I Don't Know What To DO!!!!

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for starters, I noticed this was asked in other posts, so ill mention them now. I'm 5'6 and weigh about 215ish? last i weighed anyways.

i have NO problem maintaining my weight, i have the hugest (if thats even a word lol) losing it! i have gone down to 200, but it comes right back up. No matter how much or less i eat, im stuck at 215.

I am a stay at home mother, which would sound like its easy to excersize at any moment. but it really isnt, not for me anyways. I work on my computer all day while attending to my 15 month old. All my life i was that skinny scrony kid who look like they didn't eat at all, but once (well ill bluntly say it lol) puberty started, it was down hill from there, i played sports all my life so once that happened, that helped, but i did pack on some lbs but was not overweight, yet, at that time. after i graduated HS, no more sports.. lbs just kept coming.

Before i graduated HS, i went through a misscarriage and had gone through depression. Here i am 4 years later and the weight only kept coming.

i have tried every diet out there, and nothing. I do NOT eat that much.. and i look at calories everytime. im only taking in MAYBE 500-800 cal a day. which is not good obviously. im getting to the point of depression that ive thought about not eating at all.. but i can't bare to look at my sons face while refusing food knowing thats not healthy at all.

I just dont know what to do anymore!!!! is there anyone who can give me somesort of guide or somethign!? excuse the insanely long post!

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  • tasha_m107
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    for starters, I noticed this was asked in other posts, so ill mention them now. I'm 5'6 and weigh about 215ish? last i weighed anyways.

    i have NO problem maintaining my weight, i have the hugest (if thats even a word lol) losing it! i have gone down to 200, but it comes right back up. No matter how much or less i eat, im stuck at 215.

    I am a stay at home mother, which would sound like its easy to excersize at any moment. but it really isnt, not for me anyways. I work on my computer all day while attending to my 15 month old. All my life i was that skinny scrony kid who look like they didn't eat at all, but once (well ill bluntly say it lol) puberty started, it was down hill from there, i played sports all my life so once that happened, that helped, but i did pack on some lbs but was not overweight, yet, at that time. after i graduated HS, no more sports.. lbs just kept coming.

    Before i graduated HS, i went through a misscarriage and had gone through depression. Here i am 4 years later and the weight only kept coming.

    i have tried every diet out there, and nothing. I do NOT eat that much.. and i look at calories everytime. im only taking in MAYBE 500-800 cal a day. which is not good obviously. im getting to the point of depression that ive thought about not eating at all.. but i can't bare to look at my sons face while refusing food knowing thats not healthy at all.

    I just dont know what to do anymore!!!! is there anyone who can give me somesort of guide or somethign!? excuse the insanely long post!
  • MyaPapaya75
    MyaPapaya75 Posts: 3,143 Member
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    Hi first off you have to make time..to excercise even if its before the baby wakes or when the baby is sleeping...secondly you have to eat proper meals and control portions.....you can drop the weight but you have to make the time to excercise....and eat right.......:flowerforyou:
  • mother23ts
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    Are you following the guidlines of the site? I followed the amount of calories and exercise and I have lost 4lbs. You can eat more calorise you just have to stayfocused
  • tasha_m107
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    No i have not followed, i joined back in Jan but my job needed more attention so i didn't have the time to fully work it out. I just saw there was a message board.

    I dont really quite understand the whole calories bit to control portions really lol. i dont really know how to work the site either. it would probably help if i understood it to know what im supposed to be doing and what not.

    atleast i know once (if, when) i lost all this extra weight, i will be able to maintain it LOL... i just need to loose it first!

    i want to TTC at the latest of jan 10, and i need to get this weight off before hand.
  • BrenNew
    BrenNew Posts: 3,420 Member
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    No i have not followed, i joined back in Jan but my job needed more attention so i didn't have the time to fully work it out. I just saw there was a message board.

    I dont really quite understand the whole calories bit to control portions really lol. i dont really know how to work the site either. it would probably help if i understood it to know what im supposed to be doing and what not.

    atleast i know once (if, when) i lost all this extra weight, i will be able to maintain it LOL... i just need to loose it first!

    i want to TTC at the latest of jan 10, and i need to get this weight off before hand.


