WHAT HAVE I DONE!!! Am I the only one?

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Mirelurk44
Mirelurk44 Posts: 4
in Motivation and Support
So I just had my first binge moment since I've been dieting. Its been about 5 weeks and I've been so sensible and proud of myself. I've lost 5 kilos and already look and feel different. Until tonight. Enter chicken lasagna. I don't know what made me think eating two large pieces of it would make me feel better than losing weight, but one bite, and I couldn't stop. I actually cried while eating the second piece, just sitting there *chew* *swallow* *sob* *sniffle* :sad: and repeat. I don't know if I looked or felt more pathetic. As usual that evil little "oh, you've really done it now, may as well enjoy yourself" voice kicked in and I slowly started undoing a month and a halfs hard work. A bag of jelly snakes. A packet of potato chips. An extra 800 calories of totally unnecessary comfort food now sitting like lead in the bottom of my stomach.

I feel awful. I lost control. I feel like a failure with no discipline. :cry: I thought I could beat this, but tonight, it beat me. Has anyone else been here? It's so hard because at the time I can think of a million excuses as to why its ok that are so frighteningly unjustified when the deed is done... "you earned it today! reward yourself"..."just start over tomorrow.. you know you don't have the willpower today"..."hey, whats the point, you can deal with being a little chubby can't you? does it bother you that much?"

But it does. Apparently not when a giant, creamy, cheesy chicken lasagna is staring me in the face. I know I can pick myself up again, I just need encouragement. Surely I'm not the only one. I hope someone can relate to this and I can wake up and start a fresh tomorrow.

Replies

  • elissascotland
    elissascotland Posts: 256 Member
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    Shhh. No tears please. You are completely normal. Just dont do the same for at least another month :)

    Can you go for an after-meal stroll? That might help you feel better :)
  • Onthedecrease
    Onthedecrease Posts: 9
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    Congratulations on losing 5KG!

    I've been here many times! I do have days where I get totally out of control. I usually try to work smaller portions into my diet of foods that I love so that I don't go too nuts. Over time my willpower has gotten stronger and I binge eat less and less. Try not to beat yourself up about it too much, I know it's easy to say but tomorrow is a new day, you can do this! :)
  • susaneec
    susaneec Posts: 72 Member
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    I'm pretty sure every single person who has ever made the decision to live a healthier has had this happen and at multiple times along the way. You are human. It's also going to happen again. You can pretty much count on it. What matters more than one lapse in judgement are all the other times that you stayed true to your new goals. It's going to be ok.
  • flanbo
    flanbo Posts: 10
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    Oh god, I can relate; I had a binge of over 1000 calories. That felt absolutely awful, and yet I still reached a new LW after a few days.
    Binges won't set you back. They have to be frequent to cause any sort of damage. You must be feeling terrible now, but when the new day comes you'll feel a lot better. You have discipline if you've been sensible for the past five weeks, and you're certainly not a failure!
    Just pick yourself up and brush off today's intake. Don't even enter the food, if it helps. Soldier on and it'll be as if the binge never happened. :)
  • nowornever47
    nowornever47 Posts: 333 Member
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    Ya know what? We are all human and do have those moments! First, congrats for being on here - being honest with yourself and putting it out here to accept the lashings! LOL :smile: Ok, so today is a new day. Get off the negative wagon and step back up to the positive plate! So maybe you didn't have enough calories during the day and you were left to be too hungry at the end of the night... hey - it even sounds like you could even have a pretty good week if you eat clean the rest of the weekend... it takes what like 3500 extra calories over the week to gain a lb, so all may not be lost!! Good luck, don't look back - just keep your energy moving in the right direction...
  • janeinspain
    janeinspain Posts: 173 Member
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    You are not. I will not write how it happened for me, because I feel ashamed and it would sound like therapy-material. I had 2 episodes in 3 months, the second one lasting for the last 2 days.
    You only had one for an evening. Personal experience: forgive yourself and erase. Don't blame yourself and continue the second day too, as I did. I packed up thousands of calories, not a mere 800 like yours. So, tomorrow is another day, you did not undo anything!
  • TwinMumCork
    TwinMumCork Posts: 125 Member
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    Of course you are not the only one, the worst part for me when I go off the rails is that it last 2 or 3 days.

    Take the way your stomach feels today and use it to make you eat less. There is nothing like the yucky feeling of being too full to help get you back on track. Take a walk in the fresh air if you can and drink loads of water to wash out those extra calories and you'll see it will all be gone in two days.

