I still feel like the fat person I used to be?

BeautyFromPain
BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
Hey,
so since April I have lost 14.5kg/32lbs ...

Every time I see myself I still see the same fat person, I can't see the changes. I have gone down sizes, have everyone commenting on it and seen differences in photos but when it comes to it I still heard towards the plus size stores, I still think I am fat.

Does anyone else feel like this? Any tips to overcome?

Replies

  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    ah at first i thought WoW then say your age.. dont want to throw the age card... but your journey of adult life has only really just began. So the sooner you get your self confidence up the better... your first step has being asking this question. hopefully soon you will relise how beautiful you are.
  • snookumss
    snookumss Posts: 1,451 Member
    We will always be the most critical of ourselves :D You just need to keep giving yourself that positive reinforcement! When that secret voice in the back of your head criticizes you, argue back! Tell it how good you've done! How much you've lost. Make that a personal debate. Eventually if you keep arguing back, your new mindset will start to show through. I have a horrible time reminding myself that there really have been so many changes and I am not obese anymore...I am still big... try telling yourself you aren't fat anymore... more often :D
  • KittMahan
    KittMahan Posts: 106
    I hear you there. At the least you need a trusted friend to talk to you about this, one who can tell you the truth without beating you up.

    Better would be a therapist.

    The issue is inside your mind, not in your diet and fat distribution. Learning how to see your own physical and spiritual health and beauty is a learned skill for most of us here on My Fitness Pal, not a born one. It takes a great deal of help to get there. I know, I'm still working on that, after losing 70 pounds and being right in the middle of my healthy BMI.

    Good luck, be strong, be beautiful. You are.
  • clarech82
    clarech82 Posts: 244 Member
    Hi I'm sorry I can't be more help but I've gone from 205lb-152 and still feel the same when I buy smaller clothes part of me expects the person behind the counter to tell me I'm to big for them. It's so weird.

    All I can say is I hope my brain catches up sometime soon. Your not the only one feeling this way
  • mdbs2004
    mdbs2004 Posts: 220 Member
    I know exactly what you’re talking about. I've lost about 90lb and still think I'm huge. Only 2 weeks ago did I buy new clothes? People comment on my loss all the time, but I’ve been so big for so long that I can’t get over who I was. I'm just as subconscious about my weight today as I was 8 months ago when I started. I wonder if I'll see the new me when I hit my goals :(
  • SergeantSunshine_reused
    SergeantSunshine_reused Posts: 5,382 Member
    I feel the exact same way! I feel like a big fat mess somedays. We are so hard on ourselves.

    What has helped me is something my boyfriend said "I love when you show confidence, its very sexy" So now im going with that xD I act like im really confident at least :D Eventually ill feel it xD
  • daveytrouble
    daveytrouble Posts: 24
    Updating your self imagine is definitely its own thing. Takes time. The new you will be someone you know well soon
  • reinventingandrea
    reinventingandrea Posts: 323
    I'm going through the same thing! I hate seeing myself in the mirror because I just see myself as the "fat girl". Occasionally I will see some changes though. I don't know what to solve it but I don't want to always have a bad self image of my body.
  • 2276claudia
    2276claudia Posts: 8
    It take time dont worry, please keep doing soon you will se the diference just be patient,I lose 3pounds and 2 size but I want 2 more size
    and everyday I tell to myself I can doit no body is goint to do it for me Im strong.
  • yankeegurl
    yankeegurl Posts: 20
    I have the same thing going on too. I have lost about 45lbs. altogether but still see that "fat person" that I used to be. I think more than anything, it's a mentality. I think our brains need time to catch up w/our bodies when it comes to weight loss. Also, Idk about you, but I still have some extra skin from the weight loss & 3 babies so that is a constant reminder of where I started.

    I don't rely on others comments to keep me going but in the times that I am feeling like the person I used to be, I remind myself of how far I've come & the positivity of their words. Celebrate the small accomplishments before you move on to your next goal. So often we move on to another, another, another goal & never pat ourselves on the back for all of the hard work we've already put in.

