Self Control Issues

AmyLou9903
AmyLou9903 Posts: 73
edited September 19 in Health and Weight Loss
Hi all, this may be long, so I apologize in advance.

I have been on MFP since January. I have had no problem getting into an exercise routine. I hate exercise, but I do it at least 5 days a week--I run 2 miles 2x a week now, and do a dvd the other 3 days, plus some fitness walking about 5 days a week.

My problem is that I have no self control. I fully realize a huge part of me being fat is that I like to eat. And I like to eat yummy (ie BAD) foods. And a LOT of them. In college, I kept my weight/BMI very close to normal due to a number of things (walking around campus with a backpack of 20 lbs all day, being very busy and not keeping bad foods around, although I ate out (pizza, etc) a TON).

But now, I work from home, have a toddler and a husband (with a metabolism that regularly burns around 3,000+ cals off a day!!!) who refuses to eat anything remotely healthy. Therefore, we have a lot of "bad" foods in the house (seriously, he eats nothing but meat, eggs, cheese, candy and chips. but that's not the point). The point is, temptation is everywhere. Even when I go to the store, I cannot help but grab a bag of baked potato chips for myself (as an alternative to hubby's even worse ones) and then I come home and they are gone in 2 days. When I make supper, I eat 2 servings, even if I'm pretty full after 1 serving. I don't WANT to eat it, I just DO. And I know I shouldn't. It's like there's no "off" switch.

In high school, I was very unfit, unhappy and weighed 180 pounds, all of which was fat (i had issues walking around a track once). Now, I'm back up near that weight, but I'm in my better physical shape. Yet I'm still having self control issues.

How do I move past them? What can I do to keep myself from eating whatever I want? I thought being accountable and logging my calories would help, but it doesn't appear to be the right strategy for *me.* I know journaling and being accountable helps everyone else here immensely, but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I see those numbers and it just doesn't faze me like it should. I feel awesome logging my exercise--that's very motivational--but for some reason, the calories and food log doesn't motivate me whatsoever.

What are some strategies to control myself as far as portion sizes and food choices, and some way to make myself accountable for stopping? How do I "just say no?" I'm sick of yo-yo dieting and I want to be healthy and a good example to my toddler!

Tough love is appreciated, but please do more than just tell me "stop eating." That won't really help me much, cuz I tell myself that every single day.

Thanks all.

Replies

  • Hi all, this may be long, so I apologize in advance.

    I have been on MFP since January. I have had no problem getting into an exercise routine. I hate exercise, but I do it at least 5 days a week--I run 2 miles 2x a week now, and do a dvd the other 3 days, plus some fitness walking about 5 days a week.

    My problem is that I have no self control. I fully realize a huge part of me being fat is that I like to eat. And I like to eat yummy (ie BAD) foods. And a LOT of them. In college, I kept my weight/BMI very close to normal due to a number of things (walking around campus with a backpack of 20 lbs all day, being very busy and not keeping bad foods around, although I ate out (pizza, etc) a TON).

    But now, I work from home, have a toddler and a husband (with a metabolism that regularly burns around 3,000+ cals off a day!!!) who refuses to eat anything remotely healthy. Therefore, we have a lot of "bad" foods in the house (seriously, he eats nothing but meat, eggs, cheese, candy and chips. but that's not the point). The point is, temptation is everywhere. Even when I go to the store, I cannot help but grab a bag of baked potato chips for myself (as an alternative to hubby's even worse ones) and then I come home and they are gone in 2 days. When I make supper, I eat 2 servings, even if I'm pretty full after 1 serving. I don't WANT to eat it, I just DO. And I know I shouldn't. It's like there's no "off" switch.

    In high school, I was very unfit, unhappy and weighed 180 pounds, all of which was fat (i had issues walking around a track once). Now, I'm back up near that weight, but I'm in my better physical shape. Yet I'm still having self control issues.

    How do I move past them? What can I do to keep myself from eating whatever I want? I thought being accountable and logging my calories would help, but it doesn't appear to be the right strategy for *me.* I know journaling and being accountable helps everyone else here immensely, but it doesn't seem to be working for me. I see those numbers and it just doesn't faze me like it should. I feel awesome logging my exercise--that's very motivational--but for some reason, the calories and food log doesn't motivate me whatsoever.

    What are some strategies to control myself as far as portion sizes and food choices, and some way to make myself accountable for stopping? How do I "just say no?" I'm sick of yo-yo dieting and I want to be healthy and a good example to my toddler!

    Tough love is appreciated, but please do more than just tell me "stop eating." That won't really help me much, cuz I tell myself that every single day.

    Thanks all.
  • 1Corinthians13
    1Corinthians13 Posts: 5,296 Member
    Have you tried to discuss this with your husband and trying to gradually ease the both of you into better foods? Perhaps when you make dinner - make yours. Tell your hubby if he wants something else, he can cook it. Not because you're trying to be mean, but because you need to do this. Also, with the dinner portions - as soon as you're done cooking, put away everything but your one serving - if it's 4 servings, put one on your plate, and the other three in containers and into the fridge for later.

