I'm taking my son to a plastic surgeon...

CLC900709
CLC900709 Posts: 49 Member
edited October 4 in Chit-Chat
I'm freaking out right now! my sons pedi is a complete idiot! He's turning 2 next month and has a very mis shaped head. His pedi at first said "well worry about it at 12 months if its not improving". He thought it was just due to how my son slept at night, even though my son never slept in a way that would match up to how his head is shaped. 12 months rolled around and he said it was nothing to worry about until 18-24 months. he went on to say "it isn't even that bad- even if I referred you out, they wouldn't do a thing about it!". So I waited. 18 month appointment came (which was at 20 months) and he again blew it off.

I went home and did some research and learned that after 18 months there.s very little that can be done. I got a second opinion. This new pedi was shocked that the first pedi didn't refer him out to get fitted for one of those helmets a long time ago! Ideally between 6-12 months but no later then 18 months! Long story short, we're now being referred to a surgeon. And I'm. Losing. My. MIND! They can't see us until Jan. 13th of next year! CRAZY! Because the doctor is going on vacation! (LOVELY!)

I feel helpless. I don't know what to expect. What to do, or anything! I went online and researched "Plagiocephaly" because the nurse told me it was a "Plagio clinic" and they only have them 1x/month. and basically it says depending on the severity on the case, if left unattended it can cause other problems. Which I think is why I'm so freaked out! I don't know how sever it is! I had one dr. blow it off, and another in complete shock that nothing was done about it! I just don't understand why they only have clinics 1x/month and why the dr would be going on a 2 month vacation!....I'm going to be so stressed and worried through the holidays.

Has anyone else been through this? We're also waiting to hear back from the speech therapist that we were referred out to. Hopefully she doesnt decide to take vacation too! I'm getting sick of all of the comments from family about how my son wont talk. My BF's grandmother is literally mean about it! saying he's foreign and she *****es at my son because he's "cussing me out. i just know it!" My son is just now starting to really babble and jabber. He doesn't say any real words. And even the babbling is basically just "baba, uhhhh, baaaa nana" all the time! It's just stressful!!!

Replies

  • vim_n_vigor
    vim_n_vigor Posts: 4,089 Member
    My youngest wasn't saying any words yet at 30 months. He did communicate very well through sounds and sign language. He is now 40 months and speaking quite well. The speech therapists he has had are incredible. I wish you luck with yours.
  • cherubcrnp
    cherubcrnp Posts: 717 Member
    Do you live near a Children's Hospital? You may also try to contact the Shriner's Hospital or a local chapter of Shriners.....the Shriners do amazing things for kids. I am sorry that you are going through this.

    Pam
  • Mariposa187
    Mariposa187 Posts: 344 Member
    That doctor was so awful! I am glad you got a second opinion! I will be praying for you situation. And i have a niece that didn't start talking until very late. She had to have speech therapy but now you would never able to guess. I wish you guys the best of luck! Remember to breathe and just take it one day at a time! You are so strong for handling all this so well. It seems tough but you can do it!
  • LaDiablesse
    LaDiablesse Posts: 862 Member
    So sorry that you're going through this. I can't imagine what you're going through. My oldest son is mildly autistic, and he's been having speech therapy since he was 4 years old. He's 10 now. After a year or so in therapy, his communication improved drastically. So sad that your family is so ugly about it. I hope that you get all the help that your son needs. Best of luck to you & your little guy!
  • JennBrown83
    JennBrown83 Posts: 131 Member
    I am childless right now, but looking forward to having children in the near future. Honestly, the first thing I would do is report that S.O.B. of a pedi to the College of Physicians and Surgeons and maybe sue him for malpractice and try and get your expenses covered because without his neglect you're now having to put yourself and son through a lot of BS and stress.

    Secondly, I am so sorry you have to go through this. I don't know how hard this would be but you have my thoughts and prayers during this trying time. Brightest Blessings to you and your family.
  • kpxfiles
    kpxfiles Posts: 56 Member
    Wow I'm sorry that you're going through this. First, off this wasn't your fault. Second, don't listen to what other people say. Just focus on getting your son the treatment and care he needs. It was smart of you to get the second opinion. You need to talk to someone like a counselor or a pastor. They can help you deal with the emotional part of this. It is a traumatic thing that you're going through, but for your sons sake you need to stay focused. Don't get stressed about things you cannot control.