    I suggest you take the time to check out the help section and learn more about how MFP works.
    I was like you in that I tried just about "everything out there", including hypnosis, TWICE, but nothing worked. But once I came to MFP and started watching my numbers and started getting some exercising in, (dancing to a fast "oldies" CD, and walking) the weight DID start to come off, and I'm sure that it could be that way for you too!
    Between the easy to use food counter (which by the way is SUCH an eye opener!) and all the wonderfully supportive members, you WILL be able to lose the weight that you want to, AND, it'll "almost" be easy doing it!
    I recommend logging ALL your foods BEFORE you have them, rather than later, as it tends to lead to better food choices. (not to mention you'll know if you've got enough numbers left to have a night time snack, like I ALWAYS try to do!) Some people also like to weigh and measure some things, such as meats, rather than just estimating and possibly being WAY off!
    Also, drink lots of water, that seems to help alot too. :drinker:
  • Topaz1962
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    If you're not taking in enough calories your body is resisting weight loss. We're designed that way. By not giving your body enough calories to work with each day you are teaching your metabolism to slow down, to hoard what calories you are taking in, because your body thinks there's a famine.

    I would suggest using the site's calorie counter to 1) give you a target for how many calories you need to consume daily and 2) to have an easy way to keep track of what you are eating.

    Drink the recommended amount of water, and try surge training.

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mIupxbukUgY&feature=channel_page

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ym7d2MzZ96I&feature=channel_page

    I hope that helps!
  • silverharmony
    silverharmony Posts: 11 Member
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    **im only taking in MAYBE 500-800 cal a day. which is not good obviously. **

    Hun, you are in starvation mode. probably have been for a long time. your body stores everything it can as fat so it has a reserve to pull from. Then it pulls from that reserve because it isnt getting enough nutrition. then it stores it again. this isnt maintenance, this is survival.

    i recommend starting with some light strength training. odds are good your metabolism is completely shot and in order to start repairing it, you need to build up some muscle.

    you also need to start eating. a lot from the sounds of it. lots of fresh fruits and vegetables pre-cut in the house can make grabbing something easier with kids around. you should be eating SOMETHING every 2 - 3 hours. you need to tell your body that you WILL give it nutrition when it needs it, and that it DOESNT need to store everything as fat.

    TamTastic figured a lot of things out and made a wonderful post here
    http://www.myfitnesspal.com/topics/show/44693-tami-s-secret-to-skinny

    and i believe SHBoss (?) posted a great one too that i cant find this morning.

    point is, eating too little will put the fat on and keep it on...i have had first hand experience with this. i have been steadily losing weight little by little, then a month ago, i get the flu, 2 weeks ago i get oral surgery, then last week baby gets pneumonia...i lost most of my appetite and havent gained it back yet, so i have been eating about HALF of what i should be...my muscle mass has now gone down (i had it tested at work, we have a fitness center there), my fat has gone up and i started gaining. time to get motivated!!

    ~Harmony
  • AnneElise
    AnneElise Posts: 4,221 Member
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    to be honest with you I think more than anything you need to go see a doctor. Your regular doctor and probably a physicitrist (sp?). My sister went through depression and anerexia and she really need to work with her doctor and she needed to be on anti-depressents and she is now doing much much better. But i saw how it affected her and our family. it really sounds like you could use some help professionally from a doctor- for your sake and for your childrens!
  • naugustyniak
    naugustyniak Posts: 836 Member
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    to be honest with you I think more than anything you need to go see a doctor. Your regular doctor and probably a physicitrist (sp?). My sister went through depression and anerexia and she really need to work with her doctor and she needed to be on anti-depressents and she is now doing much much better. But i saw how it affected her and our family. it really sounds like you could use some help professionally from a doctor- for your sake and for your childrens!

    I agree totally with this. I know you said you really don't have time to exercise fully but it sounds like there may be other things going on also. You also might ask to have blood work done. You could even possibly have a thyroid problem. I exercised and ate right and gained nearly 30 pounds in 3 months and it turns out my thyroid was not working properly. I had that taken care of, am working on getting my meds fine tuned but have lost some and am definitely NOT gaining like crazy.

