Relationship Advise

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WarriorMom2012
WarriorMom2012 Posts: 621 Member
in Chit-Chat
Please help me see this clearly!

My husband told me tonight that he'll always love me but if I hit 200 lbs, he wont be sexually attracted to me. As much as that hurt my feelings, I understand not being attracted to a fat slob of a woman!!

My psychiatrist just upped my anti depressants and I'm gaining weight like crazy. This feels like a vicious nasty circle.

How do I handle my marriage? What do I do about my meds? I'm soooo confused!!
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Replies

  • poisongirl6485
    poisongirl6485 Posts: 1,487 Member
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    Drop the extra weight.


    By extra weight, I mean the *kitten* husband.
  • manjingirl
    manjingirl Posts: 188 Member
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    Gee, that's harsh.

    Maybe you need to talk to your doctor about the anti-depressant associated weight gain and see if maybe another AD would be worth trying. Or get a referral to a nutritionalist.
  • JellyJaks
    JellyJaks Posts: 589 Member
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    Have a long conversation with your husband about what he said and how it made you feel. If you're dealing with depression, you need his unconditional love to get over the hump until your medication starts stabilizing your mood. I just got my bipolar medication all taken care of and at the right dosage and I tell you if my husband hadn't been there peeling me off the ceiling the entire time I don't know what I would have done with myself. Half the time I wasn't even aware of the last time I had showered or brushed my teeth let alone what I was eating.
  • dovesgate
    dovesgate Posts: 894 Member
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    Talk to your doctor about your medication.
  • jaceykay
    jaceykay Posts: 6
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    exercise increases chemicals in your brain that make you feel happy ... So increase the exercise and decrease the meds!
  • voluptas63
    voluptas63 Posts: 602 Member
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    Please help me see this clearly!

    My husband told me tonight that he'll always love me but if I hit 200 lbs, he wont be sexually attracted to me. As much as that hurt my feelings, I understand not being attracted to a fat slob of a woman!!

    My psychiatrist just upped my anti depressants and I'm gaining weight like crazy. This feels like a vicious nasty circle.

    How do I handle my marriage? What do I do about my meds? I'm soooo confused!!

    #1 have some respect for yourself. "Fat slob of a woman" ARE YOU KIDDING ME? You need to start caring about yourself.
    #2 Go back to your doctor and see what they can do about putting you on a different pill for your depression. Not all of them cause weight gain.
  • Ange_
    Ange_ Posts: 324 Member
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    That must have really hurt.
    At least you know your partner is honest, which i know isn't much consolation. He is probably meaning best to be saying it.

    You are on this site, so obviously you want to do something about your weight and your health. And yes you have the difficulty of being on medication.
    On the upside exercise is a great natural mood booster, so perhaps if you start getting fitter and healthier you won't need as much medication. Also perhaps try fish oil capsules which have other nutritional benefice too.
    I think you should be happy that you have a partner who loves you. And now get on with doing something about your health. You need this regardless of him. Do it for yourself.
    If you need to get some professional help too - perhaps a personal trainer if you need the motivation, or discuss this all with your doctor do it.
    But you deserve to be happy and healthy and get the most out of your life. And you (and we all on here) need a complete lifestyle change, not a short term fad diet to only solve things short term and make things worse later.

    Good luck! Grab life by the horns and go with it!
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    I think you need to give your husband an ultimatum. Let him know there are plenty of men who find women over 200 pounds attractive (as proven by the mutiple "why do guys only like skinny b1tches" threads). If he does not still provide love and intercourse once that weight is exceeded, let him know you will leave him for someone who will meet your needs. You should also tell him that the medication is necessary because it prevents you from smothering him with a pillow while he sleeps.
  • Haniaethol
    Haniaethol Posts: 1
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    Well, it's good that he's being honest with you. That's pretty important.

    Is he being supportive of your weight loss? How about your therapy? These are important questions to ask yourself.

    Ultimately no one here will be able to tell you what to do; only you have all of the information needed to make any sort of decision. Personally I used to be on anti-depressants and other medications, but I quit taking them all because they made me feel even worse. It was difficult, but I'm ultimately much happier. It's definitely an option to consider if your depression IS NOT a matter of a chemical imbalance. Perhaps you could talk to your therapist about switching your medication to something that won't make you retain so much water.

    If your husband isn't supporting you in both your physical and mental endeavors, then maybe it's time you reconsidered your relationship. Try having a heart-to-heart with him. What he said obviously hurt your feelings. Having someone around who is only blocking your progress will only slow you down.

    I'm proud of you for being here. You will hit that weight loss goal if you keep at it, medication or not. Ignore all of the trolls, keep moving forward, and love yourself! You don't need someone else to tell you that you're doing great. Keep at it, girl.
  • datguy2011
    datguy2011 Posts: 477 Member
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    um... if he's not attracted to you... then leave.. simple isn't it?
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
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    READ THERE PROFILES...
  • flasportsfan
    flasportsfan Posts: 126 Member
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    So, if he gets fat, bald and smelly, which he will, does that mean you get to tell him so and leave him? You deserve so much better, babe. Give HIM the low down and tell him that his looks aren't anything to yahoo about!
  • _beachgirl_
    _beachgirl_ Posts: 3,865 Member
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    READ THERE PROFILES...

    *their
  • JoyBellz
    JoyBellz Posts: 108 Member
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    Wow! That's so sad! My vows said in sickness and in health. He should be supporting you. Only you know what's right in your marriage, but this doesn't seem like something that is going to help you reach your goals and maintain them. Unhealthy relationships lead to unhealthy behavior. I can't see how that comment could be helpful to you in any way. I sorry to hear that someone has said such a horrible thing to you. I hope that you can figure out what is right for you. Best of luck!
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
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    READ THERE PROFILES...

    *their

    Cheers for that... Spelling is not my thing.
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
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    His not leaving he just wont have sex with her. Men are visually stimulated...
  • La_Amazona
    La_Amazona Posts: 4,855 Member
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    lie. don't tell him how much you weigh. simple. or is he peeking over your shoulder when you weigh in??

    we always take off 25 lbs anyway.. right?
  • KatieCuth
    KatieCuth Posts: 569 Member
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    Probably the reason I dont hang out much in the chit chat...
  • southofmadness
    southofmadness Posts: 316 Member
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    Terrible. First .. no real man of any caliber would say this to a woman he truly loves unless it is in fun...and even then..
    Second , as im sure was posted by someone by now i hope, dont get medical advice from a forum such as this as clearly no one would know your situation or have the knowledge to give u safe advice. Good intended or not. Lastly express your feelings to him on how he hurt yours. you will never look more lovely than u do today. Not to say u cant lose the weight, feel better about yourself and look amazing but age will catch us all. If 200 lbs is the cut off..what is the age limit cutoff? What requirements on hair if you ever got sick.? Will he still be attracted if u lost a limb?
    Lose the weight for yourself, your health and not for anyone else. If not..and he cant preform..well thats on him..and i saw a few pics in your profile.....if he doesnt adore you...i promise u someone else will .
  • Ainsleyjane90
    Ainsleyjane90 Posts: 11
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    Not cool at all! I was on anti-depressants and gained the same weight you are experiencing. It really does stink. You don't want people to think you've stopped caring about your body but you don't want to tell everyone "hey i'm gaining weight because of my anti-depressants!" I was able to ween myself off the pills and found that exercising helped me deal with the anxiety and depression. Do what YOU need to do, not what you think your husband wants! Best of luck :)

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