    I would consider this malpractice. You may want to talk to a Lawyer about this.
  • kmbrooks15
    kmbrooks15 Posts: 941 Member
    I'm not one to sue for just any little thing, but you might want to consult a malpractice attorney and see if you have a case. If it's pretty standard procedure to refer children with this problem early and your pedi did nothing, you might have a case for malpractice. It could help at least get you some funds to help with whatever treatment needs to be done to fix this since it wasn't fixed when he was little. Couldn't hurt.

    I hope all goes well. It's awful to watch your kids have to go through surgery or other painful procedures. Just try not to let him see your nervousness...kids pick up on everything, so if you are relaxed (even if you're pretending!), it will help him not be so scared of all the things going on.

    Good luck!
  • LisaWeir74
    LisaWeir74 Posts: 88 Member
    My daughter didn't speak at until she was almost 3.

    We go to speech therapy twice a week....she LOVES it and is making huge progress. It hasn't affected her school work either. She just started kindergarten & is already reading by herself. I am so proud of her.

    I am sorry about the pedi thing. That is crazy.
  • Runner_mick
    Runner_mick Posts: 115 Member
    Not sure on what to say about the plastic surgeon. Never been through anything like that. Good luck, but about the speech. My daughter who is now 4 did not start speaking till 3. I was so stressed about it too cause all the other kids her age her talking and she could only say a few words here and there. And almost overnight around her 3rd birthday she starting saying sentences and now talks just fine. Some children are just late talkers. Don't be too worried.
  • CLC900709
    CLC900709 Posts: 49 Member
    My youngest wasn't saying any words yet at 30 months. He did communicate very well through sounds and sign language. He is now 40 months and speaking quite well. The speech therapists he has had are incredible. I wish you luck with yours.
    My brother (who is 5 now) was born with a biladeral cleft lip and pallet. hes also has trouble with his ears so my parents taught him sign language because they were told he could still lose his hearing, plus he cant talk very well. so i started learning it too, and taught it to my daughter (who is almost 4). ive tried teaching my son but he doesnt want any part of it. he just screams and hits me if i try making him use signs to tell me what he wants. i just get so frustrated with the constant pointing/screaming to communicate. most of the time i dont even know what he wants!
  • Saffyra
    Saffyra Posts: 607 Member
    Wow, you are going through a LOT!! I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, you poor thing.

    As for the not talking yet, my little brother didn't talk until he was nearly 2 and a half. It was basically gooble gabble until then. My mom was so freaked out.
    When he did start talking, it was practically full sentences! (not really but a lot more than what a normal baby starts talking like)

    I cannot believe the stupidity of your first pediatric doctor! How hard would it have been for him/her to just give you a helmet, for petes sake!!?
  • mleoni092708
    mleoni092708 Posts: 629 Member
    I'm so sorry to hear your story. Mommy instincts are always right! I don't have experience with this type of condition-just wanted to wish you and your little one well. Keep us updated.
  • CLC900709
    CLC900709 Posts: 49 Member
    I'm not one to sue for just any little thing, but you might want to consult a malpractice attorney and see if you have a case. If it's pretty standard procedure to refer children with this problem early and your pedi did nothing, you might have a case for malpractice. It could help at least get you some funds to help with whatever treatment needs to be done to fix this since it wasn't fixed when he was little. Couldn't hurt.

    I hope all goes well. It's awful to watch your kids have to go through surgery or other painful procedures. Just try not to let him see your nervousness...kids pick up on everything, so if you are relaxed (even if you're pretending!), it will help him not be so scared of all the things going on.

    Good luck!
    this is what my sister is telling me too. shes been the only one i have been able to confide in that i know in real life. shes just as ticked off as i am, and thinks i should find a lawyer right now. but i think i should wait and see what the surgeon says and see what he thinks about the situation. i just dont want to start a law suit and then everything turn out fine. (of course i want everything to be fine!! just dont want to get my hands dirty if it isnt needed).
  • mikajoanow
    mikajoanow Posts: 584 Member
    I'm freaking out right now! my sons pedi is a complete idiot! He's turning 2 next month and has a very mis shaped head. His pedi at first said "well worry about it at 12 months if its not improving". He thought it was just due to how my son slept at night, even though my son never slept in a way that would match up to how his head is shaped. 12 months rolled around and he said it was nothing to worry about until 18-24 months. he went on to say "it isn't even that bad- even if I referred you out, they wouldn't do a thing about it!". So I waited. 18 month appointment came (which was at 20 months) and he again blew it off.

    I went home and did some research and learned that after 18 months there.s very little that can be done. I got a second opinion. This new pedi was shocked that the first pedi didn't refer him out to get fitted for one of those helmets a long time ago! Ideally between 6-12 months but no later then 18 months! Long story short, we're now being referred to a surgeon. And I'm. Losing. My. MIND! They can't see us until Jan. 13th of next year! CRAZY! Because the doctor is going on vacation! (LOVELY!)