    I hope that helps. I live alone, so I just avoid the chip aisle and don't buy that stuff. Period. B/c if I do...it's gone.
  • ttoombs
    ttoombs Posts: 220 Member
    Wow, that sounds just like me. I buy my husband chips and ice cream and such, I don't eat them but I over eat on my low-fat and fat-free snacks thus sabotaging the reason I buy them. I also eat over at meal times except during the day. It's hard to cook for 2 people when I'm used to cooking for 4. I guess I need to start trying to cook for me and hubby and not have so much leftovers to chomp on. Good luck on finding your way to weight loss. :smile:
  • firewalking
    firewalking Posts: 335 Member
    I had the exact same issue. The solution that worked best for me is the one I cling to every day. I stop and ask myself which one I want more...food I've already tasted - that will be around until the day I die - or the feeling I get when I lose a pound or an inch.

    I began to reiterate over and over that I am in control of what I do. I fully committed to the long term goal and will not allow myself to be derailed by a cookie.

    I also placed a 'before' photo of myself (the one that made me realize I needed to lose weight) on my fridge and one by the pantry with the yummy foods in it.

    If I am going to cheat, I know well in advance and run a little more to burn more calories.

    You are in control of you. You are the decision maker in your own life. What do you want to do more? Pick a side, then fully commit to that side. The food will always be there.

    Something else that really helped me was that I kept my hands very busy so that eating would just be incovenient....learn to crochet, needlepoint, start a diary or write a children's book which tells your child about your life growing up (like a memory book) - typing takes two hands - and the thoughts keep your brain entertained, start scrap-booking....the busier you keep your mind and hands - the more difficult it is to eat.

    I hope this helps....it really helped me. Good luck.
  • RiverRatChick
    RiverRatChick Posts: 115 Member
    If you can't do it for yourself, do it for your child. The fact is, the longer you remain overweight, the less time that your child will have you in his/her life. Also think of how your actions are influencing your child and her future eating habits. Begin a healthy lifestyle so that your child grows up knowing the correct way to eat, otherwise you are probably setting her up for a lifetime of struggle just as you experience it.
  • mamaof2girls
    mamaof2girls Posts: 332 Member
    UUUgggghhh. I know just what you mean. I have a hubby that eats the same way (and he probably loses weight!) I can get him to eat healthy dinners that I prepare, but he has to fend for himself for lunches and snacks because I work full time during the day, so there is still alot of junkfood in the house. Plus I have 2 little girls who eat ALL the time! I find myself reaching for the junk often and I have to physically walk away and go do something else to get my mind off of the food I don't need. My house has been really clean lately! :laugh: I have reminders for myself plastered all over the refridgerator to keep my mind on my goal. I have post it's with my goal weight and the date to make it by, and my workout program that I'm on right now..."couch to 5k." don't get me wrong though. It is still a struggle every day. Just keep telling yourself that "nothing tastes as good as skinny feels!!"

