Well-meaning friends (but are they really?)

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can_tastic
can_tastic Posts: 28 Member
in Motivation and Support
I should preface this post by saying I would never blame someone for the fat on my behind. My hand or fork inserts food in my mouth - no one is holding a loaded gun to my head to make me eat like crap. However... what is the deal with friends who push food on you? I have a hard time saying "no" to people in general, and it really sucks when you try to set a boundary but a friend poo-poos it. Does this happen to anyone else? If so, how do you handle it? Or am I just a total wuss? In case you need an example, here you go:

Me: I'll have a Miller Lite.
My friend: What the hell are you drinking that crap for? You don't even like light beer.
Me: Well it's the only light beer available, and I'm trying to watch it.
My friend: Shut up. You don't need to diet. Bartender, get this girl a Sam Adams on me please.
(Later on that evening we also had crab dip and chicken tenders "on her" even though I said I wanted a salad)

Replies

  • mayjen85
    mayjen85 Posts: 6
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    My roommate is the exact same way. I don't expect her to limit herself because I'm trying to lose weight. But I'll come home with a salad and she'll come home with three boxes of cookies. I'll cook something healthy for dinner and she''ll go "why are you eating that crap?' Her compliments are back handed with support thrown in with an indirect insult. And she constantly is asking for us to go eat here or order from there. I've try to be firm and say no, but sometimes I get weak and give in.

    I've tried talking to her but she doesn't see the problem,mostly because she never had a weight battle. For the most part I now try to plan what I'm eating for the day so when she tries to tempt me I can say "sorry, I already know what I'm having!" And I always carry some healthy snacks in case those cookies come poking their delicious heads around again.

    Good luck!
  • Luckiestmomever
    Luckiestmomever Posts: 44 Member
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    Well the way I see it you either have to toughen up and insist on what you want or hang out with a different friend. If you have explained to her that you feel this way, and she still does it, then she is only thinking of herself when ordering that crab dip, beer, and chicken, not you. She prolly doesn't realize she's doing it, so have a heart to heart.
  • can_tastic
    can_tastic Posts: 28 Member
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    Thank you so much! I believe that I do need to "grow a backbone" and stand up to people. I don't know why I have this problem. And it's not just the Sam Adams/crab dip friend. Most of my friends are pushers, except for the ones who know what struggle is.

    I totally understand the backhanded support. People may think they are paying me a compliment by saying "What are you dieting for?" but it's actually quite the opposite.
  • can_tastic
    can_tastic Posts: 28 Member
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    Also, I'm kind of *hoping* to meet and hang out with different friends... which is why I'm here :flowerforyou:
  • rochey1098
    rochey1098 Posts: 285
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    I know what you mean and it's very frustrating. I know it's hard to imagine but most of the time they're only thinking of themselves, not wanting to seem like the one making all the wrong choices lol. These days I've learned that putting my foot down is a big part of self improvement, it sounds harsh but no one else is fighting this fight with you, not even your friends. If you do find a friend that's willing to support you then you're very lucky
  • can_tastic
    can_tastic Posts: 28 Member
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    That's ok, I like to hear the harsh truth... it helps motivate me. You're right, no one is going to do this for me.

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