Getting healthy doesn't always mean losing weight!

Hello everyone. I have been on here for a year but have never introduced myself.

I have always thought of myself and perfectly healthy and invincible. I have always been tall and skinny. Even after having two kids, I was 140 lbs and 5'11". I have always been a runner, I have always worked out at the gym everyday....even through my pregnancies. After my third pregnancy, it was extremely difficult to lose the weight. I weighted 205 lbs a year after giving birth to our son. I became severly depressed, I hated the way I looked, I took my vegetarian diet to further extremes in an attempt to lose the weight. I pushed myself harder than I had ever pushed myself before. I pushed myself to the point of landing in ICU because my heart rate dropped so low I had to be paced. I spent 12 days in the hospital after my heart stopped. I had 5 major electrolytes at fatally low levels. I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, major anxiety and panic attacks, and neurocardiogenic syncope. I had become so sick that I could no longer eat, I couldn't take care of myself or my family. I lost over 30 lbs in about 4 weeks. I still struggle with eating enough calories to keep myself going. I still struggle with anxiety and panic attacks. I am in therapy and do feel better. I know recovery is a long, hard road but I know I am on the right path. I joined MyFitnessPal to keep myself accountable for what I eat and what I do for excersize everyday. I have put off running until my doctor tells me it is ok again and I can't wait for the day that I can get back out there and pound the pavement but I have found solice in yoga. It has taught me to cherish where I am at the present moment and I have rediscovered things about myself that I had lost long ago. Fitness is a state of mind, a life style. I have learned that I took it to an unhealthy level and now I need to relearn what it means to be truely healthy....mind, body, and spirit.

Nicole