The shameful truth

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I'm currently writing this with complete disgust in myself. I came onto MFP in March of this year with some motivation to lose weight(obviously haha). What I found was even better than I would've thought. I really got into counting calories and working out. I had so much motivation I didn't know what to do with it! I would be at the gym anywhere from 5-7 days per week. Of course I had some off days, but I lost 25 lbs in 3 months. I was ecstatic. I felt great. I was beginning to be more comfortable in my body (even though I still had about 15 lbs to go). My mini goal for that time was to hit 175 by the time I went on my long-awaited trip to Las Vegas, where I would spend 4 days rewarding myself with all the food and drink I wanted. I managed to hit 172, and I had a great time in Vegas.

Problem is......I never got back on the wagon. Truthfully, since my Vegas trip (June), I have been on and off my diet, but mostly off. I've pretty much given up. I don't know where my motivation went. Thinking about working out now seems like the worst thing EVER, and I used to love it! I've gained back about 6 lbs, and I am so unhappy about it. I feel fatter and worse about myself than I ever have before. I know it's long past time to kick my *kitten* into gear, but I just feel like i'm in a rut. Where did my old attitude go? Why can't I just.....get it back? Why isn't it easy anymore?

I mostly wrote this just for therapeutic/journaling reasons, but I would love any feedback. Personal stories, advice, even some yelling! Haha.

Replies

  • JRhinoC
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    Why isn't it easy anymore?

    Because you stopped.
    Why can't I just.....get it back?

    Who says you can't?
    Where did my old attitude go?

    You let it die.


    Yes, it's really that simple.

    When you exercise your body releases Endorphins, Endorphins make you feel good, your body likes Endorphins. Once it remembers that Endorphins are released during exercise, it will like exercise again.

    http://kcossaboon.hubpages.com/hub/ExerciseandTheEndorphinRush
  • psmd
    psmd Posts: 764 Member
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    Motivation is so hard to have sometimes. I know what you mean, sometimes either you have it or you don't. I try to take advantage when I do. Sometimes I will just try to fake it until it comes back.
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
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    I'm currently writing this with complete disgust in myself. I came onto MFP in March of this year with some motivation to lose weight(obviously haha). What I found was even better than I would've thought. I really got into counting calories and working out. I had so much motivation I didn't know what to do with it! I would be at the gym anywhere from 5-7 days per week. Of course I had some off days, but I lost 25 lbs in 3 months. I was ecstatic. I felt great. I was beginning to be more comfortable in my body (even though I still had about 15 lbs to go). My mini goal for that time was to hit 175 by the time I went on my long-awaited trip to Las Vegas, where I would spend 4 days rewarding myself with all the food and drink I wanted. I managed to hit 172, and I had a great time in Vegas.

    Problem is......I never got back on the wagon. Truthfully, since my Vegas trip (June), I have been on and off my diet, but mostly off. I've pretty much given up. I don't know where my motivation went. Thinking about working out now seems like the worst thing EVER, and I used to love it! I've gained back about 6 lbs, and I am so unhappy about it. I feel fatter and worse about myself than I ever have before. I know it's long past time to kick my *kitten* into gear, but I just feel like i'm in a rut. Where did my old attitude go? Why can't I just.....get it back? Why isn't it easy anymore?

    I mostly wrote this just for therapeutic/journaling reasons, but I would love any feedback. Personal stories, advice, even some yelling! Haha.

    Welcome to my life, except replace 6lbs with 157lbs. It took a long time to gain it, and a lot of on-off dieting. I thought I was ready earlier this year in May, tried a diet, too restrictive, lost 12lbs, then gained back 17lbs.

    I am in no way over it yet, but I do feel more confident about my journey right now after sticking to it for almost 9 weeks now.

    This time I had to fake it until I make it. The more I workout, the more I want to work out. I remember my goals. One of which is to be in onederland by my 30th birthday next year.

    You need to TAKE it back. Kick your own butt. Maybe start off small by eating at maintenance and not eating exercise cals, or go to .5lbs a week loss. YOU are the only one who can do this for you, and be thankful you aren't me. I'm down 45lbs from my heaviest, but I still have 120lbs to go... talk about daunting.

    Good luck.
  • missjoci
    missjoci Posts: 412 Member
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    I go through this process every other month. "I'm gonna work out today....well, I don't really feel like it. Oh well I'll do it tomorrow." Then I fall off the wagon for a few weeks, then start working out again. The important thing is that you force yourself to go. You'll be glad you did, because the more excuses you make, the harder it'll be to go the next time, and the time after that. Working out and eating healthy can completely suck if you aren't in the mood for it, but as I'm sure you've noticed, you just have to take that step back onto the wagon and kick your butt in gear. Good luck!
  • CassandraD82
    CassandraD82 Posts: 71 Member
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    I think this is pretty common. Most gym memberships expect you to give up around week 8 and stop attending (the really good gyms give you incentives and discounts if you keep up your attendance for the first 12+ weeks).

    All I can say is that let your angst motivate you! Instead of getting ready for bed and thinking "I wasted today - ate badly and did nothing" get down on the carpet and do a few situps.

    Little things but there's no point going to bed feeling miserable.

    Set small goals and build up from there - it's the only way to make long term change. Aim for 1 workout a week, not 5. Aim for 5 days under calorie goal, not 7.

    Expect very little of yourself at the start and then succeed :)