Stalled at the starting point and depressed

KiwiWonder
KiwiWonder Posts: 2
edited October 4 in Health and Weight Loss
I've been 'monitoring' my weight, with off-and-on charting of calories, for approximately the past nine months. Mainly I was wanting to get an accurate view of what I tend to eat / do in the normal day, and see how that is / isn't reflected in my weight. I've not had much luck on weightloss plans while breastfeeding in the past, so that wasn't the main goal, mainly just monitoring and 'knowing', if that makes sense.

Now however, I'm at my highest ever weight, including when I was full term with my last baby (now 1 year old) It's really bothering me.... in part because I've sworn that I'll never buy a larger size of clothes (and there's only a few that fit properly now) and in part just because I HATE being anything over 90kg (despite my 'healthy' weight being around 55kg and my 'normal' / baseline weight around 83kg) - and I'm now 93 as of this morning.

However.... I have in the past, and still do, really struggle with weight-loss plans while nursing a bub that's also on solids. I figure I don't need *all* the extra calories that say a new mum with an exclusive BF'er needs, but surely I'd need a little more than a non-lactating woman? How does one TELL? I don't know how much milk she drinks in a day, let alone how many calories making that milk requires of me.

My other BIG problem is that I don't eat regularly thorughout the day (tend to be more starve-then-binge) which is honestly mainly due to poor planning and too little time Embarassed rather than any conscious focus on food / calories, so it's fairly safe to say that my metabolism is, for all intents and purposes, f**ked. Combine that with a near IV-drip of sugary drinks :-S and it's no secret WHY I'm having problems.

Problem is... I'm really having trouble changing it. I mean, in theory, it's simple, stop drinking the crap, and eat regularly and healthily, and preferably get some exercise in there too (although honestly I'm more active now than pre-kids) But in reality, I'm finding it HARD to even make small changes a little at a time. I tried cutting back on the fizzy, and was successful for almost a week ... but now back to my old levels :-S

I guess in some ways I feel like I don't know what to do now. I've been a member of MyFitnessPal for awhile, and although I like it, it doesn't seem to be enough accountability for me Laughing (though I do like just the honesty with myself factor of it iykwim) I've done Weight Watchers before in the past with small successes but nothing huge. I've done Jenny Craig in the past too, and to be honest that was my favorite, as I LIKE the convenience of it, and having everything ready done for you, especially at the beginning as one gets used to the new style / frequency / portions etc - but I find it prohibitively expensive so that's not on the cards at all at the moment. I don't want to go back to WW and pay all the fees if this is just going to fizzle out again, like it has every other time.... I just don't know how to motivate myself, for ANY of the plans.

Suggestions? What's worked for you?

Replies

  • RaeN81
    RaeN81 Posts: 534 Member
    Okay, I lost quite a bit of weight while breastfeeding and I set my calorie intake to net 1700-1800 calories a day. Even when he was older, it didn't really make much difference. Anyhow, it's a starting point. Either that, or skip the sugary drinks for a while and see if that doesn't work. It seems that you know what to do, you just need to do it. Start.
  • pocomama
    pocomama Posts: 93 Member
    Honestly, nothing worked for me until I changed my mindset and decided that I was not going to fail this time, period. It wouldn't matter if I was using MFP or another format, this is my time. The failures cannot continue. I had been failing at the battle for 10 years and I had to give myself a mental kick in the butt. I am not accountable to anyone but myself. I publish my diary and I do not exactly eat well, but I refuse to be ashamed. Today I ate a bag of M&M's. I wont hide it, I log it and if I go over, well that is not acceptable to me and I will work even harder tomorrow. The soda? I just dont have it in the house anymore...period. I do not trust myself that I will be able to not drink it, so it is no longer on the grocery list.

    I dont know what the answer is for you. I dont know all of the answers, I dont even know what will work for me. I just keep trying and eventually the scale moves, and when it doesnt move I still know that everything I am doing is making me more healthy regardless. I dont need Jenny Craig or Weight Watchers, I need myself. I need to believe in myself. That was the mental adjustment that needed to happen for me.
  • AnneGenevieveS
    AnneGenevieveS Posts: 441 Member
    You are in the right place!! We all struggle with the same things.

    The support I've had here has been better than any other group, weight watchers, doing it on my own, etc. This is the first place I've succeeded. There are many people who started out just like you, and they can relate and give you support. I gained tons with my first son, and again with my second. I have problems with binging. problems with depression. SO many people here do. We work at it every day. Well, most days. haha

    Baby steps. Stay here. Log in every day, whether it good or bad. Get good support group from your fitness pal friends. The rest starts to come naturally. And yes, we all slide back after we make progress. Just keep at it.

