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catching one's self in the window *sob*

april_beth
april_beth Posts: 616 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
so if i dont share this, i'll just cry for the rest of the night and say mean things to myself all night.

so you know how you catch your reflection in a window while walking down the street?

well, there i was eating my supper a few minutes ago like a rather normal human being. i'm not scarfing down my food like a frenzied cannibal devouring their catch. i swear. i'd admit it if i were (which i did yesterday at lunch, but that's a whole 'nother story). anyways, there i am, eating my supper, watching to make sure that beast son of mine keeps his food somewhat on his plate when, bam, out of nowhere i look to my left and see an image i can't possible believe is mine; i cannot possibly look like this frumpy mcfrump frump can i? i look away. i look back. i look at my plate. im trying not to cry. WHAT IS GOING ON??!!! yeah, sure, i'm sitting down not sucking in my stomach and not wearing anything oh so exciting (since i work at home and am in pjs most days, well, all days) but i mean COME ON - *this* is what people see when they look at me?!

frik people of the world, i apologize wholeheartedly that i dare enter your line of vision...christ all mighty, how i have not turned you to stone yet i will have no idea. im already heartbroken today so why not just add this vision to my brain...*sigh*

that is all. i am hoping no one else is having a pathetic self moment such as this. i hope youre all kicking *kitten* and i send you love *double sigh*

Replies

  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    I am not going to blow smoke up your @ss (unless you ask nicely) or placate you. I'll let you wallow for a moment. But I want to point something out real quick. Not sure it will help or not, but know that I have the best of intentions.

    I sit here and I look at your ticker and I think, I would saw off a limb to be the size you are RIGHT NOW. So while you look in the window and sob, I look at you in envy. It's all about perception my sweet sweet girl.

    Now for the luv, b/c you are my favorite squishy in the whole wide world. :smooched: :blushing: :love:
  • jenfactor
    jenfactor Posts: 124
    I can definitely relate. I hope you can channel that feeling as extra motivation! You can change that person you saw!
  • purplebabe2025
    purplebabe2025 Posts: 383 Member
    I am not going to blow smoke up your @ss (unless you ask nicely) or placate you. I'll let you wallow for a moment. But I want to point something out real quick. Not sure it will help or not, but know that I have the best of intentions.

    I sit here and I look at your ticker and I think, I would saw off a limb to be the size you are RIGHT NOW. So while you look in the window and sob, I look at you in envy. It's all about perception my sweet sweet girl.

    Now for the luv, b/c you are my favorite squishy in the whole wide world. :smooched: :blushing: :love:

    This. I did exactly the same thing and thought, but you're doing so well.
    Of course I hear what you're saying, I've given up thinking negatively cause I know I'm making an effort, I know it's working, and I know when I catch up to where you are now you'll be another 20lbs ahead.
    Keep your head up girl, it is working for you.
  • androidgal
    androidgal Posts: 46 Member
    Dont feel too down....& dont forget reflections dont always reflect properly, due to lighting etc....at the end of the day....you are here on this site...which is a HUGE achievement as so many people out there dont give a damm or even try to improve themselves in any way....& it is not like you had gone out on a glamour trip after all???

    We cant all look our bests at all times and sometimes as one of your other friends said..perception can make a huge difference...

    if you were already feeling broken hearted it is sooooo easy to view everything in a bad light...on another day and the same reflection you might see the glorious human being you are.....

    So here is a :flowerforyou: & you are way ahead of me also.....so feel proud of all the things you have achieved....

    BIGHUGS

    Elaine xx
  • poesch77
    poesch77 Posts: 1,005 Member
    Cheer up Charlie! We always see ourselves in a different light than others do! You are a beautiful girl! That is all. :flowerforyou:
  • _SusieQ_
    _SusieQ_ Posts: 2,964 Member
    My sweet Luv, you are your own worst enemy, as so many of us are. I am responding in public rather than in private b/c you poured your amazing huge heart out in public and I want people to know how great you are, in spite of your ramblings to the contrary. :wink:

    I completely understand the feelings of self loathing. I believe we all have them. But you are taking a step to make changes, and that in itself is something to be proud of. You are a great mom who loves her kids. An amazing friend who is always so supportive (sarcasm can = support, right??). And brave, for putting this out there for all of us who have these thoughts about ourselves.

    Ok, that's all the gush I can spare for at LEAST 15 minutes.
  • Tree72
    Tree72 Posts: 942 Member
    Sometimes along this journey to change ourselves our bodies and our minds don't quite line up. Sometimes your mind is racing ahead and ready for your body to "be there already". And sometimes your mind is stuck where your body used to be. It's always disconcerting when you realize this disconnect.

    The feelings you have at the moment are perfectly valid, but they are not the end of the story. Let yourself be upset if you need to, but then pick yourself up and move on. You have already made fantastic progress on your journey, and I know you can continue to do even more. You will get to where you want to be, you just have to remember to be patient and gentle with yourself along the way.
  • tam120
    tam120 Posts: 444 Member
    I say get out of those PJs and get dressed! I work from home sometimes and it is very unmotivating to stay in PJs all day. Get up in the morning, do your normal thing as if you were actually going to another location to work. It makes a difference.
  • parys1
    parys1 Posts: 2,072 Member
    I, too, have been caught in that moment. It can really hurt. Know this, MANY windows/mirrors/reflective-surface-of-choice, are distorted and sometimes it's our eyes that carry the distortion. Looking at your profile pic, you are beautiful (but perhaps a leave of PJs is in order :wink: )
  • santini1975
    santini1975 Posts: 175 Member
    That moment you had; I get it. I was bent over in my underwear and glanced at the full length mirror. Rolls here, dimples there, UUGH! My butt was completely covered in cellulite. From the back I probably looked like a giant golf ball on a tee. For a long time I hated my reflection and anybody holding a camera. I would quickly get in and out of the shower without looking at myself in the mirror out of fear of reliving that horror.
    My advise is: Use it.
    Positive reinforcement only goes so far. I've found that fear is an amazing motivator. I tell everyone this: Take pics of yourself when you were at your heaviest and put those suckers on the monitor of your treadmill and on the fridge door. See if you stop your workout early or go digging for a snack between meals when you have to face that!
    When I got into the healthy BMI range, I burned those damn pics as a reward to myself! XD
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