I met my first major goal today!!

After this morning's workout and weigh-in, I left the gym in tears.

Well, first I high-fived a stranger and explained to her that the reason for my funny squealing noises on the scale was because I am now officially no longer obese. Then I had to practically run to the truck, because I was crying from the relief.

I have never been a petite girl, although back when I was in the Air Force (half my life ago), I was down to a size 6, which I also was again in 2008. Other than that, for most of my life I have been slightly plump, though in possession of some curves nice enough that I still got plenty of second glances and compliments, so I wasn't terribly concerned. But then, a few years ago, the weight started slowly packing on. First, I got a desk job. Then I got laid off. Then I quit drinking (and started eating). Then I got another desk job. And quit smoking (started eating even more). Then I got laid off for five months. That was when I packed on the most weight.

You see, I had gone back to school in my mid-thirties to get a degree in science, thinking I'd never be poor again. I was tired of working my butt off in the mental health field and barely being able to make ends meet. But it didn't work out how I planned. Although I got hired by a great company right after I finished school, I got laid off nine months later, when the recession hit full force. Nevada's unemployment rate is the highest in the nation, and I live in the county with the worst unemployment in Nevada. Knowing how many others were suffering did not help me cope. I found myself sobbing and signing up for food bank just a little over 2 years ago. My inability to meet my financial obligations felt like total failure to me. I became horribly depressed, and since I could no longer smoke or drink my feelings away, I proceeded to eat them. Five months after my layoff, I got a wonderful job that took me back to Reno, and shortly after that, my car died, so I began riding my bike everywhere. Thank goodness I was living in town where everything I needed was within a 2-mile radius, because I was so out of shape that I often had to walk my bike for parts of each ride. While several months on the bike helped get me a little toned, I failed to lose any weight at all. Eventually, I was offered my old job back, so I returned to my tiny little town, where I bought a house (2 months ago) and moved in with my boyfriend. We began carpooling to work, so I didn't even ride my bike anymore.

I haven't owned a scale in years, so I am not sure when I officially crossed the line into obesity. In fact, until I joined this site, I didn't even know I fit the criteria. All I knew was that I was fatter than I've ever been, my back and knees hurt, I got winded very easily, and even running across the street was painful. Then my boyfriend and I went to Vegas to meet my sister (Jasperpup, who just joined this site herself a couple of days ago). We had a great time. But on our last night in town, we went to ride the zipline down Fremont Street. Prior to getting in, we each had to be weighed. When I got on the scale, I almost threw up in my mouth. 193 pounds. When did that happen? How could I have gotten so big and not noticed it? When I answered honestly, I had to admit I HAD noticed, but had ignored it. I took great comfort in food (especially ice cream and giant bowls of sugary cereals), and my boyfriend thought I was beautiful no matter what, so it seemed irrelevant. Until Vegas.

After we rode the zipline, we bought a copy of the pictures they took of us riding down over the street. The picture shows me from behind, looking over my shoulder at the camera. When I look at it, all I can see is one big giant rear-end, topped by some rolls of back-fat. It was like a bucket of cold water in the face. I could no longer ignore what I had done to my body.

I joined the gym, starting with 3 days of cardio (on the bikes, because I could only do 2 minutes on the elliptical, and I can't run without pain) plus strength training. Now I'm up to four days weekly. And all of my cardio (a minimum of 60 minutes each work-out day) is done on the elliptical. After some research on healthy eating and nutrition, I cut out 80% of my processed foods. I began paying attention to portion size. I started logging in to MFP every day and logging everything I ate, learning in the process how many calories, fats, sugars, etc. are in everything I was eating.

It's only been a few weeks, but I have lost 13 lbs. I feel stronger. My clothes fit better. And I am no longer obese. Granted, I'm still overweight, and want to lose at least 40 more pounds. But I have met my first goal, which shows me that my efforts are paying off, and I CAN do this. Now the next goal is to weigh less than my boyfriend. I intend to meet that one by the end of the year, holidays and all!!

Thanks for listening,
Tracey