Is anyone really ever happy with themselves?

Scoobies87
Scoobies87 Posts: 379
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
I am 6lbs away from my goal, yet I still feel crappy about myself and know that when I get there, I will want to lose more. Granted, I feel better then I did before, but losing my boobs has knocked me down some. I am considering saving up for new boobs.

Anyway, I see large people who state that they are perfectly happy with their bodies and they ooze confidence. Yet I have a friend who can eat whatever she wants and looks stunning who moans about her appearance all the time.

Why is this? Are these people who state that they are happy with themselves just putting on a front? Or is it actually possible to be truly happy with yourself?

I would love to reach my goal and know when enough is enough and accept myself. The last thing I want to do is end up looking like Katie Price.

Replies

  • lilidelafield
    lilidelafield Posts: 14 Member
    Not many people I know are happy with their size or shape. Overweight people want to be thinner, thin people want to be bigger, if we are well endowed we wish we weren't and if we are not we wish we were.. When I was fifteen I thought I was fat ( didn't we all!) and I was convinced I needed to lose weight. I look back now on a photo taken of me then and I was like a beanpole. I think the only way forward is to let an honest friend tell you the truth....and then take their word for it!
  • moushtie
    moushtie Posts: 371 Member
    I think you'll find the large people who say they are perfectly happy probably don't judge themselves the same way you do. They have learned to accept themselves as they are, and be happy. Maybe this is something you could learn to do too? It sounds like you're trying to attain the perfection you see in advertising.... and even the models don't look as good as they do on tv.

    Of course, some may be putting up a front, but I doubt all of them are.
  • queenpushycat
    queenpushycat Posts: 762 Member
    oh.. no.. :P Every time I walk out of my house to go gym or work or school, skinny *****es everywhere and I got pissed. :P
  • DivaRenae
    DivaRenae Posts: 55
    Every human on Earth wished they looked better in some way shape, form, or fashion, I think its built in us to compare ourselves to others, dont worry I think everybody does that, I know I do....
  • DivaRenae
    DivaRenae Posts: 55
    LMBO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!@Carolinz
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
    I think you'll find the large people who say they are perfectly happy probably don't judge themselves the same way you do. They have learned to accept themselves as they are, and be happy. Maybe this is something you could learn to do too? It sounds like you're trying to attain the perfection you see in advertising.... and even the models don't look as good as they do on tv.

    Of course, some may be putting up a front, but I doubt all of them are.

    Yeah you are right about that. I constantly compare myself to the women on TV and the glamour models my exes used to drool over. It made me feel so inadequate in comparison.
  • sunkisses
    sunkisses Posts: 2,365 Member
    I'm happy with myself. Truly. It doesn't mean I never see room for improvement and feel that I'm perfect. It means I'm not disappointed in myself for not already having made those improvements.

    I've had many miserable years before I chose to be happy now rather than wait for some arbitrary point in time or standard I had to meet. For me, I'd be minimizing the significance of all the things I've done if I still couldn't be happy with myself after all of that.

    It's a choice. Granted, it's not a quick or easy choice, but in the same way you dedicated yourself to working out your body, you need to work out your inside as well. It's important. Why settle for making those lifestyle-changing habits just for appearance's sake? Why take steps to change your life if it's not actually going to change your life? (rhetorical questions not intended solely for 1 person)
  • BeautyFromPain
    BeautyFromPain Posts: 4,952 Member
    I used to absolutely hate how I looked, now I am trying to embrace it. Actually starting to love the way I look, I have a long way to goal - but I am proud.
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
    I think it is possible for us to be truly happy with ourselves. I find that people who are the happiest are those who focus on other things besides just their appearance. They are successful at work or enjoy volunteer work or throw themselves into a great hobby...you get the idea. I'm working on that too.
  • Queen_Christine
    Queen_Christine Posts: 342 Member
    Yes. But usually in hindsight!
  • basschick
    basschick Posts: 3,502 Member
    I don't compare myself to models -- most of them have to starve themselves to look that way and the ones you see in print are photoshopped and airbrushed. No, I see plenty of real women on the street that look better than I do and it has nothing to do with size. I've met my goal weight and have gotten pretty thin. I don't wish I were thinner, but better proportioned. I see women that are much heavier than I am that carry their weight well and have it evenly distributed over their whole body. Many of them have big boobs, big curvy hips, and a flat stomach. I'm at an ideal weight, but have small boobs, a thick waist and lower belly pooch, super skinny arms and legs, and no hips. Being thin doesn't always mean having a good figure.
  • nsimportant
    nsimportant Posts: 170 Member
    Omg Yes definitively. Every week when I go to the gym and do my workouts I give my 110% and I can see how my body changes and gets stronger.
    I actually only compare my monthly pictures and my workout sheets and damn I love how they progress.
    If I want to look like anyone its what i see in the mirror and I think yep I like what I see.
    I dont how other people feel but in a short amount of time i learned how my body reacts to certain food, exercise and especially when i need to give my body a good rest.
    Bottom line I love how my body reacts to stuff i throw at it how cant I be happy about myself then.
  • Iwillshyne
    Iwillshyne Posts: 245
    The fact that I have lost 17 pounds since June has built my confidence in ways I could never imagine. I am nowhere near my goal but I feel like I'm already there! Enjoy this ride called life girl!
  • Scoobies87
    Scoobies87 Posts: 379
    I think it is possible for us to be truly happy with ourselves. I find that people who are the happiest are those who focus on other things besides just their appearance. They are successful at work or enjoy volunteer work or throw themselves into a great hobby...you get the idea. I'm working on that too.

