Being supportive

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spottedlee
spottedlee Posts: 372
in Motivation and Support
Sometimes in mid-September, my daughter started the P90x with goal of losing weight with her friend. I saw her yesterday and she still look the same as before, maybe a bit more (actually, alot more.) I didn't say anything, but I asked how she's doing with P90X. She said she's doing good, trying to eat 3,000 calories. I thought WHOA! I told her that way too much and she claims that was what the video said. I didn't want to argue with her.

Her friend is also gaining.

I looked online about P90X, there seems to be alot of complaints about it. Something about P90X never claim it was a weight loss program but it is a FITNESS program.

What I am looking for,, is there ANYWAY that I can persade her and her friend that P90X isn't for them? I am just looking for idea that won't provoke her.

Replies

  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    You??? Probably not ... just speaking as a mom myself. I bet you'd get further with someone other than yourself planting the seed that this program may not be best for her.
  • debussyschild
    debussyschild Posts: 804 Member
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    3,000 calories is only appropriate for someone who is training for a marathon or some other high intensity sport. She does NOT need that much food! It might go a long way to convince her that she needs to eat less by explaining to her how to find her basal metabolic rate (what her body needs to just survive), and then help her calculate her daily caloric expenditure by figuring out what she does on a daily basis for activity, NOT including exercise. She can use MFP to do all that, lol!!! Maybe if she just tried eating maybe 1800 calories on days when she does P90X and about 1500 on days when she rests, she'd get the picture that eat 3,000 is a quick way to GAIN weight no matter how hardcore you are about P90X. Has she stepped on the scale at all since she started the program and noticed the gain there? That might help her change her mind about the program... Best of luck! Seems like she could use some guidance, bless you for trying to give it to her :)
  • 2bFitNTrim
    2bFitNTrim Posts: 1,209 Member
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    According to your profile, your daughters are grown. You already told her that 3000 calories was too much & she dismissed it. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything more about it unless she brings it up & asks you for your opinion. I know you mean well though.
  • fteale
    fteale Posts: 5,310 Member
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    Ask her if she's pregnant? She might get the hint.
  • spottedlee
    spottedlee Posts: 372
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    She can use MFP to do all that, lol!!!
    Has she stepped on the scale at all since she started the program and noticed the gain there? That might help her change her mind about the program... Best of luck! Seems like she could use some guidance, bless you for trying to give it to her :)
    She said "I am gaining becuase I am building muscles" but I am not seeing it. About MFP, guess what,, it was her that intro me to FMP and I lost 10 pounds cuz of it. She uses MFP to keep track of her intakes to meet the 3,000 cal/day. I still think its WAY TOO MUCH.
    Ask her if she's pregnant? She might get the hint.
    LOL,, that might work but her gain is most obvious around her hip and butt.


    Postscript -- my sister texted me this morning, wondering about my daughter saying she's on "some exercise program" yet she getting fatter. I texted her back telling her that my daughter is doing it all wrong and I am trying to find a way to show her the light without getting in a fight.
  • kgcart
    kgcart Posts: 27 Member
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    You??? Probably not ... just speaking as a mom myself. I bet you'd get further with someone other than yourself planting the seed that this program may not be best for her.

    Excellent response, she'll see soon enough on her own!
  • kgcart
    kgcart Posts: 27 Member
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    I don't do P90x mostly because I can't and don't want to at this point in my life but I do know there are 3 levels of nutrition in the P90x program. Sounds like the 3000 calorie program, called the (Endurance Maximizer) is the level this woman's daughter is at. Double workouts = big time caloric intake with emphasis on carbs! Level 1 is the fat shredder level and this may be the one to lose weight.

    Bottom line is leave her be (as mentioned by two replies I read) and set yourself as an example for weight loss!

    Asking her if she's pregnant is a good way to insult your daughter and possibly alienate yourself from her. Besides, those are fighting words that lack teeth especially if your not losing weight yet you see fit to dis her program?
  • kgcart
    kgcart Posts: 27 Member
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    According to your profile, your daughters are grown. You already told her that 3000 calories was too much & she dismissed it. If it were me, I wouldn't say anything more about it unless she brings it up & asks you for your opinion. I know you mean well though.

    Ah wisdom. Great answer!!!
  • sjtreely
    sjtreely Posts: 1,014 Member
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    Ask her if she's pregnant? She might get the hint.

    I'd never ask anyone if they were pregnant - especially if I knew she wasn't which I'm assuming is the case in your situation. My guess is that would set a barrier between the two of you that would take years to mend. I can't imagine a comment like that coming from the person who is supposed to love me the most.

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