Difference between men and women

Jonty007
Jonty007 Posts: 2
edited October 4 in Introduce Yourself
I'm a man and I'm trying to lose weight !! There - I've said it. It almost feels like I've just joined my local AA branch!

Why are women so open and self-critical about gaining weight and trying to lose pounds whilst most men are in denial or feeling guilty that they're tackling their weight??

Summary of conversation last night when my wife and I met another couple - who are very old and dear friends:

My wife (mw) to friends's wife (fw); "You look lovely - that dress is fantastic"

fw; "Thanks - I've had it for years but not been able to wear it for 12 months because I was so fat! It's still a bit of a squeeze but I'm trying to convince myself that my fitness and diet regime is working!"

mw; "Well it definitely is you look great - you don't need to lose any more...."

fw; " Thanks very much! I'm still about 5 or 6lbs from where I'd like to be - but I've managed to lose half a stone so I'm quite pleased with myself" ........ followed by a five minute detailed discussion about exactly what she was and wasn't eating and what her exercise regime was.....

... this was closely followed by a dialogue between me and my her husband - who is a very close friend (vcf)

vcf; "You look like you you've lost a bit of weight as well mate"

me; "yeh - a bit."

vcf; " What have you been doing"

me; "Just trying to be a bit careful about what I'm eating and getting down to the gym a bit...."

vcf; "Uh - that's good"

me......did you see the football ..................

Given that I'm using mfp with rigour and working my proverbial off in the gym - and have lost almost double what fw has over less than half the time, why didn't I elicit and get proportionate praise ??

I dont know the answer - but I've seen the same or similar situations over many years. Women openly admitting their discomfort with their weight and celebrating their success when they tackle the issue, and men denying that they're unhappy ( even feigning pride - as in "it's all paid for - I needed a bit more ballast" ), and playing down any attempts to address the issue.

Is this just another manifestation of the "men are from mars, women are from venus" syndrome???

I'll just carry all working my whatsits off almost in secret and pretending I'm not that bothered - it's what we cavemen do!!!

Replies

  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 862 Member
    Or step out of that stereotype and be proud of your effort. If you feel uncomfortable commenting about your size, then stamina and muscle can be the topic.


    - Has listened to too many male coworkers discuss their looks and gymhabits to belive the "men dont think about their looks" crap
  • cobracars
    cobracars Posts: 949 Member
    You may have lost double the weight that the friends wife did, but she had to work twice as hard to do it. Maybe that's why you don't get as much credit for it.

    Constantly frustrates my wife that I can drop 10 pounds to her 5. Different metabolism between genders.
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
    Why are women so open and self-critical about gaining weight and trying to lose pounds whilst most men are in denial or feeling guilty that they're tackling their weight??
    I also think it's an age thing, Jonty. Middle-aged straight men don't talk about weightloss and clothes.

    Now, middle-aged gay men do especially with their female friends and colleagues :happy: I've been getting a ton of compliments on my success and it's very flattering, but I know I've still a shed-load of weight still to lose to be the size I want to be.

    I also noticed young bucks in the gym complimenting each other about their physique and workout regimes ... which I found curiously strange ... as it almost sounded like they were chatting each other up :laugh:

    Like it or not... FAT is a feminist issue and you will find the split on MFP is 90% / 10% women:men of members who are actively losing weight. The total of membership is probably 70%/30% women:men but the majority of men on MFP appear to be gym bunnies with physiques straight out of the cover of Men's Health. :blushing:
  • iceqieen
    iceqieen Posts: 862 Member
    pff my co workers are straight and different ages. its you who allow yourself to conform to a "norm" ;)
  • shinybonnie
    shinybonnie Posts: 357
    You may not get the same verbal compliments as fw does, but your weight loss is definitely being noticed! (Maybe not by your wife who sees you everyday... : / but other people are certainly noticing!)

    I personally like my men on the caveman side. If I heard a man talking about how fat he looked and how he was trying to lose weight, I'd be laughing at him on the inside.

    "I'll just carry all working my whatsits off almost in secret and pretending I'm not that bothered - it's what we cavemen do!!! "

    That's one of the things that makes men so damn attractive. While all us hens are sitting around clucking, you are getting the job done!
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