    You definitely need to eat!!! Since it is getting nicer out, maybe you could put your child in a stroller or wagon and go for a walk. I used to do that with my first one (She's 20 now) and she loved it. It definitely takes some time to change a lifestyle. I know it is hard sitting at a computer all day (I work from home also, medical transcription) but you need to take time out for yourself or you will get really sick both mentally and physically and that is not good for anyone.
  • tasha_m107
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    wow thanks everyone!! esp for the links and what not!

    i actually have gone to a doctor a few months ago.. i know im in some depression becaise of being home 24.7, i get out rarely with a screeming toddler lol im really isolated in this place. but i wanted to get a breast reduction (which i think is also part of my depression).. she tells me have i lost all my baby weight that i had gained, i DID 2 weeks later but half of it came back, she tells me i need to lose that before getting even a referal to the specialist, which doesnt make any sense to me at all and toally ticked me off. probably 30 lbs is in my breast alone LOL. but we dont have many doctors in my town, shes supposed to be the best one out of any of them, but shes irritating. i have actually been on anti-depressants before, and they even made me gain weight.

    i keep telling myself im going to walk the next day, everyday.. but i never get around to it. MAINLY because here, there is no nice weather. it gets to 125 degrees here, in about another month. now its about 100 and i live all around hills.. so knowing that i just dont have the motivation to even get dressed to go out LOL.. i was thinking about buying a bicycle deal? that i know id get on in between my very few breaks from work and my child.

    i really appreciate all the support/help from here!
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
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    There's a cheap walking video by leslie sansone, here you can get it at Costco for $10. I wouldn't invest a lot into anything until it is something that you will do. You can get cheap or free exercise bikes on craigslist or the recycle ads, too.

    First off, you're making excuses for why not, why not, why not. Stop that. That's number 1. Stop making excuses for why you can't and figure out how you CAN. Ok so you can't go to the gym and work out for 3 hours a day... so what.

    Secondly, there is no magic pill or magic wand. Take the time, TAKE the time, and learn about what this site does. It WILL help you. But you have to be at least motivated to learn about it (it's not that hard) and to log your food, and probably measure and weigh it too for awhile.

    In a nutshell, you put in your weight and height and your lifestyle (I would say sedentary for you) and it tells you how many calories you can eat a day. Put in a 1 pound a week weight loss. It will automatically make a calorie deficit so that you eat what it tells you. But you have to measure food (i.e. don't have a bowl of cereal, if a serving size is a cup, then measure out a cup, or 2, if you want two servings, and the milk, and LOG it). If you also exercise, then you get to eat those calories back. If you don't exercise, it's already got the deficit in there.

    Take shortcuts when you can to help you, especially in the begnning. Buy pre-cut up fresh veggies to snack on. Make your lunches the day before or night before or make several at one time. Buy 100 calorie packs of things to have a sweet snack once in a while, if you can control yourself not to eat the whole box at once. Pay ATTENTION to what you're putting in your mouth, always.

    Will it get easier? Oh yes. But get off your butt. Do stretches while sitting at your computer. Put weights on your feet and raise them. Anything. Just get moving.

    Drink lots of water. Log it. At least 8 glasses a day. That does NOT include soda.

    You will feel better in time. Maybe you need antidepressants, maybe not. Maybe you need more vitamin D- those are pretty cheap to get at the store. You can take 5000 IU or even 10000 IU for awhile. Maybe you have other chemical imbalances that are affecting your mood.

    The food you are eating and how you are eating is what's making you feel worse, for the most part. You're full of toxins. You have to flush those out.

    You also need to get out of the house. Join a gym. Join the Y. Take a weekly swimming class or water aerobics.