    I feel helpless. I don't know what to expect. What to do, or anything! I went online and researched "Plagiocephaly" because the nurse told me it was a "Plagio clinic" and they only have them 1x/month. and basically it says depending on the severity on the case, if left unattended it can cause other problems. Which I think is why I'm so freaked out! I don't know how sever it is! I had one dr. blow it off, and another in complete shock that nothing was done about it! I just don't understand why they only have clinics 1x/month and why the dr would be going on a 2 month vacation!....I'm going to be so stressed and worried through the holidays.

    Has anyone else been through this? We're also waiting to hear back from the speech therapist that we were referred out to. Hopefully she doesnt decide to take vacation too! I'm getting sick of all of the comments from family about how my son wont talk. My BF's grandmother is literally mean about it! saying he's foreign and she *****es at my son because he's "cussing me out. i just know it!" My son is just now starting to really babble and jabber. He doesn't say any real words. And even the babbling is basically just "baba, uhhhh, baaaa nana" all the time! It's just stressful!!!

    Breathe. Its going to be okay, and this is coming from a mother of a six year old with severe verbal dyspraxia/apraxia. My son was barely understandable until he was 4-5 years old. And really didn't try until far after the age of 3.
    It is good that you're seeking a speech therapist. If there is nothing to worry about, which is a huge possibility, it will do nothing but speed up the process. And if there is, on the off chance, something to worry about, he is just getting help sooner.

    I know how crazy this can make a parent, I gained almost 50 pounds from my years of dealing with speech issues. But please know that you are doing all that you can do. Some kids are slow to talk and those with real issues, like my son, usually come around sooner or later with speech therapy. But your son is not even two yet, so please try not to worry yourself sick. (I know easier said than done)
  • aliburstall
    aliburstall Posts: 41
    Aww, darlin'. that sucks. I don't think you could sue, most malpractice attorneys won't take a case, even if it's a genuine case, because the malpractice laws have become so regimented. All you can do is trust the medical people, so don't blame yourself for not knowing to get it managed earlier. Any time something strikes you odd or wrong, get a second opinion. In hindsight, it's easy to say you should have asked ped doc #1 for the referral anyway, but he shouldn't have made that decision since it isn't his field of expertise. I'm so sorry. Take some deep breaths and maybe dance or walk off some stress.
  • CLC900709
    CLC900709 Posts: 49 Member
    Wow, you are going through a LOT!! I am so sorry you are having to deal with this, you poor thing.

    As for the not talking yet, my little brother didn't talk until he was nearly 2 and a half. It was basically gooble gabble until then. My mom was so freaked out.
    When he did start talking, it was practically full sentences! (not really but a lot more than what a normal baby starts talking like)

    I cannot believe the stupidity of your first pediatric doctor! How hard would it have been for him/her to just give you a helmet, for petes sake!!?

    He played it off like he was doing us a favor. because if the helmet wasnt REALLY NEEDED, insurance wont pay for it. well...ok. let the specialist decide if its REALLY NEEDED! thats what theyre there for! and i dont care about insurance! id get the helmet just to keep my son from having to spend the rest of his life with a funny shaped head! whether it came out of my pocket, or the insurances! kids, well people in general, are cruel these days! "cosmetic" or not...it should have been looked into by someone who is in that line of expertise! I just wish i would have gotten the 2nd opinion a lot sooner!
  • chnkydnknmomma
    chnkydnknmomma Posts: 258
    I'm sorry for what you are going through, that Pedi was not doing you any favors, but now it is what it is, so you will have to deal with things as they are now..

    Try to stay calm, as difficult as it is, and don't blame yourself. You did the right thing by pointing it out to his dr several times, and in reality, most of us trust our doctors.

    Seeing as you are in OK, I know specialists are few and far between, maybe you can do some internet research and find a different specialist who can see your son sooner than January. You'll probably have to travel, but I'm sure you'll feel better the sooner you see someone.

    As far as the family and their remarks/attitudes go, screw them...seriously...some people have a lot of nerve and no class. You might want to confront them head on the next time someone makes a rude comment. Put them in their place, this situation is hard enough for you without having to deal with people's stupidity.

    As far as the speech thing goes, it might be nothing, we were very concerned about my niece who refused to talk till she was well over 2, and now she won't be quiet. Even if there is an issue, speech therapy works wonders.

    All the best to you and your family, you will be in my prayers. xo
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