    Just posting here means you want to do this, good on you. :flowerforyou:
  • GretchenReine
    GretchenReine Posts: 1,427 Member
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    So I just had my first binge moment since I've been dieting. Its been about 5 weeks and I've been so sensible and proud of myself. I've lost 5 kilos and already look and feel different. Until tonight. Enter chicken lasagna. I don't know what made me think eating two large pieces of it would make me feel better than losing weight, but one bite, and I couldn't stop. I actually cried while eating the second piece, just sitting there *chew* *swallow* *sob* *sniffle* :sad: and repeat. I don't know if I looked or felt more pathetic. As usual that evil little "oh, you've really done it now, may as well enjoy yourself" voice kicked in and I slowly started undoing a month and a halfs hard work. A bag of jelly snakes. A packet of potato chips. An extra 800 calories of totally unnecessary comfort food now sitting like lead in the bottom of my stomach.

    I feel awful. I lost control. I feel like a failure with no discipline. :cry: I thought I could beat this, but tonight, it beat me. Has anyone else been here? It's so hard because at the time I can think of a million excuses as to why its ok that are so frighteningly unjustified when the deed is done... "you earned it today! reward yourself"..."just start over tomorrow.. you know you don't have the willpower today"..."hey, whats the point, you can deal with being a little chubby can't you? does it bother you that much?"

    But it does. Apparently not when a giant, creamy, cheesy chicken lasagna is staring me in the face. I know I can pick myself up again, I just need encouragement. Surely I'm not the only one. I hope someone can relate to this and I can wake up and start a fresh tomorrow.

    I so needed to read this post this morning because this was me yesterday. I'm down 33 pounds and was already 2 1/2 down this week...and everything I've done this week was undone yesterday. I refuse to call it quits. I've been crying all morning because the scale was evil and made me feel bad...but I did it to myself. I'm not chubby by any means...I'm actually the one that makes fat people look chubby. I can't do this any more. I need to start over this morning and kick some butt! You can do this. WE can do this!
  • Mirelurk44
    Mirelurk44 Posts: 4
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    Thanks everyone... I guess its just scary to think even after 5 weeks of being so sensible I could lose control at the drop of a hat.
    Usually its so easy to think to myself "go easy, you've worked hard so far, don't make it for nothing".. where did that attitude go tonight?? its like I was someone else. But in the end I know I will learn from this and remember how terrible I felt and won't be decieved by those silly little persuasive voices in my head. Next time, I plan on telling them to SHUT, UP.
  • kir911
    kir911 Posts: 228 Member
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    ok so the biggest lesson to learn from this experience is the feeling you have right now....that it was unnecessary eating and not a good choice. BUT...you have not undone everything you have been doing, you are not alone, that is why all os us are here...for support. Was it a bad choice at the moment...yes...but, can you make a different choice next time....YES! and my bet is you will! You can start over tomorrow, and you will, you are not gonna quit and settle for being a little chubby when that is not what you want. You need to refocus on what you want, and run for it! We all have our weak moments, hopefully the next one will be a little less severe. I have never been a big binger, but, I do justify grabbing that candy bar or sweet treat that is sitting on the table and work and try to justify it away. I do allow myself little treats every now and then so I won't go crazy, but, I stear clear of the real disastrous items...lol You will be ok...your human!
  • ShelleyD81
    ShelleyD81 Posts: 237 Member
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    I went there with a chilli cheese burger last weekend, I know I shouldn't have had but all those little voices that were in your head also have a timeshare in my brain too!
    I felt really down the next day but I got straight back on the path.
    Everybody has days like this, we are only human, just don't look back and keep moving forward.
    Well done on your weight loss so far! :flowerforyou:
  • Mirelurk44
    Mirelurk44 Posts: 4
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    Thanks everyone... It makes me feel that much better knowing this is something that other people go through
  • poorcopies
    poorcopies Posts: 477 Member
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    As someone who's been living with B.E.D for years, I feel your pain. I've resigned myself to the fact that urge may never go away completely, but it's how you handle it that's key. Stuff like not beating yourself up about it, as you'll be more likely to turn an isolated incident into a week long marathon. Trying to master your trigger emotions / things, so you can distract yourself if you feel a binge coming on. Trying to gain control during a binge, so you can stop before you do too much damage. I still have episodes, but I don't give up trying to go on with it and I don't feel the guilt and shame about it as much as I once did.

