Minor rant...do you get the "stop losing weight" comment
kikkipoo
Posts: 292 Member
In the last couple of pounds I've heard from a handful of friends and family that I need to stop losing weight because I'm looking too thin. That's all fine and dandy if I was in a good range, but I'm still 154 pounds. By BMI standards I'm still overweight. Not even in a healthy range yet. What's the deal? I know they're used to me being chunky and the change may be different for them, but if I were a random stranger they wouldn't look at me and say geez she is too thin....it's defeating! I have to keep defending my goals and start self doubting. I do lose weight from my top half easier so my collar bones show, my neckline and shoulders are slim and my cheekbones are defined, but I still have so much I'd like to accomplish with the rest of my body. It's got tO eventually start coming off from the bottom half, right?
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everyday0
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I also loose from my top half faster its weird but yeah that is so like you said defeatingto hear that. Stay true to yourself0
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I don't listen to anybody but myself...I will know when I am where I want to be and no one else matters...0
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Yeah.... maybe you can start by answering something like, "well my BMI is XX and I'm working to get to a healthier XX!" They can't really debate that. Good luck and keep up the good work!0
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I got that a lot. I'm sure it's because they get used to how you look overweight and all of a sudden as you approach a healthy normal weight, you look skinny and gaunt to them. My weight loss was especially noticeable in my face.
The sad part is when the people telling you not to lose anymore weight because you look unhealthy are people that are overweight with knee problems, heart problems, and a host of other ailments. There is still a culture among a lot of folks out there where fat is considered strong, healthy, and well-fed, and thin is weak and malnourished.
Just blow it off and know they will eventually get used to your new look and it will then look normal to them just like your old look once did.0 -
Don't get too wrapped up in BMI and what is "overweight". Most any woman can be perfectly healthy at 154 pounds. Focus more on how you feel and what your goals are, not some arbitrary number that only applies to "average" people, when nobody's average. On the other hand, though, don't ignore what others around you are saying. While others can see that you're looking better than 99% of women, you could still be obsessing over the little bit of fat that's stuck on your thighs.0
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I lie. Tell them you aren't losing any more weight and that they must just be noticing it more. If they comment on your eating or exercising, just tell them you want to maintain your healthy lifestyle.0
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i tell them they should stop gaining weight.0
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Yup happens to me all the time. My big problem is Ive always carried my weight well and when I tell people how much Ive lost they seem to think Im losing my mind. But remeber the majorety of Americans are overweight and alot of them think they look fine so a healthy BMI probably would make you to skinny in thier eyes. But you know what you say to that F%$# em its you that needs to be happy with you .0
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Yes all the time but I think it's because I have gone from being 16stone 4 years ago to under 11 stone now and I am 5ft 7. I will stop when I'm ready, in the meantime I love being on here logging my foods and getting support and encouragement from everyone. keep up the good work
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I hear that all the time. I'm tired of people thinking I should be overweight to look healthy. I'm at the high end of normal BMI and looking to reach a happy middle range BMI... only about 10lbs to go. Everyone says I will long anorexic if I lose anymore but it's just not true. Know what is healthy for you and stick to it, just because people think you should look bigger, don't listen to them.0
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It happens. When you are changing for the better (you) and people aren't used to it or trying to do something for themselves,they will do their best to stop your momentum. It makes them feel better and gives them an excuse for not trying to improve. continue on your road to personal happiness and pay no attention to what others are saying. As long as you are happy and doing it for you........that's all that matters....Continued success.......GEC0
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The sad part is when the people telling you not to lose anymore weight because you look unhealthy are people that are overweight with knee problems, heart problems, and a host of other ailments. There is still a culture among a lot of folks out there where fat is considered strong, healthy, and well-fed, and thin is weak and malnourished.
Totally agree with this. And if it's not the fact that they think fat=healthy, it could also be the fact that they are self conscious about their weight and wish they had the determination to shed it like you! Just like bullies in school - they feel bad, so they want you to feel bad with them.0 -
Yeah, I think it's just gotten to a point where my overweight friends are feeling left behind and betrayed, and my skinny friends are feeling threatened and afraid I'll look better than them. Or maybe it's because I've never stuck with anything longer than a couple of weeks and the fact that I have committed to this as a lifestyle makes them concerned that it has turned into an obsession or eating disorder. I don't know what the motives are, but I will keep plugging away. And if all else fails, like someone said earlier, I will lie and say I haven't lost anymore.0
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I lie. Tell them you aren't losing any more weight and that they must just be noticing it more. If they comment on your eating or exercising, just tell them you want to maintain your healthy lifestyle.
