How to get over emotional stress?

amyyo523
amyyo523 Posts: 13
edited October 4 in Motivation and Support
I recently discovered that my boyfriend of a year had been "sexting" some other lady. Shes ugly. I'm serious. She sent him pictures of herself with a bra on and he sent her one of him shirtless. He said he would get a hotel for them and that he was going to be in her vicinity somewhat soon so they should get together. No actual plans were made, and from the texts its obvious nothing ACTUALLY happened. However. IT STILL PISSES ME OFF AND UPSETS ME. He claims he doesn't remember any of them, which he does drink a lot on weekends with his frat brothers, but is still no excuse. He has blocked her.

I am a fragile person when it comes to relationships and trust. My first love cheated on me the whole time and I found out and went through 10 different rebounds within the year. I always found my boyfriend now as the one who "saved me." Now, I'm not so sure. I'm trying so hard to get over it, but I can't stop picturing the texts and hearing him say those things to her.

It's affecting my everyday life. I don't ever want to eat. I actually don't want to move from my bed. So. How do you guys cope with emotional stress? PLEASE give me advice. I feel like such a baby.

Replies

  • Shweedog
    Shweedog Posts: 883 Member
    Kick his cheating @ss to the curb and concentrate on YOU. He doesn't remember? That means he "wouldn't remember" if he actually went through with their plans. Do yourself a favor and avoid additional heartache. You deserve way better baby gir!!!
  • hojo94
    hojo94 Posts: 140 Member
    It is REALLY hard when the person that you trust your heart with, smashes it... and they either don't see anything wrong with it, or play it down... I guess I am not sure what they are thinking. You are a beautiful person, he is lucky to have you... you have to decide if he is worth the pain, and the heart break... BUT, you have to dig deep down, and realize that you are stronger than you think! TRUST ME. May have been there a time or two in my day... keep your chin up, keep working on your weight loss goals (in a healthy way) and maybe things with him will work, or maybe you will realize that you are better off with out him. No matter what, I wish you the best! You can feel free to add me if you like! I will do all that I can to help, and encourage you.
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    You don't need to be saved by anybody. Pick one amazing, life afirming thing that's just for you and do it. Run a marathon, get a degree, just pick something that's just for you. You'll find out which side of the coin he's on and you may let him stay or you may dump him. You'll be better off and stronger either way. Go You!
  • jessned
    jessned Posts: 3 Member
    Hey honey!!! i know how u feel, it happend to me once upon a time, i went crazy, felt like life was over and nothing to live for, eating my emotions and for what??? Buut not worth it , my ex bf swear to me that it was a foolish thing to do,that he didnt mean to hurt me blablabla and that he loves me...well once a cheater ... no matter what always a cheater and if u like me verry sensitive and think a lot well hun sorry to say but the lilttle mouse in your head will eat u alive....soo just leave the poor *kitten* sorry but its true u dont need that kind of negative energie arround you...dont sweat the small stuuf think of yourself...if he dont bring a smile and warmth to your heart he aint worth it ....but someone else out there will... btw u look hot dont forget that.....:wink:
  • klynn08
    klynn08 Posts: 151 Member
    Im so sorry :( ive gone through this in the past also. No girl deserves that. I say get together with your best friends and treat yourself to a day of shopping and a night of drinks! :) Cheer up
  • klynn08
    klynn08 Posts: 151 Member
    You don't need to be saved by anybody. Pick one amazing, life afirming thing that's just for you and do it. Run a marathon, get a degree, just pick something that's just for you. You'll find out which side of the coin he's on and you may let him stay or you may dump him. You'll be better off and stronger either way. Go You!

    I agree!
  • nbingham
    nbingham Posts: 102 Member
    First I want to say that I'm so sorry that you are having to go through this. No woman deserves to be treated so callously.
    You are definitely NOT being a baby about this. You have every right to be pissed off and upset. The fact that he doesn't remember them should probably concern you MORE not less. Perhaps you're not able to move past this because nothing has really been resolved. He needs to do something about his drinking. Drinking until you start blacking out your memory isn't normal. Who's to say that he's not going to do something like this again while he's not in control of himself. He very well may be a great guy who loves you, but again, he needs to do something about his drinking. If he's not willing to do that then maybe you need to do some thinking about how much he values your relationship and whether you need this kind of behavior in your life or not.
    As a woman who was cheated on, on and off during a 20 year marriage I can tell you that it'll only get worse. I wanted to believe my ex when he'd say "Nothing happened" or "You're imagining things". I wanted to believe because the alternative hurt so much worse that I didn't want to face it. Eventually my self esteem was so low and I'd done such a great snow job on myself for so long that I actually let him get away with openly flirting with an old flame in front of me. He told me that it was nothing and he was just being friendly. I wanted to believe so I did. The final straw came when I found the condoms in his car. He tried to tell me he "didn't know how they got there" but even I couldn't convince myself that he wasn't lying... and trust me... I tried.

    From your picture I can see that you're a beautiful woman. Your post tells me that you're intelligent, caring and eloquent. You can get through this. If you and he can work it out and find a REAL solution then more power to you. If you can't, well... there are plenty of other guys out there who will treat you the way you deserve to be treated.

    Now I have a wonderful man in my life who treats me like gold and looks at me like I'm the answer to life's mystery. It took me far too long to wake up and realize how far I'd fallen. I'd lost myself along the way. Don't let yourself get lost too.

    Best wishes,

    Nancy
  • Persevere230
    Persevere230 Posts: 53 Member
    You feel like a baby cause you are. No offense honey but its just a fact. I remember being your age and not having any kind of self esteem and plus your still discovering who you are as a person, growing, etc etc. Kick this yahoo loose and focus on yourself babycakes. Shes ugly? Hello hes Ugly!! He doesnt remember any of them? Thats rich. :laugh: Drinks a lot? Houston we have a problem. :drinker:

    I hear you with the fragile thing. I remember going through a similiar time and all I can say is this will prepare you for the roller coaster called LIFE. Dont ever rely on a man to "save you". Only YOU can save YOU. Quit torturing yourself with the texts. Instead go out for a nice long walk which will 1) clear your head 2) kick up the endorphins 3) release some seratonin in the brain 4) Make your body feel better. Some other ideas of ways to get through this:

    Hang with your trusted girlfriends and get some female support, girlfriends rule during this time. :smile:

    Put on some make up get dressed up and go out and have fun :tongue:

    Go clothes shopping :happy:

    Take a hot bath and sprinkle some bath salts and lavender in the water.

    Tell this scrub to take a hike!!! :brokenheart:

    Hope this helps

    Namaste. :heart:
  • mea9
    mea9 Posts: 561 Member
    @ Darien: I need a like button! Absolutely agree with everything you said.
  • Persevere230
    Persevere230 Posts: 53 Member
    Right on Mea 9 I said it all with understanding and love. Been there done that way too many times :tongue:
  • songbyrdsweet
    songbyrdsweet Posts: 5,691 Member
    Can you get a therapist? Most insurance companies cover at least a short term round of therapy. I have general anxiety disorder so I see a therapist regularly, and it's really the biggest help in coping. (I'm on meds too, but it's the therapy that makes the biggest difference).
  • mikey1976
    mikey1976 Posts: 1,005 Member
    you can always go on bodybuilding.com and find a guy to help you get even. let him see what it's like. but i don't like my advise getting even just seems mean. dump him if he will cheat on a hottie like you. he's nuts
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