    I hit 397 at my highest. I started MFP at 273. Yeah, I have a long way to go. But I've learned a LOT and well, I'm just like you, been full of excuses for years. I'm a SAHM with 3 boys, one special needs. Since I've joined MFP I've lost I think 28 pounds (not on my ticker yet!) in a little less than 3 mos.
    I may sound harsh but well, I am you, I have been you. YOU can do it. YOU CAN.
  • tasha_m107
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    oh i dont take you hard at all!! just tell it how it is, and im totally the same way. i totally do make excuses LOL.. and of course i want it to be easy and fast.. but it doesnt work that way. we dont have a Costco so i will have to look into it and find it else where. i have been wanting the bicycle deal for YEARS.. i think if i bought an actual bike and got one of those little trailer seat deals for kids. that on the go tent thing.. i would def go out and do that everyday, i just HATE walking. but ill ride a bike anyday, and that would probably be good with all the hills around. maybe even get just a bike with that toddlers seat that goes on the back.. i havent seen one in a long time so i would have to look into that as well.

    i just totally eat the wrong foods when i do eat. im anemic so i take a lot of vitamins, a lot of vit C for immune system, and i drink a lot of milk.. which is mostly where my calories are coming from lol. whole milk seems to be the only one i can drink bc of the taste.. i HATE water, but i try as much as possible to force myself to drink it anyways. my boyfriend is constantly wanting to eat out (since we dont live with eachother) and its totally kicking my butt. he gets mad when i only want a salad LOL he thinks its a waste of a time to even go out to eat in the first place.

    i have to do something though, and now.. so im really up for whatever right now, just not the walking LOL im going to look into finding a bike and that toddler seat thing. or even just the cycle excersize deal alone. throw my laptop on top of it and cycle while working LOL
  • adopt4
    adopt4 Posts: 970 Member
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    oh i dont take you hard at all!! just tell it how it is, and im totally the same way. i totally do make excuses LOL.. and of course i want it to be easy and fast.. but it doesnt work that way. we dont have a Costco so i will have to look into it and find it else where. i have been wanting the bicycle deal for YEARS.. i think if i bought an actual bike and got one of those little trailer seat deals for kids. that on the go tent thing.. i would def go out and do that everyday, i just HATE walking. but ill ride a bike anyday, and that would probably be good with all the hills around. maybe even get just a bike with that toddlers seat that goes on the back.. i havent seen one in a long time so i would have to look into that as well.

    i just totally eat the wrong foods when i do eat. im anemic so i take a lot of vitamins, a lot of vit C for immune system, and i drink a lot of milk.. which is mostly where my calories are coming from lol. whole milk seems to be the only one i can drink bc of the taste.. i HATE water, but i try as much as possible to force myself to drink it anyways. my boyfriend is constantly wanting to eat out (since we dont live with eachother) and its totally kicking my butt. he gets mad when i only want a salad LOL he thinks its a waste of a time to even go out to eat in the first place.

    i have to do something though, and now.. so im really up for whatever right now, just not the walking LOL im going to look into finding a bike and that toddler seat thing. or even just the cycle excersize deal alone. throw my laptop on top of it and cycle while working LOL

    For milk - add chocolate, the no sugar added will add only 35 cals to your milk and then you can go down to 2% or even 1%. I'm with you on the milk thing, growing up on a dairy farm! But I would put skim milk in my low fat yogurt smoothie... and with fruit it didn't taste bad at all, in fact, it was rich and awesome! I worked my way down to 2% on my cereal, but I don't think I can go lower than that on cereal!

    I hated water too, SO MUCH, and I added Crystal Light or other stuff to it. I mean, it's still water, just has a little flavor. I worked my way to drinking bottled water plain. It was a process, though, and took some time. Someone suggested adding a dash of cranberry juice to water too.

    I'm with you on the bike, I am looking for one of those two seater trailers so I can ride to the gym (1.5 - 2 miles but flat) and then do my weights and then ride home again this summer. You might want to see if you can find a HRM on sale (one with a strap) so you can better keep track of your cals that you use when you do work out, even if it's dancing with your daughter in front of the tv. Take the cals you've burned using the HRM minus what you would have burned doing your normal daily activities and that will give you a good rate of cals burned. I just got one and it turns out the machines at the gym are way off for big people and I was burning way more than it said, and I wasn't eating enough. So that's fixed now for me.

    Check craigslist for a trailer if you have one in your city...