trying really hard NOT to give up

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neveradullmoment
neveradullmoment Posts: 90
in Motivation and Support
Ok...So I have been counting my calories for a while and I try to get into the gym when I can. I have even done WW. And I have lost some weight but.....I feel like I can't do this! I have NO self control at all! I have tried NOT buying junk for the house and that does work until I go somewhere where there is junk. Some of my family started a weight loss challenge and well that started out good, until the weight DIDN'T come off. My mom and dad are still doing the challenge and I am SO PROUD of them!! They are doing GREAT!!! (I think that my mom is going to win!) I say well if my mom and dad can do then so can I....but then I can't. I have no control when it comes to the things that I shouldn't have and then when I have those things, I CAN'T have a little I HAVE to a lot and then I feel AWFUL about having the things I should be avoiding. My husband try's to be supportive but then I get frustrated with him when he asks me if I am supposed to have that.

I will do good and lose a little and then what ever I lose comes right back and I mean like when I get on the scale the next week its back! It makes me want to say screw it I will just eat what I want. I have gotten to the point where I don't even enter in all of my food, cause I don't want to see how far over I went in my calories.

I am a HUGE fan of the Biggest Loser and I always tell myself, well if they can do it so can I. But I can't. My husband told me this evening that maybe we need to go to the Biggest Loser getaway where they teach you how to eat and what you need to do to lose weight. UGH!!

Tonight we went out to eat and I did ok...until my boys didn't eat all of their dinner so I felt the need to nibble off of their plates. WHY? Because it was there! Now as I write this I feel like a failure, why can't I have self control like my mom and dad and so many others on MFP?? I have thought about signing back up for WW and doing WW and MFP. I just don't know what to do anymore. I have no desire to get on the scale because I know it will not show a loss but a gain.

Maybe I should just get over it and suck it up but this is very hard for me. I have found some great support on MFP and I have cherished and appreciated it all but I don't know what to do to get thru this.

I have 2 children, 8 and 10, who have 2 different learning disabilities so that takes up most of my time in the evening. My husband is a police officer so more evenings than not I am a single mom. Maybe it is the stress that is making it hard to lose the weight. UGH!! I just don't know what to do, I do know that I DON'T want to give up.

Replies

  • Contrarian
    Contrarian Posts: 8,138 Member
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    I would urge you to read the success stories on here. If they can do it, so can you. You have to want it, though. At some point, being healthy and strong has to become more important than eating whatever you want.
  • blondski
    blondski Posts: 36 Member
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    I can relate to this. I wish I had an answer for you. Maybe we will learn this together.......
  • hhcote
    hhcote Posts: 78 Member
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    Don't give up! I understand exactly how you feel. I lost initially, but now weight is the same. Our bodies are very efficient at keeping weight for the days of famine. I'll survive a long time in a desert! :laugh:

    I remember spending an entire 4 mos (doesn't sound like much, but it was hard for me) and I ate right, swam and exercised daily. Not a pound, not an inch. I cried more times that I care to admit. I have to keep the faith and try again. I just have to.

    Friend me if you want - we can keep each other going!

    Helen
  • shanna0413
    shanna0413 Posts: 600 Member
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    maybe look for some support thats close to you. maybe not family but people from mfp that live nearby. that might help motivate you. i understan that your busy but a weekly meeting at a park with the kids or an online meeting.
  • Cookie_4
    Cookie_4 Posts: 152 Member
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    You are definitely not alone in feeling like you have no self control. My weight loss journey thus far sounds very similar to yours... I would do well for about a month and lose weight and feel better... But for some reason, I fall off the wagon and live an unhealthy lifestyle again only to gain all the weight back :-( I've tried WW, Jenny and many other programs only to see the people doing the program with me lose weight and keep it off while I struggle. I'm still trying to figure out why I "fail" and if anyone can offer advice, that'd be wonderful... Until then, be proud that you're back on here continuing to try. Don't give up... Try to figure out what's causing you to not stick with it and try to remedy those problems.

    You can friend me if you need some extra support from someone who totally understands how hard and frustrating it is. Good luck!
  • reepobob
    reepobob Posts: 1,172 Member
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    I would urge you to read the success stories on here. If they can do it, so can you. You have to want it, though. At some point, being healthy and strong has to become more important than eating whatever you want.