    Yes I agree. I have graduated from University and I am living back home with my rents in the middle of nowhere (very difficult to see my friends now) and I have no job (which I am working on!) Also split from the bf so it's safe to say I have a lot of time on my hands!! Health and fitness and my appearance are now my motivation. The trouble is with nothing else going on it is easy to get fixated with.
  • sandislim
    sandislim Posts: 264
    I think you'll find the large people who say they are perfectly happy probably don't judge themselves the same way you do. They have learned to accept themselves as they are, and be happy. Maybe this is something you could learn to do too? It sounds like you're trying to attain the perfection you see in advertising.... and even the models don't look as good as they do on tv.

    Of course, some may be putting up a front, but I doubt all of them are.

    Yeah you are right about that. I constantly compare myself to the women on TV and the glamour models my exes used to drool over. It made me feel so inadequate in comparison.

    This is why I don't watch tv. I feel a lot happier with myself now I don't. I won't ever be perfect - but neither are those people on tv, they are caked with makeup wear body stockings for body shots and use body doubles.
  • SarabellPlus3
    SarabellPlus3 Posts: 496 Member
    I think it is possible for us to be truly happy with ourselves. I find that people who are the happiest are those who focus on other things besides just their appearance. They are successful at work or enjoy volunteer work or throw themselves into a great hobby...you get the idea. I'm working on that too.
    I agree with that! Im not saying that I wouldn't magically make my body look more like, say Christina hendricks', true, but I feel good about myself. I think it is because I just don't put AS much concern into my physical appearance as I used to. I feel good about who I am, and though I feel pretty good about my body/looks, I just feel like that's a pretty small part of "who I am."
  • kalexander2005
    kalexander2005 Posts: 223 Member
    IMHO, what you are talking about is not true happiness, but contentment. Can a person be content with their body? The answer is a resounding YES! However, to become content is a choice and an exercise we do just like exercising the body. You must CHOOSE to be content with the way things are. Even if you plan to make changes, or are in the process of making changes, contentment is crucial because it says, "I can be happy even if nothing changes." As far as the droopy boobs goes, I recommend getting on bodybuilding.com and learning some new weight bearing exercises to help firm up your chest. And remember, STRONG GIRLS STAY SLIM.

    All the best!!
  • Xtina_Beba
    Xtina_Beba Posts: 218
    I think it is possible for us to be truly happy with ourselves. I find that people who are the happiest are those who focus on other things besides just their appearance. They are successful at work or enjoy volunteer work or throw themselves into a great hobby...you get the idea. I'm working on that too.


    I totally agree and feel the same way about myself. I am truly happy with myself and it's not wrong for me to want to improve my health and assets.
  • Molly_Louise
    Molly_Louise Posts: 503
    I know that whatever my weight is, I'll never be happy with myself.
  • LuckyLeprechaun
    LuckyLeprechaun Posts: 6,296 Member
    I am finally happy with my physical self. It's been a three year plus transition, but it can be done.

    It's astounding to realize how much mental energy I used up on thoughts such as, "I hate the way I look" "I feel so fat right now" I'm so uncomfortable" "How does this outfit look?" "That person looks better than I do" The comparisons to other women were endless.

    I've always been pretty happy about myself as a person, but I used to be consumed with feelings of inadequacy regarding my physical appearance. So even though I knew I was a good person, I always felt bad about myself. That led to depression, and emotional eating. See: vicious cycle. Once I found MFP, it gave me the tool I needed to break the cycle.

    Now I've come so far and almost reached my goal, and I can honestly say that it is possible to change and come to a place where you like yourself. For me, it started in a place of liking myself one the inside. Then when my outsides caught up, now I like my whole self.

    You're worth the effort this will take.
  • Tiggerrick
    Tiggerrick Posts: 1,078 Member
    I believe that life, and the way you feel about yourself, is a series of ebbs and flows. You will have 'down' days and 'up' days. Without points of comparison how would you ever know happy from unhappy.

    Why do you make the conscious decision to change your weight? Is it for health? For looks? Some societies associated being fat with wealth and beauty. Why do women wear makeup? Why do people dress up? Why wear cologne? There are so many things we do to be attractive to the opposite sex, but ultimately to be attractive to ourselves.

    I am happy with myself. I like me. I am not perfect. I am not trying to reach perfection. I am definitively trying to enjoy life. Do I have bad days? Sure, who doesn't; But they pass. Then I have a new experience, meet a previous goal, set a new one, and move on.
  • jbeauchamp1
    jbeauchamp1 Posts: 195 Member
    I lost alot of weight a few years ago and although I was still in a size 14 I can honestly say I was very happy with myself. I believe everyone in the world has something they do not like about themselves physically....so you are not alone. I really contribute my happiness to not allowing myself to compare myself to others or those on TV. Above that though it was the people I associated with and dated. You really need to find that inner confidence and use it. When you are confident about yourself you would be very surprised at how much people will naturally flock to you no matter what size you are. Lastly please DON"T compare yourselt to your exes fantasies because you will constantly never feel good enough. Make sure your man's focus is only on you! Be proud of yourself and love who you are right now!
  • rhodes2b
    rhodes2b Posts: 304 Member
    I am far from perfect, but I rock! I am normally pretty happy with myself . My happiness comes from within me and isn't based on my looks or weight. I am happy with me because of the footprint I will leave behind when I leave this world. This is way too deep for this site, but at least it is a honest answer.
  • Aesop101
    Aesop101 Posts: 758 Member
    The problem is we often chase unobtainable goals. Yet there is always room for improvement. It's like learning, we always continue learning.
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