    I had therapy to help me with mine and I can recommend the book my therapist told me to get, Overcoming Binge Eating by Christopher Fairburn. It might not help you but it may give you a better understanding on the emotional element of triggering.

    Good luck :)
  • Mirelurk44
    Mirelurk44 Posts: 4
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    So I just had my first binge moment since I've been dieting. Its been about 5 weeks and I've been so sensible and proud of myself. I've lost 5 kilos and already look and feel different. Until tonight. Enter chicken lasagna. I don't know what made me think eating two large pieces of it would make me feel better than losing weight, but one bite, and I couldn't stop. I actually cried while eating the second piece, just sitting there *chew* *swallow* *sob* *sniffle* :sad: and repeat. I don't know if I looked or felt more pathetic. As usual that evil little "oh, you've really done it now, may as well enjoy yourself" voice kicked in and I slowly started undoing a month and a halfs hard work. A bag of jelly snakes. A packet of potato chips. An extra 800 calories of totally unnecessary comfort food now sitting like lead in the bottom of my stomach.

    I feel awful. I lost control. I feel like a failure with no discipline. :cry: I thought I could beat this, but tonight, it beat me. Has anyone else been here? It's so hard because at the time I can think of a million excuses as to why its ok that are so frighteningly unjustified when the deed is done... "you earned it today! reward yourself"..."just start over tomorrow.. you know you don't have the willpower today"..."hey, whats the point, you can deal with being a little chubby can't you? does it bother you that much?"

    But it does. Apparently not when a giant, creamy, cheesy chicken lasagna is staring me in the face. I know I can pick myself up again, I just need encouragement. Surely I'm not the only one. I hope someone can relate to this and I can wake up and start a fresh tomorrow.

    I so needed to read this post this morning because this was me yesterday. I'm down 33 pounds and was already 2 1/2 down this week...and everything I've done this week was undone yesterday. I refuse to call it quits. I've been crying all morning because the scale was evil and made me feel bad...but I did it to myself. I'm not chubby by any means...I'm actually the one that makes fat people look chubby. I can't do this any more. I need to start over this morning and kick some butt! You can do this. WE can do this!

    I was never huge either, I started at 70kg (154lb) which for my height is pretty reasonable, but its still the biggest I've ever been and I'm definitely feeling it.. I got caught in the binge cycle and it got crazy, every day I started my diet was like "no rush, I'll eat whatever I want today so I don't crave it, then I'll start tomorrow"... its extra disappointing cos I really thought i was past that pattern.. should have known..

    if I can get to 60kg I'll be happy, but I want to be 55kg like when I was at my fittest.. I'm sure I'll get there but I'm going to have to work extra hard.. Don't feel bad for your binge though, I know exactly what you mean when you say you spent all morning crying, I'm still sobbing like a baby! I guess we just have to never forget this feeling and it will turn out to be a positive because we won't ever want to be in this place again.

    So we hit rock bottom... but the only way is up! :)
  • SueGeer
    SueGeer Posts: 1,169 Member
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    We've all been there. It's called being human! Try not to beat yourself up about it....it was only one day......and sometimes a binge can kickstart weight loss. Just remember how bad you feel and bear that feeling in mind next time the munchies come a-calling :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

    Sue :smile: x
  • janeinspain
    janeinspain Posts: 173 Member
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    We have similar stories, so if you want, add me.
  • JenniferH007
    JenniferH007 Posts: 76
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    don't beat yourself over something like that eating like that every one in a while is ok just not all the time you are ok your doing great just pick yourself right back up put that postive face on and do your work out and you will be fine. it not going to to kill everything you have work for have faith in your self just don't do it all the time .
    your friend
  • babybellyfat
    babybellyfat Posts: 1,102 Member
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    Aww dont worry sweetie. It hapens to me all the time. Im greek so grandma ALWAYS trys to feed me. I slip so many times but you know what we can WORKOUT it at the gym. You can cheat 1 day its the law. 1 day is a cheat day so dont worry about it. xox
  • LorinaLynn
    LorinaLynn Posts: 13,247 Member
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    Thanks everyone... I guess its just scary to think even after 5 weeks of being so sensible I could lose control at the drop of a hat.

    You're looking at this entirely the wrong way. This is reason to celebrate, not to feel bad. In five weeks, you slipped up only ONCE!

    A once every 5 weeks binge is NEVER going to have any lasting impact on your goals.

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