Yep, I did this too when I was still losing. I'm very small boned and no one could see that when my frame was buried under a lot of fat. It's quite a shock for everyone to see how small I am now that the fat is gone. It doesn't help too that I have a naturally thin face so I get comments about looking "gaunt." Putting on weight didn't give me a nice, youthful plump face with full cheeks. I just had a thin face with a double chin -- not a pretty sight. lol Ignore them and do what feels right for you.0 -
Yes! Everyone that I know who has become slender and fit (even the muscular ones) has been told this. If you're eating healthy, being active and feeling good - keep on goin.0
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I get it a lot lately (in addition to many positive comments as well). It's kind of fun. I thank them for noticing the weight loss and then I tell them I'm in close touch with my doctor about both my weight loss and my weight loss approach. What is a little harder is the people who haven't seen me for awhile and are convinced the weight loss is due cancer reoccurence despite the fact that I look healthier than I have in my adult life due to healthy weight loss and exercise.0
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I've gotten the "you never looked overweight". Um, I was up 32lbs from 4-5 years ago, how can you not see the difference? No one carries that much weight THAT well.
I've also been called obsessive about calories. Um, I want to know what I'm putting in my mouth, is that so bad? I'm not even logging or writing down at the table, just reading labels and assessing when I'm in a restaurant.
People.0 -
Yup, I get that a lot. I work in an optometry office so I have patients that have known me for years and come in just once or twice a year... they do a double take!!! It's funny when I tell them I've lost 50 pounds, they didn't think I was THAT heavy! Well, I was, and never want to be again!!! Then they ask my secret, and I tell them about MFP and running and how they saved my life. Then they say I should stop losing and I tell them I'm almost done.... that usually stops the jaw dropping... usually!!!
It's funny, but I'm not offended when people comment, just proud of who I am and what I've done for my life. I don't take it seriously when people ask if I'm sick or something, they mean well, and I just assure them I'm healthier than ever!!!0 -
I so know what you mean. I gain weight an awful lot on my bum, thighs and hips than on my stomach, so my friends say I look thin when really I haven't lost much weight, I've still got these flabby legs.0
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Please don't say that. There is no number that would be perfectly healthy for MOST women. If she thinks she needs to lose a bit more then just take her at her word. You aren't helping - you're doing the same thing she's complaining about.Don't get too wrapped up in BMI and what is "overweight". Most any woman can be perfectly healthy at 154 pounds. Focus more on how you feel and what your goals are, not some arbitrary number that only applies to "average" people, when nobody's average. On the other hand, though, don't ignore what others around you are saying. While others can see that you're looking better than 99% of women, you could still be obsessing over the little bit of fat that's stuck on your thighs.0 -
Yup happens to me all the time. My big problem is Ive always carried my weight well and when I tell people how much Ive lost they seem to think Im losing my mind. But remeber the majorety of Americans are overweight and alot of them think they look fine so a healthy BMI probably would make you to skinny in thier eyes. But you know what you say to that F%$# em its you that needs to be happy with you .
LOL so true!0 -
I get that from my grandma every time I see her. She's just used to me being chunkier. In high school I got up to 155ish lbs, but I'm 5'5 so that's on the borderline of overweight according to BMI index. Now I'm about 130 and my grandma thinks I need to gain that weight back. I'm much more confident without an extra 20 lbs on my body, and I really don't want it back.0
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Thanks guys. I've decided nobody is going to make me feel bad or stop doi g what I want to do.0
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Yep!!0
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A lot of it is jealousy. Or they're just used to seeing you overweight, so they're comparing you to the old you, not to average people. If you maintain your loss, the comments will stop. Just hope you don't regain or these same people may tell you that you're gaining it back. I changed jobs so that people would just know me at this weight, It worked. No more comments about being "too thin".0
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After a year overseas and working very hard to lose weight I went back to oz to visit my family.My fathers first comment 'you look sick,your too thin'.I have a few kilos left and I was to that point very proud of myself to be where I was weight wise.I was upset and for awhile wondered if Id taken it too far but then bub got stuck into dad telling him how unhappy Id been when I was big and how he'd never spoke up and told us we were unhealthy.This was always done for me,so Ill go till I'm finished and Ive reached the goal weight I have set myself.People that see me everyday never comment but those that had not seen me for the year all bar one said I was way too skinny.It was my little sister (bub) who has been with me from day dot that told me,'Its your body,its your goal weight so no matter what others say,you need to be happy with how you are'.
No one told me I was big,no one said a damn thing at how unhealthy I was,how I was getting bigger and bigger,they just let me carry on.Now,well,they feel they can comment when they like.I'm aware I would have been hurt back then if I was told I was overweight,but a simple well done goes so much further now than the criticism I received.0 -
bump0
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Just start singing, "Pretty Girl Rock": Don't HATE me 'cause I'm beautiful...Don't HATE my 'cause I'm beautiful!
Seriously, you're right. No one can get in your way. Your "right weight" is what's right for YOU, when you feel at your best.
Cheers!0 -
Kikkipoo, please don't take this the wrong way, but the bmi is only the ratio between your height and weight. The bmi doesn't know how much fat is on your body. According to the bmi, bodybuilders are overweight.
If in the future you decide you want to build lean muscle, your bmi will show that you are overweight, even if you have a 10% body fat percentage.
I don't care about my bmi, I care about my body fat percentage, because it lets me know how much fat is on my body and if I am going in the right direction. When I get down to my body fat percentage goal, my bmi will still state that I'm overweight and I'm fine with that. My body fat percentage will say I'm healthy.
I hope I haven't offended you with my comment.0
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