Friends with your EX-Spouse???

AZTrailRunner
AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
I was wondering how many people here actually got along better with their ex-spouse after the divorce.

Replies

  • Dexy_
    Dexy_ Posts: 593 Member
    Honestly I don't think it's healthy. EVERY couple is different but that's my opinion.

    Sure, be civil if there are kids involved! But being actual friends is dangerous, because odds are one of you will believe it's something more which leads to more hurt feelings.
  • surfrgrl1
    surfrgrl1 Posts: 1,464 Member
    I got along with him better after the divorce mainly because I never saw him again. Ever. :devil:
  • digitaldigital
    digitaldigital Posts: 73 Member
    wait it said spouse :3
  • sandrinamsilva
    sandrinamsilva Posts: 651 Member
    We did! Actually when we were signing our divorce docs at the court house the judge asked if we were sure we wanted a divorce. We were playing catch up since it had been 2 years. But YES we both still wanted that divorce!

    Now no, but thats probably for the best.
  • glockster972
    glockster972 Posts: 704 Member
    I do not fall into this category. I think I dislike her more now that right after the divorce.
  • sarah_ep
    sarah_ep Posts: 580 Member
    My parents are friends. I think it is because they are getting older and they do not live close to other family.

    My dad is pretty clear and consistent about boundaries. So there have not been any hurt feelings.. yet.

    ETA: It took around 10-12 years before they were friends again.
  • AmyJo54915
    AmyJo54915 Posts: 103
    I got along with him better after the divorce mainly because I never saw him again. Ever. :devil:

    Nice!:smile:
  • Tegan74
    Tegan74 Posts: 202
    LOL ~ well I dont want to crack his skull now so I suppose I could say yes :smokin:
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    There are times I have a strong distaste for the man and I can't figure out why we married.
    And there are times I think he's a somewhat ok person but still can't figure out why we married.

    We're pretty decent to each other for the most part.
  • ElementalMoe
    ElementalMoe Posts: 186 Member
    I much prefer my Ex now that we're divorced, but we were never the couple to fight anyways. We still joke and get along - We're just happier without each other. And it's good for our daughter, too, so she sees that her parents don't hate one another.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I've never been married, but I've had a handful of long-term relationships. My exes are all cool with me, except one. That's because in order to get through our breakup he threw himself into his religion and became someone I'm not compatible with as friends. Plus his wife is horrifyingly insecure and forbids him to speak to me anyway.

    There's one ex I dislike right now, but that's because it's been less than a year since we broke up. I normally like him as a person. Provided he doesn't flip out and go all right-wing on me, I'll be friends with him in the future, too.
  • usmcmp
    usmcmp Posts: 21,219 Member
    No, still hate him and might actually hate him more. I try to be civil because of the kids but he's a bigger **** now than ever. It get a little better when he has a new girlfriend he's trying to impress by pretending he's a good dad.
  • kimmerc1331
    kimmerc1331 Posts: 40 Member
    Well, this will probably shock some people, but my ex-husband and I re-married. So we got divorced, stayed in touch and then a few years later got back together and remarried. Its been almost 10 years that we have been together again and 2 kids later we are happier then ever. :)
  • supertracylynn
    supertracylynn Posts: 1,338 Member
    I honestly think my spouse and I (active, but open to the point where we're quite separate) get along better not trying to act like a married couple. We get along well, talk, laugh, etc... When we're not in the same room. Different countries? Even better!!

    When we were Tying to do the monogomous thing, though, it was quite toxic and ugly. :noway:
  • HollieDoodles
    HollieDoodles Posts: 678 Member
    Well, I am constantly reminded of why I left him in the first place. We are civil to each other. Truth be told.... I can't stand him AT ALL! I get sick to my stomach when he calls or I have to drop off my son. Thank goodness for acting abilities. I'm pretty good at pretending he doesn't make me want to run him over with my truck.
    Before the divorce, I only wanted to kill him the last 5 or 6 years of our 13 1/2 year marriage. So there's that :)
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    My mom and dad were very good friends their whole lives, he made a horrible husband but a great friend . Of course it caused some issues between my mom and step dad bc my dad was in love with my mom til the day he died (June this year) and my mom was always there for him. My dad never got with another woman after him and my mom divorced which was sad, but their friendship made him happy. This of course was an extraordinary circumstance , you cant force something like that it just happens.
  • terewilliams
    terewilliams Posts: 339 Member
    OMG! I was his first wife!!!!:laugh: He's on divorce no. 3! :laugh: I speak to him about the kids maybe twice a year- they are grown! :blushing: What does that tell you?
  • AZTrailRunner
    AZTrailRunner Posts: 1,199 Member
    I guess I should've specified for only those who got along with their exes, as it's fairly obvious that most won't.
  • ahsongbird
    ahsongbird Posts: 712 Member
    as a matter of fact, my dads urn with his ashes in it, sits on top of my mom and step dads computer desk in the middle of their living room with all our family photos.
  • Iamfit4life
    Iamfit4life Posts: 3,095 Member
    I guess I should've specified for only those who got along with their exes, as it's fairly obvious that most won't.

    It takes a little bit of time. I think we are helped by the idea that our kids are both of our first priorities. It makes it much easier to see the bigger picture.

    The only reason it did take a little time, is because there is always one person more ready to sever ties than the other.
  • nz_deevaa
    nz_deevaa Posts: 12,209 Member
    I'm friends with my ex-husband, we have him and his new wife over for Christmas every other year, and we go out go to dinner for our son's birthday etc.

    My ex-husbands new wife is on bed-rest with her pregnancy at the moment, and we (my husband, son and I) spent 4hrs visiting with her this past weekend.

    I think it helped that my ex spent 3yrs in Japan after we broke up.
  • cruiseking
    cruiseking Posts: 338 Member
    I work with the ex every day (married 11 years). We own the business together. Even though she did a wicked thing to me (twice), and I was totally innocent through it all, I am happy that she is remarried and expecting her second child. I have found that foregiveness is a selfish act. We are still friends, and she even apologized after about a year. Life is too short for hate. The best revenge, is to live well.
  • quietlywinning
    quietlywinning Posts: 889 Member
    No. I am not friends with my ex. I will never be friends with my ex-husband. He has a propensity towards violence, particularly towards me and our children, and I allow no contact whatsoever between him & myself. It's why I am still alive.

    I dated a guy who was friends with his ex. I didn't think it was an issue - they've been divorced and she's remarried for over 20 years. It never became an issue while we were together. However, weirdly, though we never had a big blow up or any type of fight at all, we just parted ways, he can't be friends with me. That is what I found weird!! Maybe he does still have feelings for her? If so (either way, really) I dodged a bullet when the relationship ended!!
  • casi_ann
    casi_ann Posts: 423 Member
    Never see him and never want to
  • Deathwithab
    Deathwithab Posts: 462 Member
    im far from friendly to him, actualy havent talked to him in over 2 years
  • MîîśÊmÿłõü
    MîîśÊmÿłõü Posts: 285 Member
    m ex and i werent married but were together 2 years , had baby then separated,
    we used to fight sooo bad but now its fine, i spose we have some weird understanding of each other now, or maybe he decided to grow up lol either one, its a kinda healthy adult relationship
  • amfaery
    amfaery Posts: 267 Member
    I m intmisddle of a divorce 50 days to go :) but we do seem to get along a little better
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