Me? An inspiration? Really? Gee! Thanks!

WOWEE YOU ARE INSPIRING!~ A friend wrote that to me today. It was one of those moments when you look behind you to see who they are talking too or in this case read to see if they are actually commenting on your post.

So here I am 343 lbs, having lost 34 lbs and knowing I still have at least 160 lbs to lose and maybe more. I am not feeling very inspiring and yet this wonderful person says I am.

I have been obese for most of my adult life. I have tried and failed so many diets it is not funny. I have played a lot of mind games convincing myself that I was not really that out of shape, I could still do most of what I wanted to do. Besides, it's my body, right. Why does anyone else care how big I am or what I look like. As long as I am happy that is all that matters, right?

I have always been interested in health and fitness both as a nurse and also as one who craves knowledge. However, I never found the quest for health and fitness outweighed the pleasure I contrived from mindless eating and the lull of inactivity. I had convinced myself that I was happy and though I would like a "smoking hot body" it was not worth the effort.

Okay, there are a few problems in this thought process.

1. At over 300 lbs for way too many years, no way was I "not really that out of shape".

2.Perhaps I could do most of what I wanted to do, the problem was I had settled for not wanting much. When you are moving this much weight around, you quit wanting a lot of things if they take any physical exertion.

3.It is my body, true, but other people do care. They care about looking at or making amends for your size. Those who love you and even some who barely know you, also care about your health. If you are obese, you are NOT healthy.

4.What is happy? Setting on the couch in a semi-coma reached by mind numbing eating and little or no activity, is not happy.
Although a "smoking hot body" may not be my goal, watching life go by is also not desirable.

So about a year ago, I began reading more about natural health. In the last 3 months I have begun to devour information on health and fitness. I have found that by munching on this information, my desire for decadent dishes is decreasing.

Yep, you got it. The more I learn about how my body works, what fat and chemicals does to my system the less interested I am in my former "Fat and Happy" lifestyle.

After 50 years of living and 30 years of nursing, I am finally getting it. I want to be healthy and fit. Not because I want to look hot for some guy or make my ex jealous or any type of vanity at all. No, I want my body to be the best it can be. I don't want to sit in a rocking chair and watch life from my porch, I want to LIVE!

So I am educating myself, I am making better choices and I am pushing my body to do things I never thought I could do. I cannot undo at least 30 years of self abuse in 2 months but I can certainly make a difference. There is no guarantee that I will not end up setting in that rocking chair but I am going to go down fighting. I walked my first 5K Saturday and I plan for it to be the first of many. I plan to have people asking me at 80 years old how I have stayed so healthy and fit. I have lived the last 30 years as a fat and frumpy woman, my next 30 years are going to be vibrant and exciting and above all healthy and ACTIVE!

So, if that makes me inspiring, GREAT! Label me Inspired! That is a label I can LIVE with!