Really I dont like this ME!

I could have written this myself! I literally am going through the EXACT same thing. For the past 3 1/2 months, I was unstoppable. Not losing very quickly, BUT I was steadily seeing a downward trend and I NEVER even wanted to cheat. My eye was certainly on the prize. I felt strong and empowered. I never made excuses. Fast forward until now (and about the past week) .... I gained a couple lbs which has shot my motivation and I don't seem to know how to get back on the wagon. I know that IF I get back on now, I'll be ok...BUT I can't make myself do it. I am scared and keep psyching myself out. AHHH I had such an emotional detachment from food before... I ate to fuel my body and that was that. NOW I am rationalizing bad decisions and having to do crazy things like dump soap on food before I go and finish it because my willpower is shot. I don't have any good advice but I do know that you're not alone.

I too am at this point...just think of how far you've come already and the results you see and feel....its motivation to keep on going. Everyone has a crappy day or 2 once in a while. I try to think of if I "screw up" that I can change the rest of the day on what I eat....don't have to blow the whole day because I screwed one "meal" up. Hope this makes sense...lol Good luck, it's a struggle but I am learning it's well worth it! I love seeing results!

First off stop HATING you. You can love a person with all your heart, but not APPROVE of what they do for a living. Same has to be with you. Like yourself, just change the habits you disapprove of. Disliking yourself is one of the main reasons people fall into failure at most things they try to attempt. So do I what tell my clients to do. Post a sticky up on your bathroom mirror, your fridge, and your car visor saying "I LIKE MYSELF UNCONDITIONALLY!" and say it outloud to yourself once a day. Trust me it will change the way your confidence will grow and with confidence you change other things in your life.

You're in a plateau. I've hit it. And three months is about the time. The way to get out of the plateau is to increase food while not increasing calories (IE - eat a few more greens, spinach, etc,) so you feel full all the time without wrecking your calorie count, and do a few more exercise sessions a week. I find three extra sessions kick start me again and I start seeing more results again. Maybe go up a level on your weights for strength training. Your body adjusts to your changes after 21 days. Another thing that might help is if you've had at least three weeks of strict calorie control and exercise, take a day where you have some junk food and don't exercise. Remember to be good to yourself.
Also, bear in mind that muscle weighs much more than fat. Even if you aren't losing pounds, you might be losing fat, but gaining muscle. Take a measurement with a tape measure. And most importantly, don't get discouraged if you plateau, just keep being good to your body.

Make a list of why you DESERVE to be fitter and healthier. You may find you realise that you respect yourself much more than you think you do. When you are starting to realise that you have worked so hard to be where you are and that sticking to it can't possibly be as hard as it was to get started maybe you will feel that you would rather stick it out now than have to go through the misery of starting over at a later date,
You deserve this, you have worked so hard. Give yourself the credit you deserve and get your body moving, you know you will feel better if you do. If you really can't help the 'cheats' figure out how much exercise you would need to do to work it off and choose wisely. I believe in you, you have come so far already. You inspire people like me who are just starting out.