    Congratulations to you on your success!!
  • rainbowkitty79
    rainbowkitty79 Posts: 94
    I know how you feel!!!

    I lost over 50lbs and went right down to my goal weight. But I could not see the "thin girl".

    It's a huge transformation....
    You have done so well, let yourself off the hook and enjoy the moment.
    You deserve it! Congratualtions and well done!
  • pinkposca
    pinkposca Posts: 10 Member
    Hi,

    Well done on the 32lb

    I completely understand this - i am going through this... looking in the mirror and seeing the old fat me !! I dont know how to focus on the new me ! i have lost 74lb since january.
  • ratherbeskiing
    ratherbeskiing Posts: 847 Member
    I posted a topic about this not to long ago. I still feel like I did when I was my heaviest. What I have been doing lately when I feel like that is think of all the things that have changed: I sleep less, I can run a 10k, I have more energy and have cut out energy drinks, I am more aware when going out... yadda yadda.

    So far it is kinda working but I still feel bigger then I am.
    -Hilary
  • lolainlondon
    lolainlondon Posts: 160 Member
    I think part of it is just accepting that you might not always see it. Sometimes I look in the mirror and really see a difference (for instance today I am wearing a skirt and can see that my legs are no longer touching below my mid-thigh hem line), and sometimes I think I look absolutely no different. But just keep hold of knowing how far you've come (the scale or the tape) and believe other people when they tell you they see it, because they are far more objective than you can be. Good luck with it - I've read elsewhere that you have had disordered eating; don't let the fact that you can't see it convince you that you have more to lose than you do. You're doing well!
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    I feel the exact same way! I feel like a big fat mess somedays. We are so hard on ourselves.

    What has helped me is something my boyfriend said "I love when you show confidence, its very sexy" So now im going with that xD I act like im really confident at least :D Eventually ill feel it xD

    thats it my friend.... my partner is the same and we love them dont we? so we should believe what they have to say....
  • sgtlittle
    sgtlittle Posts: 258 Member
    It's unfortunate that our society gives people a false sense of what is pretty with all the models we see on TV and in magazine ads. Self image is one of the hardest things to overcome, especially when we are reminded everyday that we don't look like the "perfect" people in advertisements. Truth is, a lot of the models you see in the ads are very unhealthy. These "pretty" people starve themselves, gag, and what ever else to ensure they stay skinny for their glamorous career. To me, being healthy is much more important than looking like the false models we see, and coming to terms with that is not an easy feat. Over the past year I started eating healthier, changed my workouts around frequently, kept telling myself daily that I look good and to keep up the good work. I admit that I struggled and lost motivation because I was not seeing results fast enough and noticed myself getting involved in emotional eating. This may seem a bit crazy, but I think it works. While you are at home take off all your clothes, yes completely naked, and spend as much time as you can like that. You will get used to seeing yourself completely exposed and will eventually see the beauty of your body. Once you begin seeing your beauty as God has made you, then you will begin to feel more sexy and consequently build your confidence. If you have a boyfriend or husband I am sure they won't mind and will most likely complement you. I have done this and continue to do often, especially when I am feeling ugly. What I have learned is our clothes teach us that we are ugly underneath and will never be "pretty" unless we look malnurished and sickly skinny.
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    It's unfortunate that our society gives people a false sense of what is pretty with all the models we see on TV and in magazine ads. Self image is one of the hardest things to overcome, especially when we are reminded everyday that we don't look like the "perfect" people in advertisements. Truth is, a lot of the models you see in the ads are very unhealthy. These "pretty" people starve themselves, gag, and what ever else to ensure they stay skinny for their glamorous career. To me, being healthy is much more important than looking like the false models we see, and coming to terms with that is not an easy feat. Over the past year I started eating healthier, changed my workouts around frequently, kept telling myself daily that I look good and to keep up the good work. I admit that I struggled and lost motivation because I was not seeing results fast enough and noticed myself getting involved in emotional eating. This may seem a bit crazy, but I think it works. While you are at home take off all your clothes, yes completely naked, and spend as much time as you can like that. You will get used to seeing yourself completely exposed and will eventually see the beauty of your body. Once you begin seeing your beauty as God has made you, then you will begin to feel more sexy and consequently build your confidence. If you have a boyfriend or husband I am sure they won't mind and will most likely complement you. I have done this and continue to do often, especially when I am feeling ugly. What I have learned is our clothes teach us that we are ugly underneath and will never be "pretty" unless we look malnurished and sickly skinny.