    YOU CAN DO THIS!!! I KNOW YOU CAN!!
  • sagetracey
    sagetracey Posts: 607 Member
    Good on you for recognising your own challenges. That's the first step towards making some positive changes.

    Why not figure out the easiest thing for you to change and then commit to doing that - first for a day, then a week, then a month. Once that is part of your habitual behaviour, then choose something else and change in the same way.

    Over time you will find it easier to make and sustain these positive changes.

    Just don't beat yourself up over any hiccups on the way because that is normal, none of us are perfect. The important thing then is to pick yourself and get going again. Don't even wait until tomorrow.
  • Shelby814
    Shelby814 Posts: 273 Member
    It really starts with the mind set. You have to decide what you really want to do & make small changes, one step at a time. You won't do it unless you're ready. One small change at a time may be easier to work into your life. Just pick one thing & do it. Maybe it's just drinking more water for a week. The next week, continue drinking the water & focus on eating a healthy breakfast every day. Then the next week add something else. You can do it!
  • pinkgigi
    pinkgigi Posts: 693 Member
    It has to be a commitment, you've got to want something enough to commit. Even if it is cutting out the fizzy drinks this week. Make it a goal, write everything down and hold yourself accountable. Then on to the next change.

    This last try at losing weight I have made it my pet 'project', the 'getting hot for my 50th' project. I had definite goals, and broke them down into smaller ones, and a time limit. You don't have to know everything right now, if something doesn't work for you, tweek it.

    I think firstly you need a plan and then you need to do work on how you are going to implement it. You say that planning your meals is a downfall, well you CAN do something about that. Actually researching menus etc. is really fun.

    Good luck.
    GG
  • missjoci
    missjoci Posts: 412 Member
    As far as sugary drinks go, I'd say your best bet is to ween yourself off. How you do that doesn't matter. Maybe start drinking half diet soda, or all diet soda, or consuming one less a day for a week at a time then see how you feel. Quitting cold turkey never works well for any of us. And as far as starve and binge...I completely understand that because I still wait to long and binge on crap. Your best bet is to bring snacks along throughout the day. That way you aren't tempted to eat terribly or eat overly healthy portions of food. Even if the snacks aren't the healthiest, your body needs some nutrients to kick start your metabolism. Nothing worse than your stomach growling and hissing at you!

    Hope this helps, best of luck!
  • Megan2Project
    Megan2Project Posts: 351 Member
    The only one that can do it for you is YOU!

    I struggled with motivation for a long time. For me I can't stand the thought of not being around for my kids, and that is huge motivation, I want to be a good example for my kids so the don't grow up with the same food issues I did.

    Take small steps. I committed to one week of bein under my calorie goal. Then I added exercise and it snowballed from there. The biggest thing I am learning is how I recover from indulgent days.

    It's all about commitment. No one will force you I do any of it, you have I find the strength within yourself, and be totally honest with yourself. No more excuses.
  • psych101
    psych101 Posts: 1,842 Member
    Heya darl,

    I'm in NZ too :)

    You really have to set some goals. Why do you want to do this? What do you want to achieve? Don't think of numbers on a scale - why do you want to do this? Who do you want to be? How will losing weight improve your life?

    You need to set some goals, small silly everyday goals, bigger weekly goals, monthly goals, overall goals....set some goals and really attach an emotion or meaning to them. Get excited about being able to meet these goals, get excited about living a healthy lifestyle. Live right now like a healthy person would, and you will become that person.

    It takes guts and determination to change the habits of a lifetime. Set your goals, think them over regularly, post them up over your house. You are so worth this journey!

    Make one healthy decision, then make another. Its hard, yep, but being overweight is hard - choose your hard!


    xx
  • Myzstarr
    Myzstarr Posts: 32 Member
    im having the same problem. its so hard for me to get started. but once i get started for about a week or so everything goes well. my biggest problem is keeping it going. just know u have to take baby steps in this. as long as u keep focused and faith u will have success in this. u can do it. u got this chick
  • NZGeekGirl
    NZGeekGirl Posts: 87
    Hey luv, this is one of those times when it's almost a shame we're not still in the same city huh?

    There has been some awesome advice here, I agree that recognising your roadblocks is the first step. I also agree that second is changing your mindset, getting yourself in that place where you focus on your goal and want it badly enough.

    Sometimes as well, little changes is a good start, as someone else said, start my weaning off the soft drinks then follow it up with other changes. or maybe even the other way round, start making other changes and if that is a huge hurdle save that one for last.

    Lastly I think it needs to be a whole family thing. Have you talked to D about where you're at and is he on board with you? That can make a really huge difference.

    Good luck hun, you can do this, I know you can! xx
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