011

thanks guys. my son is almost 4 , and my daughter is almost 3. and im married, but my husband has an odd work schedule, so it leaves me with the kids almost ALL of the time by myself . hes too young to be put on medicine but i have tried changing his diet (dyi free foods) but its too expensive and i cant keep doing that. we do eat healthy usually. just with the stress i find myself eating more , instead of the portion size. and i do have an issue with stress and anxiety. i do take medication for it actually. ...also, i know he is a very creative kid, but he doesnt want to sit down for more than 2 min. to do something (coloring, play dough, painting, puzzles, movies, video games, playing with toys, and the list goes on and on. ) he doesnt even want to sit still to eat a meal. hes constantly radiating in his seat , non stop moving. constantly running through the house, yelling. talking, screaming. the only time his mouth and feet arent moving is when hes sleeping. at night. he wont nap anymore because hes too busy being busy. this also gets in the way of exercise because i cant get him to stay out of the way while im trying to workout, and he wont do something with me, so i feel kinda screwed. ...oh and i also have plantar fachiasitis (sp. ?) but thats basically carpeltunnel in the foot. and i have a heel spur. causing more than extreme pain. the only way to help is to put my feet up and stay off of them. not possible with my lifestyle. but anyways, ...i get overwhelmed very easily, and when i have two kids that im basically on my own with alllll day long, the amount of pressure and stress that i feel is just too overwhelming. it makes me HATE being a stay at home mom, and no mother should have to say that they hate staying home with their kids :frown: im trying to deal with this, its just being a bit much at the moment. ....im also having major surgery next week. a hysterectomy. im dealing with loosing my womenhood basically. im scared my husband and i wont be the same. but then again, i hope it makes us closer. but theres so much that im scared about. ive just never had to deal with anything like this before.

aethompson5507 · October 2011

My son has ADHD and he is in 4th grade, 9 years old. Extremely energetic - and boy does he like to push people's buttons. I understand what you're going through very well. Some things that have helped me over the years to cope with the stress:

Let him run around outside as much as possible, whether it be playing at the park or playing basketball with him, at that point I can usually just sit down and relax, take some me time to unwind and reset.

Small rewards - I personally use television time and video game time as they are his favorite things right now. I know these things aren't the best option, but a limited amount of time given as a reward for good choices and good behaviors is a great way to teach him the right way to conduct himself, and boosts his self-esteem when he earns it. Candy, small toys, money, special time with mommy (where you guys play one of his favorite games together or take a walk to his favorite park or something) are also things I use as rewards.

If all else fails - I set him loose in his room. Sometimes he's simply being uncontrollable, but as long as he's not in danger of hurting himself (or destroying my house) I've found it's best to contain that in his room. If I tell him he has to go to his room because of his behavior, he most always does without much of a fight. That way at least if he's making a ton of noise or breaking things, they are his things, and the noise isn't as bothersome. I also bought myself a bunch of pairs of ear plugs for when I simply cannot take it anymore! I was getting terrible migraines, my blood pressure would go up, and I'd get very stressed out very quickly after dealing with it all day. So yeah, being able to completely tune it out, even for just a few minutes is a HUGE help for me I've found.

Structure, organization, repetition! - These things are very important for a child with ADHD. If he knows what to expect, things will go much more smoothly. It's not easy, but teaching him organization skills will also help him organize his thoughts better, and that can help overall with his behavior. I don't have much else as far as advice, I wish I did. I know how hard it is though, so just hang in there and try your best not to let things get to you! Good luck!

oh yes...sounds 100% like me lol. thanks for the advice :flowerforyou:

srandle175 · October 2011

thanks guys. my son is almost 4 , and my daughter is almost 3. and im married, but my husband has an odd work schedule, so it leaves me with the kids almost ALL of the time by myself . hes too young to be put on medicine but i have tried changing his diet (dyi free foods) but its too expensive and i cant keep doing that. we do eat healthy usually. just with the stress i find myself eating more , instead of the portion size. and i do have an issue with stress and anxiety. i do take medication for it actually. ...also, i know he is a very creative kid, but he doesnt want to sit down for more than 2 min. to do something (coloring, play dough, painting, puzzles, movies, video games, playing with toys, and the list goes on and on. ) he doesnt even want to sit still to eat a meal. hes constantly radiating in his seat , non stop moving. constantly running through the house, yelling. talking, screaming. the only time his mouth and feet arent moving is when hes sleeping. at night. he wont nap anymore because hes too busy being busy. this also gets in the way of exercise because i cant get him to stay out of the way while im trying to workout, and he wont do something with me, so i feel kinda screwed. ...oh and i also have plantar fachiasitis (sp. ?) but thats basically carpeltunnel in the foot. and i have a heel spur. causing more than extreme pain. the only way to help is to put my feet up and stay off of them. not possible with my lifestyle. but anyways, ...i get overwhelmed very easily, and when i have two kids that im basically on my own with alllll day long, the amount of pressure and stress that i feel is just too overwhelming. it makes me HATE being a stay at home mom, and no mother should have to say that they hate staying home with their kids :frown: im trying to deal with this, its just being a bit much at the moment. ....im also having major surgery next week. a hysterectomy. im dealing with loosing my womenhood basically. im scared my husband and i wont be the same. but then again, i hope it makes us closer. but theres so much that im scared about. ive just never had to deal with anything like this before.