    ^^^^^ This....especially the "You have to want it, though" part....
  • K1Teacher
    K1Teacher Posts: 324 Member
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    For me, it was a choice. Period. I had a few rough days here and there starting out but stuck to it and it got easier and easier.
  • trac3
    trac3 Posts: 134 Member
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    Don't give up ~ it's a lot like trying to quit smoking ~ sometimes it takes a while!! The fact that you are addressing it and discussing it is part of the battle...... I hear some of me in your post ~ I have a real "all or nothing" mentality ~ I must be perfect, or I completely fall off the wagon and binge (I cringe just saying that, but it's true). I've been screwing off for over a year now on MFP, and I've lost a whopping two pounds total (bounced up and down about 8 lbs, the same 8 lbs of course)..... however, I am starting to change some behaviors, and I'm really trying to dig deep and get to the root of the problem with my eating ~ why I'm an emotional/stress eater. I'm working hard on moderation and going slowly ~ I want this to be a life-long change! Some days I do great, and most days I suck, but I'm not giving up this time ~ you shouldn't either! Hang in there!:flowerforyou:
  • BabyDuchess
    BabyDuchess Posts: 353 Member
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    I'd like to offer you a little tough love and please know that I gave myself this tough love as well about a year ago. We are definitely what we tell ourselves we are. We can do exactly what we tell ourselves we can or can't do. We will only push ourselves as far as we tell ourselves that we can go. I read A LOT of CAN'Ts in your post. So my suggestion to you is to think of the positive aspects of losing weight, such as getting healthier, setting a healthier example to your children and family, feeling better with more energy. These things CAN be accomplished by the power of positive thinking. Our brains absorb what we think, be it negative or positive. There is absolutely NO reason why you can't become healthier.....the only thing/person stopping you is you. You have to be the one to do this, no one can do it for you. I say this to you from a place in me that's been where you are and 87 lbs and almost a year later I know for a fact that you CAN do anything you tell yourself you can. Fill your mind with the positive......we take in what we put out. :flowerforyou:
  • ktfitzgerald
    ktfitzgerald Posts: 369 Member
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    Don't give up!!! You can do this. It might be one little step at a time, but you CAN do it!! It may take some time to form different habits, but you're not a failure as long as you keep trying. It is hard, but I promise you the payoff is worth it! YOU ARE WORTH IT!!!
  • SafireBleu
    SafireBleu Posts: 881 Member
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    I have had the same problem. I get it. I also binge eat. I stay away from the foods but when it is in front of me then I can't stay away from it. This time I am trying to stick to it. I am going to WW the meetings help a lot even on bad days and I have read the book Overcoming Binge Eating. You should eat it. Even if you don't think you can relate there is a lot in it that strikes a cord.
  • lizgreenhill
    lizgreenhill Posts: 185
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    hello. i know just how you feel. I tried losing the weight for the longest time and i didnt lose a pound, i felt so discouraged and it felt like nothing was going to make my weight go down. I have asthma and with being overweight it puts alot of stress on my body and it makes it difficult for me to workout and stuff like that but i push through it knowing that the more i go the quicker and easier the weight will go away. I tried MFP and it has been a great success with me. without checking in my calories no matter how bad they were sometimes i know that thats what i needed to do realize that i need to change what i was doing. I am highly unmotivated most of the time but i find time and ways to walk or throw in a few sit ups or push ups or something and just watch what i ate. I wish you all the best of luck. You can add me if you want :)
  • lb7970
    lb7970 Posts: 79 Member
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    I agree with the others - Don't give up on yourself! I have alot of the same issues. If I'm not losing I get frustrated and want to eat more. Then I feel guilty and like a failure. I keep at it thinking that even if I'm not losing weight by my exercising and eating healthier I am doing better than I was. I have lowered my cholesterol and have great blood pressure. I keep at it because giving up isn't what I really want. Keep trying!
  • mamapaints
    mamapaints Posts: 206 Member
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    You CAN do it! But you have to really want it.... here are a couple tips that help me to stay focused:

    1.) if you feel like you are starting to blow your day, do NOT let the rest of the day slide w/ the mentality of having tomorrow be a better day. Because it won't, not with that mentality. It's the old mantra "don't put off for tomorrow what you can accomplish today". Every hour counts. Stop the madness and wait for your tummy to growl before you eat again. Our over-eating is self-abuse.

    2.) For me personally, I do not restrict the foods I eat. If I'm craving peanut butter m&m's, then I allow myself some.... but I make sure I have room in my calories to do that. In the past, any time I decided I was through with junk food, I was setting myself up for failure in the long term, plain and simple. Moderation is key.
  • jazzalea
    jazzalea Posts: 412 Member
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    The thing you have to remember, is that you aren't alone in this fight. Everyone on here is here because we've all felt the same frustrations and hopelessness that you are feeling right now.

    If what you're doing isn't working for you, then it's time to change it up.

    You need to focus on one plan of attack and give it time to kick in.... keep it simple and keep you and your weight loss a priority in your mind all day..... every time you get up to change the channel you are supporting YOU in your goals. Mentally praise yourself for taking the extra few steps instead of leaning over to reach. it's not good enough to go without dressing on your salad..... have the dressing!....... but take some extra steps when you're making your lunch........ Become aware of your posture and start walking the way you want to walk when you finish your journey. You might as well start practicing now...... :)

    I promise there is no magic to this and I was just as lost as you were when I started this last attempt.....I finally know why no one will tell you "the secret"... it's because every day was a different struggle and different challenge and I had to learn how to meet all of those challenges on my own......but this time I was determined that I wasn't going to let it intimidate me into giving up.....
  • Yanicka1
    Yanicka1 Posts: 4,564 Member
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    You might benefit talking to a specialist in food addiction....or maybe just a psychologist. It help to go at the bottom of the real problem. You do not have to do this alone...and I do not want you to think that I am saying you are crazy LOL.

    Good luck
  • ksmith2187
    ksmith2187 Posts: 53
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    For me it so not a physical issue of being able to lose the weight its mental - 90% off the battle is teaching your mind what you need not what you want. Keep going because it only gets easier. We all plateu. There is so much inspiration around you, please dont give up - think of where you want to be and push ahead.

    I'll help anytime you need it.. and im sure you can help me.

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