    HTH,
    Erin
  • Paiger
    Paiger Posts: 37 Member
    I can sure relate. I would exercise and (over)eat and wonder why I never lost any weight. I was only doing part of the formula for weight loss/good health. When I was younger I could eat anything and not gain weight, I was a string bean! That changed. But I didn't change my eating habits. A coke and a candy bar is not a good lunch! Fastfood tastes so good too - really do like it. But it really wreaks havoc on my body!
    I've gone back and forth so many times. But the only time you fail is the last time you try.
    I came to the point where as any addict does that I can't do this on my own. I needed Gods help. He provides ways of escape when the tempation is there. I have to choose what I will do. It all comes down to my own choice. I was sick of feeling frumpy and tired. I didn't like how I looked or felt. I never wanted to be one to let my appearance go. Or to use having kids as an excuse to why I was fat and out of shape. I knew deep down it was me and my own poor choices. It's been a struggle, but each time I choose the right food, or choose to get my butt out of bed and excercise - even when I don't want to - then the good feeling comes AFTER the good choice.
    I am a stay at home mom too. I am responsible to feed my family HEALTHILY and to take care of them and teach our children good eating habits, so they won't struggle like me. I believe that my life is a gift from God, and He lives in me and I must take care of this body.
    I do the grocery shopping, it's up to me what's in our home. It's a battle, for sure, but not really with my family, more with my desire for the goodies! But God is faithful and helps me in those difficult times. And each time I do the healthy choice it gets easier the next time and the next and so on. Untill it's not as hard any more. And my husband and kids support this new lifestyle. Food is not the enemy. My gluttony is! We still will have dessert. BUT I have what I can afford in calories for the day. (But if it's too tempting don't have it in the house, I've done that before too). I am learning new portion sizes for me. Which has been a big eye opener! What I thought was sensible was waaaay toooo much! And I know this takes time to change old habits, but I've got the rest of my life, and so do you. Try to stick with it for one day, and the next, and the next, pretty soon a long time will have passed and the old you will be in the past. If you still find this is not helping, perhaps you could try Weight Watchers or something like that. Just don't give up till you find what works for you!
    Take care, and you can do it!
  • nhendri
    nhendri Posts: 236 Member
    You have started with the first step you know what your doing wrong!!! Thats awesome and you need to give yourself credit for that alone.:smile: I useed to do this and have to admit I still do at times. I live with my parents (im single mom trying to payoff college) and my younger siblings. Its very hard because the food in the house is sooo bad and very tempting. I have been a yo-yo dieter for the majority of my life and it didnt help then. I finaly had to talk to my family and tell i needed their help! When I sat them down and told them how important it was for me to be HEATHY (i didnt mention weight loss or they may not have taken me seriously because Ive mde so many attempts) they listened. Now if they have foods in the house that I love like chips or cookies or the things that realy tempt me they move them around and do not put them in the main cupboard where I can see them and be tempted. As for the big portions this is a huge thing for me also!!!! what is helping me is when I make dinners I portion out everyones food on their plates and put the rest (portioned) into the fridge. I know how very hard this all is but if you truly want it and you know what your issues are youll change them. Your stuck in a cycle a pattern youv been in for a long time and it is not easy to stop or change that pattern or cycle. Give your self time to build the strength and dont be so hard on yourself. step by step is a sinch yard by yard is way too hard:wink: good luck and keep it up your worth it!!!
  • dimplzz
    dimplzz Posts: 456 Member
    I actually found my husband not wanting something if it was supposed to be "healthy". So instead of telling him that it was a healthy version of whatever, I would just make it. He absolutely loves the meatloaf muffins and the crock pot chicken taco recipe that I found on here. I like it because he will put all the toppings and still use shells and I will just eat the meat with maybe a little bit of lettuce and such. I think that when they here "healthy" they automatically assume that it is bad. Or isn't going to taste good. My husband has never really helped me as mush as he is now. I think that he finally realizes that I need his help in order to lose the weight. I am so proud of him. We have went from eating out at least 4 times a week to going out 2 times in the last month. (we are gonna blow it tonight though. We are going out for mexican food. It is his 30 birthday) He eats the salads with me instead of going and getting a burger. I know it sounds silly but does your hubby realize how much it means to you to lose some of the weight? I think that the other times I tried this, my husband just thought it was a "fad" not something that *I* was really committed to. Now that he knows that I am committed, he is committed to helping me. My grocery store trips have gone from chips, pop, and every other junk/fast food you could think of too grapes, oranges, bananas, lettuce, celery, carrots, and so on. He hasn't complained once.
  • jljohnson
    jljohnson Posts: 719 Member
    I'm very similar to you. When I was younger, I was very active and could eat whatever I wanted without gaining weight, so I didn't worry about controlling myself. Now that I'm older, I really struggle with self-control, especially when it comes to bad foods. I have a serious sweet-tooth, and love just about any kind of candy, pizza, fast food, etc.

    My husband is very similar to yours. He loves junk food... Doritos, Oreos, soda, and ice cream are staples in our house. He only likes certain healthy foods, but has no desire to try to eat better, or even expand his menu of good foods.

    Here are a few ideas to try to change things:
    1. Don't buy the alternative junk for yourself. Or if you do, buy it in pre-portioned packages (or portion it out yourself as soon as you get home from the store), and only allow yourself 1.
    2. In college, I lived with 11 other girls... sorority house. We labeled our own food, and everyone else's was off limits. Take the same approach with your husband's junk. Even write his name on it, if it helps. My husband always keeps Doritos and Oreos in our house, but I don't touch them, because they aren't mine.
    3. If you can get your husband to help, enlist him as your reminder. Ask him to question you when you're reaching for the second helping of supper.
    4. Nutrition labels are misleading. Yes, there are only 140 calories in a serving of my favorite candy, but there are 10 servings in the bag. Take a Sharpie, and write the number of calories in the entire bag in a place where you'll see it. If I saw 1400 calories staring at me, I'd be a little less likely to eat it.
    5. Hide food from yourself. It sounds stupid, but sometimes I eat just because it's convenient. If food is sitting in front of my face, I'm probably going to eat it. Sometimes just putting food inside a drawer/cupboard is enough to stop me. If you can't eat just one (single serving) bag of baked chips, put the others in your highest cupboard. Only get out the 1 per day you're allowing yourself. If you have to drag out a ladder to get a handful of chips, you might be less likely to eat multiple servings.

    I hope this helps.
  • Thanks so much for all of your replies. I think even just writing it out helped--today I was EXACTLY on calories for the first time in a week!

    I am writing down everyone's suggestions and will try to implement them. I do make supper most nights, so I can sneak in healthier subs and my hubby wouldn't necessarily know--that's a great idea. Also, I definitely shoudl just avoid buying the low-cal version of what hubs eats, too. Just a set-up for disaster.

    Thank you all for your helpful thoughts and support! :):flowerforyou:
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