Thanks for posting this topic. Your son sounds just like my son. But my son is 6. And I have a hyper 1 year old also. My 6 year old drives my 1 year old crazy. It should be the other way around. I swear when he sleeps he dreams of ways he can torture me when hes awake. I find myself yelling a lot and it is not good. Because in return he yells. Its a never ending battle. I hope I can find a way to live with a child with ADHD before it completely rules my life! Good luck!!!

buckaroos30 · October 2011

My youngest son had ADHD and we did every thing wrong while dealing with it. I can't tell you how stressful it was dealing with all the goes with this. I wish we had a redo. But I can tell you that he will make it through it. We now have a wonderful loving 21 yr. old son that we couldn't be more proud of. I do not have any magic advice for you because we never found just the right thing that really helped us. But I wish you luck and hang in it does get better.

kennethmgreen · October 2011

I'm sorry you are struggling. Raising kids is a tough job. I don't know you or you family or your situation. I do have some experience in direct child care settings, and I feel sad that kids are getting diagnosed with ADHD at such a young age. Again, I don't know you, your kid or your doctor, so I am in no place to judge you. But I do have an opinion that the label ADHD gets overused in the U.S. I also think it can create an over-medicated child. This is a problem (and opinion) that is beyond your situation, but is related.

How does this help you, OP? I don't know. I guess what I want to say to you is that you don't have to be chained to a diagnosis. In other words, sometimes a diagnosis is just that - it's informative and even helpful. It can help us put a label on something we've been struggling with - an "a=ha" moment of acceptance and even empowerment. People with substance abuse and eating disorders can go through this. Parents with special needs kids can go through this. And sometimes a label is an albatross, a reminder of something "wrong" - even a stressor in and of itself. It can be an unspoken weight, a source of frustration, even shame. I hope this isn't what your child's diagnosis means to you.

I don't know if you got multiple opinions after the diagnosis, but I hope you continue to regularly review it - especially if medication is being used. My feeling/opinion about diagnoses is that they simply give us more specific tools to address something. That your son was diagnosed with ADHD doesn't change anything about him, you, or anyone else. It just means there may be some specific tools or methods that could prove more successful with behavior management, learning, etc. There is some good advice in this thread already. My opinions about ADHD labels aside, I'm glad you posted and hope you find some tools to help you with your kid. Your profile says you are young, so you've got more energy than me!

Parenting is often a struggle, and just because it's hard or you are frustrated doesn't necessarily mean you are doing it wrong. Glad you asked for help. Your family is beautiful, by the way.

ilookthetype · October 2011

I'd suggest doing some research about diet change and it's effect on "ADHD" children. I went gluten free and my ADD went away. I know quite a few people have decided not to do medication and changed their kids' diet and the ADHD became much more manageable.

Edit: I know its not a direct answer but it might help with the energetic kid.

sunkisses · October 2011

Without knowing what your schedule with the kids looks like every day, forgive my vagueness when I say "embrace his energy". Find ways to turn what he already does into something useful to you so his sense of "normal" is not driving you insane all day. In other words, if he is the type to take off running somewhere - take him somewhere that he can do that. If you have to run along with him - log it as exercise.

My eldest son has ADHD. I didn't medicate until he was in 4th grade because he was just unable to sit still and learn the multiplication tables that would help him pass his grade. He was also physically aggressive to other students and constantly disruptive in class. Honestly, I didn't like medicating him. He's off of it now, and he's not a great student without it, sadly, but he won't be malnourished and miss a growth spurt because his pill took away his appetite.

Definitely look into more in-depth diet changes. Google hyperactivity redirection and similar terms for ideas. Good luck.

eating because of stress, my son has ADHD

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