    And women under estimate men so often.... you guys are really not that hard to please.... yes you are all easily visually pleased but most of you need more then that... its us that makes it hard for you guys.
  • sirabe
    sirabe Posts: 294 Member
    I thought I was the only one with this problem. My mom tells me that I have a eating disorder if I see myself this way, but I don't I eat.

    I think it takes sometime for your brain to catch up. Sometimes I find it helps to look at old pictures of myself next to current pictures of myself. The camera doesn't lie. I mean, it let me know that I was way bigger than my mind originally thought.
  • ArroganceInStep
    ArroganceInStep Posts: 6,239 Member
    Yes, take pictures and compare. You'll see it then. Seeing the gradual is hard though.
  • sgtlittle
    sgtlittle Posts: 258 Member
    [
    And women under estimate men so often.... you guys are really not that hard to please.... yes you are all easily visually pleased but most of you need more then that... its us that makes it hard for you guys.

    No, we are not that hard to please and most men don't expect, or want, women to look like they have an eating disorder. It all goes back to the image that society has portrayed on us and the food industry prey's on our emotions too. We are not satisfied with ourselves, and to make up for it we satisfy our tongues with unhealthy food.

    We all have flaws, body imperfections, and things we don't want others to see or know, but having those things is what makes us unique and beautiful. We, as a small community, must support each other and help ourselves and friends to realize that we are beautiful.

    Also, I notice that women constantly "size" each other up in every aspect, which leads to further disappointment if you don't have or look the same as others. Remember, it's accepting you for who you are and knowing that others love you for your uniqueness and personality.
  • WilliamD80
    WilliamD80 Posts: 26 Member
    I have read about this online somewhere. Many overweight people still view themselves as an "overweight" image even with a large amount of weight loss is obtained. I am just getting to the point I feel comfortable in my own skin. I agree that you need to talk with a friend if it is really bothering you or talk to us. It's not just you I promise you that !
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
    [
    And women under estimate men so often.... you guys are really not that hard to please.... yes you are all easily visually pleased but most of you need more then that... its us that makes it hard for you guys.

    No, we are not that hard to please and most men don't expect, or want, women to look like they have an eating disorder. It all goes back to the image that society has portrayed on us and the food industry prey's on our emotions too. We are not satisfied with ourselves, and to make up for it we satisfy our tongues with unhealthy food.

    We all have flaws, body imperfections, and things we don't want others to see or know, but having those things is what makes us unique and beautiful. We, as a small community, must support each other and help ourselves and friends to realize that we are beautiful.

    Also, I notice that women constantly "size" each other up in every aspect, which leads to further disappointment if you don't have or look the same as others. Remember, it's accepting you for who you are and knowing that others love you for your uniqueness and personality.


    arh so true and most people do love people for there indvidualisim... its the indivisual that has the problem beleiving. well im talking the evolved people anyhow... let the young ones go hunting for what ever they think they want. something you said about food disorder most men i know prefer the curve.. but all still look at the skinny with fake boobs... its a visual thing.,... wierd
  • reinventingandrea
    reinventingandrea Posts: 323
    I thought I was the only one with this problem. My mom tells me that I have a eating disorder if I see myself this way, but I don't I eat.

    I think it takes sometime for your brain to catch up. Sometimes I find it helps to look at old pictures of myself next to current pictures of myself. The camera doesn't lie. I mean, it let me know that I was way bigger than my mind originally thought.

    Amen on the pictures! I can see a difference in the pictures but when I look in the mirror, there's the fat girl.
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